Decode
by ComicBookGirl1206
Summary: Bella & Edward are bestfriends. She's inlove with him & he has no idea. After years of heartache, Bella decides it's time to move on, but how will Edward take it when he realizes that Bella isn't the shy girl he thinks she is, & starts dating another guy?
1. Chapter 1

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

**Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!**

**Though I desperatly wish I owned Edward Cullen and his sexiness, I don't :( Him and all these characters belong to Stephanie. I just like to borrow them!**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I don't remember when I realized that drawing put me at peace or found it helped me escape from the world, but it was my most favorite thing to do. My hand moved across the sketch book with perfect ease and texture. I stopped and let out a sigh when I realized what I was drawing. Or more importantly, _whom_ I was drawing. It seemed like no matter what I did, he constantly invaded my thoughts. I tried to move on, I truly did, but how can you move on from someone you've been in love with your entire life? It was nearly impossible.

I let out another huff and carefully ripped the page from my sketch book. It would have to be hidden with all the others. I grabbed the small stepping stool from below my bed and went over to the book shelf. I couldn't reach the top on my own, so there was no reason for anyone to think I would put anything up there. That's why it was the perfect hiding spot. Not like it really mattered anyway. Everyone knew I was in love with him, except for him, of course. I stepped up onto the stool and reached for one of the folders that was hidden up there. It was becoming quite thick. Almost time for a new one. That would make it five folders. I rolled my eyes as I thought of how pathetic I was. He obviously had no feelings for me except for friendship, and here I was keeping folders of drawings I had done of him hidden. I quickly placed the sketch into the folder, closed it shut, then put it back where it was. No use getting lost in sketches of him, that would only lead to depression. As I stepped down from the stool, I heard my phone start to ring.

'_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world,_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic!'_

I let out a chuckle and shook my head at my best friend's ringtone. I still couldn't believe I let her talk me into setting that up for her, but whatever Alice Cullen wanted, Alice Cullen got.

"Can I change this ringtone yet?" I asked as I answered the phone.

"No you may not!" Alice cried through the phone. "You know you love it and it reminds you of me!"

I had to smile. Even though I hated the song, it did remind me of Alice. It was peppy and perky, just like the little pixie. Alice was a tiny little thing but she was fierce, and anyone who knew her knew you never dared to go against Alice.

"So, what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked as I sat down on my chair facing the window. It was actually sunny out, which was rare for Forks, Washington.

"You're coming bowling with Jazz and I tonight!"

"Oh am I?" I asked as picked at my fingers.

"Yes, and don't even bother saying no because you and I both know you'll end up coming anyway." Alice stated firmly.

"Alice, I really don't feel like being the third wheel tonight."

I heard Alice gasp on the other end of the phone and couldn't help but wince. "Have we _ever_ made you feel like the third wheel?"

I bit my lip as I contemplated my answer. It was true; Alice and her boyfriend, Jasper, never made me feel like the third wheel. I always felt wanted and they knew exactly what to do to cheer me up. They were some of the greatest friends you could ask for.

"No, you haven't. I'm just not in the mood to go out." I answered.

"Isabella Swan! Are you thinking about what I _think_ you're thinking about?" Alice cried out loudly.

I smiled and replied, "Munchkins?"

"You're a riot, Swan. Be ready by five! Love you!"

"Alice, wait!" But before I could finish she hung up the phone.

I let out a groan as I pulled the phone away from my ear while mumbling, "Stupid pixie."

I sat my phone down on the table before bringing my legs up onto my seat to rest my chin on my knees. I really didn't feel like doing much of anything, but I refused to tell Alice that. Then I would have to listen to the whole speech on how I should tell him how I feel and blah, blah, blah. I've tried to tell him how I feel, it never worked out. I always chickened out and made myself look like the biggest fool every time.

I was broken from my thoughts when I saw a shiny Volvo drive towards my house. I couldn't contain my smile as I jumped out of my chair and ran out of my bedroom. I should have known better to run because I tripped twice from the chair to the door, but even that didn't remove my smile. When I finally made it downstairs, only tripping one more time, I was just in time to see my older brother, Emmett, walk towards the front door.

Emmett was a year older than me, although he looked much older. At eighteen, Emmett towered over all the kids in our high school and was about twice their size in muscle. Emmett was one of the star players on our school's football team and senior class president. He had the world at his feet, but his dream was to become Chief of police just like our father, Charlie. Everyone, including our father, tried to explain to him that he should leave, go to college and make something of himself, but Emmett didn't want to hear any of it. He was extremely proud of our father and always said he could only wish to be half the man Charlie was.

"What's going on?" I asked as I reached the bottom of the steps.

"Edward and I are going to shoot some hoops," Emmett answered as he opened the front door to reveal Edward Cullen standing there.

Edward Cullen was Alice's older brother, my brother's best friend, and my best guy friend. Edward was quarterback and captain of the football team, and was one of the most known kids at our school. He knew how to play guitar, piano and sing. He was quite the package. Everyone loved him and he constantly had girls throwing themselves at him. Who could really blame them? Edward was beyond gorgeous.

My breath caught in my throat from just the sight of him standing there in sneakers, black mesh shorts, and a white tank top. His bronzed hair was tussled in the normal 'I don't have to do anything to it and it still looks good' way, while his beautiful green eyes were almost as bright as the sun. His lips were pulled back in his trademark lopped smirk and his amazing jaw line showed traces of a not quite five o'clock shadow.

"Hey, what's up man," I heard Emmett greet him along with a fist bump.

I shook my head. I would never understand the concept of a fist bump.

"You ready?" Edward asked as he walked through the front door.

"Yeah, just let me grab my bag," Emmett replied as he jogged past me up the stairs.

When I looked up, I tried to contain the huge smile on my face, but failed miserably. Edward was looking at me and I had to remind myself not to stare. His smile only got bigger when our eyes connected.

"Hey, love" he whispered as he moved towards me as I blushed.

He started to call me 'love' over the summer break and I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world. Though I was pretty certain he didn't realize he was doing it. When he first did it, I had choked on my water and had to ask him what he called me. He looked at me in complete confusion and I never brought it up again.

When Edward wrapped his arms around me for a hug, I felt the familiar tingles I always got when he touched me. I couldn't help how utterly perfect and complete I felt in his arms. After a couple seconds, I reluctantly pulled away.

"How are you?" I asked as I leaned on the railing of the steps.

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Can't complain."

I smiled. Edward was easy like that. As we stood there and talked, memories started to flood back into my mind of when we were younger. Edward and I had always been close. Ever since I could remember, Edward treated me the same way he treated Alice. He was extremely protective and one of the best listeners out there. There was a time when I was seven and he was eight, I was on the swings at the park while he and Emmett played on the slide. Some older kids came up to me and yelled at me to get off the 'their' swing, causing me to cry. Before I could even take a step away, Edward was there screaming at the kids to leave me alone. There was another time when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore, some guys thought it would be funny to pick on me during gym since I couldn't play any sport to save my life. We were playing dodge ball when the leader of the group, a junior, decided to hit me with the ball even though I was sitting on the bleachers out of the game. Edward found out about it and beat the living shit out of the guy. He was suspended for three days. Emmett would always joke and say, "She's _my_ little sister dude! You're making me look bad!"

"What are you up to tonight?" Edward asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I rolled my eyes and let out a small groan. "Your sister is dragging me bowling with her and Jasper."

Edward let out a chuckle. "I take it you don't want to go?"

I shook my head. "Nope! But you know your sister; she'll drag me out of here if she has to!"

"Let's go!" Emmett yelled as he raced down the steps with his gym bag in hand.

"Hey, what's Rosalie doing tonight? Maybe I can talk her into coming bowling with us?"

Rosalie Hale was Jasper's twin sister and Emmett's long time girlfriend. They met back in their freshman year and have been together ever since. Rosalie was beyond gorgeous, and people often wondered what she saw in someone like Emmett, because of his tendency to be outrageous and goofy. She would simply answer, "He makes me laugh." Rosalie was a tough girl. She took no shit from anyone, and always spoke her mind. She was a lot to handle if you didn't know her.

"She's out at some thing, at some place, with her mom and her aunts," Emmett waved off.

I looked at my brother in complete shock. "Nice, Emmett. Do you ever listen to your girlfriend?"

"I listen to her!" Emmett exclaimed. "But come on, even she wouldn't expect me to remember that."

Edward and I both laughed before Edward turned to me. "What time is my sister picking you up?"

"Five."

"Well, how about you suffer bowling for two hours, then I'll come by and save you? How does that sound? We'll go catch a movie." Edward suggested.

My smile was so big it was actually hurting my face. "That sounds great!"

I was on cloud nine. I barely registered Emmett telling me to let Dad know he would be home later, or the fact that Edward was giving me a hug goodbye.

As soon as I heard the familiar sound of gravel underneath tires as the car pulled away, I let out a very Alice like squeal as I jumped up and down. My life was going great. Now, if I could only get up the courage to tell Edward I was in love with him, my life would be perfect.


	2. Chapter 2

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

****In my mind, Edward is mine and he is tied down on my bed waiting for me to do naughty things to him, but in reality, he belongs to Stephanie and I'm slowly coming to terms with that :(****

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I sat anxiously inside the bowling alley with my knee bouncing up and down looking towards the entrance. Edward had said he would pick me up at seven and it was now a quarter after and I hadn't heard from him at all. I glanced down at my phone and almost growled in frustration when I saw I had no missed calls.

"Sorry we're boring you, Bella." I heard Jasper say as he sat next to me.

I gave him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so out of it."

"Who are you waiting for anyway?" Alice asked as she walked up to us.

I bit my lip and contemplated telling her. I didn't want her to think I wasn't having a good time because, surprisingly, I was. But when I saw Alice raise her eyebrow, I knew that lying would not be an option.

"Edward said that he would be here at seven and he would take me to the movies. He's just a little late, that's all."

"You're leaving us?" Alice cried out causing me to cringe. I was sure everyone within a five mile ratious had heard her.

"We're just going to the movies. I figured by the time he got here anyway, you guys would want to go home."

Alice gave me a knowing smile and nodded her head. "Mmhmm. I'm sure you did."

I rolled my eyes and looked toward the entrance again. Edward wasn't ever really late and if he was, he always called.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon," Jasper said to me with a pat on the knee.

I gave him a small smile before he stood up to take his turn at bowling.

When I looked back at the entrance my eyes went wide when I saw Jacob Black walk through the door. Jacob was the son of my fathers oldest friend, Billy Black. They lived down on the reservation La Push, but came over my house every weekend to hang out with my father and Emmett. Jacob had a huge crush on me and wasn't shy about it. He asked me out numerous times and I always turned him down. It wasn't that Jacob wasn't good looking, he was definitely one of the best looking guys I'd ever seen. He had olive toned skin, a cute baby face, and was almost the size of Emmett at the age of sixteen, but I had always thought of him as nothing more than a friend. What caught me off guard was his usual long, black hair had been cut short, bringing out the angles of his face more.

Behind Jacob walked in his two friends Seth Clearwater and Embry Call. They were almost as big as Jacob, but not quite. Jacob looked around the bowling alley until his eyes locked on my own. His face immediately lit up before he pointed towards me and started to walk in my direction.

"Jacob, hey! You cut your hair!" I stated with a smile as he walked up. I gave Seth and Embry a tiny wave which they returned.

Jacob blushed and ran his hand through his hair. "I figured I was due for a change."

"I like it!" I told him, causing his smile to widen. "What brings you guys here?"

"Alice said you guys would be bowling tonight, so I figured I'd stop by," he responded as he sat down next to me.

I looked over at Alice who was looking at everything but me. The look on her face gave her away instantly. She planned this.

"Oh, did she?" I mumbled as Jasper made his way over to give each boy a handshake.

Jacob's face immediately fell. "I hope you don't mind."

I shook my head and waved my hand in a dismissive manner. "No, it's cool. The more the merrier! But I was just about to run to the bathroom. So, I'll be right back."

Jacob's smile returned and he said ok. I stood up, giving Alice a pointed look causing her to sigh and say she'd be right back. We were completely silent as we walked towards the bathroom. I didn't want to make a scene, but once we stepped foot through the door, I went off.

"Alice, what the hell do you think you are you doing?"

"Bella, look, I'm sorry! But you know how crazy he is about you! Why can't you just give him a chance?" Alice cried out.

"Do I really have to answer that? You don't think I wish I could?"

"Bella, I love my brother. I do. But Edward is a complete idiot and can't see what's right in front of him!"

I let out a huff and leaned against the sink in the bathroom. I hated when she tried to meddle in my love life.

"You can't spend your entire life waiting for my brother. Especially when there is a guy more than willing to take his place." Alice said softly.

I bit my lip. She, of course, was right. I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.

"Sweetie," Alice began. "Edward is a dog who moves from girl to girl and breaks your heart each time, unknowingly. Jacob has been crazy about you just as long as you've been crazy about Edward. I think he could be good for you."

I gave her a little smile and asked, "Since when did you become Team Jacob?"

Alice put her hands up in a defensive mode. "I'm Team whoever-is-willing-to-make-a-move. And even though I wish with everything I have, that my brother would be that person, I know right now, he's not. I do believe my brother has feelings for you that he isn't aware of," I rolled my eyes at that. "But he's not going to realize those feelings if things stay the way they are. Maybe seeing you with another guy will help with that push."

My eyes went wide. "And what, I use Jake like that? Alice, be real."

"I am!" Alice cried out. "You wouldn't be using Jake!"

I gave her a stern look which caused her to shake her head. "Ok, maybe you would be using him _a little, _but what if makes Edward finally wake up?"

"And what if it doesn't?" I challenged.

"Then you're in relationship with Jacob Black. He's not a bad looking guy, I know you know that, and I'm sure he'd be a sweet boyfriend."

"And if I don't feel anything towards him?" I asked softly.

"Then you break up with him."

"And break Jacob's heart? I don't think so." I state firmly as I crossed my arms over my chest.

Alice let out a sigh and leaned on the sink next to me. "I just want you to be happy, Bella." I could hear the sincerity in her words.

That's all I wanted too. I wanted to be happy. I watched my friends day in and day out and wished I had what they had. I wanted someone to care about me, someone to want me, someone to _love_ me. I was in love with Edward Cullen, and if I wanted to be with him, I had to do something about it.

"Alice, you're right," I said suddenly.

Her face lit up as she stood all the way up. "You're going to go out with Jacob?"

"No." Her face fell. "I'm going to tell your brother how I feel."

Her face lit up again and she let out a very Alice like squeal. "That's amazing! Bella, I'm so proud of you!"

Alice started to jump up and down as she wrapped her arms around me. After a couple of minutes she finally calmed down and pulled away. "When are you going to tell him?"

"I guess now is as good as time as ever! When he gets here, I'll tell him I have to talk to him in private and then I'll tell him!"

Alice squealed again before she resumed her jumping. To be honest, I almost wanted to jump up and down with her. My entire body felt like it was on fire and the butterflies in my stomach were going at super speed.

Alice grabbed my hand and started to drag me towards the door of the bathroom. "We should get out there! He could be here already!"

But Edward wasn't out there, and he never showed up for the rest of the night. I tried to act like it didn't affect me, but it did. Jacob asked me out again before we left. I turned him down nicely and he just smiled and said he wouldn't give up because I was too important. That made me smile. Jacob was a really nice guy, but I just couldn't get passed my feelings for Edward.

I settled down in my bed once I got home and turned the light out. I still hadn't heard anything from Edward and I was starting to get a little worried. He didn't even call to tell me he wouldn't make it. I laid down as my mind wandered. I still wanted to tell Edward how I felt and knew that if I let myself continue to think, I would talk myself out of it. I had to let him know that I needed to talk to him. I sat up quickly and grabbed my cell phone.

_**Hey, not sure what happened tonight, but I hope you're ok! I need to talk to you about something important, so when you get a chance give me a call! xoxo - B**_

I waited for what seemed like an hour for a response before sleep finally consumed me. I didn't know how long I had actually slept for when I heard the tapping noise that awoke me. It took me a couple seconds to realize where the noise was coming from. I shot up out of bed and ran towards my window. Edward was perched on the tree outside of my window.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whisper-yelled to him as I opened my window.

"You said you needed to talk to me and that it was important, so, here I am!" He whispered back as he climbed into my room.

I looked at him like he was crazy. "You could have called!"

Edward ran his hand through his hair and said, "I did! You didn't answer!"

I gave him a confused look before walking over to my bedside table. I picked up my phone and saw I had three missed calls and six text messages.

_**Please answer your phone. I'm so sorry about tonight, don't be mad! - E**_

_**Did something happen? Please answer. - E**_

_**Bella, come on, you said it was important! - E**_

_**Love, please call me. Now you have me worried. - E**_

_**I'm really sorry! - E**_

_**Ok, I'm coming over! - E**_

I began to curse myself for not waking up to any of his messages. I shook my head - I forgot to take my phone off vibrate. I would do that. I put my phone back down on the table and looked over at Edward.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to take it off of vibrate," I whispered as I sat down on my bed.

"You had me worried," Edward mumbled as he made his way over to my bed.

"Join the club," I snapped as I leaned over and switched on my bedside lamp.

"I'm sorry.. I really am, something… came up," Edward said as he sat down and scratched the back of his neck.

I gave him a weary look. He was lying to me and I wasn't sure why. I was about to let it go when he turned his head slightly and I saw it. My heart stopped and my jaw locked.

"Something came up?" I asked him in a cold voice.

He looked at me and nodded. I let out a forced chuckle and shook my head. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I was pissed.

"Would that something happen to be your dick?" I asked firmly.

Edward's eyes went wide. I reached my hand out and yanked down the neck of his shirt. "Nice hickey, Edward."

His hand shot up to cover the disgusting mark. Tears formed in my eyes as I snatched my hand back and stood up. I was so mad I started to pace. Here I was, about to pour my heart out to this man and he was too busy getting a hickey from some slut to even call and tell me he wasn't picking me up.

"Bella, I'm sorry! I was out and there was this girl…" I held my hands up, signaling for him to stop. I didn't want to hear it. It was all the same.

_She was hot as hell._

_You should have seen what she could do._

_I was powerless._

I was done with his excuses. I was done listening to him talking about whoring himself out week after week, and crying my eyes out every time he did it.

"I can't believe you! You ditch me so you can fuck some whore!" I cried out.

Edward sat there staring at me stunned. I had never cursed like that before, and I'm sure him hearing it was just as much of a shock for him as it was for me.

"And the worst part is that this isn't even the first time it's happened! But I've always kept my mouth shut! And that's _fucked_, Edward!"

"Bella, I'm so…"

"Don't you dare apologize to me! I don't want to hear it, Edward. I'm done! I'm so done!"

I sounded like a lunatic but I didn't care. Edward had no idea what I was talking about and I didn't care. He just sat there and watched me, completely and utterly confused. I felt like screaming and throwing things. I didn't want to be heartbroken anymore. I was ready to tell Edward that I was in love with him, and once again he proved to me the one thing I had been fighting against. The one thing I didn't want to do. I needed to move on.

"What do you mean you're done? Bella, come on, I'm sorry, okay? I couldn't help it!"

That only made my rage heavier. My eyes went wide again and I had to remind myself that Emmett and my father were sleeping down the hall.

"You couldn't help it? Are you fucking serious, Cullen? You could have picked up the fucking phone and said, 'Bella, I'm not going to make it! Sorry!' But no! You choose to stick your dick in some whore instead of calling someone you call your best friend!"

"You are my best friend! Love, you have…"

"Don't call me that!" I cried out loudly. I squeezed my eyes shut when I realized I was probably too loud. I took a deep breath before opening my eyes back up. Edward sitting on the edge of my bed looking completely hurt. Yet, I couldn't find it in myself to care. I had been hurt too many times by the man sitting on that bed and I was done.

"I think you should leave," I whispered.

Edward's eyes went wide. This was the first time in my life I had told Edward I wanted him to go. Any other time I had wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

"Bella, why are you so angry with me? You've never been this angry with me before," he asked confused.

He was right. I always forgave him. But not anymore. Something awoke in me when I decided to tell him how I felt, and I didn't want it to go away.

"Please leave, Edward," I pleaded with him.

I felt as the anger started to slowly escape me and the hurt started to creep up. If he stayed any longer, I would definitely cry in front of him. After a couple seconds, Edward stood up. He took a step towards me which caused me to take a step back. The look on his face was heartbreaking and I wanted nothing more than to tell him I was sorry, but I couldn't.

"Can I call you tomorrow?" he asked in a whisper.

I looked down at the ground. Did I want him to call me tomorrow? Yes. Should he call me tomorrow? Probably not. I sniffled and looked up at him.

"I'll call you."

Edward looked like he was debating on whether or not he should try and reach out for me again, but decided against it. He nodded his head one final time and walked towards my window. He hesitated for a second before speaking.

"You said you wanted to talk to me about something important."

I looked up at the ceiling as I bit my lip. It was important. It had been the most important thing I needed to do.

I took a deep breath and whispered, "It doesn't matter anymore."

I saw Edward's shoulders sag as he looked towards the ground. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said again before climbing out the window and he was gone.

As soon as he was out of sight, I collapsed onto my bed and let the tears flow. I made a vow right then and there, that would be the last time I cried over him.

I was done with Edward Cullen.


	3. Chapter 3

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**Edward is alllll mine! Of course this is only in my mind :)**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I closed the front door quietly and ran. When I reached the safety of my car I let out a breath of relief and hopped in. Tanya Denali was hot - she could have been one of the hottest girls I had ever been with. When she had first come to Forks last year, I knew I wanted her. But so did everyone else in the school. Which, honestly, isn't a problem, because I always got what I wanted, but she knew people wanted her, and I refused to be like everyone else and fall at her feet. I could tell she didn't like it, Tanya, like me, was use to getting whatever she wanted. So, I waited. We would flirt and talk, but I never went in for the kill. She would try, but I would back off and find someone else. Always keep them wanting more that was my motto.

But when I saw her walking around Port Angeles earlier, I knew the wait was over and I had to have her. I threw her my trademark smirk and she was putty in my hands. It wasn't long before we were back at her house and she was blowing me on the couch in her living room. I could have had her in the back alley of Port Angeles, but I knew it would be harder to leave her in an alley then it would be at her house. I made the suggestion that we go back to her house and the rest was history. Tanya was great at giving head, but she was clingy, and Edward Cullen doesn't do clingy. I asked her to get me a drink and ran out of the house when she was in the kitchen. She started talking about going out to dinner and some shit like that. I shivered at the thought as I pulled out onto the main street. I would never even consider taking a girl out on a date; it made me sick to my stomach. All the girls I met were good for one thing and one thing only - getting me off. I didn't need them to hang out with me, I didn't need them to talk to me, I had my friends for that.

I smiled when Bella came to my mind.

Bella Swan was the younger sister of my best friend, Emmett. She wasn't just his little sister, she was also my best friend, too. I had known Bella and Emmett almost my entire life and they were two of the greatest people you could have ever met. If you needed anything, neither one of them would hesitate to help you. Bella had always been awkward in a cute kind of way. She couldn't walk two feet without tripping and was always getting hurt somehow. Over the years, people picked on her constantly, and I always had to defend her. That was until this past summer. Alice and I had gone to Chicago for two months with our family for vacation when it happened. I talked to Bella every day and every night, I missed her like crazy and as soon as we were back in Forks, the first thing I did was get in the car to go see her. Emmett was having a BBQ with a bunch of our friends since it was a rare nice day. Bella walked out back in a black bikini with one of Emmett's button up shirts on, though it was completely open. She wasn't the awkward cute girl that I remembered when I left. Bella had a body that was delicious looking, she had breasts that were beautiful and her hair was long and shiny. Bella was a woman, and she was a hot woman.

I shook my head quickly just like I had that day. I couldn't think of her like that. Bella was my friend, she was Emmett's little sister. She was not a hot woman.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Cullen._

I growled at the voice in my head and adjusted my pants. Bella was like a sister to me, nothing else. She was the same age as Alice for Christ's sake. But even though she _was_ a year younger then me, and spent most of her time with my little sister, we always made time for each other. There was this meadow that no one else knew about that we called our own personal heaven. We would go there, Bella would draw and I would play the guitar or write music. I was actually pretty good with a guitar and piano, and my voice wasn't too bad either, but the only people I had the guts to sing in front of were my family and Bella. If I even tried to do it in front of other people, my palms would get sweaty and my throat would close up. Just the thought of it made my heart race. Bella always knew how to calm me though. It didn't matter if I was having anxiety over trying to perform in front of people or angry as hell, she just always knew how to calm me down, and I loved how I could just be myself with her. We would go out to eat, hang out just talking, or go to the movies. I didn't have to put on airs, and I loved it.

I looked at the clock on my car and my eyes went wide, bringing me out of my thoughts.

10:55 p.m.

"Shit!" I yelled out before I made a very dangerous u-turn and headed towards the bowling alley. Maybe she was still there with Alice and Jasper. I swerved in and out of traffic as I prayed she was still there. I tried to think of a story to tell her why I was late. I couldn't tell her the truth. Bella would be mad about it, I knew she would be, even though she would probably never admit it. Ditching your friend to get a blow job by a hot girl was a shitty thing to do, and I didn't want to admit that I actually did it. I was on my way to go pick up Bella when I saw Tanya. I had just planned on getting her number, but when she grabbed my dick right there; all other thoughts were out the window.

I pulled up to the bowling alley and got out of my car. "Fuck!" I yelled when I realized the place was closed and Bella was no where to be seen.

"You're late, Cullen."

My head turned in the direction of the voice and my eyes went hard. There stood Jacob Black with his arms crossed as he leaned against an old, beat up truck.

"Bella left about an hour ago. We had a really fun night," Jacob said with a smirk on his face that made me want to hit him.

Jacob had a huge crush on Bella and constantly made it known. I didn't like him. I didn't like the way he looked at her, I didn't like the way he touched her, I just didn't like him at all.

"Oh yeah, did she turn you down again?"

The smirk on Jacob's face fell and I knew I hit a nerve. I couldn't contain the smug smirk on my face. Did I mention that I hated this kid? I only dealt with him because he was an old family friend of Emmett's.

"Keep fucking up, Cullen, and eventually she'll get tired of it." he said firmly.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Jacob let out a little chuckle and shook his head. He moved and got into his truck.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Black?" I yelled as he closed the door.

My jaw clenched when I heard the distinct sound of his laughter before he pulled off. I let out an aggravated growl and hopped into my car. I had to get a hold of Bella. I moved to grab my phone out of my pocket but stopped when I felt it wasn't there. I immediately started to panic as I searched my car. If I left it at Tanya's I would shoot myself.

"Oh thank god!" I mumbled when I found my phone on the passenger side floor. I looked at saw that I had one new text message sent at 10:24 p.m.

_**Hey, not sure what happened tonight, but I hope you're ok! I need to talk to you about something important, so when you get a chance give me a call! xoxo - B**_

I hit the green call button as I pulled out of the parking lot to head back to Forks.

"Come on, love," I muttered as the phone continued to ring.

'_Hi, you've reached Bella…'_

I hung up and let out a growl. Bella must have really been mad at me to not answer the phone. When I stopped at a red light I quickly wrote a text to her.

_**Please answer your phone. I'm so sorry about tonight, don't be mad! - E**_

I waited about two seconds before I tried calling again. Still no answer. Fuck. I didn't want her mad at me, I hated when she was mad at me!

"Shit!" I yelled again.

I quickly wrote out another text.

_**Did something happen? Please answer. - E**_

I tried to call one last time, but still no answer. She obviously wasn't answering my phone calls. Even if she was mad, she should at least tell me she was alright. Bella rarely used the word important, so when did, it was _important._

I wrote another text.

_**Bella, come on, you said it was important! - E**_

My fingers tapped on the steering wheel as I waited for a response. Nothing came.

_**Love, please call me. Now you have me worried. - E**_

It was true. Bella always answered to me. Even if she was mad or upset. I must have really made her mad.

_Keep fucking up, Cullen, and eventually she'll get tired of it._

For some reason, Jacob's words rang through my head and I began to get even more worried. I sent another text.

_**I'm really sorry! - E**_

Still, no response. I looked at the clock. It was now 11:13 p.m. and it would be another half an hour before I reached Forks. I cursed to myself. Bella not answering was really bothering me. I had to talk to her. I had to apologize about tonight, and I had to find out what she wanted to talk to me about. I made my decision right then and grabbed my phone.

_**Ok, I'm coming over! - E**_

I made it to Bella's house is record time and parked my car a little down the street. Though the Chief loved me like I was his own son, I was sure he wouldn't appreciate me climbing the tree to get into his daughters bedroom in the middle of the night. I climbed the tree next to Bella's window with no trouble. I had done it so many times before, it was now the easiest thing in the world. Bella never answered any of my texts, so obviously she had no objection to me coming over. Once I reached her window, I saw that she was sleeping in her bed. A small smile came to my face. Bella was adorable when she slept and her talking was the cutest. I always loved listening to the things she had to say when she slept. I tried to open the window but it was locked. I frowned. Bella always unlocked her window before she went to bed. Just for the simple fact of situations like this. I couldn't count how many times I had climbed this tree in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep. If Bella was awake, we both talked and watched TV until we eventually passed out, or if she was sleeping I just curled in next to her until I fell asleep, which never took long.

I tapped on the window softly, but hopefully loud enough for her to hear. After a couple of minutes, Bella began to stir in her sleep, before she saw me at the window. She jumped up and ran towards me.

"What the hell are you doing?" She whisper-yelled to me as she opened the window.

"You said you needed to talk to me and that it was important, so, here I am!" I whispered back as I climbed into her room.

"You could have called!"

I ran my hand through my hair and said, "I did! You didn't answer!"

She gave me a confused look before walking over to her bedside table and picking up her phone. It was then I got a real good look at her. She was wearing blue hip-huggers underwear with a blue tank top. I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning when she turned around and I saw she had no bra on.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to take it off of vibrate," she whispered as she sat down on my bed.

"You had me worried," I mumbled as I made my way over to her bed.

"Join the club," she snapped as she leaned over and switched on the bedside lamp.

"I'm sorry, love. I really am, something… came up," I said as I sat down and scratched the back of my neck.

_Something came up, good one, Cullen._

I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts it was a stupid excuse, but I had to say something.

"Something came up?" She asked me in an odd voice.

I looked at her and nodded. I didn't know what I would say if she asked what that something was, all I knew was that it was _something._ Bella let out a forced chuckle and shook her head. She was pissed.

"Would that thing happen to be your dick?" She asked firmly.

My eyes went wide. Did she just ask about my dick? I felt a twitching in my pants I couldn't understand. Bella reached out and yanked down the neck of my shirt.

"Nice hickey, Edward."

My hand shot up to my neck. I couldn't believe that bitch gave me a hickey. I should have known that's what she was doing when she was sucking on my neck.

"Bella, I'm sorry! I was out and there was this girl…" I started but stopped when Bella held up her hands. I regretted lying to her. I should have told her the truth right off the bat. No, I shouldn't have gone to Tanya's house. I should have left to get Bella like I said I would.

"I can't believe you! You ditch me so you can fuck some whore!" Bella cried out.

I looked at her completely stunned.

Bella was cursing.

Bella _never _cursed.

It was… hot.

"And the worst part is that this isn't even the first time it's happened! But I've always kept my mouth shut! And that's _fucked_, Edward!" she cried out as she stood up.

She paced back and forth and I just sat there watching her. I knew she would be upset about me not making it, but I had no idea she would be _that_ mad. Bella rarely got mad at me.

"Bella, I'm so…" I tried to apologize but was cut off.

"Don't you dare apologize to me! I don't want to hear it, Edward. I'm done! I'm so done!"

My eyes went wide and I started to panic. "What do you mean you're done? Bella, come on, I'm sorry, okay? I couldn't help it!"

I flinched at my own words. They sounded so pathetic.

"You couldn't help it? Are you fucking serious, Cullen? You could have picked up the fucking phone and said, 'Bella, I'm not going to make it! Sorry!' But no! You choose to stick your dick in some whore instead of calling someone you call your best friend!"

_Fuck._

She was talking about my dick again. I had to move so my pants didn't feel so tight.

"You are my best friend! Love, you have…"

"Don't call me that!" she cried out loudly.

I looked at her confused. Call her what? What did I call her? She didn't want me to call her my best friend? I watched as Bella stopped pacing and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath before speaking again.

"I think you should leave," she whispered.

My eyes went wide again. She was kicking me out? Since when did Bella kick me out?

"Bella, why are you so angry with me? You've never been this angry with me before," I asked confused.

"Please leave, Edward."

I continued to look at her with pleading eyes. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to find out why she was so angry with me. After a couple seconds, I stood up. I took a step towards her which caused her to take a step back. I looked at her completely hurt. She wouldn't even come near me.

"Can I call you tomorrow?" I asked in a whisper.

Bella waited a couple seconds before she said, "I'll call you."

I knew that saying. That was the saying you said when you didn't want the person to call and you knew you weren't going to call. I debated on reaching out for her again but decided against it. I nodded my head again before I turned and walked towards the window. I then remembered there was a reason I came here. She wanted to talk to me about something important. I hesitated before I turned around started speaking again.

"You said you wanted to talk to me about something important."

It was a couple seconds before she said anything. I watched as she took a deep breath and whispered, "It doesn't matter anymore."

My shoulders sagged as I looked to the ground. "I'm sorry, Bella," I said before climbing out the window and down the tree.

I walked back to my car confused. Bella was extremely angry, and whatever was important for her to talk about, wasn't important anymore. I drove back to my house feeling like a complete asshole. Bella was right. This wasn't the first time I had done this to her, but I swore it would be the last. The look on her face was so hurt and full of rage I don't think I would ever be able to forget it. It didn't take me long to get back to my house. I parked my car and walked inside. I wasn't prepared for what was waiting for me.

At the bottom of the stairs stood my sister with the biggest smile on her face, but when our eyes connected the smile disappeared. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when her eyes moved to my neck.

Alice's eyes went wide with fury before she yelled, "You asshole!" Before stomping up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door.

I let out a huff.

Great.

Now I had both Bella and my sister mad at me. Obviously, Alice knew what Bella wanted to talk to me about and knew that I ditched her. I walked up the stairs and into the bathroom. When I turned on the light and looked in the mirror I saw red. I had a small, but very dark, hickey right next to my adam's apple. I never let _anyone_ give me hickeys. Hickeys are a sign of ownership, and _no one_ owned me. I gritted my teeth knowing that I would have to go talk to my sister because she would be the only one that could help me. I made my way to Alice's bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Go away, jerk!"

"Why are you mad at me anyway? What did I do to you?" I called through the door. Seconds later, it opened to reveal a very pissed off looking pixie.

"Did you tell Bella you would pick her up tonight and then never show?"

"Yes, but…"

"And what were you doing that you didn't show?"

I clamped my mouth shut. I knew she knew. She knew I knew she knew. But she wanted me to say it.

"Nice hickey, dickhead!" She said in a low, menacing voice through closed teeth before slamming the door in my face.

I clenched my jaw.

_You will not kill your sister. You will not kill your sister._

I knocked on the door again. "Come on Al, I need your help! Make this thing go away!"

The door flew open again. "Oh, you want my help? Ok, here's my help. Next time, tell the whore not to suck so hard!"

Alice tried to slam the door again but I stopped it with my hand. "Ok, that's enough. Will you help me or not?"

Alice stood there glaring at me for a couple seconds with her arms crossed. Her little foot tapped on the ground and her eyes were hard. I brought my hands up under my chin and pouted out my lips.

"Please, Al. I'm your big brother"

I would force the water works if I had to. I did not want this mark on me longer than it had to be and I needed Alice's help to get rid of it. Alice rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms.

"Fine," she huffed as she pushed passed me and made her way down to the kitchen. It was then I saw Jasper lying in her bed watching TV.

"Hey, man," he greeted.

I gave him a quick nod and said, "Hey" before quickly following my sister downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Sit!" She ordered as she moved around the kitchen.

I sat down on the bar stool and watched her. "Where are mom and dad?"

"They left for Seattle early so they wouldn't have to leave in the morning," Alice answered as she slammed the freezer door shut.

"So, are you going to tell me what Bella wanted to talk to me about?" I asked as she walked over to me.

"Nope," Alice said while popping her lips at the p.

I watched as she wrapped a piece of ice in a paper towel, walked over to me and all but shoved the ice into my neck. I hissed at the cold contact and forcefulness of her shove.

"Hold that there." She instructed.

I put my hand up to hold the ice and watched as she walked back over towards the sink.

"Don't you think that's a little unfair?"

Alice let out a chuckle and shook her head. She grabbed a wash cloth from underneath the sink along with a garbage bag.

"As opposed to telling her you would pick her up then never showing up or calling? No, I don't think it's unfair." she snapped as she ran the wash cloth under the water, before ringing it out of access water.

I looked down at my lap. "If it's worth anything, I feel really shitty about it."

Alice wrapped the wash cloth in the garbage bag and put it in the microwave, before pressing the buttons for one minute. She turned back towards me and said, "Leave the ice on for an hour, then press the star button. While the wash cloth is heating up, massage your neck in that area. Don't do it too hard, or you'll just continue to bruise your neck. When the wash cloth is heated, take it out of the garbage bag and put it on your neck. It should help lighten the bruising and make it go away faster."

Alice turned to walk out of the room but stopped when I called her name.

"Was what Bella had to talk to me about really important?"

Alice turned back to me and gave me a small smile. "Probably not anymore."


	4. Chapter 4

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**I'm still trying to figure out how I can make Edward all mine, but for now he's still Stephanie's ;)**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

When I opened my eyes the next day, I prayed it was all a dream, but it wasn't. My head hurt from all the crying I had done and my throat felt dry. My heart was aching as well. I knew I was done. Last night was the last straw. Edward Cullen would no longer be a factor in my life. It hurt, but it needed to be done. I couldn't have my heart broken constantly anymore it was too much.

I sat up and looked over at my corkboard. It was filled with pictures of all my friends, including Edward. Part of me wanted to take all the pictures down. Out of sight, out of mind. But that wouldn't work. I was best friends with his sister and he was best friends with my brother, it would be too hard to avoid him. I didn't want to avoid him, I wanted to be with him, but that ship sailed a long time ago. I let out a sigh and grabbed my phone. I didn't want to stay in bed, I wanted to go out and forget about it, forget about him. I had spent too many days lying in bed crying over Edward Cullen. I tried to call Alice but she didn't answer. I grabbed my laptop from the floor and booted it up. Maybe I could catch her online. I knew her parents left for Seattle earlier than planned so she was probably with Jasper. I logged onto my Facebook and frowned when I saw my picture. It was of Edward and me earlier in the year. We were sitting in a tree in his backyard talking when Angela took it. Angela was the picture person of the group. You could probably make a picture book of all of our lives with all the pictures Angela has of us. When Alice saw the picture she snorted and said, "Yeah, my brother doesn't have feelings for you." I just brushed her off. I shook my head and went to change my picture. Maybe I couldn't take him out of my life completely, but I could make life more bearable. After I changed my picture, a little IM box appeared on my screen.

**BallarinaChic:** _Are you ok, girlfriend? My brother is an ass! _

I smiled and began to type back. I knew she knew what I had planned to do didn't work because she tried to call me last night, but I was too busy sobbing to answer.

**BrwneyedLamb:** _Yes, he is. I tried to call you, want to do something today?_

**BallarinaChic:** _I'm having a BBQ, remember? Want me to come get you? We can talk! _

**BrwneyedLamb:** I still have to get a showered and dressed, and then I'll head over. I need my girlfriend.

**BallarinaChic **Just get a shower! I have outfits here for you. It'll make you feel better, I promise! I'm sorry, babe.

**BrwneyedLamb:** Yes, I'll come over naked! Lol, I can pick out my own outfit Alice. I'll call you when I'm on my way.

**BallarinaChic**_ Grrr… ok, ok I Love you! _

**BrwneyedLamb:** _Love you too. _

I was about to log out when Jacob's picture on my wall caught my eye. I thought about the night before, well, the good part, and it was with Jacob. He made me laugh and a couple times; he even made me forget Edward was supposed to pick me up. I contemplated for a couple seconds before clicking on his page and wrote on his wall, telling him to come hang out. Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed him or her. It was natural, a part of who he was. No wonder I was so eager to see him.

I changed my status before turning my laptop off and heading towards the bathroom. When I got out, Jacob called and said he would love to come and he'd be by to pick me up. I had just finished getting dressed when Emmett knocked on my door.

"Bella-boo! I'm leaving to go get Rosalie and head over to the Cullen's. You need a ride?"

I rubbed lotion on my arms and answered. "Actually, Jake is on his way here to get me then we're heading over."

Emmett's eyebrows lifted in amusement as he crossed his arms and leaned against my door frame. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"You and Jake, huh?"

"There is no me and Jake. I just thought it would be nice to invite him to come out with us"

I began to pack my pool bag when I noticed Emmett was still standing there.

"You know he's a pretty decent guy, Bells, wouldn't hurt to give him a shot."

I had to bite my lip to keep from making a smart comment. "He's a friend, Em. That's it."

When I looked up at him, I found him staring at me. I gave him a look asking what and he let out a sigh.

"He's a dog, sis. He's never going to change," Emmett whispered causing me to look down at my bag.

Tears sprang to my eyes while thoughts of last night came back to my head.

"I know," I mumbled.

I sat down on my bed next to my bag and stared down at my lap.

"I just want you to be happy," Emmett commented as he sat down next to me on the bed. "Jacob could make you happy."

I looked up at him, gave him a small smile and a nod. Emmett smiled back showing off his dimples and threw his arm around my shoulders.

"And by happy I mean strictly in a 'holding-hands-hugs-goodnight' kind of way, because if anyone puts their hands on my baby sister, I'll kill him!"

I let out a chuckle and shook my head. It was such an Emmett thing to say, and I really loved it. As much as he may have been a pain in the ass, Emmett was the best big brother anyone could ask for.

Our mom left us when I was six and Emmett was seven. I couldn't understand why she would just get up and leave without saying goodbye. The memory of my father telling us is a little fuzzy. Mommy left and she wasn't coming back. He explained that she would still come and visit, but she wasn't going to live with us anymore. She came to visit for the first couple months, but then the visits stopped being more frequent. She moved to Florida and was too busy to come and see us. Emmett gave up after the third no show, but I was determined it wouldn't happen all the time. The last time I had waited for her, Emmett was my rock and I wouldn't have gotten through it with out him.

Our mother was supposed to pick us up at three for a long weekend. She had called two days before and told me. I was so excited when I got off the phone; I ran upstairs to my room and immediately started to pack. That morning, I brought my transformers suit case downstairs with me, yes, transformers, because Emmett had transformers and I wanted to be just like him, and sat on the steps. I remembered yelling at Emmett when he told me it was pointless, that she wasn't coming to get us. At five o'clock, that's when the phone rang. My legs bounced in anticipation but stopped when I heard the yelling.

"That's it, Renee! No more! Bella has been sitting on the stairs waiting for you since this morning! This is going to kill her... I don't care! I'm calling the lawyer in the morning and going for full custody... Then maybe you should start acting like one for once in your life!"

My dad came out a few minutes later and looked down at me. He didn't have to say anything. I already knew. My lower lip trembled and tears came to my eyes. I ran up to my room, slammed the door and threw myself on the bed. I sobbed so hard my chest was starting to hurt.

After a little while, Emmett came into my room and lay down next to me. He brushed his hand through my hair until I calmed down and turned to face him on the bed.

"Why did she leave us, Emmett? I don't understand."

"I don't either. Daddy says mommy's going through something right now that we wouldn't understand"

I sniffled and whipped my nose. "Do you think she still loves us?"

"Daddy says she does," he mumbled.

We both laid there in silence for a couple more minutes before I spoke again. "Do you believe him?"

Emmett's face scrunched up as he said, "I don't care if she loves me or not. I hate her!"

I shot up. "Emmett!" I cried out. "She's our mommy! You can't hate her!"

"Yes, I can."

"You have to love her! She's your family!"

Emmett sat up and looked me right in the eye. "You and daddy are my family, Bells. Renee isn't"

"How can you hate her?" I asked. I was still so confused.

"Because she made my little sister cry. And I hate anyone who makes my little sister cry," he explained.

I wrapped my arms him and gave him a big hug.

"I'll always protect you, Bells. Don't ever forget that," he whispered.

And I never did. That was the first time Emmett called her Renee and what he called her ever since. The next day, Charlie called for full custody and won on account Renee never showed up for any of the court dates. She still called every once in a while, she married a guy almost half her age and was traveling around the world, but the only time I saw her was on my birthday. She always took me to Port Angeles for a day full of movies, shopping, eating, and talking. I actually always had a good time. We would end the day with smiles and her promises of coming around more often, but they never happened. Emmett never went out with her and only stayed on the phone with her long enough on his birthday to say thank you, but that was it. I just couldn't give up on her even though she always disappointed me.

Yes, I see the similarities.

Emmett ruffled my hair, causing my scowl at him before giving me a kiss on the cheek and walking out the door. A little under an hour later, Jacob showed up.

When I first got into the car, I had to remind myself to not be rude; that Jacob wasn't the one I was upset with. I also needed to remember that I would have to have a conversation with him, and try to laugh if he made a joke. But to my surprise, it wasn't that hard. We talked about the night before and he told me how his friend Paul's cousin, Vanessa, would be moving down to the reservation in a month or two. Apparently, she was a 'real pain' according to what Paul said.

It was so easy to have a conversation with Jacob. He was funny and sweet at the same time. I was laughing, actually laughing, and there wasn't even anyone watching. I felt so weightless that I laughed again, just to make the feeling last longer. It seemed like time went by faster when I was with Jake. Before I knew it, we were pulling up to Alice's and I had forgotten all about Edward and his douchebagy self. That is, until I looked over and saw his Volvo parked next to my brother's jeep. I swallowed back a huge lump before stepping out of the car.

"Alice really goes all out, doesn't she?" Jake asked as we looked at the house.

Music was blaring from the backyard and the smell of BBQ was filling the air.

I let out a chuckle and nodded. "This isn't even the half of it though. I can almost guarantee there is a whole Hawaiian theme in the back too."

Jacob let out a full belly laugh that made me smile as we walked into the house. I looked up the stairs and tried to resist every ache in my body that told me to go upstairs. I did tell Edward I would call him and didn't. I bit my lip as I tried to talk my self out of it.

"You want to go out back, Bella?" Jacob asked taking me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at him real quick before looking back up the stairs. "Um, yeah. Of course, I, ugh, I'm just going to run up to the bathroom real quick. I'll meet you out there."

Jacob gave me an odd look before nodding and heading out to the backyard. I let out big sigh before heading up the stairs.

I had to talk to Edward.

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I groaned as loud voices woke me from my sleep. I looked over at the clock and fought the urge to yell in frustration. It was noon, which meant I had only gotten about five hours of sleep. I lay in my bed for hours the night before. I couldn't get Bella's hurt face out of my mind. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms and reached over for my phone. No missed calls and no new messages. I let out a huff and laid back.

I'll call you.

Yeah, sure she would. I shook my head and sat up. From the sounds that were coming from my window, Alice had people over. That's when it hit me. If Alice had people over, that meant Bella would be here. I shot up out of bed and ran to my window. There were a bunch of kids Alice and I went to high school with outside by the pool. I searched the group of people but didn't see Bella anywhere. I raced over to my laptop and quickly brought up Facebook. Maybe Bella wrote something on there to me, or about where she was going today. When I signed on, I couldn't help the smile that came to my face when I saw my profile picture. It was a picture of Bella and me. It was my favorite. It was taken last summer after Alice and I got back from our family vacation. We were in the clearing where we all usually play baseball. Angela Weber was going to this artistic camp for photography and she asked all of us to get together for a photo shoot. Bella had on a black, strapless dress with black and white converse sneakers. She was beautiful. We were both standing; Bella was looking at the camera while she had a grab on my chin. The way the sun gleamed through in the background and the small smile that sat on her face were the reasons why it was my favorite.

I had new notifications, but none from Bella. I check my friend requests real quick and shivered when I saw who added me. Along with a bunch of other girls I knew, was Tanya. Under her request was a little message.

'_Hey sexy, I had fun last night! We should do it again!' _

I just shook my head and went to Bella's page without even accepting anyone. I frowned when I noticed she changed her profile picture. Yesterday, it was she and I. Now it was her, Alice and Rosalie from the beginning of the summer. I scrolled down and looked at her statuses.

Bowling with Jazz and Alice then movies with Edward later.

Guilt started to warm its way through me again. I still couldn't believe I did what I did. Her status from earlier was the one I was interested in though.

BBQ at Alice's … I need my girlfriend.

I felt guilty again. I knew it was about me and I hated myself even more. I was just about to run downstairs to find her when I saw the comment underneath her status. It was from Jacob.

_I'll pick you up in twenty minutes! _

I let out a growl. That meant Jacob _fucking_ Black was here too. I hated that fucking kid. I clicked on his page and snorted when I saw his profile picture. _Of course_ it was of him and Bella. I saw red when I saw what Bella wrote just an hour earlier.

_Last night was real fun! You should come to Alice's today; she's having a BBQ… call me!_

I stared at what Bella wrote as rage filled me. Did I mention I hated this fucking kid? I was brought out of my thoughts when loud banging started on my door.

"Fagward! Wake the fuck up!" Emmett yelled.

I shook my head and walked over to open the door.

"Is that necessary?" I asked as I walked back over to shut off my computer. I didn't need Emmett seeing that I was checking up on Jacob _fucking_ Black's Facebook page, I would never hear the end of it.

"Completely. Now, what the hell are you doing up here, Eddie-boy? It's time to get drunk!" Emmett exclaimed as he flopped down on my bed.

I rolled my eyes. It didn't matter how many countless times I told him not to call me that, he still did.

"Dude. It's only noon." Emmett looked at me like I was crazy and I had to shake my head. What the fuck was I saying? "Sorry, man. I don't know what's wrong with me this morning."

"Yeah, you are acting weird. Does this have anything to do with the fight you and Alice are in?"

My head snapped towards him and looked at him, confused. "What… ugh…" I cleared my throat. "What do you mean?"

Emmett laid back on my bed and put his hands behind his head. "I don't know. She was going off about some shit when Rose and I walked in about how you're an ass and you messed everything up. I figured you two got into a fight or something."

I rolled my eyes and held back the urge to groan. That meant Alice was probably downstairs telling Rosalie everything that happened.

"So, what happened to you last night? I saw you walking off towards that Tanya chick, she's hot."

I laughed and nodded my head. "Oh yeah, she is. She was even hotter when she was blowing me."

Emmett shot up from the bed and looked at me with a huge smile. "No way!"

I laughed and nodded my head. "Yeah, she took me back to her place and blew me in her living room. It was fucking awesome."

Emmett laughed and shook his head. "Where do you find these chicks? Do they just fall to their knees for you as soon as they meet you?"

I nodded my head and said, "Yeah, pretty much."

Emmett and I exchanged a laugh and I continued to tell him about the amazing head Tanya gave me and how I ran the first chance I got. Emmett and I made our way downstairs and stopped in the kitchen. Alice, Rosalie, and Bella were standing in the kitchen. I couldn't explain why my heart started pounding at the sight of Bella. I had hoped she wasn't still mad at me but the look on her face told me other wise. Bella was leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed and an angry look across her face.

"Who's ready to get drunk bitches?" Emmett called out loudly in a high-pitched voice.

All three girls rolled their eyes as Emmett grabbed a beer from the fridge and downed it. Everyone started their own conversation as I tried to get Bella's attention. She was purposely ignoring me I could see it. I would whisper her name, and she would start a conversation with someone else. I would brush her arm and she would move to grab something drink. I was getting really fucking frustrated. It wasn't like I did this major fucking thing. Yeah, what I did was a dick move, but come on, I didn't deserve this shit. I was about to scream her name, and make her look at me, when Jacob _fucking_ Black walked up to the backdoor.

"Hey, you guys coming out?" Jacob asked out of breath.

He was standing there in nothing but black swim shorts and his body soaked. I wanted to yell at him about getting our house wet, but he was technically standing outside, and I would do nothing but make an ass out of myself if I did.

"Damn, Jake. Have you been working out?" Alice asked.

I threw her a dirty look. Why the fuck would she ask that? Jacob smiled and a small red tint came to his face.

Pussy.

"A little, yeah." Jacob answered.

"You look good, doesn't he look good?" Alice asked all of us.

I snorted, which caused Alice to give me a dirty look.

"You do, doesn't he, Bella?" Rosalie asked with a smirk on her face.

Anger soared through my veins as I watched Bella look over at Jacob and smile.

"Real good. You look hot, Jake," Bella said with a smile.

I was fuming. Bella thought he was hot? How could Bella think he was hot? Jacob _fucking_ Black was not hot. He was a fucking dog.

"Thanks, Bella," Jacob whispered with an odd smile on his face that made me want to punch him.

"Hey, Jake. I have a question I want to ask you?" Bella called out as she walked over to him.

I watched in horror as Bella did the unthinkable.

"Do you maybe want to go out tomorrow night?"


	5. Chapter 5

****unBETA'd****

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

When I first asked Jacob out, it was for all the wrong reasons. I was mad at Edward and wanted to do something drastic. I had planned on apologizing to Edward. He had no idea why I had been so hostile, sure, he probably expected me to be mad, but not _that_ mad. But then I heard him telling his story to Emmett, I stopped caring about how hostile I was. If hearing how Edward had gotten a blow job instead of hanging out with me made me want to vomit, hearing _who_ he got it from made me want to die.

Tanya _fucking _Denali was the worst person you could ever meet, and I hated her with everything that I had. For some reason, when she moved here last year, she made it her life's mission to torture me. She just took an instant disliking towards me for no apparent reason what so ever. I never did anything to this girl, and she lived to make my life a living hell.

And Edward was with her last night instead of me.

I was back to my original plan, I was moving on from Edward. So I took the plunge that would kick start my new life and asked Jacob out.

When I asked him, Jacob's eyes went wide and he stuttered a yes right before Alice squealed in delight. I followed him outside without giving Edward a second glance. I was moving on. It was later on that night when Edward finally spoke to me. Jacob had left about an hour before after getting a phone call from his dad asking him to come home for the tribe's gathering. I told him I would call him later since I was sleeping over at Alice's to discuss our date. The smile on his face was the biggest I had ever seen.

I was sitting at the edge of the pool watching Jasper and Emmett wrestle when Edward approached me.

"Are you really going to go out with that dog?" Edward asked as he sat down next to me, putting his legs in the water as well.

I looked over at him and had to fight to keep my eyes on his. He looked completely delicious in his swim trunks and no shirt.

_Stop!_

I was mad at him. I had to keep reminding myself that.

"Are these really the first words you're going to say to me all night?" I threw back at him.

"I tried to talk to you!" Edward cried out. "You were ignoring me."

I shrugged my shoulders and looked back out towards the pool. That was the idea. Keep my eyes off of Edward Cullen so I wouldn't drool over his perfect body.

"Come on, love…" Edward started as I squeezed my eyes shut. Did he have to continue to call me that? "Don't be mad at me anymore. I said I was sorry."

I rolled my eyes. Yeah because saying you're sorry was going to make up for all the times you broke my heart. But he didn't know that.

I looked back over at him. He did look sorry. I pressed my lips together.

"I believe you're sorry, I do. It's just it's not the first time you've done that, Edward. You've ditched me to go screw some girl plenty of times." I explained to him.

"I didn't screw anyone," Edward whispered as he looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to us.

I raised my eyebrow. He didn't know I knew about the blowjob. I had walked away when I couldn't hear anymore and was downstairs before he and Emmett even got out of the room.

"Then what happened?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Edward let out huff and looked towards everyone in the pool.

"Nothing," he said as he scratched the back of his neck. "Met a girl, we talked and made out a little. But, as soon as we made it back to her house, I remembered about you and left."

My jaw locked and I had to contain my anger. He met a _girl?_ He couldn't even tell me it was Tanya.

He was lying to me. Edward was lying to me. I let a humorless laugh and shook my head.

"To answer your question, yes I really am going out with him. Why? Because he asked me and I finally realized I should say yes." I said before jumping into the pool and swimming away.

It wasn't until later when I snuck off into the house with Rosalie that I got to finally vent.

"He lied to me! Can you believe that? Right to my face! It makes me wonder what else he's lied about, ya know?"

Rosalie nodded her head as she mixed up something in the Cullen's cocktail mixer. I didn't know what it was; I was too busy fuming over Edward lying.

"He's an ass, babe. You know this. Plus he probably caught some kind of disease from that slut, who knows where her mouth has been"

I shivered. That was very true.

"But I'm really glad you asked Jacob out," Rosalie said as she poured her mix into two small shot glasses.

"Is everyone hopping on the Team Jacob band wagon?" I whispered as two kids walked through the kitchen and outside towards the pool.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Jacob is hot, Bella. Everyone realizes this but you because you're too hung up on Cockward. And he's had the hots for you ever since he's realized he has a dick. I don't see why you don't give him a chance."

When Rosalie was done with her little rant, she picked up the two shot glasses and handed one to me. I lifted my eyebrow at her in question and she just pushed my hand towards my face.

"You need to loosen up, you've had a tough day," she answered before tapping her glass with me and downing it at the same time I did.

The liquor went down smooth and tasted amazing. Rosalie was always good at making her own little inventions that tasted delicious and got you drunk.

"And," Rosalie started as she grabbed my shot glass and hers and started to fill them up again. "Your brother is happy about it, too. He hates seeing you so upset about shit head. He practically started humping my leg he was so excited."

I scrunched my face together and screwed my eyes shut. "Gah, Rose! T.M.I. seriously! I did NOT need to know that."

Rosalie just shrugged her shoulders and handed me another shot. We took the second shot and it went down just as smooth as the first.

"Either way, I think it's good. I think you'll have fun with Jacob. You _have_ to tell me how the kiss is. He seems like he would be a good kisser."

I scrunched my face together again. It wasn't that I was disgusted at the thought of kissing Jacob; it was that kissing Jacob to me would be like kissing Emmett, and that was just wrong. Rosalie went to hand me another shot but before I could even protest Alice walked in.

"Are you bitches in here doing shots without me?" she cried out.

"No! This is our first one! Come do one!" Rosalie said as she smirked at me before turning back to fill up another shot glass.

Bitch.

Now I _had_ to do another one. Alice rushed over and grabbed the shot glass. Right before I brought it to my lips, Alice stopped me.

"Wait! What are we toasting to?"

I shrugged my shoulders while Rosalie cocked her head to think. Seconds later, we heard the kitchen door open and watched as Edward and Jasper walked in. I cursed my own body for reacting the way it always did and also tried to remind it that we were working to get _over_ him now. Edward and I made eye contact as Jasper walked towards the hallway and I almost melted when I saw the sexy smile he gave me.

"Oh! I know!" Rosalie cried out causing me to break away from Edward's stare. "Let's celebrate to Bella _finally _saying yes to Jacob I-want-to-do-it-doggy-style-with-you Black!"

My mouth fell open as Alice giggled uncontrollably and agreed. I looked over at Edward and saw a look I couldn't quite understand. His face was hard as stone and his fists were clenched at his sides. But I looked back towards the girls and moved Edward from my mind.

"Bottoms up!" I said before downing the shot with my girlfriends, completely ignoring Edward.

I didn't care about him anymore. Right?

**EPOV**

When Bella asked Jacob _fucking _Black out, I swore I was fucking dead. Then of course he said fucking yes while stuttering and blushing.

Pussy.

Then, when Bella told me why she was going out with him, I got even more pissed. She fucking just swam away from me like it was nothing. Clearly she was still pissed about the night before, but I spared her the truth, so, what the fuck? Why was I still getting the cold shoulder? But even all that didn't piss me off the most. When I walked in on the girls doing shots, I couldn't help the smile I gave to Bella. It was like just the sight of her washed all my anger away. That was until I heard Rosalie say what they were toasting to.

"_Let's celebrate to Bella finally saying yes to Jacob I-want-to-do-it-doggy-style-with-you Black!"_

Fucking bitch.

I'll be damned if that mongrel ever puts his paws on my Bella. I'll fucking kill him first. The girls just giggled, did their shot, and walked out the back door. And I didn't even get a second glance from Bella. I let out a snort.

Fuck this.

I walked over the fridge and grabbed a beer. If Bella wanted to ignore me, then I could play that game. I didn't owe her anything and didn't deserve to be treated the way I was. I was supposed to be her best friend. I chugged the beer in one gulp before throwing the empty can away and grabbing another. I needed to get wasted.

By eleven o'clock, all plans on getting wasted were out the window. Alice was completely drunk by seven and she had to be taken to bed by Jasper, so I had to stay sober and watch the house. It wasn't like I didn't trust the people that were there, and if I had gotten drunk, Emmett or someone would watch it in my place, but more so that Bella was also drunk. I knew Bella was drunk because she was dancing. Bella _never_ danced; yet she was out there dancing by the pool with Rosalie, looking like she was having the time of her life. She still hadn't said two words to me and I hated every second of it. Usually by now Bella and I would be hidden upstairs in my room, watching a horror movie, while everyone else got plastered. Or if we were drunk, we were drunk together.

"Hello, Edward."

I looked over to see a buzzed Jessica Stanley sitting down on the beach chair next to me. I almost laughed as she crossed her legs and stuck out her chest that was barely covered by her too small bikini top.

"What's up?" I replied as I rolled my eyes and looked away.

"Nothing, just getting drunk," she said with an annoying giggle. "What are you up to?"

I held up my beer to signal to her I was trying to do the same thing. She smiled and flipped her hair, causing more of her boobs to show. I cursed at myself for looking at her chest, because once she realized it, she smiled and stuck them out more. I made the mistake of letting Jessica give me a hand job one day after football practice, and she has been trying to warm her way into my life, and pants, ever since.

"Why don't we go upstairs?" Jessica asked as she put her hand on my thigh and began to rub it back and forth. "I could give you a… back rub"

I looked down at her hand on my thigh and almost took her up on that offer. If she continued to rub like that, my dick would get hard and she was very willing. But when I looked back up across the pool, I saw Mike Newtown grinding against Bella as she tried to push him away.

"Thanks, but no thanks," I mumbled to Jessica as I stood up and headed over towards them. When I got there Emmett had already shoved Mike away as Rosalie was yelling at him.

"She said no, pencil dick!" Rosalie screamed. "What part of that do you not understand?"

"I was jusht trying to dancsh wifh her," Mike slurred.

"When my sister says she doesn't want to dance, Mike, that means she doesn't want to dance," Emmett warned with a threatening tone.

"Hey, you ok?" I whispered in Bella's ear as I put my hand on her back.

She looked up at me with a sad look and nodded her head before leaning into my chest. I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back.

"Ok, ok." Mike said as he held up his hands and swayed. "I got you, I get you, we're goods."

I rolled my eyes at his drunkenness and was just about to tell him he was flagged when Ben and Angela walked up and said they would take him home.

"I have to be home soon, anyway," Angela said with a shrug.

Ben and Angela never drank when they came to parties, so they always were the designated drivers. I couldn't tell you how many times I had to call Ben up to come pick me up because I couldn't drive home. They were good friends.

They said goodbye to all of us before taking Mike and leaving my house.

"Are you ok, Bells?" Emmett asked as he walked up to us, he was not nearly as drunk as Rosalie and Bella.

"Yeah," She mumbled into my chest. "He was just being handsy."

I threw a glare in Mike's direction, even though he wasn't there anymore. The only thing that was keeping me from running after him was Bella's arms around my waist. She swayed a bit in my arms and I looked down at her concerned.

"Are you ok?" I asked while she closed her eyes.

She shook her head. "I don't feel so good."

"You've had a lot to drink," Rosalie responded as she draped herself on Emmett's arm.

"Bells, why don't you go to bed?" Emmett suggested.

Bella shook her head and I asked her why.

"I think my feet are broken," she mumbled.

We all chuckled at her before I picked her up bridal style and started moving towards the house after I threw a look towards Emmett that said take care of everything. He gave me a nod and turned back towards Rosalie. Bella put her head on my shoulder and sighed.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To bed, you've had too much to drink," I said as I pushed passed kids and made my way into the house.

Bella lifted her head and tried to give me a stern look, which ended up being the most adorable thing I had ever seen. "I think you're drunk!"

I laughed and nodded. "Yes, I'm drunk and you're actually the one carrying me upstairs to bed."

"Damn, skippy," Bella said with a smile before laying her head back on my shoulder.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Where are you sleeping?" I asked her as we reached the top of the steps.

Bella lifted her head and looked around with glassy eyes. "Erm… on the couch."

"You are _not_ sleeping on the couch!" I protested.

Bella started to shake her head. "I can't sleep with Alice. Jasper is here. Plus, your sister has been throwing up for hours. I'm not going anywhere _near_ that!"

I shook my head and laughed as I readjusted her in my arms and made my way to my bedroom. I laid Bella down on my bed and moved to take off her shoes.

"Where are you sleeping?" Bella asked quietly.

"Right here," I said as I pulled the covers of her. "If my best friend's ok with that."

Bella looked up at me with a look that confused me. If she hadn't been drinking, and her eyes weren't glassy before, I would have sworn she had tears in her eyes.

Bella swallowed and smiled. "Your best friend's fine with that."

I ran down and grabbed her a glass of water and two Advil before getting into bed myself. I fell asleep quickly, like I always did when Bella was in my bed. It was like I was naturally more comfortable because she was there. I don't know what time it was when I rolled over to find Bella awake and staring at me. Her eyes were big and shining, and the smile on her face was small, but beautiful. I had the sudden urge to kiss her. And that was exactly what I did. Her lips felt amazingly soft and warm. I moaned as I felt her tongue swipe across my lips, asking for entrance. Bella moaned while our tongues met and I rolled over on top of her. My dick started to get hard as she wrapped her legs around my waist and grinded her hot center onto my straining dick.

"Oh, fuck, Bella," I moaned as I moved my lips down her neck and began kissing and sucking on it.

The noises coming from Bella only turned me on even more, as I pressed harder against her. She moved her hands under my tank top and moved to take it off. I pulled away from her long enough to throw my tank top to the ground and watch as she took off her own shirt. I moaned in pleasure when I saw her black lace bra and cupped them both in my hands before taking her lace-covered nipple into my mouth. Bella arched her back off the bed and moaned loudly. I ripped her white shorts off along with her black thong. I moved my fingers down and slammed two into her wet center.

"Oh, god!" Bella cried out before I covered her mouth with my own.

I almost came when I felt how wet and ready she was for me. I had never felt anything so tight in my life.

"Edward, I need you!" Bella moaned as she pushed my pajama pants down my legs.

I hummed in pleasure as my dick was let out of its restraints. I moved my mouth to her ear and whispered to her.

"Bella, I want you so much. I always want you," I sucked on her ear. "I love you."

She moaned as I took a hold of my dick and lined it at her opening.

"Edward, wake up," Bella whispered into my ear. I looked back at her, confused. "Edward!"

My eyes snapped open to see Bella leaning over me shaking my shoulder. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was, before looking back at her.

"Are you ok?" Bella asked with a look of concern on her face.

Once I realized where I was, and that I had been dreaming, I nodded. "Ugh, yeah, why? What's wrong?" I asked as I casually moved my hand down to try and hide my boner.

"You kept moving around and saying my name in your sleep," Bella explained and my eyes went wide. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Ugh," I let out a little cough and ran my hand through my hair. "You were, ugh, fighting… vampires. I was trying to save you."

She looked at me, amused. "Vampires?"

I let out an uncomfortable laugh and nodded my head. "Yeah. Weird, huh?"

Bella laughed and nodded before getting out of my bed. I sat up quickly and bunched the covers up so that my dick wasn't so noticeable.

"What time is it?" I asked as I watched her slip on her flats. She seemed to be moving really fast for some reason.

"About ten."

"Why are you in such a rush? What's the matter?" I started to get concerned. What if I said something in my sleep other than her name?

"I'm just hungry," she put her hair up in a bun on top of her head. "I'm going to head down and cook some breakfast for everyone."

I didn't say anything while she walked towards my bedroom door. Bella stopped before turning around and looking at me.

"Thanks for letting me sleep in here last night," she said softly. "I really appreciate it."

I just nodded and said, "That's what friends are for."

She gave me a small smile before turning and walking out of the room. I let out a huff and put my head in my hands.

I just had a hot, steamy, sex dream about my best friend.

I laid back on my bed with a groan.

Fuck. My. Life.

I removed my hands from my eyes and willed my erection to go away. I even thought about Emmett in a thong and it didn't help. Morning wood was a real bitch. I stared up at the ceiling as I thought back on the past twenty four hours. Bella didn't seem mad at me anymore, which was a good thing, but her asking that dog out didn't sit right with me.

I tried to tell myself that it was just because it was him, but I knew that was a lie. Even if it had been some random guy on the street I wouldn't like it. There was no one out there good enough for Bella. I had always known that the time would come where Bella would start to date and I knew I'd be right there beside Emmett to scare the shit out of the fucker, but I wasn't prepared for the ache in my chest when it happened.

I let out a breath and chalked it up to it just being because it was Jacob _fucking _Black. Why did it have to be him? Bella could have any guy she wanted. She was beyond gorgeous. Her hair was always so soft and she always smelled fantastically good. Her lips were plump and her tits, fuck, they were beautiful. She rarely wore tight and revealing clothing, but when she did, I couldn't help but notice her tits.

I was a guy after all.

My mind went back to the pool party last night. I remember watching her as she climbed up the steps of the pool to get out. Only now, in my mind, it was completely different. The only way I could describe it with a perfection description is from the scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. You know what one I'm talking about? Where Phoebe Cates gets out of the pool in slow motion?

Fuck.

I hadn't even realized I had been palming my still hard cock until I was pushing my boxers down my hips. I hesitated for just a second before I gripped my cock tight. I imagined Bella unhooking her bikini just like in the movie and moaned at the sight of her tits. She walked up to me and kissed me. My hands immediately began to palm her breasts as her hand made its way into my swim shorts. I gripped my cock tighter, imagining it was Bella's hand. I kissed my way down her neck as she moaned out in pleasure.

"Edward," she moaned. "I want you"

I picked her up and laid her down on one of our beach chairs, kissing my way down to her breasts. I flicked my tongue over her hard nipple before sucking it into my mouth. Bella's nails racked over my back as she arched her back in pleasure.

"Fuck, Bella," I moaned as I moved to her other tit. "Your tits are so beautiful"

She answered me with a moan which caused me to grip and suck them harder. My cock was so hard and I wanted nothing more to put it between her beautiful tits.

"Fuck my tits, Edward" Bella moaned and I almost came undone.

I stood up and yanked my swim shorts down quickly before straddling her body. Bella lay there, panting, which cause her tits to jiggle. I put my cock in between her valley and she squeezed them together. Bella and I moaned at the same time. It was so warm and her tit's felt amazing wrapped around my cock.

"Shit, your tits feel so good," I whispered as I rocked my hips back and forth.

Bella watched in fascination as my cock poked in and out from the top. She licked her lips and I felt my balls tighten.

"I'm going to cum," I groaned as I covered her hands with my own, making her grip me harder.

I pumped my hips harder, fucking her tits without hesitation.

"Do it for me, Edward, I want you to" Bella moaned.

I exploded with a loud groan and Bella's name on my lips. I laid there panting, my heart racing and my stomach covered in my own cum. I opened my eyes and looked around, realizing I just jerked off to a fantasy of me fucking my best friends' tits.

I was so fucked.


	6. Chapter 6

****unBETA'd****

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Before I even opened my eyes, I knew I wanted to die. My head was pounding and my mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls. But the worst was when I finally did open my eyes. The minimal light in the room seemed as bright as the sun and made my head pound even harder. I brought my hands up to my head in an attempt to stop the pain, but it didn't work. I jumped slightly when I felt movement beside me. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Edward a sleep a few inches next to me. It all came back to me; Edward carrying me up to his room and asking if it was ok if he slept in the bed with me. He had called me his best friend and I had to fight the tears that formed in my eyes that wanted to spill.

Best friends.

That's all we would ever be. I don't know why I was so upset. I came to this realization a while ago; I was going out with Jacob because of this. I shook my head of all sad thoughts and began to sit up when Edward started moaning in his sleep. He stopped for a couple seconds before he started again while moving around in a weird way.

"Edward?" I asked softly.

He continued to make weird noises and move around. My eyes went wide when I heard my name come from his lips.

"Edward," I said a little more loudly but it didn't even affect him.

"Mmm, Bella," he moaned.

My brows came together in confusion. What the hell was he dreaming about? I started to shake his shoulder.

"Edward, wake up!" He moaned and moved his head to the side. "Edward!"

Edward's eyes shot open, as he looked around, confused. I asked him if he was all right and what he was dreaming about. He seemed so out of it. I had to laugh when he said it was about me fighting vampires. But when Edward laughed, I remembered I had to get out of there. I quickly jumped up, ignoring my headache, and put on my shoes. I couldn't lie there any longer. I cursed when he asked why I was in such a rush. I didn't want him to know I was. I started to put my hair up and made up some excuse about being hungry and rushed to the door. But I stopped. I took a deep breath and turned around to look at him.

"Thanks for letting me sleep in here last night," I said softly. "I really appreciate it."

Edward nodded and said, "That's what friends are for."

I gave him a small smile before turning and walking out of the room.

Friends.

I hated myself for how much that word still hurt.

I went down and made breakfast for everyone, but when Edward came down and smiled at me, I had the sudden urge to run and hide. And that was exactly what I did. I made up some excuse about having to go home to help Charlie with something and asked Alice to drive me home before Edward could even offer. The hurt look on his face didn't go unnoticed, he was always the one that drove me home if I didn't have my car, but I just couldn't sit alone in a car with him. I was already trying to fight off tears that were threatening to spill with Alice in the car, who knows what would have happened if I let Edward drive me home. Alice was going off about school the next day, but I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy over thinking everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. I didn't know why I had gotten so drunk the night before. No, I knew why I did I was just regretting it. Because waking up next to Edward was not helping 'Project: Move on' one bit.

"Bella, are you even listening to me?" Alice asked, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Um, yeah," I started. "Of course."

"Then what did I just say?" she challenged and I knew I was caught.

"Erm," I tried to think of what she was just saying but was coming up blank.

My phone started ringing, saving me from Alice's question. I smiled when I saw the name flash across the screen.

"Hey Jake!" Alice's annoyed face turned into a huge grin, which I had to roll my eyes at.

"Hey! What happened? You said you were going to call me last night?"

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. "I'm really sorry, I didn't forget. I just well… sort of forgot. Blame Rose, she made shots."

I heard Jacob's laughter on the other line and my smile returned.

"So, I guess you got pretty wasted?"

"Only to the point where I had to be carried to bed," I said with a chuckle.

"Way to go, Bells," Jake said with a chuckle. After a couple seconds of silence, he asked hesitantly, "Wh…who carried you?"

I bit my lip. "Um, Emmett. Emmett carried me up to bed."

I saw Alice roll her eyes and shake her head from the corner of my eyes. Jacob seemed more relaxed after I told him that. Of course Jacob knew my feelings for Edward, everyone did. But I didn't like to rub them in his face.

We continued to talk for another minute before I said, "Well, hey Jake, Alice is driving me home. Can I give you a call when I get to my house?"

"Sure, sure. I was actually calling to see if you still wanted to, you know, go out… tonight. On the um, you know, the date," I had to hold back my giggle. Jacob sounded so cute when he was nervous.

"Yeah I do! When do you want to go out?"

"Really? Yeah, I mean, Ok! I was, um, actually thinking tonight? Is tonight ok with you? I mean, I know we have school tomorrow, but we won't be out too late and I think…"

"Jake!" I called out, interrupting him. "Tonight's fine. Just tell me what time to be ready."

He told me to be ready by eight and we hung up the phone. When I looked over at Alice, she was practically vibrating in her seat. My eyes went wide and I started to shake my head.

"No way! No, Alice, Jasper is back at your house you have to go back there!"

"I don't _have_ to do anything! Emmett and Edward will keep Jasper company! Oh, Bella! I'm so excited! I get to help you set up for your first date! I have all these cute outfit ideas, and cute shoes! We should go back to my house so I can get some heels!"

"No heels!" I interrupted her. "And no dresses, or skirts or anything like that! We're going to see Monster Trucks; I do _not_ need to get that dressed up for Monster Trucks."

Alice looked over at me in pure horror. "_Monster Trucks? _Please tell me you're not serious?"

"I happen to like Monster Trucks, thank you!"

Alice shook her head as she pulled up to my house. "Whatever, I guess I'll work with it," she stated before getting out of the car and walking towards my house.

Later that night I found myself excited for my date with Jacob and also a little nervous. I had finally kicked Alice out when she tried to get me to wear heels with my jeans. She didn't approve of my outfit, but I thought I looked fine and thought Jacob would like it too. I was wearing black flats with blue destroy faded jeans and a black Johnny Cash t-shirt. My makeup was light and my hair was down in waves. I looked fine. Besides, it was just Jacob.

Turns out, I had nothing to be nervous about. Our date was amazing and a lot of fun. It was easy to be myself with Jacob and he was easy to have fun with. We ate hot dogs, watched the Monster Trucks, I even let him buy me a "Grave Digger" flag to hang up in my room. On the way home we talked about going back to school and how the summer had gone by entirely too fast. It was nice. I almost didn't think about Edward at all.

Almost.

When we pulled up in front of my house, a lump formed in my throat. This was the famous "kiss or not kiss" moment. I quickly got out of Jacob's car and we both walked to my front door in complete silence.

"So, Jake… tonight was great. Thank you," I said with a smile.

Jacob nodded his head and looked to the ground. I knew he was thinking the same thing as me, but the difference was I wasn't sure if I wanted to kiss him, but I knew he was pretty sure he wanted to kiss me.

"So, Bella, maybe… if it's okay with you… I was thinking we could…" Jacob stumbled, as we awkwardly stood there under my porch light.

Normally this type of behavior would annoy me, even with Jake. Surprisingly I couldn't help but feel a little excited at the thought that I, for once, was making someone else nervous. I wasn't the one stumbling over words, or feeling butterflies in my stomach, or hell even getting sweaty palms; which Jake obviously had with the way he kept wiping his hands over his pants.

"Jacob, are you trying to ask me out again?" I smirked, cutting him off from him rambling.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Trying and failing," he laughed.

Not wanting to crush Jacob's hopes, but also not wanting to lead him on either, I extended my hand and smiled. "How about I'll call you the next time I'm free?"

He looked down at my hand and laughed. "You want to shake hands?"

I looked down at my hand and then looked back up at him confused. "Is this not how friends say goodbye?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "No," he whispered, taking a step forward and wrapping his warm arms around me. "This is how friends say _goodnight_."

I tensed up slightly at his boldness. It wasn't like I've never hugged Jacob before, but this didn't feel like a normal hug. I kept my hands in a safe area, leaving them to rest on his shoulders, as he softly squeezed a little tighter. I rested my cheek against his shoulder and smiled when I felt him smell my hair. I'm not going to lie, it felt nice. Jacob was strong, sweet, and gentle… but he wasn't Edward.

"Goodnight, Jacob," I whispered, for some reason, while pulling away from him slowly. "I'll call you later."

"Bella, I…" he started, still not removing his hands from me.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just… I…" he pushed, his eyes looking so pained.

"Jake, what is it?" I smiled, hoping he knew he could tell me anything.

He slowly lifted his hand and cupped my right cheek, and then his left came up, mirroring its pair. He looked deep in my eyes and suddenly Jacob was kissing me.

Jacob was _kissing_ me.

Jacob's lips were on mine. This was not how I pictured my night to end. Nowhere in the plan did it state 'Ruff Jacob lip's to be pressed against mine.' Ruff… was an understatement. Chapped was more like it. I was almost contemplating pulling my chap stick out of my pocket and handing it over as a favor. I was going to pull away until I felt him open his mouth, and lightly touch my bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. A normal girl would pull away and slap this man, a normal girl would knee him in the junk, a normal girl would say stop, but I wasn't normal.

For some reason I opened my mouth, inhaled the warm aroma of his breath and sent, and invited him in.

His tongue was warm and tender, as it carefully caressed with mine. I let my hands travel up to the nap of his neck, while I felt his pull me closer to him. I didn't have feelings for Jacob, not like the kind I had for Edward, but damn… I'll give Jacob this. He was a great kisser. He pulled away slowly, both of us breathing hard into each other's faces, and smiled at me.

"Call me?" he whispered. My eyes were still closed, and my heart was pounding in my chest, so all I seemed to manage was a slight nod of the head. "Promise," he whispered, again. I nodded my head again, feeling my cheeks warm over with his breath. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against my lips. "Night, Bella."

"Night, Jake."

When I finally had enough courage to open my eyes, Jacob was already in his car and pulling away. I stood there, frozen, unsure of what really happened. I lifted my fingers to my lips and felt my heart sink at the still warm feeling that Jacob left behind. I rushed into the house and up to my room quickly, throwing myself onto the bed as my door shut behind me.

_What have I done? This was not how it was supposed to happen? Right? _

With tears in my eyes I pulled out my cell phone and texted Alice.

He kissed me… - B

Not even ten seconds later I got a reply.

OMG! - A

_**I kissed him back – B**_

_**OMFG! - A**_

_**And now I don't know what to do. - B**_

_**Stock up on Scope? - A**_

I groaned at her failed attempted to make me feel better. I was more than confident that she knew how I was feeling, but the last thing I needed was to joke about it.

_**I'm serious! - B**_

**_So am I! Jacob is hot. Bella + Jake + smooch fest = GOOD TIMES!_ _- A_**

Was she serious? What next… lanyard bracelets with B+J on them? I sighed and leaned my head back against the headboard, hitting reply.

_**But I don't like Jacob that way. - B**_

_**You can't wait for him forever. A girl's gotta have fun too - A**_

I knew Alice was right, and knowing me I would wait forever, but I didn't want to drag Jacob into it. That wouldn't be fair. My phone went off again and I rolled my eyes at the thought of what Alice's new mathematical B+J innuendos could equal out to this time. But that wasn't the case. I hit open and bit my lip to hold back the tears that started to brim my eyes.

Night Bella. Missed you tonight - E

I took a steady breath and hit reply.

_**Me too… Goodnight - B**_


	7. Chapter 7

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**you know the deal, i own nothing :(**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"So, are you nervous?" I heard Alice ask as moved around my room, looking for every piece of art that I had ever made.

"To be honest, I haven't really thought about it. I've been so busy trying to get everything together, that I haven't had time to think about how nervous I am," I said into the phone as I threw one of my many drawing pads onto my bed.

About two weeks ago, I had signed up for the Fork's Art Show and it started this Friday. It ran for three months and anyone could choose to be in any of the shows. I'm sure if I had stopped to think about how nervous I actually was, I would have probably had a panic attack. But I didn't have time for that. I had to pick ten pieces to be in the art show, and I had only two pieces picked out.

"Well, that's good. Is Jacob taking driving you to the Art Show?"

I smiled at his name. Jacob and I had been officially dating for a little over a month and things had been going great. He was sweet, and caring, and the most amazing boyfriend anyone could ask for. I should have been happier than I could have imagined, but I wasn't. Don't get me wrong; I was happy, but not as happy as I should have been. There was someone that was still in the back of my mind, someone that I tried to let go, but wouldn't leave, that was haunting me none stop.

"Um, no. He has to work that night."

"He's working?" Alice screeched through the phone causing me to pull it away from my ear.

"Yes, Sam asked him to work a double at the shop. He tried to get out of it but I told him to work. It's not worth getting fired over." I explained as I looked around my room.

"Wait, so how are you getting to the Art Show since your dad has to work, too? Do you need a ride?"

"Actually, I asked your brother to take me," I whispered while biting my lip.

"Oh," Alice's surprised tone did not go unnoticed to me. "Really?"

Edward and I had barely talked since the day after their big pool party, there had only been random texts here and there and short, awkward conversations with each other when we saw one another. I just couldn't get over all the lies he told me. Ok, maybe it was just one lie, but that made me think, how many more times had he lied to me? How many times had I believed everything he told me, when in return it was just a lie? Plus, every time Jacob was around, Edward had this look on his face like he wanted kill someone and he always had something smart to say. It got on my nerves. Jacob was now my boyfriend, if he couldn't handle that, then he couldn't be around me.

I would have been lying if I said it didn't hurt. I wanted to have Edward in my life more than anything, and as much as I hated to admit it, I still loved him very much. It was only late at night when the weight of my feelings for Edward hit me full force. During the day, I was a real solider, sometimes, I even fooled myself.

"Yeah, we haven't hung out in a while, I thought that maybe some alone time would be good for us. We're supposed to grab something to eat before" I explained as a drawing pad on the top of my bookshelf caught my eye.

"Do you think that is... smart?" Alice asked her voice filled with concern.

"Why wouldn't it be?" I asked as I dragged my stepping stool over to the bookshelf and stepped on it to retrieve the drawing pad.

"Hi denial, my name is Alice; it's nice to meet you!"

I rolled my eyes as I reached up, having to stand on my tippy toes, even with the stool, to grab the hidden drawing pad.

"I don't know what you're talking…." I was cut off when a mound of papers came crashing down on top of me. I let out a scream of surprise and covered my head.

"Bella? Is everything ok? What happened?" I heard Alice yell from the other end of the phone as I brought it back to my ear.

I looked up at the shelf to make sure nothing else would attack me and said, "I'm ok. I just had a bunch of papers fall on top of me, it surprised me is all."

Alice started laughing which caused me to chuckle.

"You got attacked by papers? Only you Bella!" Alice said in between laughs.

I laughed along with her until I looked at the floor and saw what papers had attacked me. Loitering my floor was now pictures of Edward that I had drawn over the last couple years. Surprisingly, I had forgotten about my little stash away because I had been too busy trying to forget about Edward.

"Yeah," I started. "Papers."

One drawing in particular caught my eye and causing me to quickly get off the phone with Alice, saying I had to get my choices picked or I would never be in the show. I had used colored pastels to draw it. His unruly bronze hair was beautiful and the shadows in his face were all perfectly placed. It was one of my favorite ones I had done. It was absolutely perfect and I knew I wanted it in my show. But how could I put it in there? Edward would be at the show and wonder why I had drawn a picture of him.

_Explain it to him. _

The voice in my head sounded ridiculous at first but then started to make sense. It was just a drawing. It didn't mean anything. I could just explain to him that it was meant to be a present. I bit my lip and smiled as I picked up the drawing. I quickly added it to my 'show' pile before I ran to grab all of the other drawings of Edward I had.

"Bells! You home?" I heard Emmett yell from downstairs and my eyes went wide.

My brother knew about my feelings for his friend, but didn't need to see how obsessed I had been. I opened up my closet door and started to quickly shove all of my 'Edward' drawings inside.

"Ugh, yeah! I'm in my room!" I answered while I frantically disposed of all the drawings.

I slammed my closet shut not one second before Emmett opened my bedroom door.

"Hey, why don't you take a break and come watch a movie with me? I got wings!" Emmett exclaimed with a big smile that showed off his dimples.

I let out a laugh and nodded my head. "Sure, Em. That sounds great."

"Really?" Emmett answered, surprised. "Nice!"

I moved a piece of hair out of my face and followed my brother down into the living room, forgetting all about the stash of drawings that were now safely hidden.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I sat back in my desk bored as hell. Rolling my pencil back and forth had become boring so I now settled for taping it.

"Ok, Mr. Cullen. You're free to go," Mr. Banner announced with a sigh. "Just remember, next time, there are no throwing things in my class, even if it is a free period."

I was up and out of my chair before I could even respond to him. No throwing things in class, ok. I was going to kick Emmett's ass. Of course, Emmett was the one that started it, but I was the one that got caught. I would have to figure out a way to get him back.

I stopped at my locker and grabbed the things I needed. When I grabbed my cell phone I noticed I had a text waiting for me.

**_Having fun at detention, creep? – B_**

I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed out to my car.

_**I'm going to kick your brother's ass. It was his entire fault. - E**_

I walked out to my car but stopped when I saw someone was leaning against it. I groaned and quickly thought of turning around and going back in the school until she left. The only reason I didn't was because I didn't feel like being at school anymore. I let out a huff and walked towards my destination.

When Tanya noticed me, her face lit up and she stood up. "Eddie! Want to do something today? I'm like, so bored."

I made a face. There was no way I wanted to spend any time with her at all. "Um, I'm busy," I mumbled as I opened my driver's side door.

I had girls that had been clingy before but Tanya was the worst. I never answered her calls, how she got my number was still a mystery, I never spoke to her first, and never answered any of her advances, but yet, she still tried. I might have taken her for a second go if she didn't act so desperate, but that wasn't happening anymore.

"How about this weekend then? I'd love to take you for a ride," Tanya said suggestively as she leaned down so I could see down her shirt.

Any other time I would take the opportunity to look, but she down right scared me.

"I'm busy. Cya Tanya," I quickly said before backing my car out of the parking spot and driving off.

I looked in my review mirror to see Tanya standing there with her arms crossed across her chest. I prayed that she finally go the hint but had a feeling she didn't. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and grabbed it.

_**Psh. I think you need to take some responsibility, Mr. Cullen. You didn't have to throw back! :p – B**_

I suddenly had the urge to see Bella. It had been so long since we hung out; I really was starting to miss her.

_**Note taken, Miss Swan. What are you doing? I wanna see my best friend. - E**_

I tapped my hands on the steering wheel as I waited for her to respond.

_**I'm watching a movie! Come on over! We have wings! - B**_

My whole body went tense. We? I did NOT want to go hang out with Bella and Jacob _fucking _Black. Why Bella was dating him was beyond me. When they first went out on their date, I didn't think too much of it. Sure, I was pissed, but Bella had no feelings for Jacob and had been turning him down for years and that wasn't going to change overnight. But then I started to get the brush off.

_Sorry, Jake and I are going to the movies. _

_I'm hanging down Jake's right now! What are you up to?_

_I'm on my way over now actually! Me and Jake are hanging out with your sister and Jasper._

Everything was her and Jake and I couldn't stand it. I had never questioned Bella on her relationship with Jacob, but the day I saw her Facebook relationship status change to in a relationship with him, I freaked. Bella was supposed to be my best friend, and when you get into a relationship with someone, you usually told your best friend. I raced over to her house and used my key to get into the door. What I saw still haunts me. There on the couch was my sweet and innocent, best friend, Bella, with that dog Jacob black on top of her. She jumped up in surprise, her lips swollen from kisses and I immediately felt the vomit rise in my throat. Even worse, I wanted to smack that smug look off of his fucking face. I hated that kid and he was changing Bella. She swore nothing was different, but I could tell that it was. We hardly talked anymore and I barely saw her. She was always with that dog and I'd be damned if I even pretended that I could stand him.

I looked down when my phone vibrated again.

_**We as in Emmett and me. Get over here now or be disowned! – B**_

I suddenly relaxed.

_**On my way mistress- E**_

_**You're such a perv! Lol – B**_

I laughed at her text and concentrated on making my way over there. I was beyond excited. I was actually going to see Bella alone. Well, Emmett would be there, but her dog of a boyfriend wouldn't be around.

I pulled into the Swan's driveway and jumped out of the car. When I walked into the house, I chuckled when I heard the argument going on.

"I don't want to watch Gia!" Bella exclaimed.

"It's an AMAZING movie though!" Emmett yelled.

Bella let out a huff and crossed her arms. "You only think it's an amazing movie because there's a full frontal of Angelina Jolie!"

"Bella, that's the definition of amazing! Come on! Rosie never lets me watch it!"

Bella shook her head. "No! I'll watch anything else, but not that! I'm not in the mood for it today, Em."

Emmett was going to protest more when he noticed me. "Eddie, man, come on! Back me up here!"

Bella snapped her head back and saw me standing there. A beautiful smile came to her face as she gave me a little wave.

"Sorry, Em. No Gia." I said as I shook my head.

A satisfied smile came to Bella's face while Emmett looked crestfallen.

"How about we watch Paranormal Activity?" I asked with a smirk.

Bella's smile fell and her eyes went wide. Bella was so easily scared and she had been dodging every chance to watch that movie with me. Emmett's booming laughter rang out through the house as he clapped his hands.

"Paranormal Activity it is!"

A half an hour later, all the lights in the living room were off and Bella and I were on the couch while Emmett was laid on the recliner munching away on wings. Bella was grabbing onto my arm so hard, I was sure there were going to be indents by the time the movie was over. It was so cute how she let out a squeak of fear or hid her face in my shoulder when something was too scary for her.

Emmett screamed out which caused me to jump and Bella to scream. We both looked over at him to see him staring at the empty plate on the table that once held the wings.

"The wings are gone!" he cried out.

Bella and I both started cracking up. Emmett would be the person that would yell out cause of no more wings during a horror movie.

"There's more in the kitchen, Em. I put them in the fridge." Bella explained as she paused the movie.

Emmett put a hand over his heart and did a very dramatic sigh. "Oh thank god. I thought I was actually living in a horror movie there for a second."

Bella giggled and I shook my head at Emmett. There was something wrong with that kid. Emmett took the plate and bounced his way into the kitchen.

"Nervous about tomorrow, love?"

I watched as Bella closed her eyes for a half a second and a quick look flashed across her face that I didn't quite understand. It almost looked, painful. But all too quickly the look disappeared and she gave me a small smile and shrugged.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. But it really hasn't hit me. I've been so busy trying to get everything together that I think me being nervous has kind of gone on the back burner," she explained as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"You know everyone is going to love your work right?"

"Just like you know that everyone would love your work if you had signed up for it too, right?"

I clamped my mouth shut and leaned up to get some popcorn, completely ignoring what she had said. The only person I ever had the guts to sing in front of was Bella and my parents. Bella had tried to talk me into signing up with her when she found out about it, but I quickly refused.

Performance anxiety was a bitch.

"Getting scared?" I asked with a hint of humor as I motioned towards the screen, hoping she wouldn't call me out on my sudden change of topic.

Bella threw me a glare, knowing fully what I was doing, before looking back at the TV. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I chuckled and turned to face her on the couch. "I think my arm says different."

Bella rolled her eyes and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "Your arm is a woose."

Before I could answer, Emmett yelled from the kitchen, "Give me 10 minutes, guys, Rosie's calling!"

"My arms a what now?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Bella tried to hide the smile on her face as she stared at the paused movie but it was fighting its way through. I slowly moved my arm across the back of the couch so that she wouldn't see it. When I was finally at her back, I quickly poked her.

Bella yelped out a scream and jumped off the couch. I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and I had to clutch my stomach because it hurt.

"You should… have seen… your face!" I exclaimed loudly in between laughs.

Bella started to slap my shoulders and I put my hands up to block her as I laughed.

"Say you're sorry!" She exclaimed as she slapped me.

I continued to laugh and shook my head. "No way, that was priceless."

Bella jumped on top of me and it was on. We began to wrestle on the couch before rolling and falling onto the floor. I took her head in headlock and started to give her a noogie. She responded my grabbing my sides, knowing it was my ticklish spot. We rolled again and this time Bella was on top of me trying to pin my arms down.

"Say you're sorry, Cullen!" she laughed.

I sat up quickly, grabbed her by her waist and rolled back over on top of her. Both of us were laughing so hard that we never heard the door open and close. Just as I pinned her arms down, I felt someone grab the back of my shirt and lift me off of her. When I turned around to see who it was, I was met with a fist to my face.

"Keep your goddamn hands off of her!" Jacob yelled.

"Jake!" Bella screamed, scrambling to her feet just in time to see me close line Jacob to the ground.

I punched him square in the face twice before we started to wrestle for dominance.

"Guys, STOP!" Bella yelled trying to break us up, but I wasn't hearing it.

I saw red. How dare he come in a sucker punch me like that without even so much of a warning? I grabbed him by his shirt collar and punched him again. When I saw the blood come out of his nose, I was elated.

I let out a groan of pain when Jacob punched me in my stomach and hunched over. Jacob quickly got to his feet, picking me up with him. He pulled back for another punch but I ducked and punched him again in the face. I ran to attack him again but was stopped when Emmett appeared in between us.

"Edward, dude!" Emmett said as he put a hand on my chest.

"Get out of the way, Emmett," I hissed, but stood in my place.

"You were hurting her!" Jacob screamed as he walked up to Emmett's back.

"He wasn't hurting anyone! Edward, tell him!" Bella shouted.

"Might hurt you," I said I snapped.

"Please try," Jacob said with a sneer.

I let out a snort. "Some threat, you can barely stand."

It was true. Jacob was standing there looking like he would fall at any second. I wanted to scream for joy. Also, it was fucking hilarious.

"Fist feels ok," he mumbled.

I looked over at Bella. "You actually date this guy?"

"Enough!" Emmett's loud booming voice shouted.

Jacob and I both closed our mouths and stood there panting, staring at each other with complete hatred.

"What the hell do you think you two are doing?" Emmett asked looking back and forth between us.

"This fucker came in and attacked me!" I yelled.

"You were on top of MY GIRLFRIEND!" he shouted back.

"We were wrestling you fucking dog!"

"Shut up! Both of you!" Emmett screamed. "Can't you see what you're doing to my fucking sister?"

It was then my gaze snapped over to Bella and I got a good look at her. I immediately felt like a complete asshole. She was standing there with tears running down her face while she hugged her body.

"Bella…" I said softly and took a step towards her. She took a step back and I wanted the world to open up and swallow me up hole.

"She doesn't want to talk to _you, _dick!" Jacob hissed.

"And you think I want to talk to you?" Bella snapped at him. Jacob's face immediately fell and I held back my fist pump of joy.

"He was on top of you!" Jacob pleaded.

"We were wrestling!"

Jacob's face looked pained. He knew what we were doing and reacted like an asshole. "It was an accident, sweetie," he whispered.

Bella's face went hard. "Running your car into a tree is an accident! Running your fist into somebody's face is a plan!"

I kept my mouth shut. I knew the wrath of Bella and that look in her eyes told me it was for both of us, not just him.

"I want _both_ of you gone! Now!" Bella shouted before she ran upstairs to her room.

I flinched when I heard her door slam.

"You are _both_ in so much shit, I don't know where to start," Emmett hissed as he looked around his living room.

Furniture was knocked over, a lamp was broken, and popcorn was everywhere. Chief Swan was going to flip.

"He started it," I mumbled, well aware I sounded like a four year old.

Emmett threw me a death stare. "And you had to finish it right?"

I clamped my mouth shut and didn't say a word.

"Jacob, man, you need to get over this shit. Edward and Bella are friends. They wrestle all the time"

"How the fuck should I know that?" Jacob spat. "I walk in and he's on top of my girlfriend! I didn't know what to think!"

"So you start a fight in my house? What the fuck kind of logic is that?"

Jacob clenched his jaw and gave me a dirty look. I gave him an equal look back. I was ready for round two where ever and whenever.

"Jake, you need to leave, man," Emmett said with a sigh.

Jacob's face snapped towards Emmett's in shock.

"Are you fucking serious? I'm not going anywhere until I talk to my girlfriend!"

Emmett turns towards Jacob fully and takes a step closer to him.

"Were you not paying attention? She doesn't want to speak to you right now! And I'm not having my sister become more upset than she already is. Leave. Now." Emmett's tone was low and threatening.

Jacob blinked once and looked at me over Emmett's shoulder. I did nothing to hide my satisfied smirk. He finally huffed and slammed out the front door. When I heard the sound of his screeching tires, I knew he was finally gone.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, asshole. Clean up my living room and go home. You're not in the clear either," Emmett spat before heading up the stairs, no doubt to make sure Bella was ok.

I sighed and moved to clean up the mess that was made while trying to find a way to have Bella forgive me.


	8. Chapter 8

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**ahhhh i wish i owned these characters :(**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I wiped the steam off of the bathroom mirror from the shower and sighed. I had barely gotten any sleep the night before and felt completely exhausted. Jacob had called and texted non-stop and would not take a hint; I didn't want to talk to him. But he just kept on calling. I had voicemail after voicemail explaining that it wasn't his fault that he came to my honor, Edward was on top of me, and what else was he supposed to do.

I picked up my toothbrush and began to brush my teeth.

Jacob just didn't understand.

Edward, on the other hand, was a different story. I had received one text from him, and that was when I woke up. It simply read:

_**I'm really sorry you had to see that. It was wrong. I hope you can forgive me. Let me know if you still want me to drive you to your Art Show tonight -E**_

Though he apologized, I wasn't an idiot. He wasn't apologizing for it happening, he was apologizing for me having to see it. Edward and Jacob's hatred for each other wasn't unknown, but I had hoped they could have at least put it aside for me. I knew then that that would never happen.

I rinsed my mouth out and moved to my bedroom. I was slightly shocked to see Alice and Rosalie sitting on my bed.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked excitedly as she stood up and clapped her hands.

"Ready for what?" I asked confused as I put my toiletry bag down on my desk.

"I have the perfect outfit for you for tonight! And Rose is going to do your hair and makeup!"

I groaned as if I was in pain and slouched down on my recliner in the corner of my room. I had no energy to get dressed, let alone be a Barbie to Alice.

"Told you she wasn't going to like it," Rose mumbled as she flipped through a magazine.

"Shh," Alice said over her shoulder before turning to look at me. "We'll do all the work; all you have to do is sit there and be your beautiful self."

I looked up at Alice's smiling face then over at Rosalie. This wasn't a battle I was going to win. I let out a sigh and shrugged my shoulders. Alice's squeal was so loud, I was pretty sure the dog next door started to bark.

Twenty minutes later, I sat at my desk while Rosalie curled my hair and Alice painted my toenails.

"Is all of this really necessary?" I asked with a bored tone.

"It's your first Art Show! Of course!" Alice answered.

I looked at Rosalie in the mirror and had to keep from laughing as she rolled her eyes. A vibrating sound caught my attention and I looked down to see Alice look at her phone, roll her eyes, and hit the silent button.

Odd.

Her phone had rang four times in the past fifteen minutes and each time she had put it to voicemail.

"Trouble in paradise?" I asked softly.

"What?" Alice asked confused. I motioned to her phone. "Oh. No. It's not Jasper."

She didn't explain further and when I looked to Rosalie she just shrugged her shoulders. The vibrating started again and Alice let out a huff and picked it up.

"What?" she snapped into the phone.

Oh boy. Somebody had brought on the wrath of Alice and it wasn't pretty.

"Yes, where else would I be… No you can't… don't you think if she wanted to talk to you she would have called you by now?"

My whole body went tense. It definitely wasn't Jasper. It was Edward.

"I don't know… no I'm not asking…" Alice hissed.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. I couldn't ignore him forever. I motioned for Rosalie to stop and put my hand out towards Alice.

"Give me the phone, Alice," I whispered.

She looked up at me with a blank expression. "Are you sure?"

I gave a tight nod, afraid if I opened my mouth, I would change my mind. Alice handed me the phone and sat back on her heels.

"Do you want us to leave?" Rosalie asked from behind me.

I shook my head as I brought the phone to my ear.

"Yes, Edward?"

"Bella," he breathed. He sounded so relieved.

I didn't say anything. I just waited.

"How are you?" he asked softly.

"Peachy with a side of keen. You?" Rosalie snorted behind me and shook her head.

"Um, not to well," he mumbled.

I pressed my lips together and kept myself from making another smart remark.

"Bella, I'm really sorry about last night. I really want you to forgive me," he pleaded desperately over the phone and I almost wavered.

But that was the old Bella. The new Bella didn't bend to Edward Cullen anymore.

"I know. I got that text"

I heard Edward sigh on the other end and could picture him pulling at his beautiful bronzed hair.

"It wasn't my fault! _He_ attacked _me_, Bella!"

I clenched my jaw and sat straight up in my seat. "I didn't say it was your fault, but you had to continue it didn't you? You couldn't just let it go!"

"He sucker punched me! You expect me to let that shit go?"

I let out a dry laugh and shook my head. "God forbid! Don't want your tough guy reputation to be tarnished!"

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it," Edward hissed.

"Whatever, Edward. I'm still pissed. And not just at you, at both of you. You acted like children"

Edward let out a groan and said, "I'm sorry! How many more times do you want me to say it?"

"I don't want you to keep saying it. I want you to appreciate the fact that I need a little space. I don't want to fight with you, I just want some space," I explained.

"I guess this means you don't want me driving you to your Art Show?" he sounded like such a hurt little boy.

"Alice and Rosalie are going to drive me. I can't see you right now."

Edward gasped. "So I can't even come?"

I leaned back in my chair. "Of course you can come to my show, Edward. I didn't mean it like that. I meant I can't see you and be alone with you right now."

I didn't hear Edward's reply because I heard Emmett scream my name before he opened my bedroom door.

"Jacob's downstairs. He says he's here to take you to your show" he announced before walking out of my room and my eyes went wide.

What the hell was he doing here? He was supposed to be at work.

"Alice and Rosalie are taking you, huh?" Edward sneered. "You can't be alone with me but you can be alone with that fucking dog! Why not just tell me the truth, Bella? Why lie?"

"For your information, I didn't lie! I don't know why he's here and he's certainly NOT taking me to my show! Not that it's any of your business!" I said through clenched teeth.

"Did he just call her a liar?" I heard Rosalie whisper to Alice who mumbled a, I think so. Rosalie shook her head. "Stupid boy."

"Sure, whatever you say," Edward replied with an attitude.

I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling. "You know what Edward, I changed my mind. I don't want you anywhere NEAR my show! I don't want you anywhere near me, you dick!" I yelled.

"Fine by me!" he yelled back.

"Fuck you!" I snapped before I hit the end button and tossed Alice's phone on the bed.

My blood was racing and my heart was pounding. Both Alice and Rosalie sat there looking at me with wide eyes.

"Holy shit, Bella," Rosalie mumbled, a slow smile creeping on her face. "Way to grow some balls."

I shot her a look before ripping open my bedroom door and running downstairs, not bothering to care that I was only in my bath robe.

"I gotta see this!" I heard Rosalie say from behind me.

"Wait up!" Alice called out.

Jacob was standing at the bottom of my stairs holding a bouquet of roses. His left eye was swollen, his jaw had large bruise on it and his nose was two sizes too big.

"What are you doing here? Did me not answering your calls or texts not give you a clue?" I hissed.

Jacob was taken by surprise at my outburst, but quickly recovered. "I brought these for you. I thought I could give you a ride to your show."

"You knew I already had a ride!"

Jacob's face went hard. "So that's it then? You'd rather go with _Cullen_ than me!"

"My god!" I shouted causing everyone to look at me shocked and Emmett to come out of the kitchen. "I'm so tired of this pissing contest with you two! You don't like each other! I get it! But guess what? I don't care! Think of me as Switzerland! Neutral ground! So let it go!"

"Like that's gonna happen," someone snickered from behind me.

Jacob's jaw clenched. We stood there staring at each other for what seemed like hours. I was done. I didn't want to deal with this anymore.

"I'll let it go when you tell me you're not still in love with him"

I heard multiple gasps come from behind me and my whole body tensed in fear. That was a low bow, and he knew it.

"Are you serious right now?" I whispered.

"Like a heart attack"

I shook my head. "You're insane," I stuttered out.

"You think I've forgotten how head over heels you were for him? You worshiped the ground he walked on for Christ sake! I use to sit there and wish that you would look at me the way you use to look at him. But you never did," Jacob said softly.

Tears came to my eyes. I wanted to tell him that he was crazy. I wanted to tell him I didn't look at Edward that way anymore and that I wasn't in love with him, but nothing came out. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, but still, nothing. My silence was all he needed.

"You know I pretended that this relationship was real. That you could learn to love me," Jacob whispered his voice breaking.

"Jake," I started and took a step towards him but he held his hands up. It broke my heart.

"Tell me, Bella," he pleaded, tears shining in his eyes. "Tell me you're not still in love with him"

My lip started to quiver and the tears finally spilled over. "I can't," I whispered.

Jacob let out a tiny sob and looked to the ground. I rushed over to him and took his face in my hands.

"I am so sorry, Jake. I never wanted to hurt you," Jacob nodded his head but kept looking to the ground. It didn't matter. I could see and feel the tears on my hands. "You know I love you."

He sniffled and looked up at me.

"But you're not in love with me." I didn't answer. I didn't need to. He already knew the answer.

"I do care about you. More than you realize," I whispered.

He gave me a forced, fake smile. "That's better than nothing."

I tried to smile through my tears but it was hard and almost impossible. Jacob wrapped his arms around me and crushed me into his chest. I closed my eyes and tried to take in every moment into my memory. Jacob's arms always made me feel so warm and safe. I was suddenly afraid that when he let go, I would never feel that way again.

Jacob pulled away far too early for me and I let out a slight whimper. My tears were running freely at this point, but I didn't care. It killed me that I hurt him this much.

"Well… uh," Jake sniffled again and lifted the bouquet up to me. "These are for you. Good luck at your show tonight, Bella. I know everyone will love your work."

I took the roses from him and held onto them like a lifesaver. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and I forced a sob down my throat. He turned to walk out the door and I suddenly started to panic. I didn't want him out of my life. He was Jake. I _needed_ him in my life.

"Jacob!" I called out.

He stopped and looked back towards me over his shoulder.

"Will I see you," I asked in a whisper. "You know, around?"

Jacob gave me a soft smile through his own tears. "I'm always around."

I watched as he made his way over to his car, got in, and drove away. When his car was completely out of view, I turned around and looked behind me. Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie all sat there with the same look on their faces.

Sorrow.

I started to cry again and the girls immediately shot up and wrapped their arms around me. Thank goodness they did, because I honestly didn't know if I could stand much longer on my own.


	9. Chapter 9

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**i own nothing and that makes me sad :(**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

When I had walked into the hall where the Art Show was held, I think my heart had stopped. It was a lot bigger than I had thought it would be. Sure, I had been there before to set up, but there had been only a couple people there, and not everyone had been set up.

But now, hundreds of people were there.

On the right side of the hall, where I was located, were all of the hand artists, people who drew with pencils, pens, paints, charcoal, and various other things. Basically, anything they could get their hands on.

On the left side, there were the builders, people who sculpted and built their art out of whatever was lying around. There was actually a chair built of nothing but beer cans. I think Emmett had taken over fifty pictures of it.

By the entrance, had been all of the photography. Thousands of beautiful photographs people took from all over the world or right in their own backyard. I didn't know there was so much you could do with a camera.

Angela had her own set up in that area and it was nothing less than spectacular. I had gone over to talk to her when I first arrived and had been slightly embarrassed to see pictures of myself there, but didn't say anything. I knew how nervous I had felt and Angela probably felt the same way, so I didn't want to make her feel bad. I stayed and talked to her for a little while but had to walk away when my eyes wouldn't stop wandering over to the pictures of Edward.

At the end of the hall, there was a huge stage, and all of the musical artists were set up. Each artist was allowed one song that they had wrote and/or wanted to perform, then moved along so the next person could perform.

It was all absolutely amazing.

But what floored me the most was that people had actually wanted to buy some of my stuff. I was shocked. Six out of my ten pieces were sold. The only ones that were left was a picture of old man Stewart's farm, three roses that I sketched, a drawing of a wolf, and the sketch of Edward. That last two weren't for sale. I couldn't bring myself to sell the portrait of Edward and the wolf I had promised to Jake.

My heart ached when I thought about him. I felt so shitty for how things ended between us and had actually missed him even though we had just broken up a couple hours ago. He was my best friend and a really good boyfriend. I did feel for him and wished with everything that it could have worked between us. But with my feelings for Edward, it would have been near impossible. It wasn't fair to him to keep him in a relationship when my heart belonged to someone else.

I wasn't completely delusional, though. Just because Jake and I broke up, didn't mean I was going to run to Edward. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to move on from him. I didn't want to be hurt anymore and that seemed all he was capable of.

I took a deep breath and looked around. It had been the first time I was actually standing in my section alone. I had told everyone else to go wander and get themselves something to eat and drink. I could handle being alone for a short amount of time.

"Hello Bella"

I turned around and clenched my jaw. There stood Tanya _the slut_ Denali, resident slut and Queen Bitch of our entire school. She was also completely obsessed with Edward. I hated her. She was wearing open toed white high heels, a short jean skirt, and a pink tank top that was two sizes too small for her that made her enormous fake boobs pop out. Ok, I didn't know if they were fake or not, but in my mind, they were and if you hit them with a pin, they blew up.

I hated this bitch.

"What do you want, Tanya?" I asked with a bored tone.

"Cute pictures you have here. Who knew mousy little Bella actually had some talent," she said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. Did I mention I hated this bitch?

I was about to open my mouth when I saw the slut's, I mean Tanya's, face harden before she stomped towards me. My brows came together in confusion as she walked past me, pushing me out of the way.

"What the hell is this?" she screeched loudly, causing a few people to stop and look.

The slut, I mean Tanya, stood in front of my drawing of Edward with her face masked with anger. She actually looked to be a little constipated and I had to hold back my laughter.

"Why do you have a drawing of _my _boyfriend in your little show?" The slut, I mean Tanya, yelled.

I let out a little laugh. "I didn't know stalking someone made them your boyfriend."

She crossed her arms and popped her hip to the side. "I _do not_ stalk anyone. Edward just has commitment issues. He'll come around to see that the only logical thing is for us to become a couple. You're just jealous."

I bit my tongue. I was a little jealous. Not of her, but of the fact that Edward had at one point saw something in her that he had obviously didn't see in me.

"Look, _Bella,_" the way she said my name made me want to smack her. "I've heard about you ok? And I think it's cute, you're little crush and all. But let's face facts. Edward would never be with someone like you when he could have someone like me."

I clamped my jaw shut and didn't move an inch. I was going to claw the sluts, I mean Tanya's, eyes out if I did.

"Now, we'll settle this like women. I'll buy this from you and if you could refrain from drawing any more pictures of my boyfriend in the future that would be great."

"It's not for sale," I said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, no. You're _going_ to sell this to me, right now!"

"No, I'm _really_ not."

The slut's, I mean Tanya's, face went red. I thought she might explode. Her eyes quickly looked over my shoulder before she relaxed, flipped her strawberry blonde hair, and plastered a big smile on her face and looked back at me.

"Keep your little drawing then. I know you've been in love with him for years and this picture is probably the closet you'll ever get to him," she said in a sickly sweet voice before stomping away.

I tried to hold back the tears that stung my eyes. I would not give that slut, I mean Tanya, the satisfaction of making me cry. Even if what she said had been entirely true.

"Everything ok?" Alice asked as she walked up and handed me my bottle of water.

I gave her a tight lip smiled and nodded.

Later that night, as I lay in my bed, I couldn't stop my mind from racing. The show had been a complete success. I had sold every piece I had, except for the wolf and Edward drawing, of course. I couldn't believe the compliments I had gotten and requests to draw specific things from complete strangers. It was all too surreal. I think I had exchanged emails with about thirteen different people so that they could send me what exactly they wanted.

The support I had was also nothing short of spectacular. A few of my father's colleges had shown up, claiming Charlie did nothing but talk about the show for weeks so they had to come see for themselves how good I actually was. Esme and Carlisle also came and stood in for my father since he couldn't be there. They were the kindest people on the planet.

Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper had stayed throughout the entire show. Every time someone would stop to look at one of my drawings, Emmett would yell, "Buy her stuff! She's awesome!" There were a few times I wanted to smack him, although I couldn't help but laugh. Jasper had turned into my own personal haggler. Though my drawings had already had a set price, if someone came wanting to pay less, Jasper talked them into paying almost full, and if someone wanted to pay the full price, Jasper talked them into paying more, stating I didn't know my own talent. I was floored. Rosalie and Alice were my own personal bodyguards. If any of the bitchy girls from school came and tried to pester, Rose and Alice quickly shot them down.

They were the best friends anyone could ask for.

My phone beeped next to me and my body went tense. I had wished more than anything that it was Edward. Although I had told him not to come to my art show, part of me was really disappointed when he didn't show. It had been a big night for me and having him there would have made the night it perfect.

I grabbed my phone and felt disappoint shoot through me. It wasn't from Edward. It was from Jake. I immediately felt like an asshole. There I was, disappointed that Edward wasn't texting me and Jake and I had just broken up a couple hours ago.

_**How was your show? – J**_

Tears stung my eyes. I was a complete bitch and hurt him so much and he still cared. He deserved so much better than me.

_**It was really great, suprisingly. People actually bought my stuff! Lol – B**_

_**Doesn't surprise me. You're an amazing artist. – J**_

_**Thank you, Jake! I didn't sell your wolf picture though! It's still yours. – B**_

_**I appreciate that – J**_

I bit my lip. His texts seemed void of emotion and I knew he was probably hurting. I wished there was something I could say to make it all better but I was drawing a blank. Before I could even start to think, my phone beeped again.

_**I shouldn't have texted, I'm sorry – J**_

_**I'm glad you did – B**_

_**Are you really? – J**_

I felt like an even bigger asshole.

_**Very much so. Jake, I know you probably don't believe it, or want to hear this, but you did make me happy. I do feel for you. – B**_

_**I know – J**_

I wanted to growl in frustration. This was so awkward. Jake was one of the few people I could actually talk to and at this moment, I didn't know what to say to him

_**I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. – B**_

_**This really isn't a conversation I want to have through texts, Bella – J**_

_**You're right. Can we meet? Hang out? Or maybe just grab some coffee and talk? – B**_

I waited a good five minutes and didn't get a response.

_**Please, Jake? – B**_

_**We will. I just need a little bit of time. It's still fresh. – J**_

_**I understand – B**_

_**I should go. – J**_

_**Ok... – B**_

_**Goodnight, Bella – J**_

_**Goodnight, Jake – B**_

I closed my phone and wiped away the tears that I hadn't even known I shed. When Jake and I had first started dating, I couldn't even imagine feeling anything for him other than friendship. But now, my heart ached because my feelings had grown stronger. Only not strong enough to over take the feelings that had already been in my heart for years.

I was taken out of my thoughts by the sound of my bedroom window opening. I sat up in shock when I saw Edward climbing through it.

"I know you don't want to see me, just don't yell at me," he whispered.

He looked so innocent and childlike; I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I looked him over and realized this was the first time I was seeing him since the fight. His lip was split and he had a small bruise on the left side of his jaw. He didn't look as bad as Jake, but you could definitely tell he had been in a fight.

"Just hear me out ok?" he asked with his hands up in surrender.

I nodded and pushed my hair behind my ears.

Edward let out a sigh and looked down at his feet while he put his hands in his pockets. When he looked back up at me, there was something in his eyes, something that I had never seen before. It was like he was studying me. I watched as he started to breathe a littler heavier but still remained quiet. We sat there in silence before it started to kill me.

"Hearing you out would actually work if you had something to say," I joked.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"For what exactly?"

He looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders. He was such a typical guy.

"Sorry for not coming to my show, even though I told you not to, you're my best friend and should have still come?"

Edward opened his mouth about to say something, but he decided against it and quickly closed it. "Yes."

"Sorry for calling me a liar when I didn't lie to you?"

Edward flinched. "Yes."

"Sorry for breaking my boyfriend's nose?"

Edward's head snapped up. "I broke his nose?"

I glared at him, which caused him to look back down at the ground. I waited for him to say if he was sorry, but it never came.

"Well?" He didn't say anything. "Do you even feel a little bit bad about it?"

Edward snorted and said, "No."

I let out a huff and shook my head. "Unbelievable. Why the hell did you even come here then?"

Edward's hands came out of his pockets and pulled at his beautiful hair. A small smile came to my face. He always did that when he was frustrated.

"I came here to apologize. No, I'm not sorry for fighting Jacob, Bella. He punched me for no reason. But I _am_ sorry that it hurt you. I _never_ wanted to hurt you!"

I bit my lip and looked down. If he even knew how much he had hurt me over the past couple years, he would never be able to look at me again. We were both silent again for an eternity. I could hear cars driving up and down the street and the wind blow, making the trees move.

"Bella, I…" he started but never finished. He let out an aggravated growl and shook his head.

I watched as he looked down at the ground before he leaned down and picked up the sweater I had been wearing earlier in the night and started to fold it. My eyebrows went up in amusement as he laid the sweater on my chair by my desk then started to straighten up all the papers that were there. Whenever Edward had something on his mind, his OCD came out full blast. He would start cleaning and straightening everything up.

After about a minute, I let out a soft chuckle and decided to take pity on him. I got up out of my bed, walked over to him, and grabbed his hands so he would stop.

"Stop cleaning my room, Edward and tell me what you want to say."

Edward stared at my hands on top of his before looking up. I was surprised when his eyes didn't meet my own, but had in fact stopped to stare at my lips.

_What the hell is going on?_

Edward reached up and put a strand of hair behind my ear, but his hand never left my face. I swallowed as he cupped my cheek and his thumb rubbed against my jaw line.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

I bit my lip and nodded my head. I don't think I could have talked if someone had paid me. The feel of Edward's hand on my face sent tingles through out my body and rendered me speechless. Edward closed his eyes and cursed, causing my brows to come together in confusion. I was about to ask him what was wrong when I heard my front door close.

I immediately jumped and began to panic. "Shit! Charlie is home! You have to hide!"

"What? Why?" Edward asked as I looked around for somewhere for him to hide.

"Because he's going to come up here and ask me how my show was since he couldn't make it and you being here at 12:30 at night won't go over well with him!" I whispered yelled.

I listened and heard a clatter. He must have just taken off his gun holster and put it on the table.

"Where the hell do you want me to hide?"

I looked around my room and then quickly ran to the closet. "Get in here quick!"

Edward came over and looked inside.

"There is no way I'm fitting in there!" Edward whispered.

"You're going to have to squeeze! I'll try and get rid of him fast, now go!" I whispered frantically while shoving him into the closet.

I shut the door and made a dash for my bed. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest you could probably hear it. Just as I pulled the covers over myself, Charlie popped his head in my door.

"Bells, you awake?"

I rolled over and tried to smile at him. "Hey, Dad."

Charlie smiled, came into the room, and sat on the edge of my bed. "How was your show, hunnie?"

I sat up and tried to control my breathing. "It was really great. I sold eight pieces."

My father's eyes lit up. "That's fantastic, Bells! I'm so proud of you!"

He leaned over and gave me a hug and my eyes darted to the closet. I prayed Edward didn't move around in there.

"I'm really sorry I couldn't be there, Bells. I feel really bad about it. I promise to be at your next one."

I put my hand on his arm and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Dad, it's ok. I understand. You can't ask the criminals to not commit a crime just because of my art show."

I watched as his mustache twitched from his smile.

"Well, still. I'm going to make it up to you. Tomorrow night, me, you and Emmett are having dinner."

Charlie chuckled as a hint of fear came across my face. "I won't cook. We'll go out, and not to the diner, somewhere nice to celebrate. It'll be nice to just spend some time with you kids, I feel like I don't do it enough."

"You spend time with us plenty. But that sounds great. I'd like that."

He nodded his head before leaning over and giving me a kiss on my forehead. "Get some sleep, Bells."

"Night, Dad."

Charlie gave me one last glance before he turned around and walked out, shutting the door behind him. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding just as the closet door opened.

Edward stepped out and closed the door behind him with a nervous look on his face.

"We're clear. He won't be back in," I whispered.

Edward nodded his head but didn't say anything. I wanted to ask him what happened before, why he was looking at me the way he was but he finally opened his mouth.

"I should probably get going anyway. It is pretty late."

I tried to mask my disappointment but I failed. "Ok"

Edward turned towards the window, but before he could climb out the window I called out his name, stopping him.

"I have to go to dinner with my dad tomorrow night, obviously you heard. But you would you want to hang out Monday after school?"

Why couldn't I let him go? Why couldn't I let him climb out the window and stick with my plan of moving on? Why was the pain of never seeing him again so hard to take?

"I have football practice," he mumbled.

"Oh," I breathed as I looked down at my hands that were in my lap.

"We can hang Tuesday though if you want?"

My head shot up and I smiled. Edward rewarded me with a smile of his own as I nodded. He whispered goodnight and was gone. I lay back on my bed, smiling, but still completely confused.


	10. Chapter 10

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**i want to own edward but i dont and that makes me sad :(**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

When I woke up the next morning, the only thing on my mind was trying to get Bella to talk to me. I had checked my phone and my facebook but had nothing. I wasn't surprised. I didn't expect Bella to just forget what happened between me and that shithead and text me, but it would have been fucking nice. I wanted to call her, but I knew Bella well enough to know that when she is mad, the best thing to do is just let her be and she would contact you when she was ready. If you continued to try and get a hold of her, it would only make things worse. But I didn't want to just do nothing. So I grabbed my phone and typed out a quick text.

**I'm really sorry you had to see that. It was wrong. I hope you can forgive me. Let me now if you still want me to drive you to your Art Show tonight.**

I prayed she still did want me to take her. Tonight was a huge deal for her and I didn't want to miss it. I tried to keep myself occupied throughout the day, but I couldn't help but check my phone every other fucking minute. I cleaned my room, the kitchen, and the living room.

Bella never texted back.

My body was so tense from the stress of waiting to hear from her, that I decided I should blow of some steam and go for a jog. With every step I took, the memory of the look of complete and udder hurt flashed through my mind. I looked down at my phone again, even though I knew there wasn't anything because I had my headphones plugged in and the sound on, I would have heard it. The screen showed it was going on 3:30. Bella's show was at five. I decided to head back to my house and start to get ready. If she didn't want me to drive her, I was still going to go.

When I came through the back door and into the kitchen, I saw my mother putting groceries away.

"Hey, Mom. Need any help?"

"No, dear, thank you though. How was your... oh my god! What happened to your face?" my mother yelled as she dropped her loaf of bread and ran over to me.

I cursed under my breath. I had forgotten that fucking dog had actually left a few marks. My mother took my face into her hands and looked at me with concern.

"It's fine, Mom. Nothing to worry about" I mumbled.

"Edward, you have a bruise and your lip is split. What happened?"

"I fell?" I tried weakly causing my mother to remove her hands and give me a stern look. She didn't buy it. I let out a huff. "I got into a fight mom. It's not a big deal."

"With who?"

"Jacob _fucking_ Black" She smacked my arm for cursing. "Sorry"

"Bella's boyfriend, Jacob?"

I clenched my jaw and nodded.

Mom's face immediately turned into worry. "Why? Did he do something to Bella? Is she ok?"

"She's fine he didn't do anything to her"

Mom walked back over to her groceries as I sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island.

"So then why did you fight your best friend's boyfriend?"

I let out a huff and grabbed the new bag of cookies she bought. "I went to Bella and Emmett's after school yesterday to watch a movie. Emmett went in the other room to talk to Rosalie and Bella and I started to joke around. We started to wrestle and next thing I know; I'm being torn off of her and get punched in the face."

"What?" She asks in disbelief.

I nod and take a bite out of my cookie. "He thought I was hurting her or something. Or so he says. I think its bullshit; he just used that as an excuse."

"Why would he do that?"

I snorted. "Because he hates me. Which is fine with me because I can't stand him. He started yelling about me being on top of his girlfriend and all this other bullshit."

"What did Bella say?"

"She tried to explain to him that we were just wrestling but he wouldn't listen. Then she got pissed and yelled at us both and ran upstairs."

"Why did she yell at both of you?" my mom asked as she took the bag of cookies away from me and put them in the cabinet.

I looked down at my lap as I wiped my hands on my pants.

"I may have punched him back and the fight escalated," I mumbled.

I looked up to see my mom walk around the island and come up next to me. Next, she smacked me hard as hell on the back of my head.

"Ah! Ma! What the hell!" I cried out as I rubbed the back of my head.

"Why would you punch him back? He's your _best friend's _boyfriend, Edward!"

"So I'm supposed to just let him sucker punch me?" I cried out as she walked back around the island.

Mom shakes her head and crosses her arms. "You are so much like your father, it scares me."

I rolled my eyes. She only said that shit when I did stuff she didn't like.

"Have you talked to Bella since?"

"I texted her this morning, she hasn't gotten back to me yet though," as I said that, I checked my phone again.

"Did you apologize?"

"Yes," she raises her eyebrows at me. "I apologized because she had to see it."

Mom shook her head and turned around to the sink. "I figured we could just go out to eat tonight or order in since we'll all be at Bella's art show. Do you need a ride?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm supposed to pick Bella up and drive her there."

"Ok, well your father is picking me up after he gets done his shift at the hospital so we'll just meet you there."

It was the then I realized I hadn't seen Alice in a while. I saw her once this morning, but she just threw me a dirty look and slammed her bedroom door.

"Where's Alice?"

"She left about fifteen minutes ago with Rosalie. She had all of her stuff with her, said they were going to Bella's to help her get ready."

My head shot up in surprise. Alice was at Bella's. I stood up and mumbled something about getting a shower and ran up to my room.

I tried to call Alice's cell, it rang twice before going to voicemail. I growled and hung up. She was purposely putting me to voicemail. I just knew it. I waited a couple minutes just in case she was on the phone and called back. This time it only rang once and went to voicemail.

Yup, she was definitely ignoring me.

In the last fifteen minutes, I tried calling her four times and each time she put me to voicemail. I was going to kill her. After the fourth time, I hung up and immediately called back. I would be the most annoying fucker ever until she answered.

On the fifth call, she finally answered.

"What?" she snapped as she answered the phone.

"Are you at Bella's?"

"Yes, where else would I be?" she asked annoyed.

"Can I talk to her?"

"No you can't" she said with a sigh.

"Why not?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Don't you think if she wanted to talk to you she would have called you by now?"

Fuck. She was right. Which only meant she still didn't want to talk to me, but had she talked to the dog? If she had talked to him and not me I was going to be fucking pissed.

"Well, has she talked to _him_?"

"I don't know"

"Ask her"

"No I'm not asking..." she hissed before I heard someone say something in the back.

"Are you sure?" I heard her ask through away from the phone and held my breath.

Did Bella want to talk to me? Or did she tell her to hang up on me?

I got my answer once I heard Bella's voice come onto the phone.

"Yes, Edward?"

"Bella," I breathed with relief as I sat down on my bed.

She was finally going to talk to me. Thank _fucking _god. I opened my mouth to say something but came up with nothing. I didn't know where to start. After she remained silent, I figured I had to start somewhere.

"How are you?" I asked softly.

"Peachy with a side of keen. You?"

I was taken back. I could hear the attitude in her voice and I didn't know how to react to that. I had never seen Bella with attitude before.

"Um, not to well," I mumbled.

She was silent again and I ran my hand through my hair. She was still so fucking mad at me and I just really wanted to fix it.

"Bella, I'm really sorry about last night. I really want you to forgive me," I pleaded desperately.

I would beg if I had to.

"I know. I got that text" she simply explained.

I sighed and pulled at my hair. She really didn't seem like she was going to forgive me.

"It wasn't me fault!" I cried out. "_He _attacked _me_, Bella!"

"I didn't say it was your fault, but you had to continue it didn't you? You couldn't just let it go!"

"He sucker punched me! You expect me to let that shit go?"

Bella let out a laugh. "God forbid! Don't want your tough guy reputation to be tarnished!"

I clenched my jaw. "I didn't mean it like that and you know it," I hissed.

"Whatever, Edward. I'm still pissed. And not just at you, both of you. You acted like children."

I let out a groan and stood up. "I'm sorry! How many more times do you want me to say it?"

"I don't want you to keep saying it," Bella explained. "I want you to appreciate the fact that I need a little space. I don't want to fight with you, I just want some space."

My shoulders fell. She wanted space from me? Bella never wanted space from me. I was the person she came to when she wanted space from other people.

"I guess this means you don't want me driving you to your Art Show?"

"Alice and Rosalie are going to drive me. I can't see you right now."

I gasped. That fucking hurt. I really wanted to go her Art Show. I was excited and so fucking proud of her for having the courage to do something like that and wanted to be by her side because I knew it was going to be nothing but amazing.

"So I can't even come?"

"Of course you can come to my show, Edward," I immediately felt better. "I meant I can't see you and be alone with you right now."

"Why can't you be alone with me?"

Before she answered, I heard Emmett in the background say loudly, "Jacob's downstairs. He says he's here to take you to your show."

I saw fucking red. I was here getting all this shit from her and he was at her fucking house to take her to her show.

"Alice and Rosalie are taking you, huh?" I sneered. "You can't be alone with me but you can be alone with that fucking dog! Why not just tell me the truth, Bella? Why lie?"

"For your information, I didn't lie!" Bella said in a raised voice. "I don't know why he's here and he's certainly NOT taking me to my show! Not that it's any of your business!"

None of my business? Is she fucking serious?

"Sure, whatever you say," I replied with an attitude.

Like I believed he just fucking showed up by himself thinking he was going to take her to her show. No, that meant she fucking talked to him today and not me. I was pissed.

"You know what, Edward, I changed my mind. I don't want you anywhere NEAR my show! I don't want you anywhere near me, you dick!" she yelled

"Fine by me!" I yelled back.

"Fuck you!" she snapped then hung up the phone.

I pulled the phone away from my ear. Bella hung up on me. She fucking hung up on me.

I threw my phone onto my bed and started to pace back and forth. I wanted to explode. I wanted to jump in my car and race to her house and kill that fucking prick. Ever since he started to date Bella she changed.

She rarely talked to me anymore. We didn't hang out. She was fucking cursing and hanging up on me. It was like she was a completely different person.

I just wanted my Bella back.

I lay down on my bed and covered my face with my hands. Though the anger was still running through my veins, hurt was also present.

"_I don't want you anywhere near me, you dick!"_

Bella didn't want me anywhere near her. That fucking hurt. She was my best friend. Yeah, I was pissed, but I didn't want to not be around her. I loved being around her. I was genially a happier and better person when I was around her. Because that was what Bella did, she made you want to be a better person. I lay there for a couple more minutes before I decided to get in the shower. I needed to get out of the house and go have a couple drinks to keep my mind occupied.

A little over an hour later, I was showered, dressed and ready to get out of the house. I bumped into my mother as I came out of the shower. She immediately asked me why I was still there and reminded me that Bella's show had started already. I mumbled that I wasn't going and went back into my room and slammed the door shut. I blasted my music and paced back and forth for a couple more minutes before snatching my clothes on.

I grabbed my keys and started to walk down the stairs when I realized I didn't have my phone. I hadn't touched it since I had thrown it down on the bed. I went back to my room and had to dig around the covers before I eventually found it. I had a few texts from some girls I had hooked up with before and a missed call. Maybe I would text one of them back and use them to help relieve my frustration. I checked my missed call and saw it was from Jasper.

I hit the call button and walked back out of my room.

"'ello?" Jasper answered. I could hear music in the background and a shit ton of people talking. The hurt came back when I realized he would be at Bella's art show.

"What's up, dude? You called me?"

"Yeah, just wanted to see if you needed a ride to the show since Rose and Alice was taking Bella."

I clenched my jaw. Apparently I wasn't the only one Bella had lied to.

"You mean Jacob took her to her show."

"Erm, what?" Jasper asked confused.

I locked my front door and walked towards my car. "Jacob took Bella to her Art Show."

"Ugh, no he didn't. Alice and Rosalie did. I watched them get out of the car together"

I stopped walking right as I got to my car. "Is Jacob there?"

"Nope. Al said he showed up out of no where saying he was taking her when Rosalie and Alice were suppose to take her and something happened but she couldn't get into with Bella so close. But na man, he's definitely not here."

I let out a sigh and leaned against my car. Bella didn't lie to me. She was really supposed to get a ride from Rosalie and Alice. I felt like a complete and utter asshole. I got off the phone with Jasper and pulled at my hair. Instead of things getting better with Bella, they had gotten worse, and it was my entire fault. I had called her a liar and yelled at her. When, in fact, she didn't lie about a single thing. It took me all about two seconds to decide to go to her show. Deep down, I wanted to go, and probably would have ended up there anyway. She was my best friend. I was going to support her. If she asked me to leave, I would. But not without apologizing to her for being the biggest dick that ever lived.

It took me about forty five minutes to get to the show and another ten minutes to find parking. This place was fucking packed. I walked through the hall doors and was floored. There had to be thousands of people there. I looked around to see if I could spot Bella, but there were too many people. I did happen to bump into Ben Chaney and he pointed me in the right direction.

I let out a breath of relief when I finally spotted her. She was standing with her back to me and was talking to someone. When I walked closer, I saw that the person she was talking to was Tanya.

_What the hell?_

I started to walk a little faster, but it was almost impossible with all the people in the way. I finally got close enough to be able to hear them talk.

"No, I'm _really_ not!" Bella said with a hint of attitude.

I watched as Tanya's face went red. It was pretty comical. Tanya then looked past Bella's shoulders and her eyes connected with mine. For some reason I stopped walking. Just one look from her made me want to cringe.

"Keep your little drawing then," I heard Tanya say to Bella when she looked back at her. "I know you've been in love with him for years and never told him how you really felt, and this picture, is probably the closet you'll ever get to him."

I stopped breathing. Bella was in love with me? She has been for years? Bella was my best friend. She's always been my best friend and has always thought of me as my best friend. Right? I felt like my entire world was changing before me. I saw Bella begin to turn and quickly ducked behind a wall I was so relieved was there. I was terrified to see her. I didn't know what I would say or how I would act. Leaving the show was a complete fog. I didn't even remember getting into my car until I was driving.

And driving I did.

I drove for hours as my mind wandered. I thought back on the years that Bella and I had been friends. I never once picked up any romantic feelings from her. Sure, we talked everyday and spent loads of time together, but that was what friends did. She never once got jealous when I was hooking up with someone. I thought back to all the times I had hooked up with some random girl at a party or when we went out and I felt sick to my stomach. If Bella was in love with me, then seeing me with all those different girls probably hurt her constantly.

Fuck. I was an asshole.

Suddenly all the looks, glances, smiles, frowns, and tears over the years made sense.

Whenever I held Bella or hugged her, her entire body would melt against me. I loved it. I had always thought it meant she felt relaxed with me. But now I know it was because of how she felt. I then thought of how we were always touching. But that wasn't just her, it was me as well. Whenever I was around her, I just wanted to touch her. Did it hurt her when I did that? Or was she happy with what she had? How could she be? Who could be happy with being in love with someone that never knew?

This brought me back to how many times I have probably hurt her without even realizing. Two years ago, we threw a party at our house. I was fifteen, Bella was fourteen. I had been talking to this girl Kate all night, putting on the charm to get her to go up to my room with me. It finally worked. We started making out and stumbled our way up my stairs. By the time we had gotten to the top of the stairs, I had her shirt unbuttoned and her hand was down my pants. That was also the time Bella had come out of the bathroom. I heard her gasp, that was when I noticed her. A look of complete shock came across her face. I had thought it was because she was so sweet and innocent and the sight before her was something she had never seen. Kate began to nibble on my neck and I gave Bella a smile and winked at her before going to my bedroom. The next day, I saw Bella crying in Alice's bedroom and demanded to know what was wrong. She had told me it was because she was thinking of her mom and I believed her.

I shook my head and bit my lip. I fucking winked at her.

Biggest. Fucking. Asshole.

I didn't realize where I was going until I pulled onto Bella's street. I parked my car about two houses up from hers and turned it off. I tapped my thumbs on my steering wheel as I stared at her window. What the hell I was doing there, I couldn't tell you. Now that I knew she was in love with me, I couldn't act the same. I didn't want to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her. But how could we still be friends? The thought of not having Bella in my life was gut wrenching. It felt like a knife pierced my heart. It just couldn't happen. Bella _had_ to be in my life. I got out of my car and made my way over to the tree I had climbed hundreds of times. When I made it to her window, I sat there and looked at her before I went in. She was lying on her back on her bed. I opened her window and climbed in.

Bella shot up and stared at me with wide eyes.

"I know you don't want to see me, just don't yell at me," I whispered.

I hated when she yelled at me. It meant she was mad at me, and I hated her being mad at me even more than her yelling.

I put my hands up in surrender and asked, "Just hear me out ok?"

Bella nodded and I let out a sigh. I looked down at my feet and put my hands in my pockets. I looked back up with the plan to start talking, but when I looked at her, I just stared. Her hair was falling over her shoulders in waves and she had on a white tank top. I watched as she licked her lips and I started to breathe a little heavier. Since when did that become incredibly sexy?

"Hearing you out would actually work if you had something to say," Bella joked.

Fuck. I still hadn't said anything.

"I'm sorry"

"For what exactly?"

_For hurting you, for never knowing how you really felt about me. For making you feel like you couldn't tell me._

I shrugged my shoulders as I looked at her.

"Sorry for not coming to my show, even though I told you not to, you're my best friend and should have still come?"

I opened my mouth about to tell her that I did come, but decided against it. I didn't want to have to explain why I left. "Yes"

"Sorry for calling me a liar when I didn't lie to you?"

I flinched. Did I really call her a liar? I looked down and mumbled, "Yes."

"Sorry for breaking my boyfriend's nose?"

My head snapped up. "I broke his nose?"

Fuck yes!

Bella glared at me causing me to look back down at the ground. Now wasn't the time to celebrate about breaking that fucker's nose, even though I was still excited about it.

"Well? Do you even feel bad about that?"

I snorted and shook my head. "No."

Bella let out a huff and shook her head. Fuck. That was probably the wrong thing to say.

"Unbelievable. Why the hell did you even come here then?"

My hands shot out of my pockets and pulled at my hair. I had no idea why I was there. I just knew I felt like shit and when I felt like shit I always went to Bella.

"I came here to apologize. No, I'm not sorry for fighting Jacob, Bella. He punched me for no reason. But I _am_ sorry that it hurt you. I _never_ wanted to hurt you!"

And that was true. I was so fucking sorry for ever hurting her. I had a huge lump in my throat because of it. I didn't know what else to say to her. But I had to try.

"Bella, I..." I started but couldn't find the words to finish.

I hated this. I had never been like this before and it was frustrating as hell. I let out a growl and shook my head. How could I say anything to her without sounding like a complete dip shit? I looked down at the ground and saw a sweater of hers lying there. I quickly picked it up, folded it and put it on her chair. I didn't even realize I had started straightening the papers on her desk until I felt Bella's hands on my own.

As soon as her skin touched my own, it felt like this electric current went through me.

_What the hell was that?_

I slowly ran my eyes up her body. I clenched my jaw when I noticed her nipples were hard against her tank top and quickly decided I needed something else to look at because looking at her nipples was probably the worst thing to be looking at right now. I was wrong. Because once my eyes fell onto her lips, I felt like my heart stopped. Had they always looked so plump and kissable?

I finally looked up into her eyes and couldn't help but notice how big and beautiful they were. There was a strand of hair in front of her face and I reached up and put it behind her ear. I cupped her jaw and rubbed my thumb against.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered sincerely.

And I truly was. I knew then that hurting Bella would be the biggest mistake of my life. I stared into her eyes as she nodded and bit her lip. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I closed my eyes and cursed.

_Fuck. I was a fucking dead man._

The next thing I knew, Bella was jumping and running around her room in a panic. She had heard her father and was desperately trying to find a place for me to hide. Bella quickly ran over to her closet and ripped open the door, telling me to hide in there. I walked over and stared at the small space.

"There's no way I'm fitting in there!" I whispered.

Bella made some comment about me having to squeeze and shoved me in there. I cursed when a hanger poked me in the shoulder. I tried to get more comfortable but had to stop moving when I heard the chief come into the room. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall behind me. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I came here for an unknown reason and ended up just staring at Bella the whole time.

_Her tits looked amazing._

I held back my groan. I went to go move my jeans that were now incredibly tight. I moved my feet slightly as I adjusted myself and felt something under my feet. I looked down to see what it was but with the minimal light, couldn't make it out. I slowly managed to reach down and grab it, without making any noise, and picked it up. It was actually three folders. My brows came together in confusion as I opened it up.

I could tell from the feel of the paper that it was sketching papers. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and hit a button so it would light up. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. In my hand was a sketch... of me.

It was beautiful and looked almost like a photograph. There had to be about thirty or more sketches in each folder. All were of me, smiling, laughing, drinking, or just lying down. I had never seen them before and was completely floored because as far as I knew, Bella didn't like to sketch people.

_I can never get the face right and I don't want the people to be upset with how it turns out, that's why animals and scenery's are safe. _

Before I had I even had time to react to the sketches, I heard Bella's door close. Charlie finally left. I quickly put my phone away and put the folders back on the ground before walking out of the closet.

"We're clear. He won't be back in," Bella whispered to me.

I nodded my head because I was afraid if I opened my mouth that I would tell her about the sketches. I had to get out of there. I had to think. I made up some excuse about it being late and tried to ignore the hurt in her voice when she said ok. I made my way over to the window but stopped when Bella called my name and asked me to hang out Monday after school.

"I have football practice," I mumbled.

"Oh," she said softly and looked down at her lap.

I cursed and shook my head. Could I do anything without hurting her?

"We can hang out Tuesday if you want?" the words were out of my mouth before I could even register them.

The smile she gave me was breath taking and I couldn't help but smile back. She was just so beautiful.

"Goodnight, Bella," I whispered before I climbed out the window and walked back to my car completely confused.


	11. Chapter 11

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I had told myself that I was going to distance myself from Bella until Tuesday when we hung out, I had decided that was when I was going to tell her I knew about her secret, but I couldn't do it. When I had woken up Sunday morning, the first thing I wanted to do was talk to her. I held onto my phone for an hour before I decided to send a text.

_**I'm bored. – E**_

Not very original, I know. But I couldn't figure out what else to write. My phone beeping made me jump.

_**Hello, Bored. I'm Bella :) – B**_

I laughed. I loved her sense of humor.

_**Hardy, har har, you're so funny – E**_

_**I'm a comical genius. I should open my own comedy club – B**_

I couldn't help but smile. That was the Bella I knew. My phone beeped again.

_**How come you're bored? I thought sneaking out of girls houses on Sunday was fun to you? Lol - B**_

My heart stopped. She was right. Almost every Sunday morning I would wake up in some girls bed and snuck out while texting her.

_**I'm in my own bed, thank you. Alone! – E**_

_**::gasp:: you spent a Saturday night ALONE? Are you feeling ok? Should I come take your temperature? – B**_

_**If you wear one of those sexy little nurse outfits sure! ;) – E **_

I hit send before I even realized what I had said. It wasn't anything out of the normal, Bella and I had always joked around like that. I never thought anything of it. Now I was worried that these texts had maybe hurt her in the past. Nothing on the planet could have prepared me for the text that I had gotten back.

_**Now what are you going to do when I do show up in that outfit? ;) – B**_

My dick immediately went hard and visions of Bella in that outfit flashed through my mind. She _never_ responded like that. She always just laughed it off and called me a pervert.

_**WHAT? – E**_

_**Haha I'm just kidding, champ. I know you don't want to see your sister in something like that – B **_

My sister? How the hell did my sister come into the equation? That's when it hit me; I had always called Bella my little sister. She meant herself.

_**Yeah... – E**_

I didn't know what else to say. But one thing was for sure, I did _not_ think of Bella as a little sister.

_**Jake just called and I have to talk to him. I'll text you later! – B**_

My jaw clenched and I gripped my phone tighter. I fucking _hated_ that kid. I tossed my phone aside with a huff and rolled over. I couldn't tell you how many times Bella had blown me off in the past couple months for him. If she was in love with me why the hell was she with him? Did she move on without even telling me? The thought of Bella moving on when I didn't even know about her feelings pissed me off. I immediately went back to my plan of distancing myself from Bella until we hung out on Tuesday.

But, once again, that didn't happen.

I sat around Sunday doing nothing at all. Time seemed to move so slowly and I couldn't think about anything other than Bella. After what seemed like ten years, it was finally night time and I knew Bella would be home soon.

"Edward! Log on! We're doing a group chat!" Alice called through my door.

I jumped up and ran to my computer. Yes, I was excited to have something to do; it would keep my mind off of all the stuff that I shouldn't have been thinking about. I saw Emmett on there, which only meant they were back from their dinner, but Bella wasn't. I was more than a little disappointed. But my disappointment was short lived as Bella signed on a couple minutes later. I laughed at my friends stupidity but then my heart sank with one little message.

**RedRose: Oh, Bella, Don't act innocent ;)**

What the _fuck_ did that mean? Act innocent? Bella didn't act innocent! She _was_ innocent. My knee immediately started to bounce up and down as I agreed with Emmett that a subject change was in order. I had spent the entire conversation acting normal but I was going crazy inside. Once everyone logged off, I called Bella immediately. I wanted to ask her what Rosalie meant by the comment she made, but I chickened out. Instead we just talked and talked for hours just like we use to, and I loved every second of it. We got off the phone with me telling her that I was going to pick her up and take her to school on Monday and Tuesday. I tried to find signs that would show me of her feelings but found none. She was the same Bella I had always known. She joked around with me and laughed. She really had moved on.

Maybe... that was for the best.

"Hey sexy" I heard a voice purr behind me.

I closed my locker and turned around. Lauren Mallory was standing behind me looking fuckable as ever. I had fucked her a couple times over the years. Mostly when I didn't feel like turning on the charm to work for it, because she was easy as hell and looking for the same thing I was.

"Lauren, what can I do for you this fine day?" I asked with my trademark smirk.

"How about you do me?" Lauren asked as she licked her lips.

I bit my lip and leaned against my locker. It had been a while since I had someone help me with my nether region. I actually hadn't hooked up with someone since Tanya. I had been the longest I had ever gone.

"Janitor's closet open?" I asked.

Lauren's face lit up as she nodded. I tilted my head towards the destination and she scurried off like a good little girl. I looked up and down the hallway before I followed her. That was how it always worked. The girl went into the closet first then I went in when I was sure no one was paying attention. Just as I put my hand on the door handle, I looked up one last time and the sight I saw made me stop. There, down the hall in front of her locker, was Bella and Mike Newton. He was always hitting on Bella and making stupid ass jokes in hopes she would go out with him. He was such a little prick. I quickly made my way over to them.

"But I heard it's a pretty good movie. So I think we should go see it," I heard Mike say as Bella closed her locker. Her back was to me but I could just picture the look on her face. She hated Mike Newton almost as much as I did but was always too nice to say anything mean to him.

Before Bella could answer I walked up and crossed my arms causing Mike to look at me over her shoulder.

"Cullen," Mike said through clenched teeth.

Bella turned around and gave me a beautiful smile.

"Newton," I answered with a smirk. "Is there something that I could help you with?"

"I was just asking Bella if she wanted to see a movie. Nothing that concerns _you_"

I snorted. He always hated me. He was second string on the football team and I always stole girls away from him.

"Bella," I said softly before looking at her. "Do you want to go see that movie with Mike?"

Bella bit her lip and looked down at her feet. She was adorable.

"I'm sorry, Mike. I don't think Jake would appreciate that," she mumbled and my happiness over her rejecting him was gone.

Mike's face fell then his brows came together in confusion. "But I thought..."

"She said _no_, Mike. Now go away," I said through clenched teeth.

Mike threw me a dirty look and took a step forward which caused me to step forward as well. His face would be a perfect thing to let my frustration on. But Bella quickly put her hands on my chest and that electric current I felt on Saturday came back.

"I'll talk to you later, Mike. Bye!"

Bella grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hallway.

"You know, I don't really need to see bad-ass Cullen right now," Bella mumbled as we walked down the hallway.

"It's been a long time coming for that asswhipe," I stated, looking over my shoulder and throwing Mike one last dirty look.

"Don't you have calculus now? Which is in the other direction?" I asked in confusion.

"Yes. But I'm not in the mood. So I'm going to the bleachers," Bella stated causing my jaw to drop.

Bella never skipped class. I always had a free period this period and constantly asked her to skip to hang out with me, if I hadn't been other wise engaged, and she always told me no.

"You're skipping class?" I whisper-yelled.

Bella giggled and I smiled. It was an amazing sound.

"Yes. It's healthy to skip every once in a while. Or some jock told me once"

Bella stopped moving and gave me a pointed look.

"If you think I'm not coming with you the first time you skip class you're crazy," I said with a smile.

"It's not my first time skipping class, Edward. And don't you have someone waiting for you?" she asked with a nod of her head to the back of me.

I looked back and saw the janitor's closet. I had completely forgotten that Lauren was waiting for me. Wait, how did Bella know?

"Go ahead. I'm just going to read anyway," Bella said with a smile.

It had been the first time that Bella actually _told_ me go screw some girl instead of hanging out with her. She really had fucking moved on. She gave me a little wave and started back down the hallway. I watched her walk away with an ache in my chest. I looked at the closet one last time and made my decision.

"Bella! Wait up!"

The shocked look on Bella's face was something I would never forget. I even surprised myself. I had thought about my decision. In the closet, Lauren was willing and waiting to give me the sweet release I loved so much, and then there was Bella. I would spend the entire period sitting with her, doing nothing in particular, just joking around and talking, and I wanted that more than some quick sex in a closet.

I watched as Bella laughed at some joke I told and wondered why I had never noticed how beautiful she was when she was laughing. Her face scrunched up and her eyes lit up with amusement.

"So, I have to ask, what's with the sudden change of plans? You've never given up the opportunity for a romp in the janitor's closet before," Bella asked as she moved a piece of hair from her face.

"I need an explanation for wanting to spend time with my best friend when she skips class for the first... hey wait a second! You said this wasn't your first time!"

Bella blushed and looked down at her lap. "It's not. I've cut a couple times and gone out to eat with Jake."

I saw red. She skipped class for Jacob _fucking_ Black but couldn't do it for me. I wanted to point that out, but decided not to. I didn't want to fight with her.

Bella cleared her throat and said, "Back to the original question. You gave up your midday romp. Why? Lauren wearing too much clothing today?"

I removed an invisible piece of lint of my jeans. "You know, it hurts my feelings that you think I'd rather have sex then hang out with you."

"Well, from past experience..." Bella mumbled and made me feel like a complete ass.

I cursed at myself under my breath and looked up at her. "I'm really sorry, Bella."

Bella swallowed and nodded. Then I watched as her face scrunched up in confusion, which was fucking adorable, and ask, "Why are you always apologizing? Ever since Saturday I think you've apologized about forty times!"

_Why? Because I feel like a fucking dick for not realizing how you felt about me over the years and I'm really apologizing for hurting you so many times. _

But that's not what I said. I just shrugged my shoulders and looked out on the field.

Bella chuckled, "You need to get laid, Cullen."

My head snapped over towards her. She never said that shit to me. Then I paled and remembered that little comment Rosalie said last night.

I swallowed and got up the courage to ask the question that had been running through my mind ever since Sunday night.

"What do you know about that?" I tried to hide my fright, but I didn't do a really good job.

She blushed and looked down at her lap. "I know a little," she mumbled.

That's it. I was officially going to kill Jacob _fucking_ Black. He put his hands on my Bella and he was dead.

Whoa, _my_ Bella?

_Where the hell did that come from?_

"You mean, yo… you and Jacob…?" I stuttered, but couldn't finish the sentence because I could feel the bile come up my throat.

Bella's eyes went wide. "You mean…? Oh, god no!" I visibly deflated and felt a strong sense of relief. "But we did do… things"

The sick feeling was back. "What kind of things?"

"I'm not telling you!"

"Why not? I've told you all my stuff!" I cried.

I wanted to know and didn't want to know at the same time. It was weird.

"That's different! I'm sure you don't want to hear about my sex life," Bella said with a roll of her eyes.

SEX LIFE?

I took a deep breath and mustered up all the courage I had, "Spill, Swan."

Bella bit her lip and my eyes immediately went to it. I wanted to suck it in between my lips.

_Whoa!_

She let out a huff and moved her hair around. She always played with her hair when she was nervous.

"We did… things. I don't know," she mumbled as she covered her face with her hands.

She was blushing non-stop and it was so fucking cute.

"Things like? Oral?"

I wanted to shoot myself. Why the fuck was I asking these questions?

Bella put down her hands and her face scrunched up in disgust. "No way!"

I chuckled to hide my relief. "What? You think it's disgusting or something?"

I took a sip of my Gatorade but chocked on it when I heard Bella's response.

"No. I think giving or receiving oral is probably a big turn on and I would have no problem doing it."

Bella was talking about giving head. Yup, my dick was immediately hard.

"Then why did you make that face?"

"Because I think giving oral should mean a lot more than it does now days. Girls give it away like it's nothing and I don't believe in doing that. I think that when you do experience something like that, it should be with someone special. And you want to do it because _you_ want to do it and make the other person feel good, not just do it to do it."

I honestly didn't know what to say to that. I loved getting head. What guy didn't? But she was right, it was so easy to get head, it was almost like buying a movie. Nine times out of ten if a girl wouldn't have sex with you, she would blow you.

"I know you probably think that's stupid," Bella started. "But it's what I feel."

"I don't think it's stupid, love. I actually agree with you."

Bella snorted. "Yes, coming from Mr. Man-whore himself."

I looked away again. Was I really that bad?

_Yes._

I wanted to groan in frustration but kept a tight lip. "If not oral, what then?"

Why I went back to that subject is beyond me.

"You're not going to give this up are you?"

I smirked at her as she glared at me and said, "Nope."

Bella huffed and squinted her eyes. "He fingered me and I jerked him off."

Yup, my dick was about to break through my zipper.

_Fuck_.

Thinking of Bella giving a hand job almost made me moan. But my dick, my mind, and more importantly, my heart, deflated. Bella had given a hand job to her _boyfriend_ Jacob. She crossed a sexual line I didn't think she would ever cross.

She was suppose to be my sweet, innocent, best friend, who called me a pervert when I talked about a girls boobs or made some kind of sexual joke.

But she had been off getting fingered and jerking Jacob _fucking_ Black off.

I clenched my jaw and tried to contain my rage. I was definitely going to kill this kid.

I opened my mouth to say something but was cut off by a voice calling my name.

"Eddie! Baby! Did you come to see me during gym class?"

I cringed. Tanya was walking up towards the bleachers in her gym uniform. Shorts rolled up to be almost like underwear and her shirt so tight you could see every curve of her body. The girl knew she had assets and wasn't scared to show them off.

"Really didn't Tanya," I said with a sigh a looked back at Bella.

I could see her jaw was clenched and her face was covered in anger. This was not how I planned this time to go.

"Oh, Eddie. I know you did!" She squealed as she flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"I'm here with Bella, Tanya. You should get back to class."

Tanya's eyes flicked over to Bella as if she was just noticing her. "Hi, Bella, I didn't see you there!"

I threw her a dirty look.

"Whatever, Tanya," Bella mumbled.

"Eddie, you should come over today after school. My parent's are going to be out and I think we can have some fun. It definitely won't _suck_"

I rolled my eyes. Her emphasis on the word suck didn't go unnoticed by me. I heard Bella snort beside me and when I looked over I saw her packing her things. Where the hell was she going? We still had twenty minutes until the bell rang.

"Bella and I have plans, Tanya. So, no."

Tanya's face fell. "You'd rather hang out with that mousy little freak than me?"

Bella stomped her way down the bleachers and walked passed Tanya, slamming her shoulder into her, causing Tanya to stumble back. It took me a second to react, because Bella never showed that kind of hostility, but when I did, I was out for blood.

I ran down the bleachers and got right in Tanya's face. She looked up at me with a smile.

"Don't you _ever_ talk about Bella that way again or I will _end_ you. Do you hear me?" I said in a soft, but threatening voice.

Tanya blinked in surprised. She opened her mouth to say something and I raised my eyebrow. She quickly clamped her mouth shut and gave a quick nod. I turned and followed Bella before I did something I regretted. I would never put my hands on a girl, but anyone talking about Bella pushed me over the edge. I was close to calling Rosalie and telling her to take of her. Rosalie would jump at the chance and wouldn't hesitate to kick her ass. I kept that in the back of my mind for later.

I searched for Bella for the rest of the period but couldn't find her. Luckily, I had AP Biology with her next period, so I could see if she was ok. I walked into the class and let out a sigh of relief when I saw her sitting at our table with her head down.

"Where did you go? I've been looking everywhere for you," I asked as I pulled out my stool and took a seat.

Bella's body tensed for a second before she let out a breath.

"The bathroom," she mumbled but kept her eyes down.

"You know Tanya is a bitch, Bella. Don't listen to anything she has to say"

Bella nodded her head and sniffed. I grabbed her arm and asked her to look at me. She shook her head, causing me to grab her chin and force her to look at me. Her eyes were red and puffy and you could clearly tell she had been crying. I never wanted to hurt someone as much as I wanted to hurt Tanya at that moment.

"Love, don't cry. She's not worth it!"

Bella shook her head. "I wasn't crying because of her. I don't care what she has to say about me."

My brows came together in confusion. "Then why?"

Bella closed her eyes for a second, licked her lips, and then reopened them. "I thought you stayed with her. When I looked back you were standing close and talking to her. I thought you might have taken her up on her offer."

I began to breathe heavy. I opened my mouth to tell her she was wrong when Mr. Banner came into the class and announced that everyone needed to calm down.

Fuck that.

I was _not_ letting that shit just lie there. I shot up from my desk and pulled Mr. Banner aside. I explained to him that Bella wasn't feeling well and asked if it was ok if I took her to the nurse. He took one look at her, saw her red nose and puffy eyes and immediately gave his permission.

Bella watched me in confusion as I grabbed my bag and hers.

"What are you doing?"

"Let's go!" I said through clenched teeth.

Bella hesitated for just a second before jumping out of her seat and following me.

"Edward, what the hell? What's your problem?"

I just kept my mouth shut and kept walking. If I opened it, I would explode. I was so fucking mad. Mad at Tanya for opening her fucking mouth, mad at Bella for thinking shit like that about me, and mad at myself for giving her a reason to think shit like that of me. I stormed out of the school and made my way to my car.

"Are you going to answer me or are you just going to ignore me?" Bella asked as she tried to keep up with me.

I reached my car, hit the unlock button and threw our bags in the back.

"Edward!" Bella yelled causing me to stop moving. I kept my back to her and heard her sigh. "We were in the middle of class, we can't just leave."

"I told Banner you were sick and I was taking you to the nurse. We'll be fine. It's our last class anyway"

"Why did you tell him I was sick? What's your problem?"

_What's my fucking problem?_

Was she serious?

I slammed my back door shut and turned to look at her.

"Get in the car, Bella" I said with a serious tone.

Bella looked taken back. I had never spoken to her that way before. She simply nodded her head and got in the car. I took a deep breath before getting in and pulling out of the school parking lot.

For a long time, neither one of us said anything. I was too busy gripping the steering wheel and Bella was pulling at the ends of her hair. Knowing that Bella even for one second _thought_ that I would even consider being with Tanya after she said shit like that about her had me so fucking angry I couldn't see straight. After _everything_ we had been through together, fuck, how could she even think that? Did she really think that little of me?

"Um," Bella started softly. "All my things are still back at school in my locker."

"I'll take you back when we're done."

I could see out of the corner of my eye Bella biting her lip. My body stiffened because of the reaction my body was having to it. I put my foot down on the gas pedal to go faster.

"Where are we going?" she asked in a whispered voice.

I could tell she was hesitant to speak. I kept quiet and cracked my neck. Bella didn't try to talk after that. Ten minutes later, I pulled my car onto a dirt path leading into the woods. I heard Bella gasp and knew she recognized it.

I was taking her to our meadow.

I parked the car and got out. We'd have to walk the rest of the way.

"Um, Edward," Bella called out causing me to look back at her. "Your sister picked out my outfit today and, erm, these flats aren't exactly hiking worthy."

I looked over her outfit. She had on a blue blouse, dark skinny jeans, and black ballet flats. She looked beautiful.

Fuck.

What was going on with me? I never thought a girl was beautiful, or cute, or adorable, but with Bella, those words just came so easily.

I walked up to her and turned my back to her. "Hop on"

I had used to carry Bella around like that all the time. She had stopped it, saying she didn't want to hurt me cause of football, but I was questioning whether that was true or not.

Bella jumped up, wrapped her legs around my waist and I could feel her breasts on my back. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I started to walk, a little faster than normal, I couldn't help it, I wanted to get there quick.

"Edward, slow down!" Her grip on me became tighter. "I'm going to fall!"

"Then you better hang on tight, spider-monkey"

Bella giggled and pushed her face into my shoulder. We made it to the meadow in a matter of minutes. I let go of her legs so she could step to the ground. I just walked further into the meadow without looking back.

"I had forgotten how beautiful this was," I heard Bella mumble.

"It's been a while," I whispered.

I finally looked back at Bella to see her arms wrapped around herself as she looked around. It was a little chilly out and she left her sweater in my car. I shrugged out of my hoodie and walked up to her. She watched my face as I put it around her.

"Edward," Bella whispered, causing me to look down in her eyes. "Why are we here?"

I pulled the hoodie on her fully before running my hands through my hair. I took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eye.

"How could you _ever_ think that I would just... totally disregard the fact that she said what she said about you and just go with her?"

Bella looked at me shocked. She didn't expect that, I could tell. I watched her open and close her mouth a couple times, but nothing came out.

"I walked up to her and told her to never speak about you that way again then went to go look for you. I would _never _do... not to _you_, Bella. Never"

Her eyes looked glassy before she looked to the ground. "But why would give up that opportunity? Talking to her like that could ruin future... plans... with her"

I let out a huff. "I don't give a fuck about that, Bella."

"So, she didn't live up the standards for a repeat performance?"

My brows came together in confusion. "Bella?"

Bella shook her head and walked around me.

"You say that you would never but you already have." She pushed her hair out of her face and turned to look at me. "Remember last year when Rosalie got suspended? When she went after Tanya in the parking lot?"

I nodded.

"It was because Tanya had been starting with me since the moment she stepped foot in school. She was a complete bitch and lived to torture me. She only stopped because she set her sights on you."

My face went blank. I hadn't known anything about that. I knew Bella hated Tanya and that they had a few choice words before, but it had never been anything that bad and Bella had always blew it off. When the almost fight happened, I had always figured Rosalie went after her because of something to do with cheerleading.

"You never..."

Bella chuckled and cut me off. "Do you forget that I know you? You may have been able to fool other people, but you didn't fool me. I knew you wanted her, why would I stand in the way? Just because she picked on me like everyone else?"

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have never..." I stopped.

I didn't want her to know the truth. It didn't matter. I had still been with someone who treated Bella like shit, when I had promised I would never do that.

"I know about the blow job, Edward."

I officially wanted the world to open up and swallow me whole.

"The day of the BBQ at your house, when I first got there, I felt bad for how I acted towards you the night before and went up stairs to your room to apologize. I heard you explaining to Emmett about the _amazing_ blow job Tanya gave you. So, please don't say you would never disregard what she says to me when you already have."

My chest felt like it had a huge hole in it. I didn't know what to say. It seemed like everything I did in my life hurt her and I wanted to die cause of it. Tears stung my eyes as I watched her wipe her own tears away and turn away from me.

"That's why me thinking that isn't really that far fetched," she mumbled as she sat down on the ground.

Neither one of us said anything for a long time. She sat with her head down and I stood there and stared at her. I honestly felt like I was losing her, and it terrified me. Not having Bella in my life was _not_ a fucking option. I needed her in my life. She was like air, I required her to live. I slowly walked up behind her. I knew she knew I was there because her body tensed.

I had to tell her that I knew everything. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Bella..." I started but was cut off with her saying my name.

She turned her head back and looked at me. "I miss you."

My heart soared. "I miss you, too." I breathed as I fell to my knees behind her.

And I really fucking did.

She sat up on her knees and turned towards me. "Ever since that day things haven't been the same between us and I hate it. I just want my friend back. Can we just be us again? I really want that"

"I'm _so_ sorry, love. Please believe..."

Bella put her hands up to stop me. "No more apologizing. I forgive you."

A huge weight felt like it was lifted from my chest when she said she forgave me. There had been no reason for her to forgive me and I definitely didn't fucking deserve it, but she really had. She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Now, can I have my best friend back?""

A lump formed in my throat. I gave her a forced smile and a quick nod before she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in for a hug.

I hadn't been lying when I said I had missed her. I really did. But why did the thought of us going back to being normal make me hurt so much?


	12. Chapter 12

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**I own nothing as usual. And that's sad :(**

**BallarinaChic - Alice ... AWebber - Angela ... RedRose - Rosalie ... Baseballfan - Ben ... THE_LEGEND - Emmett ... CivilWarFreak - Jasper ... EAC_Lion - Edward ... BrwneyedLamb - Bella**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The next week with Edward had been the best and most confusing week ever. It all started with Sunday morning. We had been texting back and forth and I hated myself for feeling at little joy at the fact that he was home alone and didn't go meet up with some girl after he left my room. He sent me one of his usual dirty texts and I bit my lip. Would it hurt if I tried to flirt back? Could I actually flirt back? All of a sudden I heard Rosalie's voice in my head.

_Fuck yes you can, slut!_

I giggled and wrote out the text and hit send. His answering text didn't really give much away. I'm sure he was surprised at my response, but how was I supposed to respond now? Keep flirting or play it off? I wiggled my thumbs around as I tried to think of what to say back. I channeled my inner Rosalie and began to type.

_**Does Mr. Cullen need Nurse Swan come and make sure all his aches go away ;) – B**_

I stared at the text with my thumb hovering over the send button. Sending that text would answer any questions of whether or not I was flirting. It was huge. My heart pounded in my chest and my hands shook. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I was just about to hit send when Tanya's voice came to my mind.

_Edward would never be with someone like you._

I stopped. She was right. I had known Edward for years and these flirting texts were nothing out of ordinary. He flirted with _everyone._ It didn't mean anything. I sighed as I deleted the text.

_**Haha I'm just kidding, champ. I know you don't want to see your sister in something like that – B **_

Yeah, I took the easy way out. His answering text told me that my flirting text back would have been a really bad idea. I quickly typed back saying Jake had called, knowing he would stop after that. Anything that had to do with Jake would make Edward back off.

I had made myself useful around the house for the rest of the day until I went out to dinner with Emmett and my Dad. It was actually very entertaining, like it always was. Emmett spoke too loudly and moved his arms around like a crazy person as he told a story causing people to look at us, but my father and I were too busy laughing to care.

These men were my whole world.

"Really, Dad, she was amazing! People _loved_ her work. I mean, I had no doubt they would, but people were literally pushing each other out of the way to get to it!" Emmett exclaimed loudly.

I blushed and pushed my food around with my fork. "No they weren't, Em."

Emmett snorted. "Close to it, when I was at the food table I heard people talking about your work. The one woman was in love with the wolf you drew and really wanted it but said you wouldn't sell it."

"How come, Bells?" Charlie asked as he took a sip of his beer.

"I drew it for Jake and promised him he could have it. But he asked me to display it anyway."

"Where is Jake at anyway? He could have come tonight, I wouldn't have minded it."

Both Emmett and I tensed. I looked up at Emmett just as his eyes flickered over to me. I couldn't keep from Charlie forever that we had broken up. He was friends with his father, after all. Emmett shrugged his shoulders at me and I let out a sigh.

"Um, we actually, kind of... broke up, dad" I whispered.

"Did something happen? Did he do something to you?"

I rolled my eyes. He was in full blown cop mode.

"He didn't do anything," I mumbled.

Nope, he didn't. But I had. I couldn't get over my best friend and he knew it and got tired of it.

"Are you sure, Bella? Because if he did, you could tell me"

"Dad, relax. He didn't do anything," Emmett started. "I was there. It was kind of a... mutual break up."

_Yeah, that's a lie._

I was pretty sure if you had asked Jake he would have said that he didn't actually _want_ to break up with me.

Charlie raised his eyebrow and looked back and forth between me and Emmett. "Did you break up with him?"

I suppressed my groan. He was still in cop mode. "He broke up with me, dad"

"When?"

"Yesterday"

I heard Charlie gasp as his fork dropped onto his plate. "He broke up with you the day of your art show?"

I flinched. I had forgotten about that.

"That little shithead! I have half a mind to call Billy up..."

Both Emmett and I both started to protest.

"Please, don't!"

"Dad, not that serious... It's fine!"

Charlie lifted his hands in surrender. "Ok, fine. You both can stop."

Emmett and I let out a breath of relief.

"Are you ok though?" Charlie asked hesitantly.

I had to try and hide my smile. Charlie was an amazing father, but when it came to 'girl problems', he was a complete guy. When I was twelve, I had woken up one morning to blood all over my bed sheets and my stomach in the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life. I screamed for Charlie, causing both him and Emmett to coming running in. Emmett started to scream when he saw the blood, and then started to cry hysterically thinking I was dying. Charlie stuttered the entire time trying to explain to me what was going on before he finally picked up the phone and asked Billy to send his daughter, Rebecca, over to help me. Two hours later, I had a drawer full of pads, complete knowledge of what a period was, and was lying in bed with my new heating pad firmly in place. He checked on me and always had new pain medicine for me every four hours with a fresh cup of hot chocolate.

Another thing in my life that my own mother should have been there for, but, of course, wasn't. I shook my head to get thoughts of her out of my head.

"I'm ok, Dad," I gave him a small smile.

He looked me over to make sure I was telling the truth before giving me a nod and going back to his meal.

"Of course she's ok!" Emmett yelled out. "You think Jacob would be alive right now if he hurt her?"

I rolled my eyes as Charlie chuckled. The rest of the dinner had gone by filled with jokes and lots of laughter. My face had hurt from smiling so much.

When I had gotten home, I signed onto my Facebook. Nothing very interesting was going on and I was about to log off when my profile picture caught my eye. It was a picture of me and Jake. We had been walking towards the clearing to play baseball when Alice had called our names. We both looked back and she took the picture. A lump formed in my throat. This was the part of "social networks" I hated.

Of course both mine and Jake's page stated we were in a relationship with one another, the excitement he showed when I accepted the request was too cute, but now I didn't know what to do. Obviously, Jake hadn't changed his yet and his profile picture was still of me and him from one night at the movies. I didn't want to be the one to change it, I had hurt him enough already. I was about to log off when a message popped up in my window.

_Alice Cullen has invited you to a group chat. _

I hit except and was surprised to see everyone in there. I jumped when my computer started going crazy with chimes.

**BallarinaChic: BEELLLLAAAAAA**

**AWebber200: Perfect timing Bella!**

**RedRose: Where the hell have you been, skank?**

**Baseballfan: Real nice, Rose lol**

**THE _LEGEND: BELLLSSSS, BRING ME SOMEE CHIPPPSSSS!**

**CivilWarFreak: Don't bring him chips!**

**EAC_Lion: about time you showed up, Bella! :)**

I smiled when I saw his screen name. I had chosen it for him because he couldn't decide and he had chosen mine.

**BrwneyedLamb: Am I late for the party? And Emmett, you're in your freaking room! Go get your own chips!**

**THE_LEGEND: Too far! I want chips!**

**BallarinaChic: You need help, Em!**

Emmett started screaming my name from his room begging for chips and I couldn't help but laugh.

**RedRose: If you get him chips, Bella, I'll never speak to you again!**

**AWebber200: hahaha**

**THE _LEGEND: You guys aren't right!**

**EAC_Lion: Lazy ass.**

**CivilWarFreak: Emmett, where do you put it all?**

**BrwneyedLamb: His stomach is endless.**

**BaseballFan: He's like a human garbage disposal. **

**RedRose: Chips isn't all he eats! ;)**

**BallarinaChic: GAH! Rose!**

**CivilWarFreak: I don't want to hear that shit**

**BaseballFan: wow, Rose lol**

**Awebber200: No comment!**

**EAC_Lion: So proud, Em!**

**BrwneyedLamb: ugh! I'm with Jasper.**

**THE_LEGEND: You know it, Rosie-baby!**

**BrwneyedLamb: Someone please change the subject!**

**Awebber200: There is a reason I wanted you all here right now!**

**BallerinaChic: This is pretty entertaining!**

**BrwneyedLamb: I actually threw up in my mouth a little bit.**

**RedRose: Oh, Bella, Don't act innocent ;)**

I blushed and reminded myself to kill Rose next time I saw her. Alice, Rosalie, and Angela were the only one's that knew of my semi-sexual life. Jacob and I had been dating for over a month, of course we did stuff together. The first time he touched my breast, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I could always feel his erection pressing into me when we made out and I wasn't entirely innocent either. At first it _was_ just innocent, over the shirt touching, grinding of the hips, nothing too spectacular. Until one night we were alone in his house watching a movie. We ended up lying on the couch with Jacob on top of me and both of our shirts off. I remember how he fumbled with the button on my jeans and I had to help him out. His fingers were inside of me almost immediately. He plunged them in and out of me at such a fast pace I almost didn't feel it. It did feel good, but it wasn't enough. I remember feeling so frustrated that I wanted to scream. I was going to tell him to stop when he grabbed my hand and put it on the buckle of his pants. The whole encounter ended with him exploding on my hand within minutes and me feeling aroused and tense. I didn't have the heart to tell him because he seemed so pleased with himself. We did it a couple more times but it always ended exactly the same.

I was brought out of my thoughts when my computer pinged.

**BallarinaChic: BOWCHICA-BOW-BOW!**

**THE_LEGEND: SUBJECT CHANGE NOW!**

**CivilWarFreak: lol**

**BaseballFan: lol**

**Awebber200: i remember some interesting stories ;)**

**EAC_Lion: I'm with Emmett.**

I frowned at Edward's comment. I hated that it hurt to see him write that. Of course he didn't want to hear about stuff like that with me, I was like family.

**Awebber200: I was wondering if you guys would mind modeling for me again this weekend. I wanted some new pieces for the show next week and everyone loved your photos from the summer. PLEASEEE**

**BallarinaChic: AHHHHH! WE'LL GO SHOPPING THURSDAY!**

**CivilWarFreak: I'm in.**

**RedRose: I'm free Saturday.**

**THE_LEGEND: CAN I BE NAKED THIS TIME?**

**EAC_Lion: If Em's naked, I'm naked.**

**CivilWarFreak: Aw, hell, then I'm being naked too!**

My heart fluttered at the thought of Edward naked. I shook my head and laughed at my friends responses.

**BallerinaChic: NO ONE IS BEING NAKED!**

**RedRose: We don't want to scare the people at the art show, guys!**

**BaseballFan: If the guys are naked I'm taking off of work and being naked too!**

**Awebber200: no one is allowed to be naked!**

**THE _LEGEND: TAKE OFF OF WORK BEN! LET'S DO THIS SHIT!**

**RedRose: You all do realize you're talking about being naked together? ALL GUYS!**

**EAC_Lion: We're down with sausage parties.**

**CivilWarFreak: What do you girls think we do when you're not around?**

**BrwneyedLamb: I KNEW IT!**

**RedRose: hahaha**

**Awebber200: lol**

**THE_LEGEND: NAKED PHOTO SHOOT HERE WE COME!**

**BallerinaChic: NO NAKEDNESS! I'll pick out all the outfits!**

**Awebber200: Thanks, Alice :)**

**BrwneyedLamb: Please no dresses! **

**BallerinaChic: Yes, dresses, Bella!**

I groaned and rolled my eyes. There was no use in fighting it. Alice would make me wear whatever she wanted. I chatted with everyone for a little while longer before logging off. Edward called me almost immediately. We stayed on the phone for hours, talking about nothing in particular. I loved every second of it. It had been a while since we did that. We got off the phone with the agreement that he would pick me up for school the next day. Monday was just like any other day and things between Edward and I almost seemed back to normal, but I knew I was still holding myself back. I didn't want to get hurt again. Maybe that was why I hadn't told him about me and Jake.

On Tuesday, I was putting my books in my locker when I caught Lauren Mallory walking down the hallway, and then sneak into the janitor's closet. My heart ached when I saw Edward look around and then follow her. But instead of the tears that I expected, I felt a weird sense of acceptance. I hated it. I heard the first bell ring and decided I wasn't in the mood for calculus. I just wanted to escape into my book and forget about accepting the fact that Edward would never change. I pulled a book out of my locker and put it in my bag when I heard the voice that made my inwardly cringe.

"Bella!"

I forced a smile. "Hey, Mike. What's up?"

"So, I heard you and Jacob are on the outs"

My jaw dropped. How the hell did he know that? The only people that knew were my closest friends and Jake, and none of them would tell Mike Newtown.

Mike saw my confused look and began to explain, "Jessica's mom overheard Jake and his friends talking at the grocery store last night."

My jaw clenched. If there was anyone that was worse with gossip than Jessica, it was her mother. Like mother like daughter.

"Anyway, I was wondering since you guys are... ya know... you might want to go see a movie with me?"

My eyes widened and Mike mistook my shock for him trying to ask me out _again¸_ for excitement of him asking me out.

"Mike..."

"There's the new one called Love Spelled Backwards is Love," I raised my eyebrows at the title and Mike shook his head. "Dumb title, I know. But I heard it's a pretty good movie. So I think we should go see it"

I closed my locker and turned towards him, prepared to let him down when Mike looked over my shoulder, and his face went hard.

"Cullen," he said through clenched teeth.

I turned around to see Edward standing behind me, leaning against the lockers, with his arms crossed across his chest.

He looked so sexy.

I had been too busy checking out Edward's lickable arms that I missed their entire conversation. I was only brought out of my thoughts when I heard Edward say my name.

"Bella, do you want to go see that movie with Mike?"

I bit my lip and looked down. He knew I didn't want to go to the movies with him any more than I wanted to wear high heels. I turned to Mike and gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry, Mike. I don't think Jake would appreciate that."

It wasn't exactly a lie. Even though we were broken up, pretty sure he didn't want me dating other people.

Mike's face fell then his brow came together in confusion. "But I thought..."

I opened my mouth to cut him off before he could announce our break up when Edward interrupted. I rolled my eyes at their tough guy act, but quickly realized I had to do something before things escalated. I put my hands on Edward's chest, said a quick goodbye to Mike and pulled Edward down the hallway with me. Seriously, I would never understand guys and their need to one up each other.

Edward and I talked back and forth and I couldn't help but giggle at the shock in his voice when I told him I was skipping class. We continued to walk down the hallway when I made it appoint to stop in front of the janitor's closet.

"It's not my first time skipping class, Edward. And don't you have someone waiting for you?" I asked with a nod towards the door.

Edward looked back at the door then looked back at me. He wouldn't give up free sex if his life depended on it.

"Go ahead. I'm just going to read anyway"

I forced the smile on my face. I once again hated myself for being so accepting. I turned and continued to walk. I was positive seeing Edward go into the closet would cause the ache in my chest to grow bigger.

My jaw dropped and I stopped walking when I heard Edward scream from behind me, "Bella! Wait up!"

I was in such a state of shock that Edward chose to hang out with me instead of go bang some slut in a closet; I couldn't even remember how we got to the bleachers. I just knew that we were together, talking, laughing, and I loved every second of it.

We were both coming down for our laughter and were sitting in silence for a couple seconds before I plucked up the courage to ask him why he chose to hang out with me instead of going to Lauren. He avoided the question by remembering at that exact moment that I had told him this wasn't my first time skipping class. I had skipped class plenty of times when I saw Edward sneak off with some bimbo and knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together for an entire class. But I wasn't telling him that. I made some excuse about going out to eat with Jake and he bought it.

I watched as he nodded, cracked his head, and turned the other way. I brought up the original subject again, trying to throw in a little joke and was stunned with his answer.

"You know, it hurts my feelings that you think I'd rather have sex then hang out with you."

Before my brain realized what my mouth was doing I said, "Well, from past experience..."

Edward looked over at me and my breath caught in my throat. His eyes held so much guilt and pain and his whispered sorry sounded like he was in agony. I just swallowed and nodded, afraid that if I opened my mouth, something stupid would come out. That's when I realized he had been apologizing to me a lot lately and I called him out on it. It wasn't like him. It seemed like almost every other word out of his mouth was 'sorry'. Edward just shrugged his shoulders and looked out on the field.

"You need to get laid, Cullen." I said with a chuckle, trying to ease the mood again.

It was the wrong thing to say because it opened up a flood of questions he had. I blushed and tried to brush them off but he wouldn't give up.

"Why not? I've told you all my stuff!" Edward stated and I flinched.

Oh yes, I had remembered all of the intimate details Edward told me about his past sexual experiences and wished I could forget every single one of them. Once again, I tried to blow him off but he wouldn't let up. I felt like my face was on fire when he asked me about oral. I was not opposed to giving oral. I never did to Jake, but it wasn't like it was because I didn't like it. I just felt that some things should be saved for someone special and even though Jake was special to me, he never felt like _that_ kind of special. I explained how I felt to Edward and watched as he stared at me with a blank expression.

"I know you probably think that's stupid," I started. "But it's what I feel."

"I don't think it's stupid, love. I actually agree with you."

My heart skipped a beat when he called me love, but I covered it with a snort and a snide comment.

"Yes, coming from Mr. Man-whore himself."

The questioning about what I had done came back and I was starting to get pissed off. I glared at him as he told me he wasn't going to give up. I let out a huff and decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"He fingered me and I jerked him off."

If I had a camera on me, I would have taken a picture of Edward's shocked face. His jaw dropped and his eyes went wide. I could tell he wasn't expecting that. To him, I was sweet innocent Bella that never let anyone touch me inappropriately and I just dropped a bomb in his lap.

_How do you like those apples, Cullen?_

I cringed when I heard the slut's, I mean Tanya's, voice call out to _Eddie._ She asked him if he came out here to see her during gym class like I wasn't even fucking there. I pictured stabbing her eyes out with a pen. When Edward mentioned my name, she blinked and looked over at me like she was seeing me for the first time. I hated the way she said my name, in that high pitched squeaky voice that only dogs could hear, it made my skin run cold. I listened as the slut, I mean Tanya, invited Edward over after school and emphasizing on the word suck.

That was enough for me.

I started to pack my bag before I exploded. I didn't need a reminder of them two being together.

I had just stood up and put my bag over my shoulder when I heard her screech, "You'd rather hang out with that mousy little freak than me?"

I stomped down the bleachers and past Tanya as I slammed my shoulder into her causing her to stumble back. If I didn't leave then I would tare her eyes out. I never did _anything_ to her and she automatically decided she was better than me.

I told myself to keep walking without looking back, but I was a masochist, and I wanted to see what Edward was doing. My heart stopped when I saw him standing practically on top of Tanya, their faces inches apart. I couldn't stop the tears as they came to my eyes and ran to the bathroom. I pushed passed people, heaving heavily, while tears poured down my face. I slammed into the bathroom and went to the first open stall. My entire lunch emptied out into the toilet.

I felt like I was having a panic attack.

He stayed with her.

He _stayed_ with her.

After she said what she said about me, he _actually_ stayed with her.

Edward _never_ did that to me.

When did I become so obsolete to him? Edward was like family. No, he _was_ family and my own personal protector, other than Emmett. If a girl treated me badly, they were no longer on Edward's radar.

Perfect example, Jane Volttera.

Jane, like every other girl, fell in love with Edward when he first showed up at Forks High. She refused to go near him since he was a freshman and she was a junior, but when he became a sophomore and she was a senior, she set her sights out. I remembered Edward telling me all about her and how they were suppose to go to a party together. He thought she was 'so hot' and couldn't wait to 'get it on' with her.

It was the end of my first week as a freshman and I was walking out to the parking lot to meet Alice and her Dad to go home. I had just stepped off the last step when I tripped over something, causing all my books and papers to go falling. I was going to chalk it up to my own clumsiness when I heard the giggles behind me. Jane stood there with her flock of chickens pointing and laughing. Before I could even stand up, Edward was there screaming in her face. Telling her that she was rude and if she ever did anything like that again she would regret it. He never spoke to her again.

But now, he didn't even care.

Tanya was so much worse than Jane ever was and he still went for her. What was it about _her_ that was so different?

Grant it, I kept most of Tanya's torturing a secret and she only did it when he wasn't around, but still. _Everyone_ knew we hated each other and he had been present for some of our arguments.

What had changed?

I wiped my mouth with tissue and flushed the toilet. I listened to see if anyone else was in the bathroom and thanked whoever was listening that I was alone. I walked out of the stall and looked at myself in the mirror. Tears were still coming down my face and I hadn't even noticed that I was sobbing.

I had watched for years as Edward whored himself out to hundreds of girls, and even though I loved him, and it hurt to watch him, I was still a little happy to know that even if he didn't want me, I was still someone important in his life.

But now it seemed like I was no one and that hurt worse than any pain in the world.

I heard the bell ring just as I splashed water on my face. Normally, I would be glad for the distraction class would give but the next class was my class with Edward. A class I had used to look forward to and had been sp happy I had gotten in the beginning of the year; I had even let out a very Alice like squeal. But now, I was dreading it.

After a couple of seconds of trying to make myself look presentable, I gave up and made my way towards classroom. My heart broke even more to see that Edward wasn't at our table. It meant that he was still with _her._

I hadn't registered the fact that Edward had showed up until I heard the sound of his stool moving as he sat down. I kept my head down.

"Where did you go? I've been looking everywhere for you"

My body tensed.

He had been looking for me?

But I thought he was with her...

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. He had been looking for me, he hadn't stayed with her. I kept my eyes down as I told him the bathroom. I was so ashamed of myself.

Yes, Edward was a man-whore, but I should have known better. Tears came back to my eyes as he told me not to listen to anything she had to say. I just nodded and sniffled because my nose was running.

I jumped when he grabbed my arm. "Bella, look at me."

I shook my head. I couldn't. I didn't want him to see my tears. I should have known he wouldn't let it go. Edward grabbed my chin and I hated my traitor body for humming at his touch. When my eyes connected with his, I knew he could see that I had been crying. My heart soared when he called me love and told me she wasn't worth it.

Did he really believe that?

I shook my head and told him I didn't care what she had to say about me. It was true; she could say anything she wanted. She was no one to me.

"Then why?" he asked confused as he rubbed his thumb across my jaw.

I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling. Every time he touched me, my body warmed. I licked my lips and looked back up at him.

"I thought you stayed with her. When I looked back you were standing close and talking to her. I thought you might have taken her up on her offer."

Edward's face went blank. We just stared at each other for what seemed like ages. I watched as he opened his mouth but Mr. Banner came into class telling everyone to calm down.

I let out a sigh of relief and turned forward in my seat. At least I could have a little time before I had to explain myself to him. Although, he had to have said something to her, something intimate, why else would he be that close to her?

Edward jumped out of his seat and went up to Mr. Banner. I couldn't hear what they were saying because they were whispering. I watched the teacher look over at me then nod, before Edward came back over to our table. He grabbed his book bag and then my own.

"Let's go!" he hissed.

I hesitated but jumped up and followed him when I saw the look in his eyes. He looked so angry. I asked him what his problem was but he didn't answer me. He just kept walking. It was hard to keep up with him as he slammed out the door and went towards the parking lot.

"Are you going to answer me or are you just going to ignore me?" I asked irritated.

He didn't answer; of course, he just unlocked his car and threw our bags in the back.

"Edward!" I screamed which finally caused him to stop moving. "We were in the middle of class, we can't just leave."

Edward kept his back to me and explained what he told Banner.

"Why did you tell him I was sick? What's your problem?"

I jumped when he slammed the car door shut and turned to look at me. He told me to get in the car with a tone that scared me. I had never seen Edward this mad before and especially at me. I didn't say anything and just got in the car. I might have nodded, I'm not sure. We drove in silence. It was so quite I was sure Edward could hear my heart beating through my chest. I tried to open my mouth and say something to him about a dozen times, but nothing came to mind. I looked out the window and stared at the passing trees when I realized that my house keys, wallet, and cell phone were back at school.

"Um," yeah, that was how I started. "All my things are still back at school in my locker."

"I'll take you back when we're done." Edward said in a clipped tone.

I bit my lip and chanced a look at him. It must have been the wrong idea because he just pushed on the gas pedal to make the car go faster. He still never explained where we were going and I was getting kind of nervous. He was being _extremely_ quiet.

I tried to ask him where we were going again but he didn't say a word. He just cracked his neck and stared at the road. My eyes went wide and I looked back down at my lap. Edward cracking his neck was never a good thing. He only did it when he felt he was about to explode, he said it somehow calmed him down. I kept my head down until I felt the road change under the tires. When I looked up, I couldn't help but gasp.

I knew exactly where he was taking us.

Our meadow.

We hadn't been there in so long; I had started to think he had forgotten about it. It was our own little piece of heaven. Edward parked the car in its usual spot and we both got out. I grimaced when I saw the woods were muddy. Of course they were it rained almost every five seconds in Forks. I regretted letting Alice pick out my outfit that morning even more. There was no way I could hike that trail in ballet flats. I called out to Edward and explained to him my dilemma. Sadness seeped through me because I really wanted to go there with him.

Edward shocked the hell out of me by simply walking up to me, turning around and telling me to get on his back. My mouth popped open. Edward hadn't carried me around on his back in years. I gave some lame excuse about not wanting to hurt him cause of his football, but it was really because it was hard to control myself with my body wrapped around his own. I knew the dangers of doing it again, but every part of my being was begging me to. When my legs wrapped around his waist, I closed my eyes in content.

Why did just touching him have to make me feel so complete?

Edward took off as soon as I was situated. I wanted to say he was walking, but he was practically jogging through the forest, causing me to bounce up and down. I gripped him tighter and told him to slow down or I was going to fall.

Edward turned his head and I could feel his breath on my lips. "Then you better hang on tight, spider-monkey"

I giggled and pushed my face into his shoulder. Edward always used to call me his little spider-monkey when we were kids because I was constantly climbing something. As soon as we got to the meadow, Edward let go of my legs and I reluctantly detangled myself from him.

The meadow was seriously breathtaking. It seemed to be the only spot in Forks that was always sunny. The flowers were still in bloom and blowing in the wind. I wrapped my arms around myself as I felt a chill.

I had forgotten how beautiful this place was.

I didn't realize I had said that out loud until I heard Edward whisper, "It's been a while."

Edward looked back at me before shrugging his hoodie off and wrapping it around my shoulders. I pulled my arms through the sleeves, my hands didn't even poke out because they were too long, but I didn't care. I loved wearing Edward's clothes. I studied his face as he pulled it securely around me. I couldn't decipher what I saw there. It looked like pain with a hint of quilt. He wasn't looking into my eyes though, and it hurt.

I whispered his name and he finally made contact. "Why are we here?"

Edward unnecessarily pulled the hoodie across my chest once more before running his hand through his beautiful hair. My mouth fell open in shock when he asked me, his voice filled with hurt, how I could ever think he would do something like that to me. I tried to speak, but no words came out. He told me what he said to her and tears came to my eyes. I looked to the ground and asked him why.

Edward let out a huff. "I don't give a fuck about that, Bella."

Before I had even registered what words were coming out of my mouth, I made a smart ass comment about Tanya not living up to a repeat performance. I could feel the confusion coming off him and shook my head as I walked around him. He needed to know the truth.

"You say that you would never but you already have. Remember last year when Rosalie got suspended? When she went after Tanya in the parking lot?"

He just stared at me confused, but nodded.

"It was because Tanya had been starting with me since the moment she stepped foot in school. She was a complete bitch and lived to torture me. She only stopped because she set her sights on you."

"You never..."

"Do you forget that I know you? You may have been able to fool other people, but you didn't fool me. I knew you wanted her, why would I stand in the way? Just because she picked on me like everyone else?"

The way he used to look at her still haunted my thoughts. He had played it off really well, everyone thought he could care less about her, but I knew he thought she was hot just like everyone else did.

Edward asked me why I didn't tell him then mumbled something about he would have never but stopped himself. He still didn't know I knew the _whole_ truth about what happened between them.

"I know about the blow job, Edward."

Edward just stared at me and a lumped formed in my throat.

"The day of the BBQ at your house, when I first got there, I felt bad for how I acted towards you the night before and went up stairs to your room to apologize. I heard you explaining to Emmett about the _amazing_ blow job Tanya gave you. So, please don't say you would never disregard what she says to me when you already have."

A lonely tear escaped my eye and I had to turn away from him as I wiped it away.

"That's why me thinking that isn't really that far fetched," I mumbled mostly to myself before I sat on the ground.

It was cold and a little wet, but I was afraid my knees were going to give out on me any second, so I had to do something. I stared at the flowers in the grass not saying a single word.

Ok, yes, I was in love with my best friend.

Yes, it hurt to hear about him get a blow job and how _amazing_ it was.

But it hurt twenty times worse because it was with her. The one person I truly hated.

And none of that really mattered anymore. I hated feeling this way, I hated being miserable all the time. At least when I was pretending that friendship was all I wanted from him, he was actually in my life.

I missed just being us.

I heard him say my name, but I cut him off by looking at him over my shoulder. "I miss you."

The beautiful small smile that I loved so much came to Edward's face as he whispered he missed me too, before falling to his knees.

I quickly turned around and sat up on my knees as well. "Ever since that day things haven't been the same between us and I hate it. I just want my friend back. Can we just be us again? I really want that"

He began to apologize and I put my hands up. I didn't want him to apologize anymore. It wasn't his fault that I had fallen in love with him and he didn't feel the same way. I couldn't keep blaming him for continuing to be 'just friends' with me when that's all we ever were. I told him I forgave him and his body literally sagged in relief that I couldn't help but smile. He answering smiling was breathtaking.

"Now can I have my best friend back?" I asked shyly.

If that was the only way I could have Edward Cullen in my life, then I was going to take it. He gave me a smile and a nod before I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

Maybe one day I would get over Edward and move on, but I knew that day wasn't anywhere in the near future.

I just sat there feeling utterly happy in the arms of the man I was in love with and finally content with the fact that we would never be more than just friends.


	13. Chapter 13

****unBETA'd****

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* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I picked up the yellow sunglasses Alice had left on my dresser and put them on. I had to hand it to my sister, when it came to fashion, she did have pretty good taste. The outfit I had on was simple, it consisted of my own black slacks and suit jacket and a white t-shirt with some kind of design on it, don't ask me what, I didn't know. Alice picked it out. That was for the main group picture. She also had white slacks, a white shirt, and a black pin stripe jacket for me to wear when Angela took pictures of just us guys. Normally, any guy would hate doing something like this, but me, Emmett and Jasper loved it. Angela didn't bark orders at us or make us do ridiculous poses, she let us be ourselves, and joke around, and the pictures turned out great.

Also, I loved how all the girls drooled over my pictures and begged Angela for a copy. It made my day.

"Let's go! We're going to be late!" Alice yelled as she busted through my door.

I shook my head with a chuckle. "Al, Angela asked us to be there at three. It's two thirty. It takes about ten minutes to get there. _Relax!"_

She glared which caused me to roll my eyes. I grabbed my wallet and keys and turned towards her.

"Well," I started as I gestured towards the door. "Let's go"

She squealed so loudly that I thought she might have blew out one of my ear drums, and ran down the stairs, which amazed me to no end since she had on stiletto heels. How girls wore them was beyond me. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw Alice give our dad a hug and a kiss before bolting out the front door.

"Son," my father greeted me as he looked over my outfit. "Is this what constitutes as fashion now a days?"

"According to your daughter"

Dad chuckled and nodded his head. "Yes, well, she is a pistol. How anyone will stand to look at her for more than five seconds with that sequence top on will be a mystery."

I laughed. My father patted me on the back, reminded me to tell Angela to make copies for my mother, and then continued on his way into the house. I walked outside and saw Alice practically vibrating with excitement next to my car. The beeping sound of my car unlocking wasn't even finished before she ripped the door open and got in.

"Are we picking anyone else up?" I asked as I backed out of our driveway.

"Nope, Jasper's driving because I'm just going to leave with him and Rosalie is getting a ride with Emmett and Bella."

My entire body hummed at the sound of her name. The past week with Bella had been amazing. We had spent almost every waking moment together. Ever since our talk in the meadow, things had gone completely back to normal. I loved it. Sure, there was still that voice in the back of my head that told me I should tell Bella that I knew how she felt about me, or how she use to feel about me, I still wasn't sure if she still felt that way or not, but I ignored it.

"Are you even listening to me?" Alice asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?"

I saw from the corner of my eye my sister roll her eyes and shake her head. Instead of continuing with her story, she sat up and started to fiddle with the radio.

"Real nice, big bro"

"Sorry. I zoned out for a second there. What were you saying?"

"I was just saying how awesome everyone is going to look today! Most of the stuff every one is wearing is stuff they already owned, well, everyone except Bella"

That caught my attention. I had been wondering about Bella's outfit ever since I had received that text from her earlier in the day when Alice was over there helping her get ready.

_**Your sister wants me to kill her. I think she enjoys torturing me, but soon, I'm going to crack! – B**_

I had laughed out loud when I read it. I could picture Bella sitting there with a murderous look on her face while Alice was completely unaware.

"What's Bella wearing?" I asked, interrupting her ramblings.

I swear she took speed every day.

I saw Alice look at me and turned my head fully expecting to see a pissed off look on her face for interrupting her, but saw her face filled with amusement.

"What?"

Why the hell was she looking at me like that?

Alice shook her head and looked out the window without saying anything. It pissed me off. I was just about to ask her why she didn't answer me when she started bouncing up and down in her seat.

"We're here! We're here! Look how amazing everyone looks!"

Note to self: Talk to parents about prescribing sister Ritalin.

I put my car in park and looked up. All of the air escaped my lungs and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Standing a couple feet away from my car was Bella. She looked _so_ fucking gorgeous. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail that sat high on her head, black sunglasses covered her beautiful eyes, her lips we stained in the sexiest red I had ever seen and she was wearing a creamed color dress that ended mid thigh, with a belt around her waist. To top it off, she had on a pair of black heels that made her delicious legs look fuckably long. I think I may have even groaned when my eyes traveled down them.

Bella turned towards my car, waved and smiled at me.

"Fuck," I breathed out.

Her smile made the outfit look even sexier. I watched her forehead scrunch together in confusion as she looked at me.

"Um, Edward, when you're done staring at Bella, you might want to join the rest of us," Alice whispered through the passenger side window.

I hadn't even noticed she had gotten out of the car, let alone shut the door. I looked over at Alice, mouth agape. She just giggled, winked at me, and ran off to everyone else. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, turned my car off and got out.

Bella was standing there waiting for me.

"Everything ok?" She asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah, why?"

"I waved you didn't wave back"

I stared at her lips as she spoke. I wanted to taste them so bad. Bella said my name, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Ugh, yea..." I cleared my throat. "Sorry. Sun was in my eyes, didn't see you wave."

"Yeah it is abnormally sunny today. I was afraid you thought I looked stupid or something"

"You do _not_ look stupid" I quickly said.

Bella's eyebrows raised in amusement, as she bit her lip. "You sure? You don't think it's too much?"

I shook my head. "Not at all, you look beautiful." I whispered.

A small tint of pink came to her cheeks as she looked down towards the ground. I wanted to say something more, but we were interrupted by a pixie on crack telling us that we needed to start. Angela moved us to the middle of the yard. We were at her Uncle's farm which had a little cabin located on the land. It was a pretty nice looking spot, but it was nothing like our meadow.

"The weather isn't supposed to hold up for very long, so if we could try and get this done as quickly as possible, that would be great!" Angela asked with a smile.

She moved us in different positions and told us where to stand. I was next to Bella the entire time and couldn't have been happier. We all laughed as Emmett did obscene gestures, Alice yelling for everyone to be serious, and Bella literally trying not to break her neck in her heels. In the time frame of five minutes, I think she had fallen almost eight times. I was there to catch her each time, of course. After a couple hundred shots, Angela asked us to move towards the cabin. I was going to offer to help Bella over there, but Emmett grabbed her and lifted her up carrying her over.

The day was perfect. All of us together, laughing, joking around. Alice even started to loosen up a bit when Angela assured her that she had gotten some really good serious shots. We had been there for almost an hour and a half when Alice told me I should go change.

Bella turned to look at me with an amused face and took off her sunglasses. "Change?"

I rolled my eyes. "Apparently, I need _two_ outfits instead of one."

She giggled as she wrapped her arms around herself. True to its nature, Forks was starting to get chilly and the sun wasn't as bright as it used to be. I quickly stripped off my suit jacket and handed it to her.

"Alice is going to kill you. She'll never let me wear this"

"You let me deal with my sister, ok? You're cold. You should wear it."

"But what about you, won't you be cold?"

"Even if it was below zero out, I would still give you my jacket so you could be warm"

Bella's mouth fell open and my eyes went wide. I couldn't believe I had actually said that. More importantly, I couldn't believe how true it was. I would gladly give up every scarp of clothing I had just so she could stay warm.

"Besides, my new outfit has another jacket with it," I said quickly.

Bella nodded and took the jacket from my hands. I mumbled something about changing and ran into the cabin for cover.

My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. I didn't really understand what was happening to me. It was the first time I had said something like that to Bella and I was actually scared of her response. What if it was too much? What if it scared her? I quickly changed; throwing my old clothes into the bag Alice had brought and walked out. I looked around for Bella but was distracted when Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the guys.

I stood there for the pictures, smiled when I needed to, and laughed when Emmett made a joke, but I was secretly scanning the area to try and find where Bella had gone. I finally found her leaning against an old tree in the shade.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I was walking over towards her, completely ignoring my sister calling out my name. It was like a magnet was pulling me and I couldn't control myself.

"She's going to kill you," Bella said in a sing-songed voice.

I shrugged my shoulders. "She'll get over it. You ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to bring up what I said so I just shrugged my shoulders again. We both stood there in silence, Bella looking at me waiting for me to say something, and me not knowing what to say. I turned back to the group to see how mad my sister was, but she was already ordering Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie around.

I leaned my back against the tree. "See, she got over it."

Bella giggled and nodded in agreement. As we stood there and talked about nothing in particular, I made it appoint to try and be funny. I was addicted to Bella's laugh. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. I wanted to ask her to hang out with me that night, but I knew everyone planned on going out to eat after we were done. It wasn't like I wasn't hungry, I could eat, but I just wanted to spend time alone with Bella instead of the entire group. I debated on asking her when she beat me to it.

"Are you going out to eat with everyone afterwards?"

"Are you?" I tried to contain my excitement but I failed.

I was shocked when Bella shook her head no, but then got excited again. If she wasn't going out with anyone we could do something together.

"Let's do something! We can grab a movie, or go see a movie, or go to the bowling alley... your pick."

Bella looked over at me and gave me a small smile. "I can't. I have plans with Jake."

My good mood was demolished with five words. Rage ran through my veins and I tried to control my breathing. She was allowed to make plans with her boyfriend, who was I to say any different? I clenched my jaw and looked straight a head.

"What's the matter?"

I didn't say anything and just looked ahead. I knew if I opened my mouth I would say something I would regret. I fucking hated the fact that she was still with him, it really got to me in a bad way.

"You're seriously going to be pissed off at me now?"

"Who's pissed off?" I asked in a clipped tone.

"Edward, I made these plans two days ago. I can't back out of them"

"Do whatever you want, Bella." I mumbled, still not looking at her.

"Unbelievable," she said under her breath. "You know, you have no right to be pissed. I don't even understand why you are. It's not like we had plans."

"Excuse me; I didn't know I had to schedule a time to see you. Do you have a calendar that I can mark down my appointments?" I asked sarcastically.

There I was, afraid how her reaction was going to be over something I said, and she was going to run off with her boyfriend. If that didn't tell me she moved on, nothing else would. I opened my mouth to say something else when I saw Jacob _fucking _Black's car pull up. I let out a dry chuckle and motioned to it.

"Run along, don't want to keep the dog waiting."

Bella's mouth fell open as she stared at me. I could feel the weight of her stare and finally gave in and looked over at her. Her eyes shined with unshed tears and all the anger left my body. I had hurt her again.

"Bella," I started as I pushed off the tree but she just shook her head, turned around and walked towards the car.

"Bella, wait! Come on, I'm sorry!" I called out.

I was well aware everyone was now staring at us but I didn't care. I called out to her again but she continued to walk.

"Do me a favor, Cullen," she called out as she opened the passenger door. "Next time you want to talk to me, call my secretary. I'll try and pencil you in."

I jogged up to the car just as she slammed the door shut. "Bella!"

"Drive!" I heard her say before the car started to back up.

I called her name one more time but she refused to look at me. Just as the car turned, I looked over at Jacob and saw him give me a shit eating grin, then drive off. My blood boiled and my fists clenched at my sides. I ran into the cabin to grab my cell phone from my bag to try and call her only to find out I had left it at home.

"Fuck!" I screamed as I threw the bag down.

I was breathing heavy and my adrenaline was racing. I wanted to go wipe that smart ass smirk right off that dogs face. Instead, I settled for anything in my path. On the floor was a rotted, old, bench. I started to kick the bench, rejoicing as the wood broke under my feet. I stumbled back when it was completely destroyed and bumped into an old, wooden lawn chair. I grabbed the chair and started to slam it down on the ground. I tossed the broken chair across the room and slammed my fist into the closest wall.

"Shit!" I screamed as the pain shot through my fist.

I pulled it away to see it was split open and already three sizes too big.

"You want to tell me what the fuck that was about?"

I snapped my head up to see Emmett standing at the door with his fists clenched.

"I fucked up," I mumbled and looked towards the ground.

"You seem to be doing that a lot lately with my sister"

I chuckled, dryly.

_No shit._

"It's getting old, Edward. I've kept my mouth shut for a long time, but I'm tired of it. She's my fucking sister," he hissed.

I clenched my teeth and glared at him. I wanted to open my mouth, but I knew better. He was right.

"Figure out what you want and stop with the fucking games, and do it fast," he barked before turning around and storming out of the room.

I pulled at my hair as I leaned against the wall and slid to the ground, bringing my knees up to my body. I really couldn't do anything right when it came to Bella. In trying not to hurt her, I hurt her all the time. I was constantly putting my foot in my mouth and saying shit before I even thought about it. There was no reason for me to get pissed off at her. She had plans, no big deal. But the thought of her with that dog instead of me made my entire body fill with rage. I tried to control my breathing as I put my head in my hands.

"You ok?"

I looked up to see my sister standing by the door.

"No," I whispered before leaning my head back against the wall and closed my eyes.

Alice walked over and knelt down beside me. She didn't say anything; she just put her hand on my arm and moved it up and down, soothingly.

"Why didn't you ever tell me, Al?" I whispered.

"Tell you what?" I could hear the confusion in her voice.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at her. "Tell me how Bella felt about me."

Shocked covered her face. "Who told you?"

I didn't want her to know I had overheard Tanya say something, so I just shrugged my shoulders. "Does it matter? Is it true?"

Alice let out a sigh and sat down fully on the ground, crossing her legs in an Indian style. "It's complicated, Edward"

My brows came together. "How is it complicated? Is she in love with me or not?"

"This is a conversation you should be having with her, not me."

I leaned my head back against the wall as tears pricked my eyes. "You just answered my question, Al"

"Edward," I opened my eyes and looked at her. "How do you feel about her?"

That was the million dollar question. I had been trying to answer that ever since I had found out how she felt about me.

"She's my best friend," I whispered, not really giving anything away.

Alice gave me a small smile before tilting her head. "Can I show you something?"

I nodded my head and watched as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. She tapped the screen a few times before turning it towards me. On the screen was a picture of me and Bella from the photo shoot Angela had done of us over the summer. Bella and I were standing on a swing, talking. I never even knew it was taken. We looked so engrossed with each other, like nothing else in the world existed.

"I have another," Alice said before pulling the phone back, swiping her finger across the screen, and turning it back towards me.

My breath caught in my throat. On the screen were me and Bella. It was from another time Angela had asked us to model. She was looking at the camera and she looked absolutely gorgeous. But that wasn't what drew me to the picture. The way I was staring at her, it was like the only thing that existed at that moment, was her. Like nothing else mattered.

In that moment in all clicked, and I knew my answer.

I looked up at Alice, not knowing what to say.

She gave me a sad smile and put her phone down. "Your feelings have been there all along, you've just been too dumb to realize."

She was absolutely right. The question was never whether or not if I had feelings for Bella, it was when I was going to admit them to myself. And now that I finally have, was I too late?

"She's with Jacob now..."

Alice looked at me confused. "Bella and Jacob broke up last week."

My head snapped towards her. Did she just say Bella and Jacob broke up? How did I not know that?

"But she left with him..."

"To talk, that's it. Bella wanted to make sure he was ok but he needed space. He called her on Thursday and asked if they could talk tonight and she agreed. But it's over between them."

The amount of joy I felt in that moment could not be put into words. I wanted to speak to her, see her; I wanted her to know how I felt. I jumped up and ran over to my bag to find my keys.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to go find her and talk to her," I explained.

I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. Alice blocked me and put her hands up.

"Ok, one, I just told you she's talking to Jacob. Two, from the way she left, I don't think she's too happy with you right now."

Fuck. I forgot about that. My shoulders sagged and I ran my hand through my hair. "Well, I can't just sit around and wait for her; I want to tell her now."

"I get that, but you need a plan and you need to figure out what you're going to do"

"What plan? What do you mean? I'm going to tell her. Does she still feel that way about me?"

I watched as Alice let out a sigh and bit her lip and my world felt like it was crumbling.

"Does she?" I asked desperately.

"It's complicated," she repeated.

My whole body deflated and I collapsed into another old, wooden chair. Of course she didn't feel the same way about me. Why would she? After everything I did, she would be stupid to still want me. I had lost my shot.

"You need a plan, Edward" she said to me again.

I let out a chuckle. "What plan? I lost her."

"Win her back," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

She said it as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"That's just it, Al," I started as I looked up at her. "How do you win back a love you didn't even know you lost?"


	14. Chapter 14

****unBETA'd****

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**if i owned edward cullen, i'd never leave my house.**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I slumped down on my bed. I was exhausted, but the smile on my face wouldn't go away. The past week with Edward had been like a dream. We were _us_ again, the old Edward and Bella that I had loved so much. No awkward pauses, no arguments over something stupid, just plain old Edward and Bella.

It was perfect.

My phone beeped and I scurried to get it out of my pants. Every night after we hung out, Edward had been texting me within fifteen minutes. I looked at my phone and sat up in shock when I saw who it was.

_**Can I call you? – J**_

I hadn't spoken to Jacob since Sunday. He asked for space and I was more then willing to give it to him. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he already had but I would be lying if the urge to talk to him hadn't been there.

I hit call before I could even register what I was doing.

"Hey, Bells," Jacob breathed.

The sound of his voice sent a wave of calmness through my body. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him.

"Hey, Jake"

"How are you?"

I bit my lip. I had been amazing the past couple days... with Edward. But I didn't want to tell him that. "Ok... how about you?"

"I'm... I'm good"

And he really sounded it. He didn't sound sad, or hurt, he sounded like the Jacob I had known since I was younger.

"That's so good to hear, Jake." I took a deep breath. I wanted to let him know that I missed him, but wasn't sure if that was something he wanted to hear or not.

When he didn't say anything after a couple of seconds, I couldn't help myself.

"I miss you," I whispered.

"I miss you, too, Bells," he answered, causing me to lie back on my bed.

It felt so good to hear that. And that was what broke the ice for us. We spent the next hour talking, laughing, and just being normal. Edward had texted twice, and even though I felt bad for not answering him, talking to Jake was addicting and I didn't want to stop.

"I was wondering if you wanted to get together this weekend and talk?"

"Yes, of course!" I flinched at how excited I had sounded.

I really did want to talk to him. I wanted him to know that our relationship was real to me. That I did have feelings for him, strong feelings, he wasn't just someone I used or played with.

"I can't Friday because I have to work at the shop, but how is Saturday for you?"

"Saturday's great!" I answered before my mind could work anything out.

"Great! Maybe we could grab some lunch? I work at the shop until one."

I opened my mouth to answer when I remembered the photo shoot. "Shit!"

"What's the matter?" Jake asked, concerned.

"I forgot, Angela asked us to do another photo shoot for her on Saturday around three."

"Oh," I wanted to shoot myself for the disappointment in his voice. "Well, what about after?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"Great!" I could practically hear the smile in his voice. "I could pick you up from where ever the shoot is?"

"Ergh..." I hesitated.

It wasn't that I didn't want him to pick me up, but Edward would be there and I didn't want to rub that in his face.

I heard Jake chuckle. "It's ok, Bella. I figured he would be there. I don't have a problem with picking you up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, it's not a problem. I'd really like to talk to you, see you, and explain things."

Jacob and I agreed to a time and got off the phone. I was extremely excited to see him and couldn't wait for Saturday to come.

The rest of the week flew by and Saturday I was the happiest I had been in a long time. Edward and I were great, Jacob and I were talking later on in the day, even Alice's poking and prodding of my outfit Saturday morning didn't darken my mood. Although, I did give her a little bit of a hard time, it was my job. The photo shoot came, and I had to remind myself that staring at Edward would not be a good thing. Thank heavens for the sunglasses Alice gave me.

"Yeah, it is abnormally sunny today. I was afraid you thought I looked stupid or something" I mumbled as I looked down at my outfit.

Alice really out did herself and I was pretty sure I was going to break my neck in the heels she made me wear.

"You do _not_ look stupid" Edward answered so quickly, I almost didn't understand him.

"You sure?" I looked down at my outfit again then back up at him. "You don't think it's too much?"

"Not at all, you look beautiful."

I could feel my face heat up and I had to look to the ground. Edward had just called me beautiful. I was positive I didn't imagine it. I thanked whoever was listening that Alice interrupted us before I could fumble over my own words. We walked over to the group and I almost fell twice.

I swear Alice was trying to kill me one of these days.

But each time I fell, Edward was there to catch me. Why did he have to do things that make me fall for him all over again? I posed for the photos, laughed at the right times, but it was all a blur. Edward was constantly brushing against me, leaning on my shoulder, or touching my hand. I was pretty sure I was going to combust at any second. When Angela asked us to move, I just about sprinted towards the cabin. I needed to catch my breath and with Edward touching me it wouldn't happen. I should have known trying to walk fast was a bad idea, because I almost fell flat on my face.

"Jesus, Bells. You're like a walking accident!" Emmett cried out with a laugh as he lifted me and carried me over to the cabin.

I giggled and smacked his head. "Thanks, meathead!"

We took more pictures and my heart threatened to pound out of my chest when Edward came to stand by me again. I kept my mind on the pictures, and not the way Edward brushed his hand on the small of my back or how he would lean down to whisper a joke in my ear. It was only a little while later when Alice screamed for Edward to go change.

I took off my sunglasses and turned to look at him. "Change?"

"Apparently, I need _two_ outfits instead of one," Edward answered with a roll of his eyes.

I giggled.

I watched Edward strip off his suit jacket and hold it out to me before I even realized I had felt a chill. I stared at the jacket, wanting nothing more to wrap myself in it, but knew it would smell just like him and knew I wouldn't be able to handle that.

"Alice is going to kill you. She'll never let me wear this"

He apparently believed my lie because he told me to wear the jacket because I was cold. I tried to refuse again, stating he would be cold, but he didn't listen. And the words that he spoke made my mouth drop open in shock.

"Even it was below zero out, I would still give you my jacket so you could be warm"

Was he _trying_ to kill me? How could he say things like that to me and not expect me to swoon?

"Besides, my new outfit has another jacket with it," he explained.

I nodded my head and took the jacket. Of course he didn't mean it the way it sounded. Edward headed towards the cabin to change and I took a deep breath.

I had given up on the fact that Edward would ever feel anything towards me, but I couldn't deny that the past week he had been acting a little... strange.

I would catch him looking at me with a confused look when I would say something or flinch when I would made jokes about girls he had hooked up with in the past, almost like I was hurting him.

That was really weird.

He had always used to laugh along with me or would come back with the defense that was such a typical guy answer.

_Yeah but she has an amazing ass._

_I didn't care about her voice when her mouth was occupied._

These comments always made me die a little inside, but now I was yearning for them. Those comments meant we were truly back to normal. I wondered over to a tree and leaned against it. I tried to picture my future, a life where I wasn't hopelessly in love with my best friend, but that world seemed foreign to me. I had fallen in love with Edward Cullen when I was just a little kid and couldn't imagine never feeling that way. I didn't love him because he was _Edward Cullen_; I loved him because of the man I knew he really was.

The man that would do anything for any of his friends without a second thought and loved his family unconditionally, the man who claimed his baby sister got on his nerves, but didn't hesitate to do anything and everything she asked.

I loved him for the man behind all the good looks, and cocky attitude, because I knew deep down, he was just as insecure and scared about his future like the rest of us.

The man that protected me day in and day out and never made me feel like I wasn't a nobody, who told me to go for my dreams, and to believe in myself, because nothing could stand in my way.

Sure, he slept around. Yes, he was a complete and utter dog when it came to women and broke my heart more times than I could count, but was it really all his fault? I never did tell him my feelings; never once lead him to believe that what I felt for him was something more than friendship. So how could he know?

He was sorry for the whole Tanya situation and had been doing everything in his power to make it up to me since I told him I knew. He couldn't really explain why he did what he did, which still kind of pissed me off, but Rosalie explained that when a guy is thinking with his "little head instead of his big one" he really isn't thinking that much at all.

But was that a good enough excuse to forgive him?

Or was I being unreasonable in thinking he should turn away from every girl in our school that gave me trouble. He wouldn't have many options left if he did.

It wasn't like he was dating her, because Edward didn't date. He just used her to get his rocks off. When I looked back on it, I almost feel sorry for her.

Almost.

But I couldn't help the envy I felt as well. Edward would never see me as someone he would want to get his rocks off with, I just wasn't an option. I wasn't on his radar.

And I was slowly coming to terms with being ok with that.

I looked up when I heard Alice calling out Edward's name. He was making his way over to me and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"She's going to kill you!"

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "She'll get over it. You ok?"

I looked at him confused. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Edward answered with another shrug. He was acting strange again. I stood there waiting for him to explain himself, but he never did. He just leaned against the tree and pointed out how his sister already forgotten about him. I couldn't help but giggle because he was right. Alice was already barking orders at the other, completely forgetting all about her brother. We talked and Edward joked around as we watched the group in the distance. I probably sounded like an idiot with how much I was laughing, but I didn't care.

"Are you going out to eat with everyone afterwards?" I asked after we fell into a comfortable silence.

"Are you?"

His voice sounded a little weird when he asked me but I just brushed it off and shook my head no. I wanted to cry in frustration when he offered to hang out. I wanted to hang out with Edward more than anything, but I had plans with Jake, very important plans that I could not break just for some alone time with Edward.

"I can't. I have plans with Jake."

We were silent for a couple seconds, before I decided to ask him if maybe he wanted to do something after. I couldn't give him a specific time, and I wasn't going to tell Jake we only had so much time to talk, but I could call him when we were finished. But when I looked up at him, his face looked angry. I tried to ask him what was wrong but he didn't answer. I couldn't believe him; he was actually pissed because I had plans with Jacob. I called him out on it and he denied it, of course.

"Edward, I made these plans two days ago. I can't back out on them," I tried to explain.

I _wouldn't_ back out on them. The discussion Jake and I needed to have, it too was important.

"Do whatever you want, Bella" he mumbled looking at everything but me.

I just chuckled dryly and shook my head. He had no right to be pissed off, we didn't have any plans, and he just asked me to hang out. And that was exactly what I said to him. I was done not saying what was on my mind.

"Excuse me; I didn't know I had to schedule a time to see you. Do you have a calendar that I can mark down my appointments?"

Was he fucking serious? After _everything_ that happened between us over the past week, and how we had gotten over so much, he was going to go back to being an asshole over me hanging out with Jacob?

"Run along, don't want to keep the dog waiting."

My jaw dropped. Did he really just say that to me?

I was beyond pissed. But I was even more pissed because I was hurt and hated myself for the tears that came to my eyes. I could do nothing but stare at him in shock. He finally looked over at me and I watched as the anger faded away from his face.

He said my name and pushed off the tree to come towards me. I knew he was going to apologize but I didn't want to hear it. I just shook my head and walked towards Jacob's car. He was early, but I didn't care. I needed to get out of there.

"Bella, wait! Come on, I'm sorry!"

When I finally reached the car, I swallowed the lump in my throat, opened the door, and yelled out to him. "Do me a favor, Cullen. Next time you want to talk to me, call my secretary. I'll try and pencil you in."

I slammed the car door.

"Everything ok?" Jacob asked with a concerned voice, I just shook my head.

"Can we get out of here?"

Edward jogged up to car and called out my name again.

"Are you su...?"

"Drive!" I yelled, cutting Jacob off.

"Ok," Jacob mumbled as he backed the car up and drove the car away.

My body was shaking with anger. What the hell was wrong with him? I mean, I knew he didn't like Jake, but to become a complete asshole all because I had plans was unnecessary. I wanted to scream and cry out in frustration, but refused to let Jacob see me shed any tears for Edward.

I snapped my head over towards Jacob when I realized this was probably not something he wanted to see. "Jake, I'm so sorry."

Jacob shook his head. "Bells, it's fine. Don't worry about it, are you ok?"

He sounded completely concerned and I couldn't detect any hint of hurt in his voice.

"Um, yeah. He just pissed me off."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I blinked in surprise. Was Jake really offering to listen to me vent about Edward? When I didn't answer, Jake looked over at me and chuckled at my shocked looked.

"It's ok, Bella. Really."

"He just makes me so mad!" I blurted out before I even realized what I was saying. "He gets all pissed off at the stupidest things and doesn't explain himself. I had plans tonight, big deal! Why does he have to act like...?"

Words failed to come to me because I honestly didn't know what he was acting like.

"A jealous boyfriend?"

My head snapped over towards Jake. "He doesn't act like a jealous boyfriend."

Jacob threw his head back and laughed the laughed that I loved so much. It was carefree and beautiful. It made me smile.

"Oh, Bella. You really don't see it, do you?"

I scrunched my brows together. "See what?"

"Why do you think he hates me so much? I've never done anything to him and he hates me, which is fine because I'm not too fond of him either, but why do you think that?"

I tried to find the answer, but I couldn't. I honestly didn't know why Edward disliked Jacob so much. Sure, I understand why he felt that way towards Edward, but there was no reason for the return hatred.

"He'd never admit it, but he's jealous of me. I have a part of you he can't touch and it eats him up inside. And I'm jealous of him, because he has a part of you that I will never have."

"Jake..." I started softly to apologize but he shook his head and cut me off.

"Bells, it's fine. We should talk. We'll go grab something to eat at the diner. Do you want me to stop so you can change?"

It was then I realized I left my bag with my change of clothes in Emmett's car. "If you don't mind. I sort of left my bag back there."

He smiled and told me it wasn't a problem. When we pulled up to my house, I stripped my shoes off and ran up to the front door. I grabbed our hide-a-key, unlocked the door, and was dressed and back in Jacob's car within minutes. I couldn't begin to explain how much more comfortable I was in my old jeans and one of Charlie's flannel t-shirts.

Jacob and I talked about minor things as we made our way towards the diner. I had forgotten how easy it was to just be myself and smile and laugh when I was with him. We ordered our food and handed the waitress our menus before she walked off.

"Jake, I want to apologize," I mumbled as I picked at my fingers. "How things ended with us, it shouldn't have gone down like that. I do have feelings for you and care about you very much"

When I looked back up, Jake gave me a soft smile. "I know."

"I didn't use you or play you. When we were together, I was in it, one hundred percent. Please don't think differently"

"I don't, Bells. I know you were"

I bit my lip and stared at him. He looked completely different than the last time I saw him. He looked... happier.

"I never wanted to hurt you," I whispered.

He nodded his head and opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when the waitress showed up with our drinks. We both gave her a polite smile before she turned to leave.

"You did hurt me. I was a wreck when I left your house Saturday and didn't move from my room until Monday night."

I looked down at my lap, ashamed. How could he even stand to talk to me let alone being in the same room with me?

"I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, Bella. I just want you to know the truth," he explained as he ducked his head so he could look in my eyes.

I nodded and motioned for him to continue.

"I've loved you almost just as long as you've loved, Edward," he chuckled. "Maybe even longer and when you finally decided to give me a chance, I was _so_ sure I could make you love me back."

"Jake, I do love you!" I cried out.

He smiled. "I know. But not like you love him"

I put my head down in shame again.

"And that's ok."

"How is that ok?" I sniffled. "I hurt you."

"Because I understand now."

I looked up at him confused.

"Let me explain," he put his hands on the table and brought them together. "Like I said, I was a wreck. I didn't move from my bed at all until Monday evening."

I opened my mouth to apologize again but he held up his hand to stop me. "Let me finish."

I clamped my mouth shut and nodded.

"Monday night I was in my room, sulking, feeling sorry for myself, and trying like hell not to pick up the phone to call you and beg you to take me back."

I flinched. I knew that feeling. The feeling that all you really want to do is grab the phone and call the one person you knew you shouldn't be talking to.

"My sisters and my dad were out, I don't really know where. I heard someone knocking on the door. I tried to ignore them, but got the crazy thought in my head that it might be you and went to go answer the door."

I wanted to apologize over and over but I knew he would never let me.

"It wasn't you, obviously," Jake answered with a smirk.

I tried to give him a small smile, but I was disgusted with myself. The waitress came with our food, placed it down, and walked away.

"Who was it?" I asked softly.

I watched as a small, blissful smile came across Jacob's face before he answered. "Nessie."

Jacob must have seen the confused look on my face because he began to explain more. "Do you remember a while ago I told you Paul's cousin, Vanessa, was moving onto the reservation?"

I vaguely remember a couple different conversations Jacob and I had about the subject. I mostly remembered Paul doing nothing but complaining about her whenever we hung out with them on the reservation.

"She moved in next door. She came over to ask my dad if we had any duct tape."

He explained how he offered to help her and went in search for the duct tape. The way he spoke about her, the way his face lit up as he mentioned of her name, I couldn't help the tinge of jealousy that shot through me. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about Jake speaking about another girl the way he was.

"I've never believed in love at first sight before," he mumbled. "But this was different. It was so much more powerful than that. Everything changed..."

He let out a breath and looked up at me. "It was like gravity. All of a sudden, it's not the earth holding me to the planet, it's her. Nothing else matters."

My heart melted and ached at the same time. It melted over the fact that someone could find someone and in just one look, feel that way, and ached because Jacob had found that with someone that wasn't me.

"I do still love you, and probably always will. But the love I have for you and the love I have for Nessie are so different. And I understand completely where you are coming from now."

I tried to open my mouth to say something, but came up speechless. I looked down at my untouched salad and pushed it around with my fork.

"You're in love with her?" I mumbled.

"Yes"

My heart broke a little with his answer.

"I'd be lying if I said that you finding someone else didn't hurt a little."

"I'm glad to hear it," I looked up at him with raised eyebrows, causing him to chuckle. "It just means that what you felt for me was real. You actually cared about me."

"There was never a question in that, Jake."

"I know."

We both began to eat our meals and the only sound between us was the clanging of our utensils on our plates. The silence between us wasn't awkward, like most would expect, but more comfortable. We finally broke the silence with mundane topics, school, his job, my art show... The topic of our relationship didn't come up again until we were pulling up to my house.

"I want you in my life, Bella, because honestly, I can't picture my life without you in it," he mumbled as he parked his car.

"I want you in my life, too," I whispered.

"Can we please still be friends?"

Usually, those words after a break up caused heartache, but to me, they were like a life line.

"I'd love that."

Jacob's face lit up as he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. I basked in his warmth, and it was the first time I didn't feel guilty in his arms. I loved Jake and cared about him more than I ever thought possible, but with that hug, I felt like we were finally becoming something we always should have been.

"Do you want to come in and watch a movie or something?" I asked as we pulled apart and I looked towards the house. Emmett's jeep was parked in the driveway. "I'm sure Rose and Emmett rented something."

"Ugh," Jake started as he scratched his chin. "I kind of promised Nessie I'd take her out tonight, sorry."

I waved him off with a smile and told him not to worry about it. His face suddenly became serious.

"You're going to be ok, right? You're not going to go in there and get upset again are you?"

I felt my brow go together in confusion, before I realized what he was talking about.

I had completely forgotten all about the fight I had gotten in with Edward while I was with Jacob. He had a talent for making me forget about all the stuff in my life that hurt. I looked down at my lap and nodded.

"Bells, why don't you tell him how you feel?"

I looked up at him, amused. "Is Jacob Black telling me to make a move on Edward Cullen?"

Jacob laughed and shook his head. "Not at all. In a perfect world, you'd forget all about that asswhipe."

I chuckled.

"But you do deserve to be happy, Bella. And if he is what makes you happy, even though I hate to say this, then you should be with him."

I gave him a sad smile. "I can't tell him, Jake. He doesn't feel that way towards me."

"Talk to him," he insisted. "You can't know Bella Swan and not love her."

I smiled at him again, gave him another hug and got out of the car. I didn't want to talk about Edward anymore. Jacob gave me a final wave before pulling off into the night. I let out a sigh and headed towards my house. Maybe I could text Alice and see if she wanted to hang out, but then I remembered her saying something about her and Jasper having a date after they were all done dinner, so I knew that plan was out. I debated on hanging out with Rose and Em, but decided I wasn't in the mood to be a third wheel that night. I opened the front door and was immediately hit with the smell of something burning.

"Bells, is that you?" I heard Emmett yell from the living room.

I walked into the kitchen and waved smoke away from my face as I coughed.

"What the hell, Em?" On top of the stove was a tray full of, what looked like, cookies, only they were burnt so bad you could hardly recognize them.

I picked one up, but dropped it quickly when it burnt my finger. The sound it made when hitting the pan sounded like I dropped a rock.

"Were you trying to burn the house down?" I asked as I walked into the living room.

Emmett and Rosalie were snuggled on the couch watching a movie.

"I didn't make that shit!"

"Then who did?"

I watched as Emmett opened his mouth but Rosalie slapped him in the leg. "Ah! Babe! What the hell!"

"I tried baking. I'm a terrible cook. I should just stick to ordering out," Rosalie answered with a smile after she threw a glare towards Emmett.

I raised my eyebrow in suspicion. Rosalie trying to bake was about a believable as Emmett trying to nit. I decided to not call her out on her little lie and just ignore it.

"You have a nice time?" Rosalie asked.

There was something about her voice that was off.

"Yeah. Jake and I talked. We're good. We're gonna stay friends."

"That's good, B," Emmett answered, completely engrossed in the movie he was watching.

I leaned against the back of the couch they were sitting on and crossed my arms. "What the hell are you watching?"

"Godzilla!" Emmett yelled out with a fist pump.

I looked over at Rosalie who just rolled her eyes.

"We brought in your bag," she pointed towards the coat rack next to the door.

I had completely forgotten about my bag, thanked her and walked over to grab it. I had left my cell phone in there earlier and was eager to check it. But when I finally looked at it, my shoulders sagged in disappointment. I had only three text messages. One had been from Jake, telling me he was on his way to pick me up from the photo shoot, and two from Alice asking if I was ok.

"Everything ok, babe?"

My head snapped up to see Rosalie looking at me with concern.

"Yeah, of course." I responded with a fake smile and nod. "I'm just going to head up to my room, I'm kind of beat."

"It's only eight thirty!" Emmett exclaimed, earning another slap from Rosalie. "Ah! What?"

Rosalie shook her head and looked back at me. "If you want to head up to your room, you go right ahead."

I let out a chuckle. "Um, ok..."

She was acting very strange but I just brushed it off and headed toward the stairs.

"Yes, go up in your room, Bella! Have fun... IN YOUR ROOM!" Emmett yelled loudly.

I stopped walking and watched Rosalie smack him again. "Thanks, Em! I'll try!" I said with fake enthusiasm before continuing my walk up the stairs.

I was extremely disappointed Edward hadn't tried to contact me through out the day. He had seemed like he didn't want me to leave earlier when he realized what he did, but he didn't try to get a hold of me at all. It just didn't make sense. I opened my bedroom door and put my bag down, not even bothering to turn on the light. I put my phone on my desk and slumped down on my bed. I had been lying there for a couple seconds when I thought I heard a whining sound. I sat up and listened carefully for it again. I was just about to write it off as the TV downstairs, when it came again, only this time louder. I shot up from my bed, flicked my bedroom light on and turned around. There, on the ground under my window, was a cardboard box, with two little paws, and a little fluffy head sticking out over top of it. My hand came up to my mouth in shock.

There was a freaking puppy in my room!

The puppy barked, only it sounded more like a yelp it was so high pitched, and I immediately ran over to it. It was a small, Labrador retriever with blonde fur, although, the blonde fur was so pale, it could almost be considered white that had a blue bow wrapped around its neck. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. The puppy started to immediately wag its tail and stick its tongue out as I knelt down before the box.

"Oh my god!" I cried out as I picked the little thing up. "Where did you come from, little guy?"

I scratched the back of his ears and giggled as he licked my face.

"It's actually a she."

My head snapped up towards my door. Standing in my door way, with his hands in his pockets, was Edward. I sat there in shock, just staring at him for what seemed like hours.

"I bought her... for you," he whispered.

I blinked in surprise.

He WHAT?

The puppy continued to lick my face before she got bored and started to squirm. I was too busying staring at him in shock to realize she had squirmed her way out of my arms. I watched as she trotted her way over to Edward, got up on her hind legs at the bottom of his feet and wagged her tail. He leaned over and picked her up. She immediately started to lick his face.

Of course she would be attracted to him, all females were.

Edward scratched under her chin and took a step towards me.

"Say something," he whispered.

I looked back down at the cardboard box. Inside was soft, purple and blue blanket that outlined the box, along with a few chew toys and a food bowl. I stood up and wiped my hand across my forehead.

"You bought me a puppy?" I whispered in disbelief.

Edward gave me a half, unsure, smile and nodded his head. I let out a breath and shook my head.

"You don't like her?" his voice sounded so disappointed.

I gave an 'are-you-crazy' look and walked over to him. I lifted my hand to pet her again and smiled when she sniffed my fingers.

"Edward, she's adorable. But my dad..."

"I already spoke to the chief," he said cutting me off. "He's ok with it as long as you're ok with it."

I swear my face was going to become etched in a permanent look of shock.

"If you think she'll be too much responsibility, I can help. I read some articles online about puppy training and it seems simple enough. Or if you don't want her..."

"Of course I want her!" I cried out.

Edward gave me a breathtaking smile and I distracted myself with petting the puppy.

"What's her name?"

"She doesn't have one yet. I wanted you to pick it out. Emmett tried naming her Lacey," he said with a role of his eyes and I giggled.

The puppy started to squirm again, so Edward moved to put her back in her box. That was when I saw it. On top of my desk was a single red rose. I walked over and picked it up.

"I bought that for you," I heard him whisper from behind me.

I turned to look at him and saw him standing there looking completely nervous. I looked back and forth between the rose and the puppy. I had no idea what was going on. Edward didn't buy flowers. He didn't believe in them. He had always said there was no point in buying a girl something that was just going to wither and die anyway.

"I tried to make you your favorite cookies too..."

"That was you?" I asked him in disbelief.

He scratched the back of his neck. "Yea, it didn't really work out though..."

I just stared at him.

"Bella..." he started but I cut him off.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I picked up the rose.

He looked at me confused. "What do you mean?"

I stared at the rose as tears came to my eyes. "Why are you doing all this?"

"I wanted to apologize."

I felt dizzy all of a sudden. I clutched the rose in my one hand, and ran my other through my hair.

"You can't just do stuff like this, Edward. If you even knew..."

I stopped myself. I had almost slipped.

Edward took a step towards me. "If I even knew what, Bella?"

I shook my head and moved towards my bed to sit down. I couldn't stop staring at the rose in my hand. Edward knelt down before me.

"Tell me, love. Please."

I just shook my head again and wiped away a tear that escaped me eyes. I stared at the stupid rose like it would help me escape. It wasn't the first time someone had gotten me flowers, Jake had bought me flowers before, but this one single rose meant so much more and he didn't even know it.

Edward let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. "I know how you feel about me, Bella."

My entire world stopped. What did he just say? I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and my breathing started to escalate. I tried to look up at him, but my entire body was locked.

"What..." My voice stammered and I struggled to keep it straight. "What are you talking about?"

"Is it true?"

My body finally decided to work and I shot up from my bed and paced back and forth, still refusing to look at him directly.

"Who told you?" I asked frantically.

"Does it matter?"

I chuckled. "Of course it matters! Who told you?"

"Bella," he started as he took a step towards me. He reached out for me but I stepped back.

I could not feel his hands on me at that moment. It was the moment I had always feared, the moment I had dreaded. Had he known all along and never said anything? Or did he just now realize it?

"Will you stop pacing and just look at me," he pleaded.

I shook my head and kept my eyes on the rose. It was so beautiful and smelled heavenly. I wanted to hold onto it as long as I could.

"Are you going to answer my question?" he asked softly.

"Are you going to tell me who told you?" I answered back.

I heard Edward sigh. "I came to your Art Show last Saturday."

I stopped pacing and finally looked up at him.

"No, you didn't." I said in confusion.

"Yes, I did"

My brows came together in confusion. What does he coming to my Art Show have to do with any of this? My eyes went wide with horror when it hit me.

"You heard what Tanya said," I whispered.

I felt like everything was falling apart around me. Of all the times I imagined telling Edward how I felt, all the times I planned on telling him, he finally found out because some skank was jealous. He probably thought I was pathetic, poor pathetic little Bella with her stupid little crush.

"Is it true?" he whispered.

I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. I wanted to look away from him but our eyes were locked. When I didn't say anything, he took a step forward.

"I've been stupid, so stupid for so long," he whispered. "But I'm not going to be stupid anymore. I know you and Jacob broke up last week."

"You seem to know a lot," I mumbled.

"Now I do and it's the best thing that ever happened to me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt another tear fall. As soon as Edward saw it, he came up to me and cupped my face in his hands. I let out a whimper at his touch.

His eyes were glassy as he looked back and forth between my eyes.

"I know I've said and done a lot of things and I hurt you," he choked out as he wiped away my tears with his thumbs. "But I promise I'll never do that again. I'm _so_ sorry."

I couldn't form words; I just stood there with tears running down my face.

"I didn't just go to see the chief to ask him if it was ok that I bought you a puppy," my brows went together in confusion. "I went there to ask him permission to take you out on a date."

My jaw fell to the floor. He did what?

"I asked Emmett, too," _what? _"They both agreed, as long it was ok with you."

"You're asking me out?" I whispered in disbelief.

He gave a nod and waited for my answer. I had waited _years_ for this moment to happen, and now that it was actually happening, I couldn't help but feel a little hesitant.

"You don't date."

"I want to date you," he whispered.

I brought my hands up to his and took them away from my face.

"So let me get this straight," I started as I took a step back from him. I felt like I couldn't breathe with him so close. "You overheard Tanya talking about my feelings for you and now all of a sudden you want to _date_ me?"

"It's not like that!" he protested.

"Then what's it like?"

He opened and closed his mouth a couple times as he ran his hand through his beautiful hair. "I feel... I've always felt... very... _protective_ of you, Bella."

I nodded my head and licked my lips. "I know, like I was your little sister."

"I'm pretty sure I don't fantasize and jerk off to my little sister," he snapped.

My eyes went wide and my face flamed. Edward thought about me when he...?

Holy crow.

Edward let out a huff and pulled at his hair. "This isn't how I pictured this going"

I chuckled. "How did you see it going?"

He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his feet. The puppy started to bark for our attention and only stopped when Edward leaned down and patted her on her head.

I looked down at the rose in my hand and whispered, "Do you want to know what I think this is?"

He didn't answer so I took that as my cue to continue.

"I think this is you feeling trapped."

Edward's head snapped up. "What?"

"Be realistic, Edward," I stated dryly. "I've felt... how I felt for you _forever_. Everyone knows... but you. And all because you overheard a conversation you suddenly want to date me? That's called guilt"

I watched as different emotions flashed across his face. First shock, then sorrow, then finally, anger.

"Are you fucking serious right now?"

I didn't say anything, which caused him to huff in anger or disgust, I wasn't sure. He began to pace back and forth, mumbling to himself, before he stopped and looked me right in the eye.

"This has _nothing_ to do with guilt. This is about me opening my eyes and finally seeing what I had right in front of me."

I had been waiting for him to say things like this to me for so long and yet I couldn't help the doubt that ran through my body.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

I shook my head and went to go sit on my bed again. "What was I suppose to say? 'Hey Edward, I think I'm in love with you?'"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe, yeah."

I picked at one of the thorns on the rose. "You were whoring yourself out to every girl that even looked your way, using them for your own pleasure. How was I supposed to know you wouldn't do the same to me?"

"I would never use you like that, love. _Never._"

After a minute of me not saying anything, I heard Edward sigh right before he sat down on the bed next to me.

"I know I don't deserve it, and you have every right to shoot me down, but, I'm asking for another chance. I want to prove to you that I can be more than the person you know."

You would think a million thoughts would have been running through my head, but it was completely blank. I didn't know what to think, what to feel, or how to act towards the situation that was happening.

"I want to prove to you that I can be a man worthy of you, and if you can just give me that chance, I will never let you down again," he whispered as he pushed my hair behind my ear.

I sat there stone still. It seemed all my dreams were coming true, I should have been thrilled. But after years of getting my heartbroken time and time again, I couldn't help but keep my guard up. I wanted to be with Edward more than anything, but would it be the right decision? Could he actually change from the manwhore that I knew he was?

"I just..." I stopped and gathered my words. "I just need a little time to think."

I looked up to see Edward's shoulders sag in disappointment.

"I'm not saying no... But I'm not saying yes, either. Today has been really intense and I'm really tired."

Edward nodded. "Take all the time in the world. I'll be here waiting."

Would he really? I searched his eyes for a hint of doubt, but found none.

"I'll go... let you think," he mumbled as he stood up and my first instinct was to ask him to stay but I wisely kept my mouth shut.

"She'll probably need to go out in a little bit," he said as he gestured towards the puppy that was now sleeping in her box. "Her leash is in a bag down in the kitchen. I fed her already so she'll be ok for the rest of the night."

I couldn't open my mouth for fear I would beg him to stay, so I just nodded. Edward stood before me for a couple seconds before taking a step towards me and bending down.

I held my breath as I felt his lips brush against my forehead and heard him whisper, "Goodnight, love."

Fresh tears came to my eyes as he walked out of my bedroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.


	15. Chapter 15

****unBETA'd****

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**i own a brand new shiny car, but not edward! :(**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

After I realized my feelings for Bella, wanting to be with her wasn't a hard decision. I only wanted to make her happy; I didn't care about anything else. I immediately dragged Emmett back into the cabin and had the most awkward conversation I had ever had with my best friend. He reluctantly agreed, threatening me with pain of death, if I hurt her again. I jumped in my car and started what I was going to do to win Bella back.

When I walked into the flower shop, I felt completely out of place. I had always used a stupid excuse that flowers die so why buy them so that I didn't have to a girl one, but I really wanted to buy Bella one. I stuck with something simple, a red rose. When I was walking out of the flower shop and back to my car, was when I saw her. She was in the pet shop window with three other puppies, but something about her stuck out. Maybe it was her white-blonde fur, or her big doe eyes. But I knew I wanted Bella to have her. I walked right into the shop and bought her.

I flinched at the price and promised to explain to my parents that it was for a good cause when they saw my credit card bill that month. The puppy was packed up and in the back of my car within minutes and when I called Alice and told her, the puppy had even flinched cause she could hear my sister's high pitch squeal.

"Are you sure Charlie is going to be ok with you getting Bella a puppy?"

And that was one of the many reasons why I loved my sister. She thought of things that would have never crossed my mind.

I found myself pulling into Fork's police station seconds later. I parked my car and stared at the building. I had never been so nervous in my entire life. Sure, the chief loved me, but I was about to walk in there to ask him if it was ok if I gave his daughter a puppy I had already bought, and I had decided I should ask him for his permission to date his daughter, as well. I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants, took a deep breath and got out of my car. I grabbed the puppy from the back seat and took her in with me. I told myself it was because Charlie would want to see her.

But deep down I had been hoping the chief wouldn't shoot me with an innocent animal in my arms.

I walked into the building and was surprised to see how calm and quiet it all was. In the movies and on TV, police stations were always loud and chaotic with criminals handcuff to chairs and fighting to get free. But the Forks police station almost reminded me of a library.

I snorted at the thought.

"Can I help you?" an older man in a police uniform sitting behind a desk asked me.

He looked at me strangely and eyed the puppy in my hands.

"I'm here to see Chief Swan."

The police officer raised an eyebrow at me.

_Yes, asshole, I'm aware I'm standing here in white pants, white shirt, a suit jacket, and holding a puppy, thank you for noticing. _

"Edward?"

I looked to my right and saw Charlie standing there.

"Is everything ok?"

I walked over to him and shook his hand. Thankfully, the puppy had fallen asleep in my arms and was still asleep.

"I was wondering if I could have a minute of your time, sir."

He eyed the puppy in my arms, nodded, and said, "Follow me."

I followed him down a long hallway and was quickly surprised when he opened the door to the room we were going in.

It wasn't his office.

It was a fucking interrogation room.

Charlie stepped aside to let me in and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I hesitated in the door way for a second, looking into the room in fear, before stepping in. I sat down as my eyes darted around the room.

"I'm just going to get some coffee, son. Would you like some?"

I shook my head.

_Yeah, because I could even _think _about drinking something right now._

Charlie walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

_Fuck._

The room was basically empty except for two chairs and a table. There was a large mirror on the right wall and it terrified me. Was he watching me?

The puppy began to squirm in my arms as she woke up and I moved to try and make her comfortable. She sniffed my arms before deciding she wanted to get down. I looked to make sure the door was closed and let her down.

It was a small room; it wasn't like she could get lost somewhere. I watched as she trotted around the room, sniffing everything in her path. After a couple seconds of her exploring, she looked back me, and I could almost swear she raised her eyebrow.

_Yes, it's an interrogation room._

The puppy walked around in circles before she stopped and squatted.

"Shit!" I cried out and jumped out of my seat. "No!"

The puppy finished peeing then walked over and rubbed her self against my legs.

Great.

How the fuck was I going to clean that up?

I stared down at the puppy as she stood up on her hind legs and put her paws on my legs. She wagged her tail and stared up at me.

Fucking dogs.

I looked behind me when the door closed open and saw the chief walk in with a Styrofoam cup and some paper towels.

He chuckled and handed me the towels.

I _knew_ he had been watching me.

I thanked him and quickly cleaned up the puppy's mess before throwing the dirty towels in the small trash can in the corner. When I sat back down I saw Charlie playing with the puppy with a smile on his face.

"Cute dog. Where'd you get her?"

I cleared my throat. "The pet shop in Port Angeles."

Charlie laughed as the puppy started to chase her tail.

"What's her name?"

"Um, I haven't named her. She isn't mine," I mumbled.

Charlie looked up at me with a raised eyebrow.

I ran my hand through my hair and put my hands on the table. "I bought her for Bella, Sir. If that's ok with you."

Charlie stopped playing with the puppy and leaned back in his chair and looked at me.

"So you came all the way here to ask me if it was ok if you got my daughter a dog _after_ you already bought it."

I swallowed and nodded.

Charlie chuckled and rubbed his mustache. "You want to tell me why you're really here, son?"

I took a deep breath and looked down at the puppy. I guess she decided she had enough fun because she snuggled at my feet and went fast asleep again.

"I'd like to take Bella out on a date... Sir"

_Good, Cullen, keep calling him Sir, stay on his good side._

Charlie nodded his head, looked down at the puppy, and then took a sip of his coffee. He didn't say anything for a long while and I almost died from anxiety.

"I don't mind you giving the puppy to Bella, Edward. To be honest, I always wanted to get them a dog but Renee was allergic. Old habits die hard you know," he stated with a smile.

"Thank you, Sir. I hope she likes her"

Charlie waved his hand in dismissal. "She'll love her."

We sat there in silence for a little while longer and I wanted to scream in frustration. I knew he was purposely not answering my question to make me sweat. My knee was bouncing up and down so fast; I was surprised the room wasn't vibrating.

"Edward, I've known you for a long time. You've always been a good kid, never given me any trouble and have been a great friend to my children"

My shoulder's sagged in disappointment. I knew that speech. He was about to tell me I was a good kid, but not good enough to date his daughter.

Not that I disagreed with him.

"I'm not dumb or blind, son. I've heard and seen you around town with a lot of different girls."

I flinched. My past had really started to piss me off.

"Sir..."

"Edward, I've known you since you were six years old and I don't think you have ever called me 'Sir' this many times," he stated with a chuckle. "Drop the pleasantries, will ya? You're making me feel old."

I chuckled and sat up. "I'm sorry, Charlie."

He took a sip from his coffee again and hooked his hands in his belt. "To tell you the truth, I've been waiting for this day to come along."

I raised my eyebrow.

"Every father fears the day that his daughter grows up and young men start coming and knocking on the door to take her out. I almost had a heart attack when Jacob first showed up to take her out. Almost took my shot gun out on the boy," he explained with a chuckle.

I snickered. I would have _loved_ to take a shot gun to that mutt.

"And he doesn't have such a... colorful... past"

I leaned on the table with my arms and cracked my fingers.

"I understand," I mumbled.

Charlie let out another breath right before his hands moved to his belt.

"I've seen how Bella looks at you," he explained as he unhooked his handcuffs and put them on the table.

For some reason, I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

"To her, you walk on water, always have."

Next was the baton.

"But she has been nothing but merely a friend to you. A good friend, I know that. You've always protected her and looked out for her, just as much as Emmett, maybe even more."

Last, he pulled out his gun and placed it on the desk. The lump in my throat was almost too hard to swallow.

"You want to tell me why I should just... ignore... how you've treated girls in the past and give you permission to take my daughter out when you can very well do the same thing to her?"

I stared at the gun. I knew why he put it there. He put it there to scare me. And fuck me, it worked. My eyes moved back up to Charlie to see him looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

I huffed. I knew the only way he'd listen to me, was if I told him the truth.

"My past is my past and I can't help that," I stated as I looked at my hands. "But Bella is my future, and with your blessing, I'd like to let her know that."

And with that, Charlie gave me his blessing, not without some more questions as he picked up his gun and examined it.

He laughed every time my eyes fell to it.

I dropped the puppy off at Bella's house with Emmett, who lit up like a kid on fucking Christmas when he saw her, ran home to change, and quickly made it back to their house. I didn't know when Bella would be back from hanging out with the dog, I mean Jacob, so I had to work quickly. I made up the puppies bed, fed her, and took her out. When I put her upstairs in Bella's room that was when the thought hit me. Whenever Bella was upset, cookies always made her feel better. I ran down to the kitchen and held back my fist pump of joy when I found cookie dough mix in the cabinet.

I ignored Emmett and his remarks and had to smack his hands away when he tried to dip his fingers in the dough. I read the instructions, they seemed simple enough, but I should have fucking known better, because that shit wasn't easy. The cookies I cooked did _not_ look like the cookies in the picture. They looked more like dirty rocks.

I had been waving a hand towel in front of the fire alarm so it would stop going off from the smoke when Rosalie yelled to me that Bella was outside. I threw the towel down and ran upstairs and hid in the bathroom, praying that she didn't have to use it when she got in. I heard the door open and close and heard her mumbled voice. It took everything I had in me to stay in the bathroom and not run out to her. I was nervous and excited at the same time.

I really wanted Bella to give me a chance.

I never wanted anything more in my entire life.

I rolled my eyes when I heard Emmett yell. He had serious mental problems.

She loved the puppy, of course. I think she loved the rose, I wasn't too sure. She never put it down, which was a good sign, but the conversation did not go as I had planned. I was foolish to think Bella would basically jump up and down and say yes to me. I couldn't blame her for being hesitant.

When she mentioned she was scared I would use her for my own pleasure and that was why I she never told me the truth, I never hated myself more.

Would my past always come back to haunt me?

She asked for time, and that was what I was going to give her, even if it killed me.

* * *

><p>The clock on my night stand read 2:53 a.m.<p>

It had been six and a half hours since I had left Bella and I hadn't heard a word from her. I wanted to call her and ask her if she made her decision but I knew I would only crowd her, and I wanted her to make this decision with a clear head.

I had, however, couldn't help but do one little thing.

I had been flipping through the channels on the TV when the song had caught my attention. It was the very end of it, so I had to look it up on my phone. The lyrics explained everything I was feeling and I couldn't think of a better way for her to understand.

I immediately found the video, copied the link, and posted it to Bella's Facebook wall, for the entire world to see, because I _wanted_ the entire world to see.

The only person I wanted... was Bella.

I never thought in a million years I would be lying in my bed losing sleep wondering if a girl was going to say yes to going out on a date with me.

But Bella wasn't just _any_ girl.

She was so much more than that.

I let out a huff, sleep obviously wasn't an option, so I got up, grabbed my laptop, and lay back down in my bed. I signed onto Facebook, more out of habit than anything else, and was fucking ecstatic at what I saw. Bella and Jacob _fucking_ Black were no longer in a relationship on Facebook and she had changed her profile picture back to the picture of her, Rosalie, and Alice. While I was disappointed in the fact that she didn't put it to us again, anything was better than her and the dog. I debated on changing my picture back to me and her, I had changed it to me, Emmett, and Jasper back when she and Jacob had started to date, but I didn't want to be too smug. Bella could very well say no to my date and that would kill me.

I tried not to let the fact that she hadn't responded to the video bother me, she might not have seen it yet, but it bothered me a little.

I browsed the net for nothing in particular until I got bored. I was just about to close my laptop and try and get some sleep when an IM appeared on my screen.

**BrwneyedLamb: Can't sleep?**

My heart skipped a beat. Bella was awake and just IMed me. I sat up against my headboard and quickly typed back.

**EAC_Lion: Not at all**

**BrwneyedLamb: Me either...**

I pulled at my hair as I stared at the screen.

**EAC_Lion: Everything ok?**

**BrwneyedLamb: lol kind of a dumb question don't you think?**

A small smile came to my face.

**EAC_Lion: Sorry, old habit...**

My fingers hovered over the keyboard as I tried to think of something to say.

_Why was this so hard? _

It was just Bella.

Bella who I talked to everyday, who I could talk to about anything, she wasn't different now just because I had feelings for her, she was still my Bella.

**BrwneyedLamb: What do you think about Carlie?**

**EAC_Lion: Carlie?**

**BrwneyedLamb: For the puppy... Carlie?**

I smiled. Carlie sounded perfect.

**EAC_Lion: That sounds perfect. I love it.**

**BrwneyedLamb: I'm glad you like it**

**EAC_Lion: Where did you get that?**

**BrwneyedLamb: Well... even though you said she's mine... you bought her and she's part yours... so I was messing around with our dad's names... Carlisle and Charlie**

I didn't have words. She named her puppy, the puppy I had bought her, after her father and my father. She was the perfect girl.

**EAC_Lion: You're really amazing you know that?**

I hit send before I even realized what I wrote. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I waited for her to respond. If I knew my Bella, she was staring at the screen in shock.

**EAC_Lion: I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable...**

**BrwneyedLamb: I'm just not use to you saying stuff like that**

I cursed about my past stupidity.

**EAC_Lion: Well it's true; it's always been true, I'm sorry I've never told you before**

I waited for her response as I pulled at my hair. I really needed to work on my anxiety.

**BrwneyedgrlLamb: So, about this date...?**

My eyes went wide.

**EAC_Lion: Yea?**

She was officially trying to kill me. Why had she been taking so long to type? I watched the clock for her response and it never changed which meant it hadn't even been a minute. The clock must have been fucking wrong because I swear it was hours in between her response.

**BrwneyedgrlLamb: What should I wear?**

My face had started to hurt because I was smiling so fucking much. Bella and I signed off with plans for me to pick her up tomorrow at six thirty for our date. I told her to dress casually, because honestly, Bella could be wearing a paper bag and she would still look fucking gorgeous. Sleep came easily after that.

* * *

><p>When I woke up the next morning, I practically jumped out of bed. I was so excited for my date with Bella that I swore time was slowing down on purpose just to torture me. I ran, cleaned my room, did my fucking homework, and that only took me until two o'clock.<p>

I had just gotten to the bottom of the steps to go get myself something to eat when the sight of my piano caught my eye. It had been a while since I played it. I was pulled into the room before I even realized I was moving. It was always like that, my piano was like a magnet that I couldn't fight. I sat down and rang my fingers over the keys. I tried to remember the last time I had played and couldn't remember. With everything that had been going on in the past couple months; I just hadn't made time for it.

My fingers started to move at their own accord and I wasn't even surprised at the song it was playing.

I had written the lullaby for Bella years ago, it used to float around in my head, torturing me, until I finally played it out. I never told her, at the time, I hadn't been sure why, but now it was clear.

Bella was constantly on my mind, even back then, I always brushed it off, but I knew it was because I had feelings for her I never wanted to admit. How I had fooled myself for years, I didn't know. All the signs were there, I cared for her, I was very protective of her, and the thought of her with someone else made my skin crawl.

One particular event came to mind.

When Bella was thirteen, she and Alice were having one of their weekly sleepovers at my house. I had just gotten in from playing ball with Emmett when I heard them giggling from Alice's room. I had planned on going in and saying hi, but stopped when I overheard their conversation. They had been talking about how they were just at Tyler Crawly house and how they had played spin the bottle.

My hand was on the door knob when I heard her beautiful voice.

"He stuck his tongue in my mouth, Alice! I had no idea what to do!" Bella exclaimed followed by a string of giggles.

Bella had experienced her first kiss.

I had seen red for the rest of the night. I never went in to the room and the week after, at school, was like a fog. Every time I had seen Tyler Crawly I wanted to punch him in the fucking face, and when he tried out for the football team that next week, I had gotten my chance. I had the guys go extra hard on him and when I got my chance to tackle him, I may have thrown an extra elbow in there. He was definitely feeling that try out for weeks after.

That should have clued me in on my feelings back then, but I was too stupid to realize them.

I looked up from my piano and out the window to see my mother walking up from her garden. As soon as I heard the back door open, I immediately switched from Bella's lullaby to the song I had written for my mother. I continued to play her song as I felt her hand on my shoulder just before she kissed the back of my head.

"Thank you, darling," she whispered.

I gave her a smile as she sat down next to me and listened to her song. When I finished playing, my mother gave me her applause.

"It's so lovely to hear you play again," she said softly with a smile.

"It has been a while."

"I have a feeling that the reason you're playing has something to do with the date you are having tonight?"

I snapped my head towards her in shock, causing her to chuckle.

"Your sister told me this morning before she left," she explained.

I rolled my eyes.

"Can't say I'm not surprised though," I looked at her with wide eyes. "Sweetie, your feelings for that girl are very obvious."

I let out a sigh and ran my hand through my hair. "If it was so obvious why did I never see it?"

My mother brushed something off my shoulder and ran her hand down my back. "Because, just like your father, you are a very blind man"

"I heard that," my father stated as he walked into the room.

I watched as he gave me a nod in acknowledgment, then leaned down and gave my mother a kiss.

"Well, it's true. If I remember correctly, you didn't realize your feelings for me until I was engaged to another man."

"What?" I asked in a shocked breath.

My mother had been engaged before? Since when?

Both of my parents laughed as my father leaned on the side of my piano.

"I met your father when I was sixteen years old. He was very, for lack of a better word, promiscuous when he was younger," my mother explained as she looked at my father with amused eyes. "Just like you were, darling. You two are a great deal a like."

My father chuckled and shook his head. "I wasn't half as bad as him, love."

"Hey!" I cried out in mock anger.

"Anyway, I fell in love with him almost instantly, though I never did say anything. I sat back and watched him for years, hoping he would see what was right in front of him, but he never did. So, when I turned twenty, I began dating a man named Henry."

My father grumbled at the mention of this mans name and shook his head in disgust.

"Your father didn't like him," she leaned in and whispered to me.

"He was a complete mongrel. Really, I don't know what you ever saw in him."

While he said that, I had a quick feeling of déjà vu. I had said that countless times about Jacob _fucking _Black.

"He was a good man, very charming, and very handsome." My father grumbled again, causing my mother to swat her hand at him. "We dated for about six months before he asked me to marry him."

"But you said you were in love with, Dad" I mumbled in confusion.

She nodded. "I was completely. But I had decided that I couldn't wait around forever, it seemed your father would never change, so I said yes to Henry."

I was shocked at how similar my mother's story was to Bella's.

"We were engaged for about two months when your father found out."

"Only because you didn't tell me," my father argued with a small smile on his face.

"I had continued to be friends with your father but decided to keep him in the dark about my engagement. Though I had decided to move on with my life, a very large part of me was still very much in love with him."

"I had been out with another female at the time," my father started in. "We were... studying."

My mother shook her head and huffed in amusement as I raised my eyebrow at my father.

Studying to my father had meant the same thing it had to me, they were fooling around.

"We were talking and she told me about your mother and Henry's engagement. I was immediately angry. Your mother was a dear friend of mine and to hear through someone else that she had been engaged for two months and didn't tell me hurt. I went right to her house and told her to explain herself."

"Your father tore through my house like a wild animal, ranting and raving about me lying to him and asking why I never told him."

"What did you do?" I asked my mother in interest.

"Your angelic mother here," my father answered. "Slapped me across the face, called me a blind idiot and a whore."

I looked over at my mother in complete shock. I had _never_ heard her use language like that before in my life. My mother giggled and reached out to grab my father's hand.

"She then proceeded to tell me that she had been in love with me for years and that it was my fault that I had never seen it. She was moving on with her life and it was too late. She kicked me out and sent me on my way, completely floored."

"You didn't know?"

My father shook his head as he rubbed his thumb over my mother's knuckles. "I had no idea. When we had met, I had made a pass at her and she shot me down."

My mother chuckled and her eyes filled with water. "I told him he didn't have a shot in hell. I wasn't the type of girl to just throw myself at some guy."

I chuckled. If I had made a pass at Bella when we were younger, I had no doubt in my mind that she would have told me the same thing.

"I drove all night. I didn't go anywhere in particular, just drove around with my thoughts," my father explained.

"What happened?" I asked in anticipation. I was completely and utterly enthralled by their story.

I watched as my father tugged my mother off of the bench and brought her into his arms.

"I showed up at her house that next morning, after not sleeping a wink the night before, and begged for a second chance. I told her I was stupid, that I was an idiot, and if she only gave me another chance, I'd prove it to her."

"I kicked him out again, telling him that he didn't know what he was talking about and I didn't want to hear it. But the words stuck, and later on that day, I broke off my engagement with Henry."

My mouth fell open.

My father smiled and kissed her forehead. "Three months later, she was mine, and I have never made the mistake of being blind again."

I smiled as they exchanged a kiss and words of love. A quick flash went through my mind of Bella and I in the same position years from then and I loved it.

"Wait," I interrupted them. "Three months? Why three months?"

Both of my parents chuckled before my mother pulled away and shook her head.

"That's a story for another time," she whispered.

My mother gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked out the door.

"Are you going to be bringing flowers to Bella this evening, son?"

I let out a sigh. I had thought about getting her more flowers but was undecided.

"You think I should?"

"Absolutely, what kind are you getting her?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Roses?" My father's look of horror had me back peddling. "What's wrong with roses?"

"Roses are typical... predictable. Each flower has a meaning; you really want Bella to know how you feel? Give her some flowers that explain it."

That was how I found myself researching flowers and their meaning for the next two hours. I found the perfect ones and had to call three flower shops until I found the one that had them all.

Who knew choosing flowers was so fucking complicated?

When I got off the phone with the florist shop I noticed it was five o'clock.

"Fuck!"

I shot up from my bed and ran to the shower. I told Bella I'd pick her up at six thirty. We'd be at the restaurant by seven and the movie started at eight thirty. Dinner and a movie, I was pretty sure that was ok for a first date.

Fuck if I knew.

I decided to keep my outfit casual, the restaurant I was taking her wasn't top scale, you would have had to drive to Seattle for something like that, but it wasn't run down either. Not that I would have minded driving to Seattle, but the place we were going was perfect. In fact, it was one of Bella's favorites. She loved their mushroom ravioli.

I decided on my black converse, black jeans, and my red button up flannel. I chose it because I remembered Bella telling me a long time ago that it was one of her favorites.

I had just finished brushing my teeth when my hair caught my eye. It was a mess. I ran my hands through it a couple times trying to calm it down but it did no good. I huffed and grabbed the gel from inside the medicine cabinet. I only put gel in my hair on special occasions, and taking Bella out on a date was a pretty fucking special occasion. Just as I popped open the cap; I heard her voice behind me.

"She likes it better without gel"

I turned to see Alice leaning against the bathroom doorway with her arms crossed.

"Really?"

She nodded her head and looked over my clothes. "Nervous?"

I chuckled and put the gel away. "No, of course not."

I looked over at my sister and saw her raise her eyebrow at me. I huffed and leaned against the bathroom sink.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not at all," she replied sarcastically.

I threw her a glare which she answered with a giggle.

"You have nothing be to nervous about, Edward."

I snorted. "I've never been on a date before, Al. I've never _had_ to go on a date before."

"Why, because girls just fell to their knees in front of you?"

I clamped my mouth shut and resisted the urge to shrug my shoulders. I didn't want to sound like a dick but, yeah, girls had basically fallen to their knees for me. I was Edward Cullen, they all wanted me.

"Wait," my sister began, taking me out of my thoughts. "Do you feel like you _have_ to take Bella out on a date? Is this what this is? Because it if it is, you need to call this off right now."

I groaned and ran my hand through my hair. "That's not what this is! I swear! I do want to take Bella out. It's just... fuck, Al, I don't know what to do! What if she has a bad time?"

That was my biggest fear. What if Bella had built up this perfect guy in her head and I just wasn't that guy? What if we had gone on the date and she decided that I was just a regular person and not this great guy she thought I was and decided she wanted nothing to do with me? My chest started to ache at just the thought.

Alice walked over and leaned against the sink next to me. "Edward, calm down. I just had to be sure. And I can almost guarantee that Bella will have a great time no matter what you guys do. Just be yourself."

I crossed my arms and looked down at my feet. I didn't want to be myself, I wanted to be someone that was worthy of Bella.

"What if she doesn't like me just being my self?" I mumbled.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as my sister rolled her eyes and heard her mumble something about stupid boys.

"She likes you, started to like you, because of _you_. You don't have to try and impress her or be something different, just be yourself."

I looked over at her for reassurance and she smiled back at me.

She was right, of course. Bella... felt... the way she felt about me for a while, I had nothing to be nervous about. Yes, it was a date, but it was also just me and Bella.

And that... I could do.

"You know, Al," I started as I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "For being a small, annoying, little thing, you sure are pretty smart."

Alice looked over at me with a mock glare. "I'm amazing, when are you going to realize this?"


	16. Chapter 16

****unBETA'd****

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* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I waved my hands in front of my face and let out a long breath. I needed to calm down. My heart was pounding in my chest, my face had started to turn red, and I was sweating. I checked my underarms for the fiftieth time just to make sure I didn't have any wet spots underneath them. I was pretty sure if I stained this outfit, Rosalie would have killed me.

I looked at myself in the mirror again and smoothed out my outfit. I had borrowed it from Rosalie and couldn't thank her enough. It was the first time in my life I had actually been _grateful_ for Alice and Rosalie primping me up. Because when I opened my closet early that day, I had started to have a panic attack when I saw my collection of clothes.

I could _not_ wear any of it.

I had called them both, nearly in tears, begging them to help me. Like the good friends that they are, they didn't hesitate and both were at my house within minutes. Alice did my hair in soft curls and Rosalie did my makeup. I was really impressed. My makeup highlighted my brown eyes and the pink lipstick made my lips look plump.

Rosalie and Alice both had brought over tons of outfits, but after much consideration, I had decided on one of Rosalie's. It was a light purple, long, quarter sleeve, shirt that bunched together on the sides and a cotton black, mini skirt. I even let Alice convince me to wear black wedges. I just had to watch where I stepped and would have to walk very, _very_, slowly.

The person in the mirror didn't look like me at all, and normally, that would piss me off. But I _wanted_ to look different for the date. I wanted to look like the girls that Edward had normally gone for.

I had contemplated this thought in my head over and over the night before after Edward had left. He went for tall girls, with long legs, big boobs, and that looked like super models. I didn't look like that at all. I looked like... well... me.

Just plain old, Bella.

I had been that way my entire life. So how come he was all of a sudden ok with that? I argued with myself back and forth for hours, he wasn't ok with it, he just felt bad for me, he was ok with it, he realized that there was something there. I had just about driven myself insane.

It didn't make any sense for him to just, out of the blue, want to date me. Edward didn't date _anyone._ What made me so special?

I had spent a couple more hours debating it before I decided I needed a distraction. I signed onto my Facebook and the first notification I had received was a post on my wall from Edward. I chewed my bottom lip to pieces forever until I finally looked at it.

My jaw just about hit the keyboard.

He had posted the video by Lifehouse 'Whatever It Takes'.

His comment attached to the video read, 'For all the years I've been stupid, this song explains how sorry I am.'

I think I watched the video about hundred times. The words were beautiful and I wanted nothing more than to call him and tell him yes, but there had still been a part of me that doubted him.

At midnight, I finally caved and texted Alice. All I said was, "hey are you up?"

Alice being, well, Alice, she knew exactly why I was texting and knew exactly what to say.

_**Stop over thinking this. You know my brother doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do. Sleep on it and then in the morning, decide what you want to do! Love you! :)**_

I took what she said into consideration. She was right. Edward never did anything he didn't want, it was against his nature.

When I went back to my laptop, I was shocked to see Edward was on. It was real late, he should have been sleeping. I bit on my thumb and stared at the screen for a good ten minutes before I gave in and messaged him. I was still unsure about the date, but when he told me I was amazing and apologized for never telling me before, I melted.

I stopped smoothing out my outfit and a small smile came to my face.

I was going out on a date with Edward.

I had dreamed of this moment for years and it was finally happening.

I heard the doorbell ring and my heart stopped. I hadn't realized that time had gone by so quickly. I scrambled to my bedroom door, almost breaking my ankle on one of Carlie's chew toys. I thanked the heavens that Emmett and Rosalie had offered to take her over Rosalie's house to keep an eye on her, though I suspected it had a little more to do with the fact that Emmett was completely in love with her.

He bounced into my room that morning begging to take her out and run around with her. Charlie also seemed smitten too, though he never actually admitted it. He gave me the usual lecture that I needed to feed her and take care of her and that she was my responsibility, but when I had come down from using the bathroom, I saw Charlie sitting on the ground with her in the living room rubbing her stomach and laughing at her movements.

He was completely in love.

I walked down the steps, _carefully, _took and deep breath and opened the front door.

Oh. My. God.

Edward was seriously _fuckhot._ It should be illegal for him to be _that_ good looking. He was standing at my front door in my favorite flannel shirt and his hair looked so good, I immediately wanted to run my fingers through it.

I had quickly realized that I had been awkwardly standing in my door way, staring at him, and hadn't said anything yet. I looked up at his face, expecting to see him looking at me with a strange look since I had just basically raped him with my mind, but he wasn't even looking at my face. Edward's eyes were raking over my body and I immediately felt my skin begin to heat up.

Edward had never looked at me like that before. His eyes burned with a look I had never seen before and his mouth hung open. I immediately started to panic. What if he didn't like how I looked? What if he thought I looked stupid? I started to move from one foot to another and opened my mouth to say something but was cut off by Edward.

"Fuck... Bella," he breathed out. "You look amazing."

I bit my lip as my face flamed in embarrassment.

"Thank you," I choked out and moved away from the door. "You want to come in?"

Edward nodded and walked through the door. I closed it behind him, that's when I saw the bouquet in his left hand.

"You really do look amazing, Bella," he whispered.

I blushed again. "Thanks. Is that for me?"

Edward looked down at the flowers as if he had forgotten they were in his hand. "Oh! Ugh, yeah... yes."

He handed me the flowers, hesitantly, as I took them and smiled. They smelled amazing and looked beautiful. It was a bouquet filled with different colored flowers and all different kinds. I tried to figure out what each flower was, but I only recognized the baby breath and lilies.

"They are beautiful, what are they?"

Edward cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. I watched him in amusement because I knew he only did that when he was nervous.

"Did you know that every flower has a meaning?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Of course I knew flowers had meaning, I just didn't know he knew they had meaning.

When I didn't answer, Edward continued with his explanation. "Well, they do... and I knew I wanted to get you flowers, but I didn't want to just get you regular flowers."

I continued to stare at him until he rolled his eyes. "Ok, my dad mentioned that they had different meanings and it would be more special and I agreed with him. The yellow ones," he started as he pointed to the flowers. "They're called Agrimony, they mean 'thankfulness', because I really am... thankful, that you decided to give me this opportunity to prove to you that I'm _not_ a complete ass."

I giggled and Edward smiled. "I ever tell you how beautiful that sound is?"

"What?"

He smiled shyly down at me and moved a stray piece of hair from my face.

"Your giggle."

My mouth fell open is shock but before I could comment, he cleared his throat and continued on with his explanation.

'The Baby Breath means 'pure of heart', because that's what you are. The pink ones here are called the Eglantine Rose; it means there's a 'wound to heal', because I have so many of those that I have to heal for you."

My eyes prickled with tears as I stared at the flowers.

"The white ones are called Jonquil and they mean 'return my affection'... which I'm desperately hoping you will."

I chuckled. Didn't he know I already did?

"The orange lilies mean 'desire' and 'passion', because that's what I feel for you, Bella. I think I always have," he whispered.

I moved my eyes back up to his and saw them filled with hope mixed with a little bit of sorrow.

"And the last ones here, the white and yellow, they are called Plumeria, they mean 'new beginnings'... because that's what I want us to have... new beginnings."

I couldn't speak if someone had paid me. I just stared at him in shock and wonder. Was this the same Edward I had known a week ago? It didn't seem like it. Since when did he know about all this stuff?

A tear escaped my eye which caused Edward to scrunch his brow together in confusion.

"If you don't like them..."

"I love them!" I cried out, interrupting him. "I'm sorry; you just... surprised me is all."

Edward smiled immediately. "Well, I hope to keep surprising you."

Before I started to cry again, I told him I was going to put the flowers in a vase and I would be right back. I walked into the kitchen and took a deep breath.

It was like all my dreams were coming true and I didn't know how to handle it. I decided I would worry about it later and just go with the flow. I found an old vase, stuffed in the back of our kitchen cabinet, covered in dust. It had been a while since it had been used. I quickly washed it off and filled it with the flowers and water. I wiped my hands off and headed back into the living room. I opened my mouth to let him know I was back but never got the chance.

I slipped on the rug in my hallway and landed flat on my ass. I wanted to cry in embarrassment. My ass hurt and my face was beat red. Why could I never be a normal person for once in my life?

"Shit, are you ok?" Edward asked as he rushed over to me and knelt down, making my embarrassment grow even more.

I forced my tears away, because crying would only add to my embarrassment, and nodded.

"Yeah, it's just gravity proving to me that wearing these shoes is a bad idea."

Edward chuckled. "They aren't ones you are use to wearing. I thought you hated shoes like that?"

I made a sort of grunt noise and shrugged my shoulders. Edward helped me stand and I almost fell only one more time.

"Did you wear those shoes for me?"

I bit my lip and looked down at my feet. "This is the stuff girls usually wear when you go after them... so I figured I should wear something you like."

I shuffled my feet back and forth for a couple seconds before I felt Edward's fingers under my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

"Bella, can you do me a favor?" I nodded. "Go change."

My eyes went wide. He wanted me to go change? I thought he actually liked how I looked.

"You don't... that's fine, I'll go change," I mumbled and started to pull away.

Edward cursed under his breath and brought me back to his chest before he cupped my face in his hands.

"Bella, you look _amazing,_" he practically groaned out. "I love it and if you want to keep this on then I'm completely ok with that. But I want you to know that you don't have to wear things that make you uncomfortable just for me. I asked _you_ out. Not someone you think you should be, so I want you to wear whatever you want."

I searched his eyes for any sign of doubt, but found none. When he gave me another smile and nod, I made my decision.

"Give me a couple minutes to change?"

Edward agreed and I made my way up the stairs. I quickly stripped out of Rose's outfit and slipped into a black, quarter sleeve shirt, my favorite torn, blue, jeans and my converse sneakers.

I felt like myself again.

I turned my light off and rushed back down the stairs. Edward stood up from the couch, looked over my outfit, and smiled.

"There she is," Edward whispered.

I walked up to him and smiled.

"And just for the record," he began softly. "I still think you look fucking amazing."

I giggled and felt my face heat up.

"Should we go?"

I nodded and we both made our way out the door.

* * *

><p>I checked to make sure all the lights were off downstairs before I made my way up the steps with Carlie following me close behind. I tried to shake off the feeling on rejection but just couldn't. First dates were supposed to be great and gave you a reason to go out with that person again. What if Edward had decided that our first date was so bad, he didn't want a second one?<p>

I opened my bedroom door with a sigh, and looked down at the ground to make sure Carlie followed me in before turning around. When I looked up I let out a loud screech as my hand flew to my chest and I took a step back, closing the door with my back.

Standing by my window, was Edward, with his hands up in front of him and a worried look on his face.

"Jesus!" I breathed out. "You scared the shit out of me!"

Edward opened his mouth to speak but stopped when Emmett's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Bella! Are you ok?"

I heard the door knob jiggle right before I was pushed forward from the force of Emmett opening the door. I quickly jumped forward and stopped the door from opening any further than a couple inches.

Sure, Emmett knew Edward would sneak in my room at night; he often joined us in the movie sessions or just talking when he himself couldn't sleep, but I was almost positive he wouldn't be ok with the nightly visits since we had started dating.

_Were we dating?_

I frowned at my thought before popping my head towards the door opening.

"Do you knock?" I asked, breathless.

"I heard screaming" Emmett stated as he tried to step into my room.

I blocked his entry and exclaimed, "No you didn't"

My heart was pounding and I could feel my cheeks burn. I prayed he believed me.

Emmett looked at me skeptically. "Why are you so jumpy?" He tried to step through the door again but I didn't move. "Why are you blocking the door?"

My eyes went wide as I tried to think of a good lie. I was such a terrible liar and he probably saw right through me.

"I'm not dressed!" I stuttered while I moved my body away from the opening, making my head the only thing visible.

Emmett continued to stare me down. I took a deep breath to calm my heart and squared my shoulders.

"I could have sworn I heard screaming," he mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "You heard Carlie. She wanted her chew toy I was holding."

My brother pressed his lips together before he nodded his head. He mumbled a quick goodnight before turning around and going back to his bedroom.

I wasn't sure if he believed me or not, but I was extremely thankful he decided to leave. I let out a sigh of relief and closed my bedroom door, remembering to lock it incase he decided to barge in again.

I turned back around to see Edward standing up from his hiding spot on the other side of my bed.

I still couldn't believe he was actually in my room.

"I'm sorry I scared you," he whispered as he walked around the bed with Carlie following him, wagging her tail and sticking her tongue out.

We both stared at each other in silence. My mouth was slightly open in shock and his hands were shoved in his pockets. I broke the gaze first when I felt my cheeks start to heat up again.

I saw Carlie continue to wag her tail before her face scrunched up in frustration from not getting any attention from Edward.

_Join the club._

I cleared my throat and motioned towards the puppy. "You better say hi to her before she starts to bark and makes Emmett come in here again."

Edward's head snapped down towards her before he kneeled down and began to pet her.

"Hey, girl," he whispered as he scratched the back of her ears.

I rolled my eyes at how utterly and completely happy Carlie looked. I leaned back against my bedroom door while Edward said hello.

After a couple seconds, he stood back up, much to Carlie's dismay, and took a step towards me. Carlie whimpered and I chuckled.

_Great, _I thought. _Another girl I had to fight for Edward's attention._

Edward bent back down, picked up Carlie and put her in her box. Carlie jumped up and put her paws over the box and I could have sworn she threw me a dirty look.

I laughed quietly.

"Sorry I scared you," Edward repeated.

I nodded. "You said that."

Edward nodded before sticking his hands back in his pockets. Everything was still so awkward.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't crawl through my window and scare me just so you could apologize to me for scaring me."

Edward chuckled and shook his head. "Ugh, no."

I waited for him to continue but he never did. He just stood there and rocked back and forth on his heels. After about a minute, I had enough. I was done feeling awkward.

I huffed and stood up from the door. "Why is this so awkward, Edward?"

He let out a breath of relief and his body immediately relaxed.

"I have no idea," he practically groaned as he ran his hand through his unruly hair.

"I mean, we..." I looked down at my feet while my cheeks burned. "_Like_ each other... right?"

When I looked back up, I saw Edward looking at me with a small smile on his face.

"Right," he answered with a nod and I couldn't contain the smile that broke out on my face.

"So, no more awkwardness," I stated, still smiling.

Edward chuckled. "We'll get it right next time."

My heart stopped and I had told use every ounce of control I had to not jump up and down.

"Next time?" I asked in a breathless whisper.

He took another step forward. "Wednesday is the St. Marcus Festival. Do you want to go with me?"

I bit my lip in a failed attempt to cover my face breaking grin. "I'd love to."

I was shocked to see Edward's smile mirror my own.

"You know a phone call would have sufficed," I told him in a teasing tone.

He chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. "I know, but that wasn't the only reason I came here."

"It wasn't?" He looked back up at me and shook his head. "What's the other reason?"

Edward stood up tall, gave me a small smile and started to walk towards me.

"I wanted to apologize."

My face scrunched up in confusion. "What for?"

Edward closed the distance between us, tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, looked me directly in my eyes and said, "Because I didn't kiss you on our first date."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt my heart began to pound. I could feel his breath on my face and may have whimpered when I saw his tongue shoot out to lick his lips, I'm not too sure.

Edward's hand moved from my hair to cup my cheek as his face inched closer to mine. When our lips were centimeters apart, he stopped and looked back and forth between my eyes. I tilted my head up towards him to give him permission to his silent question.

When his lips touched my own, I had to lock my knees to keep them from buckling. His smooth lips caressed my own in slight pecks, first to my top lip, then to my bottom. He continued with the pecks as his thumb rubbed on my cheek, but I wanted more. I opened my mouth and lightly touched his bottom lip with my tongue.

It was the only invitation Edward needed.

When he felt my tongue, he immediately moaned, brought his other hand up to cup my face and pushed me back against the door with his own body. Edward continued to hold my head in place as our tongues battled for dominance and our lips pressed so hard together, I was afraid they might be bruised after.

My hands worked at their own accord and I suddenly found them tangled in his beautiful bronzed locks. How many times had I dreamed of running my fingers through his hair while he kissed me and it was actually happening? I couldn't remember.

I gripped his hair in my hands and pulled his even closer, causing him to moan against my lips again. The kiss seemed to last forever and I never wanted it to end, I would gladly die from lack of oxygen if it meant I died kissing Edward.

After what seemed like hours, Edward eventually pulled his lips away from mine and placed his forehead against my own. We were both panting from lack of breath, not saying anything. His hands were still on my face and my fingers were still wrapped in his hair.

I kept my eyes closed and basked in the tingles that I was feeling on my lips.

"Damn," Edward panted out. "That's what I've been missing out on?"

I opened my eyes, looked up at him and giggled. "Um... I guess?"

He moaned again in between pants, licked his lips and said, "I better make up for lost time them."

Before I even had a chance to respond, Edward's lips were back on mine and there was only one word I could use to describe it...

Fireworks.


	17. Chapter 17

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**i wish i owned edward cullen, i'd be a very happy girl :)**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

My name is Isabella Marie Swan, daughter of Forks Police Chief, Charlie Swan, and I'm an addict.

I am addicted to kissing Edward Cullen.

I wanted to do it _all the time_ and didn't care about my daily life. The way his lips felt on mine, the way his tongue massaged my own, I loved it all. When he left my room after our date, I had laid in bed for hours just thinking about his lips. It was more than I could have ever imagined it would be. I had finally understood why girls had always come back for more, because his lips were addicting.

When my alarm had gone off the next morning, I had about an hour of sleep but you couldn't tell by the smile on my face. It hadn't until I was in the shower and cleaning my hair that the thought had come to me.

How were we going to act at school?

Normally, when we were at school, I had to watch as girl after girl threw herself at Edward, but now that we had been... dating... would I still have to watch that?

And if I didn't, how would the girls around the school act? I didn't care what they thought; I never did, but having to deal with more torture than I already had been _not_ something I was looking forward too. The girls at school were very nasty when it came to Edward, I couldn't blame them, he was gorgeous, but I did _not_ want to be in their firing range anymore than I already was.

I thought about it as I stepped out of the shower, dried myself off, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. But when my phone beeped, I couldn't think of anything but rushing to see if it was Edward.

_**Good morning, beautiful – E**_

It was sent right after I had gotten in the shower. I started to type out a response when another text ran through.

_**Looks like the teachers strike actually went through, want to go get some breakfast? – E**_

I rushed downstairs and my father confirmed Edward's text. Fork's teachers had been threatening a strike for months and had finally gone through with it. Emmett had already gone back to sleep, which I had no doubt our entire school had probably done, but I had no plan for that. I wrote Edward back and he picked me up fifteen minutes later.

The teachers strike ended up lasting a week, and it was the best week of my life. Dating Edward had been nothing less than magical. Every morning, I woke up to a 'good morning beautiful' text and every night went to sleep with a text that said, 'sweet dreams, love'.

Had this been the Edward Cullen I had known all along? It couldn't have been. He was sweet and caring and treated me like I was so... precious. If it was at all possible, he made me fall in love with him even more.

We had spent every moment humanly possible together. Monday we had watched a movie on my couch, all though, I couldn't tell you what it had been about, because the minute Edward pulled me into his arms, all rational thoughts left my head. The entire time in my head I had been screaming for Edward to kiss me and my wish had finally come true at the end of the movie. We sat on my couch, making out, until Emmett came in. It was the first time his famous grumbling had started.

_Jesus, do you two ever come up for air?_

_Stop that shit!_

_Keep it PG Cullen before I rip your fucking hands off!_

I didn't care though, and Edward didn't seem to, either. We just laughed at Emmett, but did cut it down... just a little, when he had been around, anyway.

Tuesday we had hung out with everyone at Rosalie and Jaspers and I was surprised at how normal it felt. There was no change since Edward and I had been dating, it had been exactly the same. The only difference had been that when we all hung out, I didn't have to wish for Edward's arms around me because they already were... _all the time_.

Any chance he had gotten, Edward pulled me into his arms, or took my hand into his. I loved it. One night, Jasper, Edward, and I were sitting on the couch while Rosalie, Alice, and Emmett were sitting at a table playing cards. Edward and Jasper had been sitting on the edge of the couch talking about football and acting out plays on a piece of paper on the coffee table while I was sitting back, patiently waiting for the card game to get finished so we could start another one. I had turned towards Alice when she called my name when I felt Edward's arm go around my shoulders. I had looked over, thinking he wanted to ask me something, only to find him still engaged in his conversation with Jasper. When he had sat back, he had put his arm around me and pulled me to him, without even a second thought, like his body automatically wanted me closer. I was on a high for the rest of the night.

Wednesday we had gone to the St. Marcus Festival, although, at the beginning of the night, it seemed like we would never get there. Since the teacher's strike was still in affect, Carlisle and Esme decided Alice and Edward could go to Carlisle's work luncheon. Edward had tried to get out of it, but his parents refused. He texted me the entire time, apologizing, and saying he would get out the first chance he got. I wasn't worried, the luncheon started at one in the afternoon, we hadn't planned on going to the festival until around five. We had plenty of time.

I had given the doctor's too much credit.

At four, Edward had texted me saying that there were still five speakers left and each were allowed a half an hour for their speeches. Plus, the luncheon had been a little over an hour away. He apologized over and over but I told him there had been no need for him to be sorry.

At seven, Edward still wasn't back and I was outback running around with Carlie. I had decided that I would spend the night reading until Edward called me when he got home. I had been just about to take Carlie in when Edward's Volvo pulled up in front of my house. He ran out of the car, wrapped his arms around me, and begged for forgiveness. I giggled at his appearance and told him to stop apologizing. He had on black slacks, a silver button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a white tie, and his hair a beautiful mess. He refused to change, explaining we had wasted enough time, and headed to the festival. We had an amazing time.

Edward won me a stuffed bear that I had named, Mr. Giggles, and shared funnel cake. We also took pictures together in the photo booth, which to my complete and utter surprise, had been taped to the dashboard of his car the very next day.

On the nights that we didn't stay in or hang out with the rest of the group, we went bowling, went to play pool, went to the movies... we were like a normal... couple.

Although, we hadn't yet exactly established what we... _were_... to each other.

I had gotten over my question about us dating, because it had been pretty obvious we were, but that question had turned into... is that all?

Had we been _just_ dating or were we in a relationship? I wanted to ask him so bad but I didn't want to push him.

We ended up going back to school that next week and all my fears I had at the beginning started to resurface. I had seen some girls while Edward and I were out on our dates, but I knew they wouldn't think anything of it. Edward and I had gone out by ourselves all the time when we weren't dating, so it wasn't anything new.

I didn't tell anyone about my fears, not even Alice. I knew what she would say. Edward didn't care about any of them so why should I? But it wasn't that simple. I watched as the girls stared at him, batted their eyes at him, and blatantly flirted with him in front of everyone in the school. I also saw the fury in their eyes when Edward ignored their advances and knew that they were looking for someone to blame.

I let out a sigh and closed my locker. I knew I would have to get over it all soon because I couldn't keep up with what I was doing forever. Every time he tried to touch, hold, or kiss me while we were at school, I had moved away or put my head down and made some excuse about having to get to class. If Edward had noticed, he never mentioned anything.

"Ready for lunch?"

Edward's voice made me jump causing me to break out of my thoughts.

I put my hand to my chest while Edward chuckled. "You are brilliantly unobservant you know that?"

My cheeks flamed before I punched him in the stomach. "It's not nice to point that out."

Edward chuckled again before moving in close to me.

"I'm sorry. But it's true, love." He boxed me in against the locker and my heart started to pound in my chest. "Forgive me?"

He moved a piece of loose hair from my face as I looked up at him and bit my lip.

I rolled my eyes and said sarcastically, "I guess so."

I giggled when Edward tickled my sides but stopped when I realized what he was about to do. His mouth moved closer to my own and though I wanted nothing more than to feel them on me, my fears had won. My eyes quickly scanned the hallway and saw a couple students staring at us which caused me to put my head down before Edward could move any closer.

I heard him sigh before he leaned his forehead against my shoulder. He lifted his head, stood straight up and took a step back.

"Are you mad at me?"

My head snapped up in confusion. "What? No! I was just kidding, Edward."

He ran a hand through his hair.

"Then why won't you kiss me?" I opened my mouth to answer him but he cut me off. "It feels like it's been forever."

The last part was in a whisper. My brows went together in confusion while I smiled.

"We kissed this morning, and if I recall, kissed a lot last night when you dropped me off," my cheeks flamed at the memory from the night before.

_Edward and I had spent the night at his house watching movies and studying. When he finally drove me home, we spent ten minutes in his car making out. _

_Somehow, I had ended up across his lap in the driver's seat with my legs stretched over to the passenger seat, and my hands in his hair while he cupped my face._

_I pulled away, panting, and said, "I have to go."_

"_No!" he shouted while putting his hands up in protest._

"_Yes!" I giggled and tried to move off his lap._

_He grabbed my face and started to kiss me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled him closer, and moaned when I felt his tongue enter my mouth. _

"_Mm," I moaned, pushing myself away from him. "I'll talk to you later."_

_I finally pulled myself off of his lap and grabbed my bag. _

"_I'll walk you to the door," he said, still panting._

_I laughed. "No, you stay here. If you walk me in I'll never get inside." Edward pouted causing me to laugh again. "Call me later."_

_I moved to open the door but was pulled back into another passionate kiss by Edward. I had finally gone inside ten minutes later._

A small smile had come to Edward's face as the memory came to him but it quickly returned to worry.

"But you never let me kiss you in public."

"Not true!" I argued. "I kiss you all the time when we're out."

_Good, Bella. Just deny it._

Edward pressed his lips together.

"Fine. You never let me kiss you _at school._"

I clamped my mouth shut. So he _had_ noticed. I looked down at my feet and kicked at a non existent piece of dirt. Edward let out another sigh and moved to lean against the locker next to me.

"Are you ashamed of me?"

My head snapped up again in shock. "That's ridiculous."

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "No it's not. I put you through hell for a long time. It wouldn't surprise me if you're having second thoughts."

I immediately felt like shit. Edward sounded so full of insecurities and it was all because of _my_ stupid insecurities. I pulled my bag up onto my shoulder and turned towards him.

"I'm not having second thoughts, Edward. I am completely and utterly happy, trust me."

I watched as he searched my face and I gave him a smile so he knew I was telling him the truth.

"Then why won't you let me kiss you at school?"

"It's stupid," I mumbled as I looked around at the students walking by.

And in that moment, I had known it really was. Some were students still watching us, but that shouldn't have mattered. The only thing that should have mattered was how we felt about each other.

"Tell me," he pleaded.

I looked back at his face and saw nothing but concern. I let out a breath and rolled my eyes.

"Edward... everyone _loves_ you here. Guys... girls... how would it look to them if you just started kissing someone who is suppose to be your best friend?"

Edward scrunched his face together. "I don't care how it looks to them."

I nodded. "I know. But all of these girls are going to be pretty pissed when you stop giving attention to them and start giving it to me."

His jaw locked and his eyes burned with anger. "So... what you're telling me is that I can't kiss my own girlfriend at school because some girls who have a stupid fucking crush might get pissed?"

My eyes had gone wide and the world seemed to stop. There was that word that I had questioned about since we had started dating and he had just said it without a thought.

"Girlfriend?" I stuttered out.

Edward's eyes widened slightly before he scratched the back of his neck and shrugged. "Well... yeah. That's what you are, aren't you?"

I bit my lip to try and conceal my face breaking grin, but it didn't help.

"You know," I started, my eyes blazing with amusement. "Traditionally, a guy _asks_ a girl to be his girlfriend before he just assumes it."

Edward took a step toward me with the right side of his mouth pulled up in a smirk.

"You want me to ask?"

I giggled but didn't answer. He didn't _have_ to ask, I was his completely already.

I opened my mouth to let him off the hook but didn't get a chance. Right there, in the middle of Fork's High hallway that bad been filled with hundreds of students, Edward dropped down to one knee.

"Bella Swan..." he began as he took my hands in his own.

Kids had stopped walking just to watch the scene play out.

"What are you doing?" I yelled in a whisper at him while I tried to pull my hands away. "Get up!"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Will you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my girlfriend?"

Every single guy around us had wide eyes while the girls stared, jaws down on the floor. I was so embarrassed, and was positive that my face was as red as a Christmas decoration, but I couldn't stop smiling.

Edward sat there on his knee, smiling up at me, patiently waiting for my answer. I could hear the whispers around us, but in that moment, I didn't care.

All I cared about was him.

I giggled and nodded. "Yes."

His face broke out in the most breathtaking smile before he stood, took me in his arms, and spun me around in excitement.

When he put me down, he cupped my face in his hands and whispered, "Can I kiss you now?"

He never had to ask me that again. All of those insecurities had flown out the window and my mind lost all train of thought when his lips touched my own. I didn't even care that people had still been staring as we walked to the lunch room, hand in hand.

I was Edward Cullen's girlfriend.

They could all kiss my ass.

Word had spread fast and by the time we made it to the cafeteria, Rosalie and Alice were all over me asking me to explain what happened. We spent the entire lunch just laughing and joking around with our friends and I didn't once flinch or pull away when Edward touched, held, or kissed me. I had never been happier.

"I'm going to grab a drink. You want anything, love?"

I shook my head just as Rosalie spoke up. "Ok, I've been dying to ask, what is with the nickname?"

I looked over at Rosalie and silently shook my head. She rolled her eyes and waved her hand at me, dismissively.

"You guys are together, now, Bella. I think we can ask him about it"

"What nickname?" Edward asked in confusion, confirming my suspicions that he never realized what he had been calling me.

"You're serious?" Rose asked, shocked. "You don't realize what you call her?"

"That's so romantic!" I heard Angela whisper.

"I call her by her name," Edward stated.

Everyone at the table had started to laugh.

"Dude," Emmett began. "Are you really that dumb?"

Edward looked over at me confused. "Love?"

Their laughs went harder and I rolled my eyes.

"You're calling her _love_, not _Bella_!" Alice cried out as she wiped tears from her eyes from laughing so hard.

Edward looked taken back before he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded. "It's true. You call me love all the time."

"I didn't even realize," he mumbled. "Did I just start?"

I giggled and shook my head.

"When?"

Everyone at the table continued to laugh.

"Um, you started last summer."

"Really?"

He was completely shocked.

"You really didn't know you were calling her that?" Jasper asked with a chuckle.

Edward shook his head. They all continued to snicker at our table.

"You don't have to call me that anymore if you don't want to"

He snapped his eyes over to mine and looked at me like I was crazy. "Why would I do that?"

I shrugged my shoulders. Edward just gave me a small smile and a kiss on the forehead before he stood up and walked away to get a drink.

* * *

><p>The next month with Edward had been nothing less than magical. He had completely changed from the womanizer I had known, to the best boyfriend in the world. He wasn't scared to show people that we were together and jumped at every chance he got to hold me. The night after he asked me out when we had gone back to his house to hang out, I noticed he had two new pictures on his bedside table. One was a picture of me and him I had never seen before, it was from Angela's first photo shoot of us, and the other was of just me. It had been one he had taken himself a couple weeks before on his phone in my backyard. He said it was his favorite. Also that night, his Facebook picture changed to one of us together in the lunch room Angela had taken earlier in the week and our relationship became "Facebook official". I was surprised to see how many people had actually "liked" it and commented something along the lines, 'about time!' or 'so happy for you two!'. There were the jealous girls that tried to comment with something nasty, but the next morning, those comments were gone and they weren't even friends with Edward anymore. When I asked him about it, he just stated they were jealous and he could care less about them.<p>

But my fears and insecurities would still creep up on me.

For the first month, every time his phone had gone off, I had been afraid it was some girl. I never asked because I didn't want to be _that_ girlfriend, but it plagued my mind. Especially the one day we had been sitting in his living room studying. His phone kept going off with text messages and he would have to stop to answer it.

Was it someone he had hooked up with? Was he texting her back?

The doorbell had rung, letting us know our pizza had arrived, and Edward had gotten up to pay. Just as he closed the door, it went off again. I bit my lip as I stared at the phone across the table. I had wanted to know so badly who it was, but refused to invade his privacy. But, like the entire time since we had gotten together, Edward surprised me again.

"Love, can you read that for me?"

I had been shocked and it had taken me a minute to move. Edward had _never_ let _anyone_ read through his phone or even touch his phone without him around. But had asked me to read him the text he had received. It didn't stop there, anytime he was away from his phone he asked me to read what it had said, or if he went into the shower, he told me to answer or write back and let them know he was in the shower. He had even forgotten his phone at my house a couple times and left it there for the remainder of the night. I never went through it; I knew I didn't have to.

He had been completely honest with me when a girl would text him and told me every time it had happened. It was a lot at first, and he told me how he would say he was with me, but they wouldn't listen. Eventually, he just ignored them all together until they stopped.

Those girls were vicious.

I had tried to ignore their jealous comments and stares, but I wasn't as strong as him. Sometimes, they took a hold of me and reached every insecurity I had. Those days would leave me extremely exhausted and very cranky. I would snap at Edward for no reason which would cause us to start to argue.

The memory of our first big fight still caused me to shiver.

_We had gone to our meadow after school to try and get some alone time since we had decided to hang out with the group later on that night._

_That day had been particularly hard and the girls were nastier than ever. I was in the bathroom when Tanya had walked in. Edward and I hadn't heard much from her since we had started going out, last we heard, she was dating some guy named, James Laurent, from a school in Seattle. _

_She had walked into the bathroom and saw me standing there. A sickening smile came to her face before she started talking about how James was an amazing boyfriend, everything she could have asked for. I just rolled my eyes as I went to go dry my hands with the paper towels._

"But, of course, Edward is _such_ a better kisser than him and has a bigger dick, too! That's the only thing that sucks!"

_My body had gone tense and I rushed out of the bathroom while the giggles of the girls faded behind me. _

_So, when I heard Lauren Mallory in gym saying to her friend, loud enough so she knew I heard, that I was just a charity project to Edward, he didn't really want to be with me, I snapped._

"_Why do you listen to them? I don't care what they think and neither should you!" Edward cried out in frustration._

"_That's easy for you to say when you've fucked half of them!" I snapped._

_Edward groaned and covered his face with his hands. He had stayed like that for a couple seconds before he sat up from his lying down position and looked me in the eye._

"_Tell me what to do, Bella, to make this better. I can't change my past, but what can I do to convince you that I've changed from that person I use to be?"_

_I picked at the grass next to my leg. "Just forget it."_

_Edward shook his head. "Not going to happen." _

_I stayed silent, afraid I would say something I regretted._

"_These girls are just jealous because they aren't even _half_ the girl that you are," he whispered, causing a small smile to form on my face. "Everything they say is a lie. Just don't listen."_

_I clenched my jaw as Tanya's voice rang through my head. _

"_Excuse me if hearing some girl, that I _know _you've been with, talk about the size of _my boyfriend's_ dick pisses me off!" I said through clenched teeth._

"_What?" Edward asked, confused._

_I huffed and stood up. "They aren't lying when they have seen your..." I trailed off and motioned my hand towards his crotch._

_Edward yelled out loudly in frustration before he jumped up with his fists clenching at his sides. _

"_So what if they have?" He yelled. "They aren't anymore!"_

"_And I'm just supposed to be ok with that?" I yelled back._

"_No!" Edward groaned, almost in pain. "But you're supposed to know that I'm with you now and that's all that matters."_

_I snorted. "I watched you for years whore yourself out and I was there the entire time, what makes now any different?"_

_I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. I knew things were different, I was just angry. _

_Edward's face flashed different emotions. First shock, then anger, then hurt._

"_You're never going to forgive me, are you?" _

_I looked up to they sky to try and hold my tears back. My mouth had no filter when I was angry and I had constantly said things I didn't mean. I knew Edward had changed. He had proved it to me every day that we were together. And even though, at the time, I didn't want to admit it, I had forgiven him a long time ago for everything he had put me through._

"_I shouldn't have said that," I mumbled. "I'm sorry."_

_Edward just stood there in silence._

_I sniffled. "I'll understand if you think this is a lost cause and just want to cut out before it gets any worse"_

_What the hell was I saying? I didn't even know. All I knew was I had gotten this sudden fear that Edward would assume I would never forgive him and figure it wasn't worth it. _

_Tears streamed down my face while I turned around and walked toward the edge of the meadow._

_But I had never got there. _

_I felt a hand on my arm before I was snapped back around. I felt hands on my face and lips smash against my own. Edward kissed me until I was breathless before he pulled apart and leaned his forehead against my own._

"_I'm not going anywhere. I want you... no one else."_

I had spent the rest of the night apologizing to him which he waved off and told me there was nothing to apologize over. It wasn't our last argument, but it would be the last one over what other people had been saying. Even though it was hard, I took Edward's advice and ignored their comments, after a while, they eventually died down and I couldn't have been more grateful.

* * *

><p>"Will you do it or not?" Rosalie asked with a slight attitude.<p>

Alice, Rosalie and I had been sitting in Rosalie's kitchen for forty five minutes as she tried to convince her older sister, Charlotte, to act as their mom and talk to Charlie about me spending the night.

I rolled my eyes. Ever since Edward and I had started dating, I was no longer allowed to spend the night over Alice's. The only exception to the rule was when Edward was staying over my house with Emmett, which also wasn't allowed if I was home. I had gotten into a big fight with Charlie when he first announced that rule, but Edward agreed without any trouble.

It pissed me off.

He still snuck in at night every once and a while, but refused to stay all night like he use to.

When I asked him about it, he looked over at me with a look of fear and said, "Bella, he has a gun in almost _every_ room of the house. I don't want him to catch me here one morning."

I had laughed at his fear but was still completely frustrated. I wanted to spend an entire night with Edward and wake up in his arms the next morning. The advantage of spending the night together was also something that would work in my favor.

Edward and I made out... _a lot._ But that was _all_ we did, and I had started to get extremely aggravated. I was desperate to take our relationship to the next level, but he wasn't budging. Whenever my hands strayed anywhere other than his head or neck, he stopped. If we were at his house, he would say his parents were in the other room, if we were at my house, he would say Charlie and/or Emmett would be home soon, and if we were at the meadow, he would say we had to get going before I got in trouble.

I wanted to cry.

I knew he wanted me. I could _feel_ how much he wanted me those few times he would allow his body to touch my own... so why had he been hesitating?

I talked to Rosalie about it, because talking to Alice about her own brother and sex would have been too awkward, and she told me maybe Edward was just afraid. I explained that it didn't make sense for him to be afraid, since that was a territory he had been to before, so it had to be something else.

That was when the plan to lie to Charlie had been thought up.

Esme was going to Seattle for the night to visit her mother and Carlisle was working the late shift at the hospital, so we were all planned to hang out at the Cullen's and spend the night. Rosalie said we would just tell Charlie that we were having a girl's night at her house but really be at Alice's. I went along with the idea and had actually been pretty convincing when I told Charlie the story. He agreed on the condition that he spoke with Rosalie's mother first.

"Why do I have to do this?" Charlotte asked in a bored tone.

Charlotte was twenty three years old and going to college to become a nurse. She would come home a couple weekends out of the month to get her laundry done and see her boyfriend, Peter.

"Because Bella and my brother are together and the Chief won't allow Bella to sleep at my house anymore if he's there," Alice explained. "And my parents won't be home tonight and we all want to hang out. So, we need to have Charlie think we're staying here so Bella can actually stay at my house."

"He agreed but said he needed to speak to your mom first," I mumbled.

"He's a pretty smart guy," Charlotte said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah... so will you do it?" Rosalie asked again.

"You want me to lie to the Chief of police just so your friend can get freaky with her boyfriend?"

My cheeks flamed and I looked down at my hands.

"Don't act all righteous, I remember covering for you plenty of times when you stayed over Peter's," Rose argued.

Charlotte pressed her lips together and stared at her little sister. Neither had said a word, they just had a silent battle with their eyes. Charlotte finally gave in and rolled her eyes.

"Fine, call him"

I quickly grabbed my cell phone and dialed Charlie at work. We talked for a couple seconds before I explained to him I had Rosalie's mom there to talk to him. When Charlotte took the phone, panic soared through me. What if he saw right through our lie? What if he knew he wasn't speaking to Rosalie's mom? Grant it, Charlie had never met Rosalie's parents since they were hardly ever around, but he had known what they looked like and had spoken to them on a couple occasions. I listened to the conversation and was shocked to hear how much Charlotte sounded like their mother.

"Oh, of course, Charlie! I completely understand! It will just be the girls, I promise. My Rosie had me go out and buy some ice cream and movies just for tonight"

Charlotte stuck her tongue out at her younger sister's angered face. Rosalie _hated_ when her mother called her 'Rosie', which was strange because she didn't seem to mind when Emmett did it, but I never questioned her.

The conversation started to end and I let out a breath of relief. It seemed like Charlie was going for it.

"Here's my number in case you have to reach me..."

All three of us girls began to panic and waved at her to stop. She gave a dismissive wave, turned her back to us, said goodbye to my father and hung up the phone.

"What the hell, Char!" Rosalie cried out. "Why did you give him your number? What if he calls?"

Charlotte walked over to their fridge and took out a bottle of water. "You girls aren't that smart are you?"

When none of us answered, she continued.

"Chief Swan is worried this is all some big hoax so you can spend the night with your boyfriend, he wanted a number to call to check in unannounced. So, I gave him my cell. My voicemail isn't set up so if I can't answer it, he still won't know it's me, but if I do answer, I could come up with some lame ass excuse that I ran to the store or something, then text you guys to let you know so you can back up the story in case he calls Bella's phone after."

Rosalie, Alice, and I all sat there, each with a look of surprise. We hadn't even thought about that. Just as we began to thank her for what she did, my phone went off with a text message.

"Does this mean you'll buy us beer for tonight?"

I chuckled at Rosalie and opened up the message on my phone.

_**Any news? – E**_

I bit my lip and smiled. Edward had been just as excited about the possibility of me being able to stay over as I was and couldn't wait to hear the news. He had texted me four times since I had first asked Charlie an hour before.

_**We're all set! – B**_

I listened in with Alice as Rosalie and Charlotte argued back and forth about getting beer and couldn't help my laugh. They were exactly a like.

_**Everyone in the store is looking at me like I'm crazy because I just yelled YES really loud lol – E**_

I giggled at his text and showed it to Alice, who just rolled her eyes, shook her head, and mumbled something about him being an idiot. Before I could respond, another text came through.

_**I can't wait to fall asleep with you in my arms, baby – E**_

My grin went wider. Edward had started calling me baby a little while after we began dating, and every time he did, I melted.

_**Me too! It's been too long! – B**_

"You get us beer or I'll tell daddy about the tattoo you got last summer!" Rose challenged as she crossed her arms.

Both Alice and my jaws dropped.

Rosalie's father _hated_ tattoo's and believed they ruined the skin, so when Charlotte got one on spring break the year before, she hid it from him. My phone went off again but I ignored it and just stared between the two sisters.

"Fine!" Charlotte hissed through clenched teeth, causing Rosalie to smile in triumph.

"I have a few rules though!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and asked, "What rules?"

"No drinking and driving."

Rosalie huffed. "We're not that dumb, Char."

"You get caught, do _not_ mention my name"

"We would never!" Alice quickly assured her.

"And if any of you become pregnant as a result of this night, I'll kick _all_ of your asses"

The three of us chuckled but agreed. While Rosalie and Alice told her what we wanted, I read the message Edward sent me.

_**Way too long. I'm leaving the store now to go grab Em and Jasper from your house. I'll see you soon, baby! X – E**_

* * *

><p>The night had turned out to be the most fun any of us had had in a while. We played cards, listened to music, and played a few drinking games, all while laughing the entire time. With every drink I consumed, my shyness had started to melt away. I would kiss Edward openly every chance I got, which would cause Emmett to grumble. But Rosalie quickly helped me out by distracting him whenever Edward and I would show affection. By the end of the night, all of my inhibitions were gone and I didn't care who was around. I wasn't drunk, but had a really good buzz going on and felt amazing. Luckily, Emmett was either too wasted to care or decided to just ignore us.<p>

I had been the third out in the current game of 'Asshole' leaving only Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie still playing when I got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back, I sat down on Edward's lap instead of my own chair. He didn't complain, he just wrapped his right arm around my waist, and then gave me a quick kiss before turning back to the game, but I wanted more.

I wrapped my left arm around his shoulders while my right hand began to play with the chest hair peaking out from the top of his v-neck shirt as I kissed and nibbled on his ear.

"What are you doing?" Edward whispered.

"Nothing," I answered as my tongue traced his earlobe.

I heard him groan softly and felt his arm tighten around my waist. "You're killing me, love."

I giggled and continued to nibble on his ear. It wasn't long before I felt him harden beneath me.

_Score!_

Edward tried to move around so I wouldn't feel him but it was too late. I needed to act fast. I jumped up quickly, mumbled something about having to go to the bathroom again and ran upstairs to Edward's room.

I snatched off my clothes and quickly changed into my camisole and shorts that I was going to wear to bed, _without_ a bra, Rosalie told me. I ran over to the bathroom to brush my teeth and make sure my hair and face looked ok, before darting back over to his room, and closing the door behind me. I sat down on the edge of his bed and took a deep breath. I grabbed my phone and quickly typed out the message Alice, Rosalie, and I planned earlier on.

_**Can you come up here and help me real quick? – B**_

I put my cell down on his nightstand and leaned back on my hands on the bed with my legs crossed. It wasn't even a minute later that I heard him.

"Bella? You ok?" I heard him call out just before I heard the bathroom door open.

I rolled my eyes. He had probably thought I was getting sick.

"Baby you in here?" He asked as he opened his bedroom door and popped his head in. "What's the matter?"

I watched as he opened his bedroom door fully and took a step in, his face full of concern. But it changed into hunger a second later as his eyes racked over my body, causing my skin to heat up.

"I need help," I stated softly.

"What..." Edward coughed to clear his throat. "What do you need help with?"

I stood up and started to walk towards him. His eyes went wide before he stepped to the side and walked behind me towards the bed. I clenched my jaw in anger, before I let out a breath, then closed his bedroom door and locked it. I turned back towards him to see him staring at the door.

"I don't feel very well," I explained to him.

His look of panic was quickly replaced with worry and he ran over and stood right in front of me.

"Are you going to get sick? Do you want me to get you some water?"

I shock my head and put my hands on his chest.

"Don't want water," I whispered as I pushed against his chest, causing him to back up.

"You don't want water?"

I shook my head again and continued to push him back until the back of his knees hit the bed, causing him to sit down.

"What do you want?" he asked softly, his Adams apple bopping up and down.

"You," I answered with a smile.

I quickly moved myself to straddle his waist and kissed him. I ran my hands up into his hair and tugged on it, which caused Edward to moan into my mouth. I could feel tingles run through my body and my nipples harden. I wanted him to touch me, but his hands weren't moving from my hips. I tried to move my torso around so he would get the hint but they didn't budge. I eventually grabbed his hands in my own and brought them up to my chest, but before I could put them their, Edward moved his hands up higher and cupped my face. I moaned when he sucked my bottom lip in his mouth and squeezed his forearms. He broke apart so we could catch our breath, but before he could say anything, I started the kiss again. I moved my hands up to his wrists and pulled his hands from my face. I quickly covered them with my own and moved them to where I really wanted them to be. As soon as Edward's hands came in contact with my chest, he quickly pulled them away and put them back on my hips.

I stopped kissing him immediately and pulled back to look at him. He didn't say anything as we both stared at each other, panting. After a couple seconds, I got up from his lap and stood before him with my arms crossed.

"Are you ever going to touch me?"

Edward huffed and scratched the back of his neck. "Bella, you're brother is down stairs..."

"Save the excuses, Edward. Why won't you touch me?"

He opened his mouth a couple times but nothing came out.

That's when it had hit me.

"I mean," I started softly, uncrossing my arms from my chest and wrapping them around my stomach. "If you don't... _want_... to touch me... I understand."

Edward covered his hands with his own, groaned in frustration, and fell back onto the bed.

"Trust me," he said, his voice muffled by his hands. "Not wanting you is _not_ the problem here."

I let my arms down and walked in between his legs. "Then what is the problem?"

Edward removed his hands and from his face and looked up at me.

"No secrets, remember?" I reminded him.

At the beginning of our relationship, Edward and I had made a promise to each other that we would never keep secrets from one another, since secrets had been what had kept us apart for so long.

Edward let out another sigh and sat up. His arms immediately went around my legs and his finger tips rubbed the back of my thighs, causing my body to shiver.

"I just don't want to move too fast with you. I want to go at your pace and not a pace you think we should be going just because of my... past..."

I nodded my head and put my hands on his shoulders. That had made sense. But to be honest, I had never felt pressured into doing things with Edward or felt that I had to because he had. I genially wanted to do them with him because I wanted him. No other reason.

"I understand. But don't you think that asking would have been better than just assuming?"

Edward chuckled. "Maybe."

I leaned down and kissed him lightly.

"Besides," I began as I lightly scratched his back with my nails. "I'm not saying we have to do... _that_... right now. I'm just asking if we could do... other things."

Edward raised an eyebrow at me as I felt his hands make their way up the back of my thighs. "Other things?"

I closed my eyes and nodded. I couldn't really think straight while his fingers traced the edge of my shorts.

"Well, Ms. Swan," he mumbled in a deep, husky, voice, just before he brought his hands up to grip my ass hard, causing me to squeal out in surprise. "I think we can do something about that."

Edward pulled me back onto his lap and moved us both up onto the bed.

"You'll tell me if it's too much?" he asked in a whisper.

I nodded and began to kiss him again.

Our kisses had quickly turned frantic and I couldn't help the loud moan that escaped me as he continued to grip and squeeze my ass. I ran my hand down his chest and punched his shirt, desperately wanting to feel his skin on my own.

Edward sat up quickly, causing me to still back on my heels, and yanked his shirt off. His lips went back to mine and I ran my nails down his bare chest. He moaned in pleasure then gripped my ass and brought me closer so that my wet center was right on top of his erection.

I moaned out, loudly.

Edward's left hand came up and cupped the back of my neck. He pulled away from our kiss and looked in my eyes. "Is this ok?"

I nodded enthusiastically. Edward answered with a groan and moved in to kiss and suck on my neck. I grinded my hips down and rubbed my center against his bulge.

"Fuck," Edward panted out as he kissed down my throat. "You feel so fucking good."

His hands moved up my back and went to the straps on my tank top. I squeezed his shoulders when I felt the straps move.

"Is this ok?" he asked as he kissed the swell of my breasts.

"God, yes!" I cried out in pleasure.

Edward yanked the top of my tank top down and my breasts fell out.

"Fuck me, you're so fucking beautiful," he moaned.

Both of his hands came up to grope my breasts. His fingers tweaked my nipples causing me to cry out.

"Shit, Edward!"

Edward's lips found mine again and he stabbed his tongue into my mouth. I continued to grind myself against him and he lifted his hips to meet my thrusts. The only sounds that filled the room were our harsh pants, deep moans, and the sound of our clothes rubbing together. It all had felt completely erotic and I loved every second of it. A fire started to rise in the pit of my stomach and I started to move faster over his lap.

Edward's lips moved back down my throat and down my chest until he took my right nipple into his mouth. I arched my back in pleasure and gripped his hair tighter, pulling him closer to me.

"Oh god, Edward... I'm..."

Edward's hands went back down to my ass and he started to guide my movements.

"That's it, baby, come on, give it to me," he panted.

I moaned and moved my lips down his throat. When I bit down on his neck, Edward threw his head back and moaned so loud, I was sure people in the next town over could hear him.

"Oh, baby, you're gonna to make me cum," he moaned and I lost it.

My insides exploded with pleasure and my eyes saw nothing but stars. I was vaguely aware of Edward moaning underneath me and his body shaking, but my brain couldn't form thoughts. My body slumped forward onto Edward's, causing him to fall back onto the bed. Both of us laid there panting, not saying anything.

"Wow," I finally panted out.

Edward chuckled. "I completely agree."

I lifted my head and turned to look up at him. "Did you enjoy that?"

Edward smiled down at me, pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and said, "I really fucking enjoyed that."

My face broke out in a wide grin before I moved up to give him a quick kiss. I moved off of him and snuggled into his bed, laying my head on his chest over his heart. It was beating so fast and I couldn't help but smile because it was beating like that because of me. Edward wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer.

"Mm," he moaned and kissed the top of my head. "I'm so glad you get to stay here tonight."

I smiled and just snuggled closer to him. We both laid there in silence for a while, just basking in the afterglow. I had just been about to doze off when I felt Edward move underneath me.

"Where are you going?" My voice was thick with sleep.

"Just going to clean up, baby, I'll be right back," he whispered.

I nodded, got under the covers, and snuggled back into the pillow, breathing in his beautiful scent. I didn't know how long he was gone, because when I opened my eyes, the only light in the room had been coming from the moon outside.

"Love, sit up and take these for me?"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "What is it?"

"Just some pain killers so you won't have a headache tomorrow morning"

I swallowed the pills with the glass of water he handed me then fell back onto the pillow and curled onto my side. I smiled when I felt his arms wrap around my waist and his lips leave a light kiss under my ear.

"I'm so happy I don't have to take you home."

I giggled. "You mentioned that."

Edward pulled me closer to him and I heard him breathe in.

"You're birthday is in a couple weeks."

I let out a groan. "Don't remind me."

I hated my birthday, I hated anything that celebrated me, it was just... wrong.

"You never did tell me what you wanted," he whispered into my ear.

I brought my left hand up to intertwine with his left hand that was under my head and brushed my right hand over the skin on his right arm that was around my waist. He had already given me everything I had ever asked for, so I told him the only thing I could think of.

"Surprise me."


	18. Chapter 18

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! To whoever/all that nominated Decode over at The Lemonade Stand, I can't thank you enough. I am blown away and completely moved. You rock!**

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* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

The next forty-five days had been the best in my life and it all had been because of one girl...

Bella Swan.

I had never known it could be like how it was. I never knew I could feel so fucking happy, so whole, and just so... perfect, all at the same time.

I had always known Bella was an amazing girl, but I had been blind to just _how_ amazing she actually was.

She made me feel like I could do anything I wanted to do, be anything I wanted to be, like the world was at my fucking feet. If I didn't think I could do it, she proved I could. She was always pushing me to do more than I thought I could and always backed any thought I had.

Realizing my feelings for Bella had been the best thing that ever happened to me.

Our first date hadn't been exactly... ideal, and I hated it. Both of us had been nervous and we had let our nerves get the best of us.

I had stood outside of front door for a good fifteen minutes before I had gotten the courage to finally ring the doorbell. When Bella had opened the door, my jeans had immediately tightened.

Fuck... she looked _so fucking_ good.

I had never seen Bella in clothes like that before and the image would never leave my mind. I could see the curves of her body and her legs looked so long and so fucking smooth. I had felt like an idiot when I stumbled over my words but tried to keep my cool.

I had let out a nervous breath and ran my hand through my hair when Bella retreated into the kitchen. I tried to talk myself down to calm my nerves, but it seemed like nothing would work

I had been lost in my thoughts when Bella slipped. I quickly rushed over to her and to make sure she was ok. Even though I had been concerned for her, I had been a little grateful for her slip.

It had broken some of the ice between us.

She had made a comment about the shoes she had been wearing and I agreed with her.

"That aren't the ones you are use to wearing. I thought you hated shoes like that?"

I helped Bella up but she never answered my question. I watched as she kept her head down and I suddenly realized why she had been wearing those shoes. When I asked, she confirmed my suspicions.

"This is the stuff girls usually wear when you go after them... so I figured I should wear something you like." She mumbled as she looked down at her feet.

I told her to go change but cursed myself when I realized it had come out wrong and Bella thought I didn't like her outfit. I had to grab her back to me when she tried to walk away to explain.

"Bella, you look _amazing,_" I groaned out. "I love it and if you want to keep this on then I'm completely ok with that. But I want you to know that you don't have to wear things that make you uncomfortable just for me. I asked _you_ out. Not someone you think you should be, so I want you to wear whatever you want."

She asked for a couple minutes to change and I gave them to her. She had been gone for about ten minutes before she came back down in an outfit that was more... her. I loved it. She still looked amazing and I told her, which caused her to blush and giggle.

I had taken Bella to her favorite restaurant then to a movie afterwards. I had no idea what to do on a first date and dinner and a movie had seemed like a safe way too go.

I was wrong.

The date, like I said, had been less than ideal. The dinner was filled with awkward silences and an even more awkward conversation. I had been so nervous that I had forgotten that the person that had been sitting in front of me was my best friend.

But, by the time I had realized that, the meal had been over and we were on our way to the movies. I couldn't tell you what the movie we saw had been about because the entire time all I could think about was the girl that was sitting next to me. When the lights went out, the couple to left us began to make out and all I could think about was putting my lips on Bella's.

How would her mouth taste? How would her lips feel?

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Bella brought popcorn up to her mouth then licked her lips to get rid of the butter and I had to put my hands on my knees to keep from touching her. When her lips wrapped around the straw of her soda, my fists clenched. Then when she moved her hair behind her ear, which had caused me to catch a whiff of her perfume, I had to bolt to the bathroom.

My jeans had become way too tight and I couldn't take it any longer. I placed my hands on the counter and started to breathe in and out. I had never had a problem with random boners before, but ever since I had realized my feelings for Bella, I couldn't get them to go away.

After ten minutes, it had finally gone down and I was able to go back into the movie theater. But it came right back when Bella leaned over to ask if I was ok. I gave her a tight-lipped smile and turned back to the movie.

The entire ride home had been terrible. Bella had tried to talk to me about the movie but I couldn't answer her. I had no idea what she was talking about. When we had pulled up to her house, I had a mild panic attack.

I wanted to kiss her so fucking bad, but what if she didn't want to kiss me?

Did she want a kiss on the first date, or did she think a kiss needed to wait?

That had brought along thoughts of her first date with the dog, which filled me with rage.

When we had pulled up to her house, I quickly jumped out and opened the door for her. That wasn't anything that I had to second-guess, I always opened doors for girls. I may have been a 'man-whore', as my friends liked to put it, but my mother had raised me to be a gentleman, too. When she stepped out, I closed the door behind her, put my hands in my pockets and walked beside her to the door.

I had to, because the urge to touch her had been too overwhelming.

"Thank you for tonight, Edward. I had a really good time," she mumbled as she took her keys out of her pocket.

I had been almost positive she was lying. I had done a terrible job at the whole first date and was sure she would decide that she should keep with her original plan of moving on.

"I'm glad"

"Did _you_ have a good time?" she asked in a whisper.

I looked up to see Bella looking down at her keys and let out a sigh.

"I always have an amazing time with you, love" she looked up at me. "Hanging out with you is my favorite thing to do."

She bit her lip and looked up at me through her eyelashes. "So... we were just hanging out tonight?"

I cursed and ran my hand through my hair.

"No... This was my _attempt_ at taking you out on a date"

"Attempt?"

"Failed attempt," I mumbled.

"I don't think it was failed," she whispered. "I mean... we knew this was going to be tricky right?"

I let out a chuckle and nodded my head. We both stood there in silence for a couple more seconds before I motioned toward her front door.

"You should probably get inside, it's getting late."

The disappointment on Bella's face wasn't hard to see.

"Oh, ok," she mumbled and unlocked the door.

"I'll see you in school tomorrow?"

Bella nodded before she gave me a small smile then turned to go inside. I wanted to kiss her more than anything, but I couldn't help the fear that crept up in me.

What if she thought I was a bad kisser?

What if my breath smelled?

Did she even _want_ to kiss me?

I knew I wanted to kiss her that had to be enough, right?

"Bella!" I called out before I had even realized what I was doing.

Bella turned back around and her face had brightened with hope.

"Yeah?"

My heart had started to pound and my mouth had gone dry. I stared at her lips and opened my mouth to say something, but nothing had come out. My insecurities had been back in full force.

"Goodnight" I mumbled.

Bella said goodnight and went into her house. I walked back to my car with my shoulders sagged and my mood down. I had completely blown the whole night. I had wanted to prove to Bella that I was worthy of her, but all I did was prove that I was terrible at dates.

Alice's voice rang through my head.

_Just be yourself._

Our date had been anything but me being myself. I had told myself I would act normal, but the moment I had saw Bella, I had tried to be someone that I wasn't. I had been so worried about making up for my past mistakes and trying to show her I wasn't like that anymore, that I had forgotten she had fallen for me because of _me._ She had seen past all of my bullshit and wanted me.

I refused to let Bella remember whoever I had been trying to be earlier in the night and decided that I had to prove myself.

I made a quick u-turn and headed back to Bella's house. I parked my car in my usual two houses up spot and began to climb the tree I had known so well. When I entered the bedroom, Bella wasn't in there. I also noticed Carlie wasn't in the room; she must have been taking her out. I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair.

_Just be yourself, Cullen. Just be yourself._

I kept repeating that to myself over and over in my head until the door opened. I smiled when I saw her but quickly became worried when Bella had let out a yell.

"Jesus! You scared the shit out of me!"

I opened my mouth to apologize when I heard Emmett on the other side of the door. Bella's went wide as she stumbled forward as the door opened. I ducked beside the bed and sat down. I had no idea why I hid. Emmett knew I had come to visit his sister at night, but we had just gone out on a date. I knew I didn't want to walk in on Jasper sneaking into Alice's room, so I was positive Emmett didn't want to see me either.

I listened as Bella tried to get Emmett to leave when Carlie walked over and started to sniff me. I had been too busy making sure everything was ok to even acknowledge her though. When I heard the bedroom door close, I stood up.

I whispered an apology before we both stood there in silence.

Fuck.

I had told myself it wasn't going to be awkward anymore, but the sight of her made me such a nervous wreck, I was terrified to open my mouth. I had a brief break to think about what I was going to say when I had to lean down and say hi to the puppy. I couldn't hide behind a dog all night, so I put her back in her box before turning back to Bella.

I apologized again for scaring her, because I honestly didn't know what else to say. We exchanged small words as I started to rock back and forth on my heels. The air was thick with tension and I hated it.

With other girls, all I had to do was turn on my charm and I knew everything would be ok. But with Bella, I had no idea how it all would turn out. My confidence changed into fear and I was terrified I would say or do something that would make her run.

And if she ran, I didn't think I could survive it.

"Why is this so awkward, Edward?"

I let out a sigh of relief and immediately relaxed.

"I have no idea," I groaned.

"I mean, we _like_ each other... right?" she asked as she looked down at the ground.

A smile came to my face as I agreed with her. She was shocked when I told her next time we'd get it better and I had to hold back my shout for joy when she agreed to a second date. With that, all of my nervousness had gone out the window.

I took a step towards her and told her what had been on my mind since I had left.

I approached Bella slowly and when I touched her lips to mine, I knew there would be nothing else in the world that I would want to do more than kiss her constantly.

I couldn't stop. Kissing Bella was addicting and felt so fucking good.

Luck would have it, the teacher's strike had gone through and I had a whole week to spend with Bella. Any free moment I had, I was with her.

It all had been so... magical.

I knew spending time with Bella was great, but I had never known _how_ great it could be. And the kissing... fuck... the kissing was just... words couldn't describe it. They way her lips felt on my own, I had never known I could feel that way. I kissed her every chance I could.

I had never been so excited and frustrated in my entire life.

I had never been in a situation before where I had to hold back from what I truly wanted. More importantly, I had never been in a situation where I _wanted _to hold back from what I truly wanted.

Even though I hated to admit it, I knew Bella had _some_ experience fooling around, but she wasn't nearly has educated as me, and that terrified the living shit out of me. I didn't want her to try things because she thought I wanted to and I didn't want to force her into anything that she wasn't ready for.

But every time her lips touched my own or, fuck, her hand brushed against my skin, I was hard as a rock. My hand had become my dick's best friend. There wasn't a time that I had hung out with Bella that I didn't have to relieve myself after she left.

She really had no idea how incredibly sexy she was and every day I wondered why it had taken me so long to notice it, as well.

The way her hands gripped onto my hair as I kissed her, the way she would always nibble on my bottom lip with her teeth right before she pulled away, the way she rubbed my back when we sat next to each other, it all had driven me completely insane.

But I couldn't stop. I knew kissing Bella would make me explode one day but I didn't care. I was addicted.

She was like my own personal brand of heroin.

* * *

><p>We had gone back to school the next week but something had been off.<p>

Bella had been acting... strange.

I would pick her up each morning and she would greet me with a kiss and hold my hand throughout the entire car ride, but once we had gotten to school, nothing.

Every time I had tried to hold her hand, wrap my arms around her, or kiss her, she'd move away and give me some lame ass excuse as to why she couldn't.

The first couple days I had chalked it up to her just having the blues about going back to school, but after the third day, I had enough.

I had moved down to give her a kiss but she put her head down. I called her out on it and told her it had felt like forever since I had last kissed her.

And it really fucking had.

It didn't matter if it was hours, minutes, or seconds... it had all seemed like a fucking eternity for me.

But every time I had mentioned so incident, she had a reply, so I pressed my lips together and called her out on the issue.

"Fine. You never let me kiss you _at school._"

Bella just looked down at her feet and I let out a sigh. Maybe it was a bigger issue than I had thought of. I had put her through torture for years; maybe she didn't want people to know we were together.

I leaned against the locker and as I listened to her explain her reasons. They didn't make sense to me. I could have given two shits what anyone else thought, all I cared about was being with her.

But when she told me her real reason for not kissing me, I saw nothing but red.

"So… what you're telling me is that I can't kiss my own girlfriend at school because some girls who have a stupid fucking crush might get pissed?"

That shit would _not_ fly.

Fuck that.

Bella was _my_ girlfriend and I wanted to kiss her anywhere I damn well pleased.

_No one _would take that away from me. Not even Emmett.

I opened my mouth to explain that to her when her shocked eyes had met mine as she stuttered out the word girlfriend.

Fuck.

I had said the word, the _actual_ fucking word... girlfriend.

A month before, the word had sent chills down my spine. But ever since I had starting dating Bella, it was all I thought about.

Hell, I had started calling her my girlfriend in my head two days after we had started to date.

It just seemed like the natural thing to do.

"Well… yeah. That's what you are, aren't you?"

She gave me a playful smile and explained that guys usually asked girls before assuming.

Shit if I knew.

But if she wanted me to ask, I was going to give it to her. I knelt down on one knee and asked her to be mine. Her face had turned the reddest shade I had ever seen as she said yes.

I had never felt so happy in my entire life. Bella was officially mine. And I never had any problem kissing her in school again.

* * *

><p>I had been shocked to find out that I had been calling Bella, love, for months. I had no idea. But once I knew, I noticed I did it a lot.<p>

I called her that more than her own name.

The next month with Bella had been amazing. I did everything in my power to show her that I had changed, that I wanted her and wanted to be with her.

I had been completely upfront with her when any girls had tried to contact me, and always told them I was with Bella, I wasn't interested. The first couple weeks, it had been nonstop, but after a while, they had finally stopped.

Thank fuck for that.

Though she never said anything, I could tell it hurt her to know girls weren't taking me seriously. To them, Bella had been another conquest for me, and our relationship had been just a show until I had gotten what I wanted.

None of them knew me at all.

It had fucking scared the shit out of how easy it had been to make my decision that my old life wasn't the way to go, I had lived that way for so long, but after being with Bella, I knew I had finally arrived at where I belonged.

Our relationship wasn't perfect... whose really was?

There were times I had been an ass and had to apologize with my tail in between my legs, and times Bella snapped at me for no apparent reason, but we had learned to work through it.

In the beginning, whenever we had fought, Bella would always yell that if I didn't like what she had to say, I could leave, to cut my loses before it got any worse. At first, it had really pissed me the fuck off to hear her say those things, but I was more terrified she was trying to push me away.

I didn't realize the truth behind it until one day after football practice when I had talked to Emmett about it.

I had been a little afraid that because of my relationship with Bella, my friendship with Emmett might decrease. But I should have known better. With a hard ass slap on the back, and the threat of him breaking my face if I broke her heart, our friendship had stayed intact.

I had explained to Emmett about what Bella had been saying and was shocked to see he wasn't surprised.

"Really? You don't get why she keeps pushing you?" He asked me when I looked at him confused.

I rolled my eyes.

"If I knew, dick, you think I would be asking you?"

Emmett chuckled and shook his head as he put shit in his locker.

"Look at it from her point of view. She's been in love with you for years and now that you are finally together, she's scared you'll change your mind and leave. So she's pushing you away so she could be prepared for it."

What. The. Fuck.

Why hadn't I thought of that?

So the next time we had fought, and she had said those words, I grabbed her, kissed her with as much passion as I could muster and told her the truth. She hadn't tried to push me away again.

* * *

><p>"YES!" I screamed out loudly in the middle of the store, causing everyone to stop and stare at me.<p>

My cheeks burned with slight embarrassment, but I had been too excited to care.

I was _finally_ going to be able to fall asleep with Bella in my arms.

I had always slept better with Bella next time, and hadn't been able to do it since before we had gotten together.

Sure, in the beginning, I hadn't planned on changing my nightly visits to Bella's room and staying over occasionally, but that all had changed the day the chief walked into the kitchen and caught Bella and I kissing.

He had been calm, too calm, about catching us; I should have known it was because he had something up his sleeve.

Later on that day, Charlie had asked me for some help with putting things into the shed. The blood had drained from my face and I followed him outside feeling like a man walking on death row.

I moved what he wanted me to move and carried what he wanted me to carry, al the while, waiting for the bomb to drop, but it never did. I had finally started to relax when we finished up and he thanked me for my help.

"Thanks for your help, son. I would have asked Emmett but it's getting dark out."

"No problem, Charlie," I stated as he locked up his shed.

He put the key in his breast pocket, patted it, and gave me a smile.

"Can never be too careful, ya know? Thief's will try and take anything and sell it," he explained while we walked back to the house.

I wanted to snort. The thought of thief's in Forks had been hilarious. But he was the Chief of Police, so I wisely kept my mouth shut.

"I understand," I started. "You want to protect your belongings."

Charlie chuckled and threw his arm around my shoulder.

"Exactly, kid! That's why I keep a gun hidden in every room of my house"

Charlie gave me a smirk and winked.

I didn't realize I had stopped walking until Charlie was walking ahead of me.

I hadn't slept at Bella's house since.

But with the little plan the girls had come up with, Bella would be able to sleep at my house, far away from Charlie Swan and his guns.


	19. Chapter 19

****unBETA'd****

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* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I had _no idea_ what I had been missing out on. I had _no idea_ things could be _that_ good.

No wonder all the girls at our school had been obsessed with Edward. He had the ability to make you see stars and forget what your own _name_ was.

It wasn't like I hadn't experienced an orgasm before, I had. But that had been at my own hand.

Having an orgasm by someone else was just down right earth changing. I wanted it to happen again and again.

I had turned into a complete hussy.

Every chance we got, we were getting each other off.

There was the time he fingered me in his car outside of my house after we had gone out to dinner.

The time we had dry humped on his bed after he had helped me study for Bio quiz.

There was also the time I had given him a hand job in his bathroom one night when we were at his house with everyone downstairs in the living room waiting for us to watch a movie.

The whole idea that we could have been caught had been so exciting, I couldn't stop myself.

Then there was the one night he had snuck in my room.

We had started to make out and, like usual, things had started to get pretty hot and heavy. Edward had been on top of me with his shirt off and his pants unbuttoned while I lay beneath him with my pants off and my shirt pulled down to reveal my breasts.

He had gone down on me that night. Luckily, Charlie had still been at work and Emmett was a heaving sleeper because I couldn't control the sounds that had come out of my mouth.

He lifted his head to tell me I had to be quiet but all I did was beg him not to stop. When he slammed his hand over my mouth when I had become too loud, my eyes snapped open and I exploded.

Screw not knowing my name, I couldn't even remember what _state_ I was in.

My fuzzy mind registered that Edward had probably been hard as nails after that so I tried to lift my hands to his pants, but they had felt like they weighed a hundred pounds. I eventually was able to lift them, but Edward stopped me.

It wasn't the first time he had done that.

I learned Edward was a _giver_... or at least he liked to give to me... _a lot._

He never grabbed my hand and put it on him, he moved at a pace I was comfortable with and explained to me that watching me come undone had been pleasure enough.

Usually, I would argue with him, but I couldn't even do that that night because after I came down, my body had gone completely limp and I felt like I could sleep for days.

I vaguely remember Edward tucking me under the covers, giving me a kiss on the forehead and whispering goodnight before I passed out.

We just couldn't get enough of each other.

And I loved every second of it.

I knew I wanted to loose my virginity to Edward and by the way we had been going I knew sex wasn't far behind. But he had still seemed to be hesitating.

He never took off his pants and the only time my panties came off was when he went down on me.

He had to have been going crazy.

He had gone from having sex anytime he wanted to only getting off by hand jobs.

I had to do more.

* * *

><p>"You haven't blown him yet?" Rosalie asked in surprised.<p>

My eyes went wide and cheeks flared as I looked around the diner.

Rose, Alice, and I had decided we needed to get out for some 'girl' time since it had been a while with just us.

Sure, we still saw each other everyday at school, and hung out every weekend, but we were always with our boyfriends.

And even though I was _far_ from being a 'girly' girl, I did agree that some time with just your girlfriends was important.

"Jesus, Rose! Could you keep it down?" I whispered.

Alice giggled as she took a sip of her milkshake.

Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"No one is paying attention to us. Now, back to the question at hand, you haven't blown him yet?"

I pushed away a stray piece of hair behind my ear and pushed my salad around my plate.

"No," I mumbled.

"Why not?" Rosalie asked, completely confused.

I opened my mouth to answer when Alice cut me off, "Do you not like doing it?"

"It's not that," I huffed.

"Then what? Is it the gagging?" Rosalie asked as she popped an olive from my salad into her mouth.

I let out a dry chuckle and shook my head. She really had no care if anyone heard her at all.

"I've never done… that before" I whispered.

I looked up to see both Rosalie and Alice staring at me with their mouths open and their eyes wide.

"I thought you gave Jacob a blow job?" Rosalie asked.

I shook my head. "No. We never got to that."

"So he just jizzed on your hand a couple times and that's it?"

Alice had actually spit some on her milkshake out of her mouth as she laughed and I couldn't help but join her. I put my hand up to shield my eyes from the other people in the diner.

"Yes, Rose," I chuckled. "That's it."

"Well, you can't punish Edward because Jacob was a two pump chump. Get on with it. He deserves it after the way you explained how good he is at going down on you"

I flinched and looked over at Alice. Even though we had discussed the whole situation of her and I talking about things I did with her brother, I had still been a little hesitant.

But she didn't seem to care as she sat there sipping from her straw.

"I want to… I really do. It's just…" I trailed off just as the waitress came over to take our empty plates.

"Are you worried about the taste? Because you can spit you don't have to swallow"

My eyes bugged out of my head as I heard the waitress try and cover her laugh with a cough.

"Christ Rose!" Alice claimed as the waitress walked away. "People can hear you!"

Rose rolled her eyes again and waved her hand.

"Oh whatever, I'm sure she's heard way worse."

I scratched my forehead. "It's not the taste I'm worried about."

"What then?" Alice asked with a shrug of her shoulders.

I let out a huff and pushed my plate away. I looked down at my hands and picked at my fingers.

I finally let out a sigh and whispered, "What if I don't do it right?"

"What?" Both Alice and Rosalie said at the same time.

I rolled my eyes and looked up at them. "I've never given head before. And Edward has gotten head from too many girls too count. What if I suck?"

I watched as Rosalie opened her mouth and cut her off, "No pun intended, pervert."

Alice snickered as Rosalie smirked.

"Bella, I'm sure you'll be fine. It's pretty simple to do," Alice explained.

"That's just it. I don't want to be fine! I want to be…." I trailed off when I couldn't think of the words.

"You want to be so amazing that he forgets every girl who has done it before you," Rosalie explained with a wave of her hand.

I let out a chuckle and agreed.

"Well, there's one easy way to do that," she explained as she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder.

I looked at both of them confused before they looked at each other then back at me and said at the same time, "Blow job lessons."

I choked on my water. "What lessons?"

"How do you think I learned? Rose taught me."

"And my sister taught me," Rose answered with a shrug of her shoulders. "It's just how it works. We'll go to my house and by the time we're done; Edward Cullen will be your own personal slave."

I agreed before I could change my mind.

We each had grabbed our wallets to pay for our meal and I almost died when Rosalie had yelled out to the waitress, "Hey can we get our check, we have a blow job class we have to get to!"

* * *

><p>I paced back and forth in my living room, ringing my hands together. My nerves had been high ever since Edward had texted to tell me he was on his way over.<p>

After my "lesson" with Rosalie and Alice earlier, we had decided I would give Edward a blowjob that night.

We had planned to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie, so it wouldn't be hard to start fooling around. Plus, we hadn't seen each other since the night before. I had to get to school early that morning to go over something with my English teacher, while the football team didn't have class due to an all day practice for their game that weekend. We had only been able to get in a couple texts but that was it.

I had been surprised at how much I missed him.

Sure, I missed him before we were together when we didn't talk or see each other, but it was different now that we were actually together, it was almost like everything just seemed duller.

I heard a car door slam shut and I ran to my front door. Just as I opened the door, Edward had run up and was standing there, looking beautiful as ever, as he panted.

I opened my mouth to say something but stopped when he cut me off.

"Fuck," he breathed out. "I missed you."

In the next second, I was in his arms and his lips were on mine. I didn't know how the front door had gotten shut, but the next thing I knew, I was pushed up against it. Edward broke away from my lips and made his way down my throat.

"Mmm, I missed you so much, baby," he groaned as he nipped at my neck.

"I missed you, too" I panted.

His lips were back on mine as I tugged at his hair. He groaned and squeezed my hips tighter. After a couple seconds, his hands had moved up and started to finger the buttons on my plaid shirt.

"Is anyone home?" He asked in between kisses.

I shook my head, too turned on to talk. He groaned again and immediately began to unbutton my shirt. When he had gotten it fully open, both of his hands went up and groped my breasts.

I let out a deep moan and pushed his coat off. The jacket fell to the floor with a thump and I immediately began to bunch up his t-shirt. Seconds later, it was off and I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist.

I wasn't aware that we were moving until Edward had laid me down onto the couch. He trailed kisses down my neck until he was kissing the swell of my breasts. He then moved down and moved the tank top up that I had on under my plaid shirt and began to nibble on my hipbones. When I felt him start to unbutton my pants, I quickly sat up and removed my plaid shirt.

"Are you wet for me, baby?" he asked as his tongue traced the top of my panties.

Did I mention Edward liked to dirty talk?

He open mouthed kissed my thighs as he pulled my jeans down my legs until they were fully off. I grabbed his face and brought him back to me in a hungry kiss. I could feel his bulge rub against my damp panties and couldn't help but moan.

"You are so fucking sexy," he whispered before he shoved his tongue back in my mouth.

When I heard his sneakers fall to the floor, I quickly pushed down his sweat pants.

"Bella…" Edward started as he pulled away but I cut him off.

"Shh," I whispered as I pushed him up and straddled his waist.

I grinded my hips into his own, causing both of us to moan in pleasure. Edward's hands gripped my ass and jerked my hips over him harder.

I had never been so turned on in my life.

I wanted Edward. I wanted him right then. Screw the blowjob; I wanted to have sex with Edward right there.

I moved my hands down to the sides of his boxers and started to pull.

"Bella," Edward said as his hands gripped my wrists.

"Shh," I said again as I tried to pull my wrists away but he wouldn't let go.

"Not tonight," he whispered.

I kissed him again and said, "I'm ready, Edward. I want you."

He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut.

"If you take my boxers off, I'm not going to be able to control myself."

I let out a chuckle and nibbled on his ear. "I don't want you to control yourself."

His breath was harsh and his grip on my wrists tightened.

"Shit, love, don't say stuff like that to me."

I pulled back and looked him in the eye.

"Edward, I'm ready. I love you and I want you to be my first," I explained to him.

He closed his eyes as a small smile came to his face. He had always done that when I had told him I loved him. He hadn't said it back yet, but I wasn't worried. It didn't matter. I knew he was mine, completely.

"Your first time shouldn't be on a couch in the heat of the moment, love. It should be in a bed and special"

I stood up and tugged on his hand. "Then let's go upstairs to my room."

He looked up at me as he Adam's apple bopped. He was silent for a couple seconds before he finally spoke.

"I'm not ready," he whispered.

My eyebrows went up in shock.

"What?" I asked with a chuckle.

He let out a huff and ran his hands through his hair.

"You may be ready but I'm not"

I shook my head. "Edward, you're not a virgin."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Just because I'm not a virgin doesn't mean I can't be nervous."

I sat down next to him, facing him, and crossed my legs.

"You're nervous?" He looked over at me for a second then nodded. "How come?"

He grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with my own.

"Because with you it means _more_… and I just want it to be perfect for you" he whispered. "I don't want it to be in the heat of the moment because our hormones got the best of us. I want it to happen because it feels right and it's the right time"

I felt tears sting my eyes. I couldn't help the small sense of rejection I had felt, but refused to let him see it. So I kept my face blank and nodded like I understood.

"Are you mad?" he asked softly.

I looked up at him, smiled, and shook my head.

"No, I'm not mad. I understand," I lied. He gave me a smile and I said, "We can wait."

He brought my hand up to his face and kissed my knuckles.

"Thank you, love."

We had sat there in silence for a couple minutes before I giggled; causing him to ask me what had been so funny.

"You make me feel like I'm some evil villain trying to steal your virtue or something"

Edward threw back his head and laughed.

"Don't paint me as such an innocent, baby," he chuckled with a shake of his head.

I quirked my eyebrow up at him while he leaned in with a smirk on his face and whispered against my lips, "My dick is still hard and I'd love nothing more than to feel your hot little hands on it."

I gasped as his tongue came out and licked my lips. I had never heard anything that sexy in my entire life. A new wave of excitement ran through me and I kissed him back.

"You want me to take care of that for you?" I whispered.

I had been shy at first about the dirty talking and still had some problem with it, but I couldn't deny that Edward's reactions to my words made it all worth it.

He groaned and sucked on my bottom lip. I leaned forward and slid my hand into the opening of his boxers. When I gripped his length, Edward moaned in pleasure and grabbed my head, pulling me even harder into the kiss.

"Fuck, baby, your hands feel so good," he moaned as he kissed and sucked on my neck while his hands groped my chest.

"Sit back, baby," I whispered.

I quickly straddled him again and sucked on his neck as I continued to pump his dick up and down. His hands gripped my ass then began to move to the front of my panties. I knew what he wanted to do and had to make my move. I kissed my way down his neck to his chest then licked and sucked his nipple into my mouth.

"Shit!" He hissed, his hands stopping to grip my thighs.

I began to move down again and lightly slipped off his lap. When I kissed his happy trail, he sat up fully and said my name.

I looked up at him with a smile. "Sit back"

"Wha… what are you doing?"

I kissed his thigh over his boxers and looked up at him through my eyelashes.

"Taking care of you," I whispered in a seductive voice.

I had no idea where that side of me had come from, but I loved it. I knew it had to be Edward. He made me feel sexy and confident.

He started to shake his head. "Bella… love… you don't have…"

"Shhh," I started as I reached up and pushed on his chest, causing him to sit back.

Edward slumped back against the couch and kept his eyes glued to me. I turned my attention back to my task and began to lick the top of his boxers just like he had done to me.

I could hear his panting and saw out of the corner of my eye his fists clenching next to him on the couch. I grabbed his dick in my hand and gave it two slow pumps, causing Edward to moan.

Then I stuck my tongue out and licked his tip.

"Shit!" he hissed again.

I swirled my tongue around the tip, teasing him just like Rose had taught me.

"Oh god…" he breathed out, his fingers digging into the couch.

After a little teasing, I finally took him into my mouth fully.

"Holy fuck!" Edward yelled out.

I held onto the base of his dick and bobbed my head up and down while I sucked lightly. I made sure I took a breath when I reached the top and breathed out of my nose when I went down.

"Shit… Bella…. Feels… so..." he panted right before he moaned.

Once I had fully coated him in my saliva, I started to have my hand follow my mouth with a tight grip.

Edward groaned loudly and put his hands on my head.

The girls had told me that most guys liked to guide a girl to how they liked it, but Edward didn't do that. He had simply massaged my scalp as his fingers tangled in my hair.

I had been surprised to find how turned on I had been while giving head to Edward and had to rub my thighs together to try and create a friction for the ache in between my thighs.

"Fuck, baby. Just like that… yes… take it all" he moaned.

I continued to bob my head up and down before I tried to take him in my mouth fully. Alice and Rosalie had warned me that I might gag and if I had, to not panic and just move up to take a breath.

But I had no problem.

When I removed my hand, I moved my mouth all the way down until his entire dick was in my mouth and I felt his pubic hair tickle my nose.

"FUCK!"

Edward's hand tightened in my hair right before my mouth filled with his fluids. I had to quickly swallow it down so I wouldn't spit it all over him.

The taste wasn't _amazing_ like Rose had described, but it wasn't _gross_ like Alice had described, either.

It was salty and had a little tang but wasn't that bad.

Once I felt his hands leave me hair and his body slump down onto the couch, I withdrew my mouth and sat back on my heels to look up at him.

The look I saw surprised me.

His cheeks were tinted red, his chest rose up and down as he panted, and his eyes were glaring at me.

I immediately began to worry I had done something wrong.

"Don't you have a gag reflex?" he asked in between breaths.

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion before I shrugged my shoulders.

"I guess not," I replied as I felt my cheeks burn.

All of a sudden, Alice and Rosalie's shocked expressions while I slid the Popsicle down my throat with perfect ease had made sense.

"Fuck," he groaned as closed his eyes and threw his head back.

I sat there for a couple seconds before I began to tug at my hair. Edward hadn't said anything; he just sat there with his head back and panted. I had started to get nervous and looked down at my lap when I felt his hand on my wrist. He tugged me up onto his lap and buried his nose in my neck.

"That was… so_ fucking good_, baby. Thank you"

His left hand came up to cup my face right before his lips were on mine. All of my worries had flown out the window the second his tongue touched my own. I could feel his heart beating through his chest and I couldn't help but feel extremely proud because I was the reason it had been beating like that.

"I'm glad you liked it," I whispered when our lips broke apart.

I closed my eyes and let out a gasp when Edward started to nibble on my neck.

"Mmm, I more than liked it," he mumbled. "I loved it"

"So I did ok?"

I bit my lip and waited for his answer.

Edward pulled back and looked me straight in the eye.

"You did amazing. Best I ever had."

I searched his eyes for a sign that he had been lying, but couldn't find any.

"The best?" I asked softly while I wrapped my arms around his neck.

Edward chuckled, gave me a light kiss and said, "The absolute best. Feel free to do that any time you want"

I opened my mouth to tell him I had no problem with that when his eyes went wide and he spoke again.

"I don't mean you _have_ to do it, only if you want. Don't think that I'm telling you it has to be all the time because it doesn't! You don't ever have to do it again if you don't want I was just jo…"

I giggled and covered his lips with my finger to make him stop talking.

"I know, baby. And trust me, I don't feel that way"

Edward let out a sigh of relief and I gave him a quick kiss.

"And you can you bet I'll definitely being doing that again. I rather enjoyed that"

I squirmed in his lap because the ache in between my legs had become almost unbearable.

Edward's eyebrow had gone up in question before his signature smirk slowly formed on his face.

"Is that a fact?" he asked in a deep, husky, tone.

My breathing had begun to pick up while I nodded my head. I let out a soft whimper as his left hand trailed down my arm, leaving a burning fire in its trail.

I gripped his shoulders as his fingers traced the hemline of my panties between my thighs. He was so close I had been afraid if he didn't touch me soon, I would explode with frustration.

Edward licked my lips before he whispered, "Did sucking my dick make you wet, baby?"

I groaned loudly right before I yanked his face to mine and pushed my tongue in his mouth. When he finally slid my panties aside and rubbed my slick opening, I threw my head back and let out a loud moan.

"Fuck!" He breathed. "You're so wet!"

Before I even knew what was going on, I was suddenly sitting on my couch with my feet propped on the coffee table, legs spread, panties off, with Edward kneeling on the floor in between my legs, and his tongue poking inside of me.

Needless to say, we never did get to watch the movie that night.

* * *

><p>"We were close… I mean… <em>close<em>. Alice, I was ready. I wanted him right there on my living room couch" I whispered as we walked towards Jaspers car the next morning.

My truck had died on my for the fifty time that year and was currently down at Jacob's work so he could see if it was salvageable or not, so I had to settle for getting rides to school that whole week.

Normally, I would have just drove with Emmett or Edward would have picked me up, but due to some football players being caught drunk the night before by my father, the head coach had called an emergency mandatory meeting at eight a.m., so Jasper had offered to come pick me up.

"What stopped you?" She asked as we walked to the car.

When I had called Alice in the morning to ask her for a ride to school, she immediately asked me how everything had gone. Too excited to wait until I saw her, we had talked on the phone the entire time we had gotten ready until she was walking through my front door.

I shrugged my shoulders, opened the back seat of Jasper's car and got in. I gave him a quick smile and a wave before looking out the window. Alice got into the front seat and turned around towards me.

"Did you change your mind?"

My eyes bugged out and flashed towards Jasper before I looked back at Alice.

She rolled her eyes. "He heard our entire conversation on the way over here, Bella. He doesn't care, right, hunnie?"

Jasper chuckled. "If she doesn't want to talk in front of me, she doesn't have to, Alice."

"Jasper, it's not like that!" I protested.

His eyes connected with mine through the rearview mirror and he gave me a smile.

"I know, darling. Don't worry about it."

He gave me a wink and I immediately felt better.

"You act like you don't have conversations with me or Rose in front of Edward"

I rolled my eyes. "There's a difference. I don't ask you about your sex life in front of Edward."

Alice waved her hand dismissively. "Tell me why you stopped."

I let out a sigh. I knew she wouldn't leave me alone until I finally spoke, and I knew Jasper wasn't the type of person to open his mouth or pass judgment so I just gave in.

"He stopped us. He said he didn't want my first time to be on a couch in the heat of the moment."

"Ok, you guys could have just gone up to your room."

I shook my head. "I said that. I told him I was ready and that I wanted to and we could go upstairs but then he said that he wasn't ready"

Alice's face had the same look of confusion that mine had had.

"What? That doesn't make sense."

Jasper chuckled and shook his head causing Alice to look over at him.

"What? You think that makes sense?"

"I think it makes perfect sense," he replied as he made a left turn.

I sat up in my seat. "You do?"

"What about that makes sense? My brother is not a virgin."

Jasper chuckled again.

"No, he isn't. But he is in a serious relationship for the first time in his life. Hell, the first _relationship_ in his life, and he doesn't know how to act."

Both Alice and I had stayed silent. Jasper rolled his eyes and continued.

"Edward has had nothing but one night stands with random chicks over the years, which in turn, has made sex not very important. To him, the choice to have sex or not was the same as the choice to wear a jacket or a hoody. It didn't matter. Now it does."

I sat back in my seat as a small smile came to my face.

"It means more," I whispered.

Jasper's eyes had met mine in the mirror again.

"Exactly," he responded with a smile.

"That's what he said. I just wasn't sure if it was the entire truth or not."

Jasper pulled into the school parking lot, parked his car and turned back towards me.

"Trust me, Bells. It's the entire truth. He's nervous. Sex is a big step and he knows that you're a virgin and he wants you to know that it does mean more to him now, because it'll be with you."

My internal happiness was interrupted by a loud shrieking noise that had come from the front seat. Both Jasper and I looked to find Alice bouncing up and down in her seat with her hands clapping.

"He's so in love with you! It's all so romantic!"

I rolled my eyes as Jasper chuckled. I didn't tell her he had never said he was in love with me; I didn't feel like arguing back and forth with her about it.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Jasper started again. "It's normal. I was nervous before Alice and I made love the first time and neither one of us were virgins."

"You were?" Alice asked, shocked as we all stepped out of the car.

Jasper came around, put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. "Of course, sweetie. I loved you and wanted it to be special and was scared I'd mess something up."

I smiled at my friends then looked away to give them some privacy while they kissed and spoke words of love to each other.

"Bella Swan you little slut!"

I snapped my head up to see Rosalie making her way over to us in her cheerleading outfit. My cheeks had burned when I realized she screamed that so loud; everyone in the school parking lot had heard her.

"Nice, Rose. I'm sure everyone didn't hear that" Alice stated.

"Whatever," she waved off and turned her attention back to me. "I want ALL of the details about last night and don't leave ANYTHING out!"

"Who says anything happened?" I asked as I pulled the strap to my bag over my shoulder.

I had sounded so nonchalant about the situation I had almost fooled myself.

"Don't you lie to me! I know something happened!" She exclaimed as we walked towards the school.

I giggled and shook my head. "Oh, yeah? And how do you know something happened?"

"Because…. you little skank, I was in the football teams meeting today since dumbasses Irina and Victoria were with the guys last night, so the cheerleaders had to be there too."

We stopped at Alice's locker and I looked at Rosalie and shrugged my shoulders.

"Ok, that doesn't explain anything."

We all waved bye to Jasper when he stated he needed to go talk to his teacher before we started to head towards my locker.

Rosalie's smile grew. "It does because I saw your boyfriend stroll in this morning with a shit eating grin on his face annnndddd…"

I blushed and bit my lip as I opened my locker. I had known exactly what kind of grin she had been talking about because it was the same grin that had been on my face the entire morning.

Most people had said that adding sex or sexual situations to any relationship complicated things, but with Edward and I, it had actually made things stronger. We had let go of our fears and trusted each other more, with the added bonus of orgasms.

"I saw the dark hickey he is now sporting."

I stopped unloading my books and my heart stopped.

I had given Edward a hickey?

Edward _hated_ hickeys.

I looked over at Alice whose face masked my own.

"I'm sure everything is ok," she whispered to me, but I could see the doubt in her eyes.

Rosalie looked back and forth between Alice and me, confused.

"What's the big deal?"

I could feel tears start to sting my eyes and had to turn back towards my locker. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths as Alice explained to Rosalie the situation.

Whenever a girl had given him a hickey in the past, Edward freaked. He hated hickeys. He looked at them as a sign of ownership and no one owned him.

I really didn't mean to give him a hickey, and honestly had no idea I had. He was going to be so angry.

"That's ridiculous," Rosalie exclaimed. "She's his girlfriend."

"I know, Rose. But you know how he use to act before…"

"Yes... _before_," Rosalie stated, cutting Alice off. "This is now. He didn't look pissed to me."

I refused to turn back around. I just stood there and tried to not cry.

Alice tried to explain further to Rosalie but she just cut her off again.

"Whatever, Alice. It's not that big of a deal. There is he, she can just ask him herself."

My head snapped up to see Edward practically jogging towards me. I tried to figure out his mood by his face, but too many people were in the way for me to see.

"Bella!" He called out and I flinched.

Rosalie and Alice mumbled their goodbyes and walked away. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath before I turned to face my boyfriend.

"Hey," I whispered, trying to act casual.

But as soon as my eyes had gone to his neck, I lost it. I let out a sob and turned back towards my locker.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Edward asked me, his voice filled with concerned as he took a step closer and put his hand on my back.

I shook my head and wiped at my tears but it had been useless, they were pouring out of me.

"Why are you crying?"

I shook my head again and finished pulling the books out of my locker.

"Bella," he stated right before he put his hands on my shoulders and turned me towards him.

"Talk to me," he pleaded.

I refused to look him in the eye. I didn't want to see the anger in them after the night we had just shared.

"I'm… fine," I said in between sniffles.

Edward huffed.

He then grabbed my arm, closed my locker, and pulled me into the janitors closet near by. The same janitor's closet we had fooled around in just the week before.

My sobs had started to come harder.

"Love, please, you're scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong," he pleaded.

His voice was laced with so much concern.

"I'm sorry!" I cried out.

"Hey, shh," he pulled me into his arms. "Don't be sorry. Just tell me what's the matter."

I chocked out another apology and squeezed him tighter. I wanted to remember the feel of being in his arms because I knew I wouldn't feel it again until he was done being mad at me.

Edward pulled back, brushed my hair away from my face, and wiped away my tears.

"Why are you apologizing? There's nothing to be sorry for, love. Will you look at me?"

I shook my head and kept my eyes to the ground.

He finally put his fingers under my chin and forced my face to look up at him. When my eyes connected with his, I didn't see the anger that I had expected to see, all I had saw was fear and concern.

"Tell me what's wrong. I'm going crazy here"

"I… you… neck… didn't… hate… sorry!" I chocked out in between sobs.

Edward kissed my forehead and whispered, "Baby, you have to take a deep breath and try to calm down. I couldn't understand you."

He continued to wipe away my tears while I took deep breaths to try and control myself. After a couple minutes, my sobs had lessoned and my breathing had returned to normal.

"Now, what were you saying?"

"Edward, I'm so sorry about the hickey! I didn't mean to give you one! I didn't even realize I had! I know you hate them and you think they mean a sign of ownership and I wasn't trying to mark you, I just…"

I stopped my ramblings when Edward had started laughing. I stared at him in shock.

"I'm sorry!" he cried out in between laughs. "I don't mean to laugh at you."

He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, but quickly lost composure again and began to laugh hysterically.

My tears had stopped and my sadness had quickly been replaced with rage.

With my face hard, I snapped, "I'm glad me crying is so fucking amusing to you, Cullen."

Edward quickly sobered up and looked at me with a straight face.

"What? No. That's not... I'm not laughing at that."

"That's what it seems like to me," I snapped before making a move for the door.

He grabbed my arm and forced me to turn back to him.

"I can't stand to see you cry, you know that!" He exclaimed.

I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow at him.

"Then do you mind telling me what's so fucking funny, because I don't see it."

Edward huffed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I was laughing about the hickey, Bella."

I glared at him with my jaw locked. He cursed under his breath, took a step towards me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I had started to melt, but refused to let him see.

"I'm sorry I laughed," he whispered before giving me a quick kiss on the lips. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings"

I pressed my lips together and felt the last strands of anger wash away from me. I uncrossed my arms, but refused to put them around him.

"Were you really crying over you giving me a hickey?"

"Yes. I know you hate them and I knew you were going to be pissed. We had such a great night and I'm pissed at myself for doing something so stupid."

"I'm not"

My head snapped up towards him to see him smiling down at me.

"I think it's hot"

"Who are you and what have you done with Edward?" I asked, skeptically.

Edward chuckled and kissed my forehead.

"You hate hickeys. You always have"

Edward nodded his head. "I use to hate hickeys."

"You're going to have to take me around this bend one more time, because I'm confused."

"Bella, why did I use to freak out about hickeys?"

"Because you said they were a sign of ownership and no one owned you," I explained.

"Mhm. But that's not true anymore" I looked at him, still confused, which caused him to continue. "You own me."

I immediately began to shake my head. "No I do…"

"Yes…" he started, cutting me off. "You do."

I looked back and forth between his eyes in complete and utter shock.

"How would you feel if I gave you a hickey?" he asked me, trying another course of explanation.

"You have given me hickeys."

Edward rolled his eyes. "In places people can actually see."

I blushed. All the hickeys Edward had ever given me had been either on my breasts or in between my thighs.

He looked at me for an answer and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I wouldn't care"

"Why not?"

My brows had gone together in confusion. "Because I'm not just some random girl you hooked up with, I'm your girlfriend."

"Exactly" he stated.

He wrapped his arms around me tighter and continued. "I'm yours fully and completely, and I'm not ashamed to show it. So you can mark me anytime you want"

I gasped and looked up into his eyes.

"You're not mad."

He chuckled and shook his head.

"No. I told you, I think it's hot"

I giggled and Edward smiled. I gave him a soft kiss and relaxed in his arms.

"I'm sorry I cried. I just was so scared you would be mad at me," I mumbled.

Edward tensed. "Don't do that to me again, ok? You have no idea how scared I was. I was ready to run out and beat the living shit out of any person that I saw just incase they were the reason you were crying like that."

I giggled. "I'm sure that would have made an impression."

I laid my head against Edward's chest and let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't mad at me. He had actually liked the fact that I had given him a hickey.

I owned him.

I lifted my head up and gave him a soft kiss. He hummed in pleasure then leaned his forehead against my own.

"I love you, Edward."

The bell signaling class rang outside causing me to jump.

"We don't want to be late for class," I stated and gave him one final kiss. "Let's go."

I opened the door and walked out into the hallway, holding my boyfriend's hand, who had worn the hickey on his neck with pride.

* * *

><p>I fingered the charm on my brand new bracelet. I really did love it. It was perfect.<p>

So far, my birthday had been amazing.

Waking up to flower petals all over my bed and the bracelet had put a permit smile on my face. I hadn't even mind when Alice screamed Happy Birthday to me when we pulled up into the school parking lot or when Emmett had the entire birthday sing happy birthday to me at lunch.

I looked at the clock and let out a sigh. I had a half an hour to kill before my mom would come get me to go out on our yearly shopping trip. I hadn't heard from her that morning like I usually had on my birthdays, but we had gone out every year, so I didn't worry about it.

I had left school early with a note from Charlie so I could spend enough time with my mother and still make it in time for the dinner Edward had planned for me.

I smiled.

Edward had always done something special for me for my birthday and they had always been amazing, but I could already tell that this birthday was going to be perfect.

And I couldn't wait to spend it with him.


	20. Chapter 20

****unBETA'd****

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* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

My name is Edward Cullen and I'm a complete and utter fucking idiot.

Funny how I had always been saying that about myself?

If I had thought lying to myself for years about my true feelings for Bella had been stupid, denying myself Bella's touch had been fucking _insane_.

I had been so scared that she would feel pressured into doing something she didn't want to do that I didn't trust her judgment.

She knew what she wanted and knew exactly what she was doing.

Thank fuck for that, because fooling around with Bella was one of my favorite things to do.

The little noises that she would make when something felt good, the way her back would arch in pleasure, and the look on her face when she would come undone, was completely earth shattering and the sexiest fucking thing I had ever seen.

I wasn't lying when I had told her watching her get off was just as good as her helping me get off, which was also fucking amazing.

I had been completely and utterly embarrassed when I exploded in my pants with Bella that night. That shit had _never_ happened to me before.

Honest to God.

But she hadn't even noticed. She had just collapsed on top of me and laid in my arms. When I eventually told her the truth, she blushed before she snickered something along the lines of, "Take that skanks."

After that night, not touching each other wasn't the problem anymore.

Touching each other was and it really wasn't a problem to me. I couldn't go five minutes without touching her, but I never initiated anything.

I always made sure Bella was comfortable with what we were doing and wanted to before we did anything else.

That last about two weeks.

After that, I couldn't tell you who started it.

Things had really started to heat up.

The night that I had first tasted Bella… fuck… I had never tasted anything so fucking sweet in my entire life.

If I could go down on Bella for the rest of my life, I would every fucking day, gladly.

The things Bella could do with her hands were amazing. I was constantly making a fool of myself by exploding too quickly, but Bella never said anything.

She was amazing like that.

* * *

><p>I walked up to my locker and noticed something taped against it. I smiled when I saw the rose and card.<p>

Bella had told me that if I insisted on celebrating her birthday that Friday, I would be forced to deal with unexplained gifts as well.

I took the rose off of my locker, along with the card before I opened the door. I unloaded my books and quickly ripped open the card.

On the front it said 'I Miss You' with some kind of fancy design. I had found that odd but opened it anyway. On the left side of the card was a note.

_Incase my other gifts were too subtle, I miss you, sexy! Sorry for my lapse in judgment with James! Let's hook up this weekend!_

_Tanya_

My entire body went tense as my hand with the rose in it gripped my door and my other held the card inside of my locker.

She really couldn't take a hint.

I had a brief break from her antics of trying to be with me while she was dating James Laurent but when they had broken up the week before, she started with her 'gifts'.

The Monday before she had approached me and told me she was single. I told her that was nice but I was still with Bella. She smiled, blew me a kiss and walked away.

That Thursday, I had received a text from her cell with a picture of her in nothing but her underwear. I deleted it and never responded.

The day before she gave me a black, leather, very expensive, wallet with my initials stitched onto it. I broke into her locker after football practice and put it back.

I had to have a talk with her.

It all had to stop. I was with Bella; nothing was going to change that.

"Is that for me?"

I jumped when I heard Bella's voice and snapped my head back to look behind my locker door to see Bella standing there with a beautiful smile on her face.

"Huh?"

She raised her eyebrows and giggled.

"The rose, is that for me?"

I quickly snapped out of my confusion, stuffed the card in my locker and slammed the door shut.

Ok, no, I hadn't told Bella about what Tanya had been doing.

At first, I figured once I had told her I was still with Bella, nothing would happen after that. Then the picture and everything, I just knew she would freak out and I didn't want her to be hurt.

But I knew not telling her was also bad, and it seemed like Tanya wasn't going to stop, I had to tell her.

Just not that day.

I smiled and handed Bella the rose and swore to myself that I would tell her later that day.

* * *

><p>I sat in the football locker room with my knee bouncing up and down. I listened to our coach go on and on about responsibility, and acting like an 'adult' due to dumbass Demetri and Felix getting caught the night before drunk off their asses with some cheerleaders.<p>

They looked like hell due to their hangover, and I wanted to kill them.

All I wanted to do was go and see Bella, but I had to sit and listen to bullshit.

The night before had been... fuck... there was no words.

Things between Bella and I had defiantly started to heat up even more than they had before. When she had told me she wanted to have sex, my heart stopped.

Of course I had _thought_ of having sex with Bella, but the reaction I had to that wouldn't be the one that you would expect.

The thought of having sex with Bella completely and utterly scared the living fuck out of me.

I wanted to sleep with Bella and I didn't want to sleep with Bella.

Before, the question of sex always had the answer of yes, but sex with Bella would mean so much... more.

Bella was a virgin; she had never had sex before. I want her first time to be special, and something she could be proud of, and what if I couldn't step up to that? What if I did something she didn't like, or worse, I hurt her?

Yes, it always hurt for girls the first time, but what if I _actually_ hurt her? I would have never fucking forgiven myself.

I told her I wasn't ready and she let it go. I just prayed she actually understood my explanation.

Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next between us.

I had gotten blow jobs before, great ones, but Bella was the fucking best.

No lie.

I had never experienced an orgasm like that in my entire life. My entire body had just gone completely slack and all I wanted to do was go to sleep.

Like I said, best ever.

I chewed on my nail as the coach continued on. I flinched when I felt a jab in my side and looked over at Emmett.

"If you don't stop bouncing your knee, I'm going to kick your ass!" he whispered into my ear.

I coughed and straightened in my seat while mumbling sorry.

"What has you so antsy?" I opened my mouth to reply but he cut me off. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

I gave him a confused look as the coach finally decided to dismiss us.

Emmett stood up and looked down at me.

"Next time my sister gives you a hickey, try and at least cover it up in front of me"

I smirked as he walked away. When I had woken up that morning and saw the hickey, I had actually fucking blushed.

Before, a hickey made me freak out, but the thought of Bella marking me as her own had been actually pretty fucking hot.

I jumped out of my seat and ran out of the room. My entire body vibrated with excitement as I made my way towards Bella.

When I walked up to her locker and saw her break down into tears my heart stopped. Then when she refused to talk to me, I began to panic. I wanted to know who hurt her so I could go kill them.

When I dragged her into the closet and demanded that she tell me what was wrong, I couldn't help my reaction.

I laughed my ass off at the thought of being mad over the fact that Bella gave me a hickey, because I had been waiting for the same reaction when I saw it, but it never came. But I quickly sobered up when she snapped at me and explained that I wasn't mad, that I thought it was hot.

She giggled that beautiful giggle and apologized for crying which caused me to tense.

"Don't do that to me again, ok? You have no idea how scared I was. I was ready to run out and beat the living shit out of any person that I saw just incase they were the reason you were crying like that."

When she pulled away from our kiss, I placed my forehead against hers and looked down at her closed eyes.

"I love you, Edward."

My entire body sang with happiness. I couldn't describe the joy I felt every time she had said those words to me, or the overwhelming feeling that had come over me the past couple weeks to say them back.

I liked Bella; I figured that out a while before, but love? I had never actually thought about it. But in that moment, in that closet, I knew, without a doubt, I loved her.

I had been terrified when I saw her crying and had been willing to do anything in my power to stop it.

I, Edward Cullen, had fallen in love with Bella Swan.

I smiled at my revelation and opened my mouth to tell her but was cut off when she jumped when the school bell rang out. She gave me a kiss, said something about being late for class and pulled me out of the closet.

My shoulders sagged with disappointment at not being able to tell her how I felt.

I decided I was going to tell her the next chance that I had gotten, and I couldn't wait.

* * *

><p>I raced around my house making sure everything was in place. Bella wouldn't be there for another three hours but I wanted to make sure everything was perfect. With the help of my mother and Alice, the house was spotless and there were three pounds of crab legs waiting to be cooked in the kitchen.<p>

Bella's favorite.

The dining room table was set with two candles in the middle and a bouquet of blue lilies in the middle. I smiled when I thought about earlier that day.

* * *

><p><em>I leaned against my Volvo with my hands in the pockets of my jacket while I waited for Bella to come out. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Of course every year I made a big deal about Bella's birthday, she was my best friend, but this was our first birthday together as a couple, and I just wanted to make the day amazing for her. <em>

_When the Swan house door opened, I immediately straightened up. Bella came walking out of her house biting her delicious lip and a hint of pink on her cheeks. My smiled widened as she walked up to me. _

"_Happy Birthday," I whispered._

"_Don't remind me," she mumbled. _

_I leaned in and captured her lips with my own. Like all of our kisses, it quickly turned passionate. Bella's hands grabbed the back of my hair causing me to moan and bring her closer. Kissing Bella was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was like my entire body was on fire and every emotion was heightened to the highest it could go. _

_Bella was the first to pull away when we needed to breathe. I didn't care. I would have gladly suffocated if it had meant that I would have to die kissing her. I leaned my forehead against hers and closed my eyes._

_Like always, I had to will my body to calm down when she was around. I was pretty sure there was going to be one time when I couldn't and I would explode from need. _

"_Bella, your birthday is definitively something to celebrate about" I whispered._

_She smiled softly up at me. "So it would seem. Did you know someone broke into my room last night and put rose petals all over my bed while I was sleeping?" _

_I tried to hold back my grin. "You don't say?" _

_Bella nodded, as we pulled apart. I opened the car door for her before I walked over and got in the driver side and drove off._

"_Yup. But that wasn't the weird part."_

"_Oh yeah?" _

"_When I noticed the rose petals, I sat up in bed and this bracelet was on my wrist," she explained as she held up her right arm._

_There, on her wrist, was the bracelet I bought her. It was a simple white gold chain with a crystal heart dangling on it. _

_I shifted the car into gear and glanced over at her. "Huh. That is weird."_

_Bella smiled widely then leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I love it, Edward. It's beautiful. Thank you."_

_I answered by taking her hand in my own and kissing the back of her fingers._

* * *

><p>The day had been perfect and I was so happy that I could give that to her. If anyone deserved to have a perfect birthday it was Bella.<p>

I heard a loud crack of lightening from outside and shook my head. I hoped that the rain didn't stop Bella and her mom from having a good day. I knew Bella had been looking forward to it for months.

I looked out the window and watched as the rain poured down hard. I let out a sigh as realized I would have to wait until the rain slowed down a bit to take out the trash.

TRASH!

I quickly turned around and headed toward my stairs. I needed to get rid of that bag the psycho Tanya had left on my porch. I didn't even know what was in it, I just knew what the card said and it made me shiver.

She really could not take a hint.

Just as I had made it to the stairs, a loud knock on the front door stopped me. My brows went together in confusion because I had no clue who it could have been. My dad was at work, Alice went over Jasper's, and my mom had gone to Seattle to visit some friends. They all knew the romantic dinner I had planned for Bella and promised to stay away for a while.

I unlocked the door and opened it quickly. My eyes went wide with surprise. Standing there before me was Bella, drenched from head to toe and shivering.

"Bella?"

"She didn't show up," she cried. "She didn't even call."

I snapped out of my shock and pulled her inside out of the rain and closed the door.

"Why didn't you call me, love? I would have came and got you."

Bella started to sob. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, not caring about the fact that I would get wet, as well.

"Shh, it's ok. Come on; let's get you into some dry clothes."

By the time we got to my room, her sobbing had stopped but had been replaced by the clattering of her teeth. I went over to my dresser and grabbed the first t-shirt and sweat pants I could find.

"I waited there for her and she just never showed. Who _does_ that?"

I threw the clothes on my bed and walked back over to her and began to rub my hands up and down her arms.

"Just try and calm down. I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation for what happened."

Bella shook her head. "No. She doesn't care. She never did."

The tears started to come again and I felt completely helpless. I wanted to take her pain away but I didn't know how. So I did the only thing I could. I sat down on my bed and pulled her into my lap and just held her as she cried.

"I'm her daughter and she doesn't even love me," Bella cried and it broke my heart.

"Of course she does, Bella! She's just… there's just something wrong with her. But she does love you. Everyone loves you; don't you know how loveable you are?" I whispered.

She didn't respond. She just kept her head down and sniffled. I let out a breath. I had to tell her at that moment. I couldn't wait until later.

It was time.

"Bella, I…" I started but stopped. I suddenly got a sense of fear. I had never said it to anyone before in my life and I wanted it to be special.

Bella sat up and looked at me confused. "Edward?"

I closed my eyes and let out another breath. "I know how loveable you are because I love you. I'm in love with you."

I opened my eyes to see Bella looking back at me, with her wide, teary eyes, and biting her lip.

"I love you, too," she whispered. "So much."

I couldn't explain the joy I felt when she said those words back to me. I couldn't even speak. She had, of course, said them before. But she had just spoken them in response to me saying them first. I just wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and slammed her lips against mine.

Our teeth, tongues and lips scrapped together with such force and passion that I was blown away. I squeezed her body close to my own and moaned when she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth. After a couple minutes, I felt her start to push against me, indicating that she wanted me to lay back.

"Mm, Bella," I said, breaking away from the kiss. "Maybe we shouldn't…"

Bella grabbed my head in her hands and whispered, "Don't. Just kiss me."

I looked in her eyes for any sign of doubt and found none. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I cupped her cheek and kissed her again before pulling her back onto the bed with me.


	21. Chapter 21

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**if i owned them, id' be really happy**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I laid back on Edward's bed as he crawled up my body. My heart was pounding in my chest. This was actually going to happen. Edward and I were actually going to have sex.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Edward whispered to me.

I nodded my head before I could let any thoughts process through my mind.

Edward kissed my lips as my hands began to unbutton his shirt. What had seemed like seconds later, all of our clothes were on the floor, and I was moaning as Edward's fingers worked in and out of me.

I screamed out my release and vaguely heard Edward groan into my neck before moving up to kiss my lips. My fingers gripped his hair and pulled him deeper into the kiss.

When he eventually pulled away so that we both could catch our breath, I whispered to him, "Edward... please... I need you"

He groaned, nodded his head and leaned off of me towards the right. My brows went together in confusion while I watched him rummage around the drawer in his nightstand.

My faced heated up when I saw him pull out a small, foil package. Edward sat up on his knees and ripped the package open with his teeth.

I watched with wide eyes as he rolled the condom on before lying back down on top of me.

"Are you sure?" he asked me again after seeing my nervous face.

I looked into his eyes, smiled and nodded.

Edward kissed my lips, and then hooked my right leg under his arm.

"It's going to hurt for a little while, if it gets to be too much, just tell me," he whispered against my lips.

I nod my head and felt him position himself at my entrance. I closed my eyes to prepare for the pain, but opened them when I felt Edward's hand cup my face and his thumb rub along my jaw.

He looked back and forth between my eyes before he said, "I love you, Bella."

Tears stung my eyes and my heart soared.

"I love you, too" I whispered back.

He kissed me softly and pushed into me.

I gasped at the new feeling, but had felt no pain, just a feeling of being... filled.

"Fuck," Edward breathed out and squeezed his eyes shut.

He mumbled his love for me again and pushed himself into me completely.

My eyes shot open as a white, blinding, pain shot throughout my entire body. I let out a choked cry and dug my nails deep into Edward's shoulders.

Edward held himself still inside of me while whispering words of apology and love. A tear escaped my eye which Edward wiped away.

"Breathe, baby," he whispered softly.

I let out the breath I hadn't even known I was holding and bit my lip to try and mask the pain.

After a couple of minutes, the pain had started to fade away and I told Edward it was ok for him to continue.

He began to slowly move in and out of me and after a while, it had started to feel extremely good.

All the while, Edward nipped, licked, and kissed any part of my skin he could while he moaned in pleasure.

And the sounds he made... the words he spoke... were ecstasy alone.

"You feel so good..."

"Fuck, I love you so much, so fucking much..."

"You're so tight, baby, so fucking good..."

I moaned and hitched my legs up and around his waist which caused him to start moving faster.

I felt the fire begin to boil deep inside. I had never felt such pleasure in my entire life. My body was so hot it felt like it was on fire but I loved it and wanted more.

Edward sat up on his knees and continued to thrust. I lifted my hips to match his thrusts which caused him to throw his head back in pleasure.

The look on his face was the sexiest thing I had ever fucking seen and knowing that I was the reason for that look of complete and utter ecstasy on his face took me closer to the edge.

And when he took his right hand and made contact with my little bundle of nerves in between my legs, I exploded.

My back arched off the bed, my hands flew up to grip the rails of his headboard and I moaned out, "FUCK!"

Encouraged by my reaction, Edward slammed back down on top of me and groaned. My entire body had gone completely numb and my arms fell onto the bed.

Edward started to move faster and I had begun to think I gone insane for feeling pleasure again.

"Am I hurting you?" he panted.

I quickly shook my head. "No. Go faster."

"Fuck," he breathed out before he kissed my lips.

Edward's left hand snuck up my arm and I felt his fingers intertwine with my own before he started to move faster.

The headboard slammed back against the wall and every time my hips met his thrust, a very unlady like 'oommpff' escaped my mouth, but I still loved every second of it.

Edward's left hand squeezed my own and his right squeezed my left thigh. He pumped into me three more times before he stilled and came with a loud grunt.

He collapsed on top of me and we both just laid there panting. I could feel him twitching inside of me and I couldn't help but smile.

"That was..." he trailed off.

"Yeah," I agreed with a nod.

He finally lifted his head and looked into my eyes. If my cheeks hadn't already been red from sex, they would have been red from blushing. Funny how he was lying on top of me, still _inside_ of me, and I was embarrassed by eye contact.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked softly as he brought our entwined hands together and kissed my knuckles.

I bit my lip and shook my head no. He smiled up at me, gave me a quick kiss and rolled away. I pulled the sheet up to cover my chest while he removed the condom.

My eyes went wide when I saw that it was covered in blood and some had gotten on him.

"Oh my god!" I gasped out and threw my hands up to cover my eyes.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

Edward tried to pry my hands away from my face but I refused to move them.

"Bella, that's normal. It's nothing to be ashamed about"

"I'm so sorry!"

Edward chuckled and kissed my arm. "Don't be sorry, love. You couldn't help it."

I put my arms down on the bed and looked at his face.

"But there's... _on_ you too, you have to be grossed out"

He kissed my cheek and shrugged his shoulders. "I'll go get a shower. Please, don't let something like this ruin our moment."

I let out a sigh and nodded before he pulled me onto his chest. We laid there for almost an hour, neither of us spoke. I just listened to the sound of his heart beat while he played with my hair and gave my forehead the occasional kiss.

"You were amazing," he whispered.

My cheeks flushed and I buried my head more into his chest. Edward hooked his finger under my chin and lifted my face up to look at him.

"You were, I never knew it could be like this, love. Thank you."

I swallowed and leaned up to kiss him. What started as a soft, slow kiss quickly turned more passionate. My leg that had been hitched up over his shifted and I felt that he had started to grow hard. I pulled away from the kiss and looked at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Up for round two?" Edward asked as he wiggled his eyebrows causing me to laugh.

"I think that might be a possibility Mr. Cullen," I responded as Edward moved back on top of me.

He flipped us over so that he was back on top but just as we started to kiss again, the phone rang from downstairs.

"Ignore it," Edward said against my lips.

"Mm," I moaned before breaking away. "What if it's your mother?"

"Don't care," Edward said as he kissed a path down my neck.

I closed my eyes and swallowed. It was so hard to think when he would do that.

"What if… what if she's on her way home?"

Edward groaned in frustration and leaned his forehead on my collarbone before he rolled over and got out of bed.

"Don't go anywhere!" He exclaimed as he pulled his boxers on. "I'm not finished with you yet!"

I giggled as he ran out of his bedroom to grab the phone. I lay back on the bed and covered my face with my hands. I had the biggest smile I could ever remember having and I couldn't contain my little squeal of happiness. I had to just lost my virginity to the man I had been in love with for most of my life after he told me he was in love with me, too. It was the best present I could have asked for.

And to be honest, I couldn't wait to do it again.

My stomach growled which brought me out of my thoughts and reminded me I hadn't eaten since that morning. My mouth started to water when I remembered seeing the beautiful spread out on the Cullen's kitchen table when I had first arrived. I decided I needed food if I was going to go another round with Edward and hopped out of bed. I quickly put on my panties but as I leaned down to grab my actual clothes, I got an evil idea. I saw Edward's button down shirt lying on the floor next to the bed and decided that was what I wanted to wear. I pulled the shirt up and put it on. As I was buttoned up the buttons, a flash of a pink ribbon peaking out from under Edward's bed caught my eye. I bit my lip as I looked down at the object. I didn't want to snoop, but my curiosity got the better of me. I got down on my knees and looked under the bed to see a pink and white Victoria's Secret bag lying there.

I pulled out the bag with wide eyes and a hint of a blush.

Had Edward bought me something at Victoria's Secret that he wanted me to wear?

I looked at the door to make sure Edward wasn't coming and opened up the bag. Inside was a pink, lace, nighty that looked small enough to be scarf. I could feel my cheeks heat up to the max as I continued to pull the garment out of the bag. I wrinkled my nose at the smell that came off of the lace because it smelled cheap and tacky... but oddly familiar. When the outfit was completely out, a little card fell from it and landed on my lap. I picked up the card and when I read the inscription on the inside, my heart stopped.

**I want to wear this for you tomorrow at your party! ;)**

**Xoxo Tanya**

My entire mind went blank and my heart seemed to beat faster than it ever had before. I think I actually stopped breathing as I read the note over and over again. I wanted to throw both items down, but there was something that was gluing them to my hands.

"Sorry, baby, that was my mom she just wanted to see…." Edward began as he walked into his room but stopped when he saw what I was looking at.

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes before looking back down at the items and then, finally, threw them onto the ground.

"Bella… love… it's not what you think" Edward whispered as he moved towards me.

I let out a humorless laugh and said; "You actually think I could form a thought right now?"

"Just let me explain," he pleaded as he knelt before me.

I quickly stood up and backed away from him. "Explain what, exactly, Edward? What the hell is that?"

Edward stood up and ran his hand through his hair.

"When I came home from school today, that was sitting on my porch. I don't know how it got there, I mean, I can guess, but I was going to throw it right out, but my mom was in the kitchen and I didn't want her asking questions so I brought it up here and just threw it under my bed. I was going to throw it out later, but I had forgotten about it. I swear," he rambled on.

I listened to Edward's story as my eyes stayed glued onto the objects on the ground. I tried to hold back the tears in my eyes, but it seemed on that day, I wasn't as strong as I liked to be.

"So, she just randomly left you this on your porch?" I asked confused.

Edward let out a breath. "She's been leaving me things for a while now."

My eyes went wide.

_A while? _

She had been leaving him things for a while?

"Wha… What do you mean she's been leaving you things? Like what?"

Edward sat down on his bed and pulled at his hair. "Notes, gifts, I don't know. I throw them all away and never respond to anything."

I racked my brain to try and remember if he told me any of that and I came up blank.

"You never..."

"I didn't want you to get upset, or get the wrong idea," Edward explained, cutting me off.

I let out a breath of disbelief and shook my head. "So you just decided to keep it from me? Some girl is sending you sexy… _gifts_... and you decide the best course is to keep it from your girlfriend?!" I screamed out.

Edward winced at my tone. "Ok, it was a bad idea…"

"Bad idea? BAD IDEA?!" I yelled as I clenched my fists. I tried to form words but none came out of my mouth. Instead, I just clenched my fists at my side and started to shake with anger.

"Love, please…" Edward started towards me but I stepped back.

"Don't even THINK about touching me right now! You should have told me!" I yelled before I started to gather my clothes off of the ground.

"I just…"

"Is she what you want, Edward? Is she the type of girl that can make you happy?" I knew the questions were ridiculous once they came out of my mouth but, at the time, I wasn't thinking clearly.

Edward looked at me with a look of pure horror and said, "What?! Are you kidding me?! No! Bella, I love you! I want you!"

I yanked my pants on as visions of Tanya and Edward danced around in my head. I wanted to throw up.

"Please don't leave, baby," Edward pleaded while he walked over to me. "I'm sorry. I should have told you. It was stupid not to, but please, don't leave."

"What if the situation was reversed, Edward?" I asked after I finished putting on my shoes. "What if Jacob was sending me notes and gifts like that, and I didn't tell you. How would you feel?"

Edward's jaw visibly tensed and he breathed through his nose. Bringing up Jacob was a sore subject for him, but Tanya was a sore subject for me. I shook my head when he didn't answer and made my way for the door.

"Please! Ok, I get it. I'm sorry. I would feel the same way, but you have to believe me! It was never anything like that!" Edward explained as he grabbed my arm to keep me from leaving his room.

And deep down, I honestly knew that. I hadn't, for one second, believed that Edward would cheat on me, I believed he loved me.

"I know," I whispered. "But I'm still hurt that you didn't tell me about this."

Edward nodded and rested his head on my shoulder. "I should have. I'm so sorry."

"I just need a little time, ok?" I asked him softly. Edward's head shot up and a look of fear was visible in his eyes which caused me to immediately back peddle. "Not time from us, just time tonight. With everything that has happened, I feel completely exhausted."

Edward ran his hands through his hair and let out a breath. "Can you stay here and get some time?"

I let out a little chuckle and rolled my eyes. "That kind of defeats the purpose."

Edward smiled that beautiful smile I loved more than anything and whispered, "I know. But it's your birthday, love. And if you left right now, I don't know what I would do."

I smiled and leaned against the doorframe. "Dirty rooms beware."

Edward chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Let's eat dinner, watch some movies, and have our special night like planned. Please?"

He pulled out all the stops and I almost melted when he pouted. I nodded and his smile returned. He kissed me on the cheek and pulled me in for a hug.

"On one condition," I said causing Edward to pull back and look down at me. "Throw away that bag please."

Edward laughed and nodded. "With pleasure, love. Now, let's get back to our perfect evening."

But it wasn't the perfect evening Edward and I had hoped for. It was filled with awkward silences and tense discussions. As much as I tried, I couldn't push that bag from my mind. If that wasn't the first gift, what other kind of gifts did she send? Because, in my opinion, a lace garment was a little extreme.

We didn't make love again that night. When we had gotten back upstairs, it was still awkward and we just laid in bed and watched a movie until we both went to sleep. I woke up the next morning before Edward but made no attempt to move. My dreams had been filled with pictures of Tanya and him together and it made for a fitful sleep. I looked down at his arm around my waist and bit my lip. I had everything I ever wanted but couldn't hold back my doubt.

Edward squeezed my waist which caused me to look over and see his beautiful green eyes staring back at me.

"I always did love waking up next to you," Edward said with a smile as he snuggled closer to me.

I smiled softly as he kissed my forehead and we got comfortable. Neither one of us said anything for a long time; we just laid there in silence.

"Bella…"

"I should go," I stated, cutting Edward off.

I knew he wanted to say something about last night, apologize again, but I just couldn't hear it. I sat up quickly and got out of the bed.

"You're leaving?" Edward asked in shock.

I nodded my head as I gathered my clothes. "Yeah, my dad will be wondering where I am. Plus, your sister will be at my house to get me ready for that party."

"It's ten in the morning. Alice won't be there until one. Let's have breakfast," Edward pleaded.

I wanted to stay. I really did. But I needed time to think and when I was around Edward, thinking straight usually went out the window. When I got myself situated I finally looked at him. He was sitting up on the bed, his hair a complete mess from just waking up, his chest completely lick able, and a look of fear across his face.

I moved my hair to behind my ears and walked over to the bed. He automatically moved closer and wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped mine around his shoulders.

"I promise I will see you later. I just have some things I have to do today"

"Translation, you need time to think," Edward mumbled, looking over my shoulder.

I didn't say anything. I didn't want to lie to him.

"It was nothing Bella, I love _you._ I want _you._ No one else," Edward whispered.

I nodded and lightly kissed his lips. "I love you, too."

He pulled me into his arms for a bone-crushing hug. I squeezed my eyes shut so that the tears would stay away. I had to figure out my thoughts and work through my insecurities. It wasn't fair to Edward to have to deal with them.

I just needed to think.


	22. Chapter 22

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**i own nothing, and thats Sad :(**

**::starts to pull out safe house i built back when i wrote Taken:: ahhh ::wipes hands:: this should be a good place to stay until next update! happy reading! ::gets into safe house, slams door shut and locks windows::**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I walked into my house and threw my keys onto the side table. The entire ride home had been a complete blur. For some reason, I couldn't let go of the fact that Edward had hid something like that from me.

I had thought we had gotten past the point of insecurities and we both knew nothing and/or no one could break us up.

So why did he have to lie?

I made my way towards the kitchen and slumped down into the chair. What was supposed to have been one of the greatest moments in my life had been tainted because some bimbo couldn't take a hint, and my boyfriend decided not to tell me about it.

I tried to see it from his point of view, but my anger and hurt blocked it all.

Maybe I had overreacted due to already being upset, but he still should have told me.

And to throw it under his bed like he had? Why not just throw it away immediately? Why not take it off the porch and go right to the garbage cans that had been at the bottom of the steps and toss it out?

My head was running with so many different questions and thoughts that it had started to hurt. I let out a groan and put my head down on the table.

"You ok, Bells?"

I lifted my head to see Charlie walk in with his fishing gear. I had forgotten that he would be leaving to go spend the weekend down at the reservation with Billy for their yearly 'Fishing Trip'.

"Yeah," I responded. "Just have a headache."

Charlie looked at my skeptically for a few seconds before he nodded his head. One of the great things about Charlie, he didn't push.

"Did you have a good birthday?"

I wanted to snort at the question.

My birthday had gone from terrible, to completely amazing, too terrible again. I swear the day was cursed for me.

I nodded my head and looked down at my hands. I heard my father let out a sigh before he set his fishing gear down and sat in front of me.

"Bells, I know you're upset about your mother. I wish I could take that pain away from you, but I can't. You see your mother…"

"I know, Dad," I mumbled. "Renee hasn't exactly been a mother to me in a long time."

Charlie sat back and brushed his mustache. "I wish I could change that for you kids, but I don't know how."

"You don't have to change anything for us. You're the only parent we need"

A pink tint formed on my fathers face before he looked down. We both sat there in silence for a couple minutes before he mumbled something about having to get going.

I watched as he picked up his bucket, rods, and cooler. He leaned down and kissed me on the top of the head.

"Happy Birthday, Bells. Be good this weekend."

I chuckled.

"I will. Be careful"

"Always am," he responded before he walked out.

I sat at the table for a couple more minutes before I decided that I needed to call Edward. I couldn't just run away from what happened I had to face it head on.

As I reached for the phone, it started to ring. I picked it up and wished with everything that it was Edward on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Hunny! Happy Birthday! Ready for our shopping trip? I'll be a little late, I want to watch that new series on LMN, oh what's it called…."

My jaw fell open.

It wasn't Edward.

It was my _mother_.

I listened as she rattled on and on about a new TV series she wanted to catch before our day out, then she would make the drive here to take me out for my _birthday._

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I stated, interrupting her.

"Excuse me?" She actually had the nerve to sound offended.

"Don't bother missing your show, _Renee_," I spat her name out. "I don't want to be a bother."

I heard her sigh on the other end of the line. "I said I wouldn't miss it, Bella. I'm going to watch it and then come. I'll only be a couple hours late; I don't see the big deal?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. Just as I started to speak, Emmett and Rosalie walked into the kitchen with Carlie.

"There is no _big deal_, seeing as my birthday, was fucking _yesterday!_" I screamed.

Emmett immediately walked over to me and mouthed for me to hang up the phone.

"I know when my own daughter's birthday is, Isabella…"

I snorted. "Your daughter? I haven't been your daughter in a really long time, Renee."

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to, young lady? I am your mother and you will…"

"Just because you gave birth to me, does not make you my mother."

"Watch it," she snapped. "So I forgot your birthday, I don't see any harm in it if I remembered today and called."

I clenched my jaw. She had just admitted that she had actually forgotten my fucking birthday.

"Do me a favor, Renee, and forget all about me! Because I am done dealing with your bullshit!" I screamed into the phone.

"Don't you dare tempt me, Isabella, because there will be no turning back! You want me to forget you, I will without batting an eyelash!"

I let out a dry laugh.

"Go fuck yourself." I stated before I slammed the phone down.

* * *

><p>I leaned my head against the tile and let the warm water splash down on me. After my little argument with Renee on the phone I had completely lost it.<p>

Apparently, slamming the phone down to hang it up hadn't satisfied me because I picked it back up and slammed it down again, repeatedly.

I would have to explain to Charlie why we needed a new kitchen phone.

I had also broken one of the kitchen chairs and the vase that had been on top of the kitchen table.

To say I had been a little angry was an understatement.

After a couple more minutes, I finally turned the water off and got out of the shower. Ten minutes later I was sitting in my chair, still in my robe. I didn't have the energy to move let alone get dressed.

I watched as Carlie sniffed around my feet before she looked up at me with her tongue hanging out and her tail wagging. I didn't even have the energy to lean down and pet her.

I heard a knock on my door but didn't move.

"Hey, are you ok?" Rosalie asked as she walked in front of me.

I just looked up at her and shrugged my shoulders.

"Have you talked to Edward?"

I looked down at my hands.

"What's the matter?"

I let out a sigh and went into the whole story about what happened with Edward. When I finished telling her everything, it was amazing how I suddenly felt twenties time better after getting it all off my chest.

Rosalie nodded her head but kept her mouth shut. She had sat down on the window sill in front of me during my story.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," She replied too quickly.

I rolled my eyes. "You can say what you think, Rose. Nothing has ever stopped you before."

She let out a sigh and looked me straight in the eyes. "What Edward did, with not telling you, that was wrong, and, yes, you two should talk about that. But do you think you might have over reacted a little?"

I sat back in my seat and clenched my jaw. "He lied to me, Rose."

"He didn't lie to you, Bella. He didn't tell you. There's a difference"

"He should have told me!"

Rosalie nodded. "Yeah, you're right. He should have and he knows that. That's why he apologized. But was it really worth ruining such a huge, important, thing that you both shared?"

I bit my lip and mumbled, "I was upset."

"I know you were, babe. But were you more upset about your mom not showing up yesterday or Edward keeping something from you, that yes, he should have told you, but he's a man and men do stupid things"

I closed my eyes. Once it was said out loud, it made perfect sense. I trusted Edward. I decided to trust him a long time ago and when I really thought about it, he should have told me, but it really wasn't something to have a fight over.

I groaned and let my head fall back. "I'm such a bitch."

"You are not a bitch, I'm a bitch. Your emotions were going crazy. You were upset because your mother is a dumbass, then you were incredibly happy because Edward finally said those three little words and you got your groove on, then you find that. It's understandable."

"I have to apologize to him. He's probably mad..."

Rosalie snorted. "He's not mad, Bella, trust me. He's probably at his house right now scrubbing every surface, freaking out about you being mad at him."

"That doesn't make me feel any better, Rose" I mumbled.

She stood up from the window. "Just call him. Everything will be ok."

I nodded my head and grabbed my cell phone.

"You better put your hair in a towel before Alice gets here and freaks"

I rolled my eyes. "I know."

Rosalie walked towards my door and called out my name causing me to turn and look back at her.

"Congrats on getting your cherry popped!"

My eyes went wide as I threw a towel at her head while she laughed and walked out the room. I leaned back and looked at my phone. Just because I realized I over reacted didn't mean I was ok with the fact that he kept it from me.

Tanya had been a huge part of the "old" us and I thought she had been out of the picture for good. We still needed to talk.

I ran my hand through my hair when the conversation with my mother came back to my mind. I hated myself for being upset about it, but I couldn't help it.

My cell phone started to ring and brought me out of my thoughts. The ring tone indicated to me that it was Edward calling. It didn't surprise me that my entire body told me to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Baby? Are you ok? Emmett told me what happened with your mom..."

"I'm fine..." I mumbled.

I was too exhausted to even care that Emmett had told him.

"Love... you're not fine. I'm so sorry that happened do you want to talk about it?"

Tears pricked my eyes again as I bit my lip.

"No" I chocked out.

I heard Edward curse on the other line.

"Baby, talk to me... please... I'll come over."

I sniffled and shook my head. "No, it's fine. Your sister will be here any minute and then we're going to get ready and come over. There wouldn't be any point."

"The point is that you're in pain and I want to be there for you"

"And you will... we'll talk later"

"Do you promise?"

I smiled. He sounded like a little boy asking his parents to promise to take him to the park.

"I promise."

I heard Edward sigh with relief. "I'm going to hold you to that, Swan."

I bit my lip as I felt a giggle come up. Suddenly the Tanya situation seemed so small and unimportant and all I wanted to do was see my boyfriend and lie in his arms and forget about my shitty mother.

"Yes, Sir!" I answered with a salute.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR HAIR UP IN A TOWEL!"

I heard Alice scream right before my front door slammed.

"Ugh, your sister just showed up and I don't have my hair in a towel."

Edward laughed. "Is that bad?"

I rolled my eyes. "Who knows, dry is dry isn't it?"

"I thought so"

"I COMING UP IN TWO MINUTES, YOU BETTER BE READY FOR ME!"

I let out a sigh.

"I have to go; your sister wants to torture me."

Edward chuckled again. "Ok, baby."

"I'll see you later."

"Are you sure you're ok?" Edward whispered.

I sat up and ran my hand through my wet hair.

"I will be. I'll see you later."

"Ok. I love you"

It was amazing how my body sang at those words. "I love you, too."

I hung up the phone and let out another sigh. Alice giving me a two minute warning meant that Rosalie and Emmett were informing her on what happened.

It wasn't that I didn't want Alice to know. She was my best friend and I told her everything. I just didn't want to have to deal with the 'are you ok' question anymore.

I stood and went for the towel on my bed but jumped when my bedroom door slammed open.

My hand went to my chest and I gasped.

"Christ, Alice! Give me a heart attack, why don't you!"

Her face turned hard and she slammed her hands on her hips.

"Why isn't your hair in a towel?"

"Um..."

She rolled her eyes and snatched the towel out of my hand.

"You're mother is a bitch, I'm sorry, it's true. But I don't have time to worry about her and neither do you, because she is no one to us."

I opened and closed my mouth a couple times before I laughed and shook my head.

"Al, you're great."

She rolled her eyes, smiled and said, "Well, duh!"

* * *

><p>I let my head fall back onto the seat as Alice continued to bitch.<p>

"I specifically brought those shoes for your outfit and now it's ruined because you _insisted_ on wearing _those_," she spat out in disgust.

"Thanks so much, Al. You make me feel real good!"

"It's ruined for me!" She screeched. "But for some ungodly reason not for you! You _actually_ look cute! The world hates me!"

Rosalie laughed loudly as she parked her car and we all got out. I looked down at the one shoulder, black, mini dress Alice put me in then looked down at my feet. They were covered in my brand new black and white, high top, converse sneakers.

"It doesn't look that bad," I mumbled.

"Of course it doesn't, babe!" Rosalie replied.

"That's my point!" Alice yelled before she turned towards both of us.

Both Rosalie and my face were masked with confusion.

"You make that look _actually_ cute! I can't argue with it! It works for you because it _is_ you!" She growled before she continued. "And now, every girl that see's it will think it's cute too and try and do it and it will look absolutely horrid! Why can't you just wear heels?"

Rosalie and I stood there and watched as she stomped up the steps into her house with her pink dress swishing in the wind.

"I'm confused," I admitted.

"She's a confusing person," Rosalie stated with a shrug.

Rosalie straightened her dress and I couldn't help but me amazed out how beautiful she was. She wore a red, strapless dress and her blonde hair was down in curls.

Rosalie caught me looking at her and rolled her eyes.

"I know," she began as she pulled up the top of her dress. "I look good."

We both chuckled and made our way into the house.

"Happy Birthday!" everyone yelled as I walked through the door.

I blushed and bit my lip. I had actual thoughts of killing Alice. I wanted a small gathering of just our group and she invited the entire school.

"How many times have you envisioned murdering Alice in your head right now?" Rosalie asked.

I smiled and waved to everyone and replied, "About a hundred."

I pushed my way through the crowd of people and thanked everyone who wished me a happy birthday. I tried to look for Edward but he was no where around.

I let out a sigh and brushed my hair behind my shoulder before I leaned against a wall. I wanted to have a good time but I needed to talk to Edward first. I had to apologize to him.

"You look beautiful" I heard whispered into my ear.

I smiled and looked to my left to see Edward leaning against the wall. He was wearing dark, blue jeans, with a light blue button up shirt on with the sleeves rolled up. His stubble had grown in a little more since I had last seen him and his hair was its normal beautiful, messy, self.

I turned towards him and opened my mouth to speak but stopped when I saw his eyes run over my outfit full on and then bulge out.

"Fuck, baby. You look fucking sexy as hell!"

I blushed and looked down at my sneakers. I suddenly wished I had worn the heels.

"I love the chucks, too"

"You don't think it looks bad?" I asked.

Edward chuckled and put his arms around my waist.

"Far from it. I think I might have to keep you permanently in my arms tonight so it keeps me from killing every single guy in here."

I giggled and rested my forehead on his chest. He kissed my head and my entire body relaxed as he rubbed my back.

"Do you want to go upstairs and talk?"

I lifted my head and looked around. I had felt like crap all day and I knew if I continued to dwell on the events that had occurred, I would just continue to feel like crap.

"Can we just forget about all of it and have a good time?"

"Bella..."

"I'm not trying to avoid anything, I promise," I stated, cutting him off. "Today has just been crappy and I'd really like to forget it and just have some fun."

Edward nodded and brushed a piece of hair out of my face.

"Ok. But tomorrow... we're talking about everything"

I agreed and put my mind to work on having a good time. I didn't have to work that hard it turned out because by eleven I was feeling really good and having a great time.

Edward was by my side the entire time and had told me he loved me over and over. A little after eleven, he started to act strange and I couldn't figure out why.

He kept looking at the clock and the door way. After I caught him for about the twentieth time, I finally called him out on it.

"What are you waiting for?"

He had lifted his red cup to his mouth to take a drink, but stopped and leaned down closer so he could hear me so I asked him again.

Edward chuckled, nervously. "Nothing."

He brought his cup up to his lips and took a sip when I quirked my eyebrow at him. I knew he was hiding something but didn't know what exactly.

I opened my mouth to ask him again when he looked at the door way and suddenly jumped up.

"I'll be right back"

My brows went together in confusion. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," he stated again.

Edward put his drink down on the table and began to walk away.

"Edward!" I cried out as I grabbed his arm.

He looked at the doorway before looking back at me. He smiled and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"I just have to grab something upstairs, love. I'll be right back. Why don't you go out back by the pool? It's real pretty out tonight" he suggested with a smile.

I pressed my lips together and stared at him. I looked towards the doorway he had been staring at but I couldn't see anything.

He gave me a quick kiss before he ran out of the room and up the stairs. I let out a sigh and turned to go out back by the pool. There had to have been a reason he told me to go there so I would play along for a little while.

"Bella!" I looked up to see Jessica Stanely stumbling her way towards me.

I rolled my eyes. Jessica and I weren't enemies, but we weren't exactly friends, either.

"What's up, Jess?"

"Just saw Edward and Tanya go upstairs, trouble in paradise?" she asked with a slight slur and cockiness to her voice.

I laughed dryly and shook my head. "Tanya's not here."

Jessica giggled, drunkenly.

"She's been here all night, Beelllaa" she drew my name out. "Guess Edward asked her to keep hidden."

"This is low, Jess, even for you"

She snorted and turned her head.

"Lauren!"

I rolled my eyes. I liked Lauren about as much as I liked Jess.

"Laur, who were we just doing shots with?"

"Maria and Tanya, why? Are you that wasted, Jess?"

All the blood drained from my face. Jess snickered and looked at me with a smirk. I pushed passed the two girls and walked out of the room. I heard Jess giggle as I walked away and wanted to rip her hair out.

They had to have been lying. Edward would have never invited her to a party, let alone, my _birthday_ party. I looked around the room but couldn't find him anywhere.

"Rose, did you see where Edward went?" I asked as I walked up to her.

"Ugh, upstairs, I think. Yeah, upstairs. I saw him whisper something to Jasper then run up." I nodded and headed towards the steps but kept my eyes out for strawberry blonde hair.

"Everything ok?" Rosalie asked.

I nodded and continued towards the steps. When I reached the bottom I looked up but couldn't see anything. Upstairs was always off limits whenever the Cullen's had a party so I knew the only person that could have been up there was Edward.

I climbed the steps and took a few deep breaths. I hadn't actually seen Tanya, so I couldn't accuse him of anything, but I would ask. I honestly didn't think Edward invited her, which meant she just showed up by herself. And she would only show up to start something and I had dealt with enough the past couple days.

"Edward?" I called out when I reached the top of the steps but received no response.

I started to walk towards his room but stopped when I heard his voice come from the bathroom.

"Shit!" He groaned out.

My face scrunched in confusion and I walked towards the bathroom.

"Edward?" I called out softer when I heard another noise.

I began to worry that he had maybe gotten sick and decided to go right in. Luckily, the door had been cracked and not completely closed.

I pushed open the bathroom door and nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.

My heart stopped and my entire body went stiff. Tears immediately stung my eyes and my jaw fell open.

Because standing there in front of me, was Edward.

His pants were undone and his shirt was unbuttoned.

His eyes were wide and filled with horror.

That probably had something to do with the fact that Tanya was on her knees in front of him.

She turned back to look at me and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand right before she giggled and said, "Oopps."

* * *

><p><strong>::opens safe house window and waves white flag:: do not murder me! please try and repeat to yourself over and over again 'she believes in happy endings, she believes in happy endings! SHE HATES CHEATING!' reviews = teasers and i love you all :) ::slams safe house window shut::<strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**::looks at the ruins of my safe house:: holy shit. yeah. um, I'll just wait to talk until then end. I have to go tend to Edward.**

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**i own nothing which sucks**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

In the exact moment Bella had opened the bathroom door, I knew my life would never be the same, and if I had known that was going to happen earlier that morning, I would have told Alice to take her party and throw it out the fucking window.

I had been going crazy with nerves ever since Jasper had called to tell me that his cousin had come through with the stuff we needed for the party.

When I thought about the idea I had come up with for Bella's birthday, and told the guys about it, they laughed at me for twenty minutes straight. But when I told them to fuck off and got up to leave the room, they grabbed me and told me to sit down. Apparently, if I decided to go through with my "gay idea" and they didn't, they'd be in the doghouse for weeks while I looked like the fucking king. I snickered and made some smart-ass comment about always being the king.

From that moment on, my hands wouldn't stop shaking and I couldn't control the sweat on my brow, but I pushed through it and told myself to man up because it was for Bella.

Bella.

I loved her so fucking much and when I finally told her, it had felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. It had always felt amazing when Bella told me she loved me, but to be able to finally say it back was even more amazing.

But being inside of her... there was no words.

I had sex before, a lot of sex. But I had never experienced anything like that in my entire life. It felt so right and so... beautiful.

I had never felt that complete in my entire life. The night I had made love to Bella for the first time was, hands down, the best night in my entire existence.

I wished with everything that I could say the night when perfectly after that, but it didn't. After Bella found the bag, even though she stayed, she was different. Dinner was filled with awkward conversations followed by us both cleaning the kitchen and mumbled 'excuse me's' and 'sorrys' when we bumped into each other. I took her up to my room to watch a movie after that but nothing changed.

Even though she had been lying in my arms, I could tell she had been a million miles away. When the movie was over and I asked what she thought, she just shrugged her shoulders and said it was ok, confirming my suspicions that she hadn't been paying attention.

When we had turned the lights off for bed, of course, I wanted nothing more then to make love to her again, but knew to not even approach that subject. So I just pulled her in my arms, told her I loved her and fell asleep praying we'd wake up the next morning and everything would go back to normal.

But my dreams were haunted with the look on Bella's face the moment she had found the bag. It had been terrifying. She looked so hurt and wounded and no amount of words could fix it.

I knew the moment I woke up things were still bad and when she said she was leaving I panicked. I begged her to stay but I knew she had been set on leaving, and I also knew that she would spend the rest of the day thinking about that gift over and over and over analyzing it.

I should have told her, that wasn't even a question, but a part of me was a little pissed at the fact that she would over think anything.

I had thought we had gotten past all of that and she knew she could trust me. That she knew I would never do something like that.

Did she honestly not know how much I fucking loved her?

That thought alone had given me even more reason to get over my stupid fucking phobia and do what I had planned for her. She would kill me for making the spot light go on her, but she deserved it.

She always deserved it.

And I wanted to show everyone how much I loved her.

Especially, Tanya fucking Denali.

She could not take a hint.

So I made the decision to stop giving hints, and put her in her fucking place.

As soon as Bella left, I snatched up my cell to call Tanya and tell her exactly how I felt. But I didn't have her number. I really didn't want to call someone and ask for it but I refused to have her come between Bella and me any longer. I called Jessica Stanley and asked her. Not my best option, but it was the fastest thing I could come up with and when I got the number, I didn't even bother saying goodbye when I hung up.

It rang twice before she answered.

"Hey there, sexy," she purred into the phone.

"Tanya, this shit ends right. The. Fuck. Now!" I stated through clenched teeth.

"You're finally breaking up with that little freak?"

"Do NOT talk about my girlfriend that way!" I screamed.

"Edward?" she asked in a hesitant tone.

"I am with Bella. I love Bella. I do not want you. Stop with the texts, stop with the emails, and stop with the fucking gifts! What do you not get?"

"But I thought..."

"You thought what? That me ignoring you meant I wanted you? Are you fucking delusional? Get it through your thick fucking head! I. Do. Not. Want. You!" I pronounced each word clearly just in case she couldn't understand.

"What about the party...?" her tone was soft and insecure.

I chuckled dryly and shook my head. "If you even THINK about coming anywhere near my house tonight, I'll call the fucking cops. Back the fuck off right now, I mean it. Or you're going to fucking pay."

I hung the phone up before she had a chance to respond and was pleased when I received no call back.

* * *

><p>For the rest of the day, I slammed around my house while I made sure everything was in its right place for the party when Emmett called to tell me about what happened between their mom and Bella.<p>

It made me angrier and sad at the same time.

Angry that their mom was a complete idiot and sad because Bella hadn't called me and told me herself. But when I talked to her on the phone and she had promised we would talk later, I felt a little better.

She had at least answered when I called, tried to joke around, and responded when I told her I loved her.

I had always thought when people said hearing those words after a fight made you feel twenty times better, it was a load of shit, but it wasn't. When she told me she loved me too, I let out a huge breath I hadn't even known I had been holding and felt great relief.

But my heart went into my stomach again when Jasper and his cousin showed up.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, dude," Jasper laughed.

"I'm just hot," I explained as I pulled at the collar of my shirt. "It's hot in here. Why is it so hot in here?"

Jasper shook his head and laughed as he went upstairs to get ready.

"Asshole," I mumbled before following him up the steps.

* * *

><p>I watched the clock tick closer and closer to the time and my hands started to shake again. They had stopped when my eyes landed on Bella when I had first come down the stairs.<p>

She always had that affect on me.

She just made me calmer.

Also, the fact that she looked fucking delicious in her dress took my thoughts off of my nerves and onto how bad I wanted to take her upstairs and peel that dress off of her, slowly, with my teeth.

Every time she brushed against me or would lay her head on my chest, my pants would grow incredibly tight. But when she had bent over to pick up the pong ball that had hit her foot, I had to turn and look away to keep from gripping her ass.

That was when the clock caught my eye.

After that I couldn't stop looking at it. The hands of the clock were slowing torturing me.

I looked back when I heard Bella say something but had to lean down so I could hear her.

"What are you waiting for?"

I chuckled and told her nothing but she just quirked her eyebrow at me.

Fuck.

I should have known she would pick up on my nervous state right away. I started to think of something to deflect but when I looked up, I saw Jasper's cousin poke his head out and nod before he disappeared.

I jumped up and told Bella I would be right back.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," I repeated again but stopped when Bella grabbed my arm.

She looked so confused and for the first time that night, the butterflies in my stomach weren't due to being nervous, they were there because I was excited to give Bella another present.

I put my arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. "I just have to grab something upstairs, love. I'll be right back"

I looked out towards the back patio and smiled.

"Why don't you go out back by the pool? It's real pretty out tonight"

I could barely contain my smile. Bella's face still showed confusion but I just smiled, gave her a kiss and ran out of the room.

I spotted Jasper at the bottom of the stairs and stopped to whisper in his ear.

"It's time. Try and get Alice outback with Bella while Emmett gets Rose and hurry to get ready."

He nodded and walked away while I ran up the stairs. I ran into the bathroom real quick and started to run my fingers through my hair. When it was tossed to the way I liked it, I started to unbutton my shirt.

I shook my head and couldn't believe that Jasper and I had actually agreed with Emmett to do it.

"All boy bands do it, dude!" He had explained.

When I was finished, I looked at myself in the mirror and was happy with what I saw. I went to go downstairs but decided I should go to the bathroom first.

I unbuckled my belt, unbuttoned my pants and just as I started to unzip them, the bathroom door crashed up and I was pushed back so hard, I almost fell into the tub. I had to put both hands out to grab the wall to catch myself.

"What the...?"

A girl with blonde hair began to vomit in the toilet and I cursed.

"Hey... are you ok?" I asked as I stood up.

The girl nodded her head and threw up again. My face scrunched up in disgust, but I knew I had to do something. I couldn't just leave her there.

I grabbed a rag from the rack and handed it to her. "Here, I'm sure you'll want to wipe your mouth."

Her hand came up and when she grabbed the rag she finally looked up. My jaw clenched and I saw red.

"Tanya! What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to talk to you," she sobbed as she wiped her mouth.

I shook my head.

"This is ridiculous, you need to leave right the fuck now!"

She looked up at me with her eyes watering and said, "I'm way too drunk, Edward. I can't drive."

"I don't give a fuck. Call a cab! I told you not to come here!"

I leaned down and grabbed her arms to make her stand but when I started to move her up, her face turned green and she started to gag.

"Shit!" I groaned out as she dropped back to the toilet and spit into it.

That was fucking nasty.

Tanya sat back up, dropped the rag and looked up at me. I opened my mouth to tell her to go again when it happened.

The bathroom door opened to reveal Bella standing behind it. I went to explain to her what happened when I saw her eyes rake over my body. I looked down and my eyes went wide when I realized how it looked.

Tanya was on her knees, in front of me, and my pants were still undone. Then she turned back to look at Bella, wiped her mouth, and said oops.

Fucking oops!

I started to shake my head. "Bella... no"

"Hey, Bella are you ok...?" Rosalie appeared next to Bella and looked at me.

Her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open.

"What the fuck is this?!" She yelled as Bella turned and ran down the steps.

"Bella! Wait!" I screamed as I buttoned my pants and tripped over Tanya trying to get out of the door.

Rosalie slammed her hands into my chest and shoved me back.

"What the FUCK, Cullen!" She yelled.

"Move, Rose!" I pleaded and tried to get out of the door again.

"Fuck you! What the fuck is going on up here?" She yelled.

"Get the fuck out of my way, Rosalie!" I yelled.

When she didn't move, I shoved past her and ran down the steps after my girlfriend.

"Edward!" Alice yelled as she ran half way up the steps. "Bella just ran out of here crying!"

I ran past her without even saying a word. I had to get to Bella and explain.

Just as I reached the bottom of the steps, I heard a scream come from the top of the stairs and Alice race back up.

I pushed my way through the crowd of people as they tried to get to the steps to see what was going on.

"Bella!" I yelled as I crashed through the front door.

I couldn't think, my thoughts were going in every direction and all I could think about was getting to Bella.

I looked to my left just in time to see the lights on Emmett's jeep turn on and the car turn on.

"Bella! Please, wait! It's not what you think!" I yelled as I ran towards the jeep.

When I caught sight of her through the front windshield, my heart broke. Tears were running down her face and I could tell she was sobbing.

I ran up to the jeep as she started to back up.

"Baby, please!" I pleaded as I put my hands on the hood of the car. "It wasn't what it looked like, I swear! Bella, talk to me!"

She completely ignored me and put the jeep into drive. I continued to yell and beg her to listen to me but she did nothing but drive down the driveway. I ran after the jeep while I continued to shout her name but she never stopped. I stopped running and turned to run back towards my car.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt like I couldn't breath. But I knew it wasn't from running after the jeep. It was because at that moment, it felt like my entire world was crashing around me. I couldn't blame Bella for thinking something had happened, it hadn't looked good at all, but I had to explain to her that nothing did happen.

It was all just a misunderstanding.

I ran up to my car and searched my pockets for my keys. When I realized I had left them up in my room. When I turned around to run inside and get them, I saw Emmett come running out.

"Not now, Em. I have to..."

But I never got to finish because Emmett pulled back his fist and punched me right in the face. I fell to the ground as I grabbed my nose.

"Get up!" He yelled with his fists clenched at his sides.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I pulled my hands away from my face.

They were covered in blood.

"You fucking piece of shit! I fucking trusted you with my sister! And you do this!" He screamed.

"I didn't do anything!" I yelled out.

Emmett grabbed me by my shirt and yanked me to my feet. I groaned when he slammed me into my car. Emmett looked like a bear and sure as fuck was as strong as one, too.

"Right, because Tanya didn't just fucking blow you while my sister was downstairs!" Emmett screamed in my face.

"She didn't! It wasn't like that, Em!" I pleaded.

"Then why the fuck is she saying she did?"

"She's fucking nuts! I don't know why!"

Emmett opened his mouth to speak when a voice from the porch interrupted us.

"Let me go!" Tanya yelled as Rosalie dragged her out of the house by her hair followed by all of the people from the party.

Her lip was bleeding and her right cheek had already started to swell.

"You fucking skank! Get out of here!" Rosalie shoved her onto the ground.

Emmett grabbed me and pulled me towards her. I didn't bother to try and fight him. He was my best friend and I knew he was just defending his sister.

"Tell me what happened in that bathroom right now!" Emmett hissed to Tanya.

She stood up and wiped the tears that were coming down her eyes. I pleaded with her with my eyes for her to tell truth. Tanya looked at me, then to our house, then back to me.

"Your crazy ass girlfriend attacked me!" She yelled at Emmett.

"You fucking deserved it! Now tell me what the fuck happened in that bathroom!" Emmett screamed at her.

"Fuck you! I'm not telling you anything!"

"Nothing fucking happened!" I yelled. "She fucking came crashing in when I was going to the bathroom and threw up! That's it!"

"You people are fucking crazy!" Tanya yelled just as two of her friends walked up.

"Tanya, come on," her one friend pleaded.

"If your skank ass is not out of here in five fucking seconds, I'll make your left cheek match the right!" Rosalie screamed while Jasper and Alice held her back.

All the color drained from Tanya's face before her friends grabbed her by her arms and dragged her down the drive way.

"Tanya!" I yelled. "Tell them! Tell them nothing happened!"

"Fuck you, Edward!" She yelled from down the driveway.

I stared in disbelief as the only person that could confirm I was telling the truth, walked away without saying a word.

* * *

><p><strong>::rocks a crying Edward:: <strong>

**edward: see! I didnt do anything!**

**me: I know shsh! It's ok! who could have known? it looked pretty bad. **

**::stands up and clears throat:: **

**the fact that I can ignite those kind of responses from my story floors me. It means you guys really truly love it and I'm just blown away. Thank you so much.**

**now, I was going to send out the teasers and then post next week but I figured I'd put you all of out your misery lol I haven't seen a response like that with reviews ever! I think I'm still a little sore from it! HHaha**

**On another note, I DO NOT AGREE WITH CHEATING! I AM 100% AGAINST IT AND WOULD NEVER WRITE A STORY WHERE SOMEONE CHEATED AND THE OTHER FORGAVE THAT PERSON. I have been cheated on and would never never support it in any way. **

**i should have probably stated that in the last chapter huh? Hehe sorry!**


	24. Chapter 24

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**i own tickets to see the Twilight Marathon the day Breaking Dawn Part 2 comes out, but not these characters :(**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"She's not answering her phone," Emmett huffed as he paced back and forth.

I pulled at my hair as I listened to everyone talk. We had been trying to search for Bella and couldn't find her. I drove around all over the place, searched every place I could think of that she might be, but I couldn't find her.

We finally all met back at Emmett's house incase she decided to come home.

I couldn't even begin to explain how worried I was. Bella could have been hurt or someone could have taken her...

I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't think like that. I'd drive myself crazy.

I stared at my phone on the table and willed it to start ringing. At that point, all I cared about was her being ok, I'd save my groveling for later.

I pulled at my hair harder when I thought about the nights events.

* * *

><p>Once Tanya had walked away, Alice and Jasper had kicked everyone out while the five of us went back in the house. I ran to grab my keys and made my way for the front door again.<p>

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Emmett hissed.

"I'm going to find my girlfriend," I stated through clenched teeth.

"Edward, she probably went home. Why don't you go clean up your face?" Alice asked softly.

I could feel the blood that had leaked from my nose, dried and caked onto my face, but I didn't care.

"I don't give a shit about that."

"Edward, you want to tell us what happened?" I heard Rosalie ask.

My hand tightened on the door knob.

"No"

Emmett snorted. "Are you fucking serious, dude? Turn the fuck around and tell us what happened."

I clenched my jaw. I knew Emmett was only looking out for his sister but he was really starting to piss me off. I turned around and looked at my group of friends.

"Do you guys really believe I would fucking do that? Do you all think that low of me?"

"Of course not!" Alice gasped.

"It looked really bad, man," Jasper stated.

I ran my hand through my hair. "I know what it fucking looked like. But nothing happened!"

"Why don't you tell us what happened then?" Rosalie asked.

"Because it's none of your fucking business!" I screamed out causing everyone to stare at me. "It's between me and Bella! Fuck! Can I fucking explain it to my girlfriend before I explain it to all of you?"

All of them, with the exception of Emmett, nodded their heads.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go fucking find her" I stated before I slammed out the front door and ran to my car.

* * *

><p>That was two hours ago.<p>

My head snapped up when the front door opened but I let out a huff when I saw it was just the dog and his girlfriend.

"Have you heard from her yet?" He asked, his voice was filled with concern.

"No," Jasper stated with a shake of the head.

I could feel Jacob's eyes on me but didn't bother looking at him.

"Is there any places you haven't checked yet?" he asked.

"Every place we could think of, we looked," Rosalie mumbled.

"And she's not answering her cell?" Jacob's girlfriend asked, I couldn't remember her name.

"No it just rings and goes to voicemail," Alice stated.

I listened as they continued to talk and began to bounce my knee. I wanted to be out there looking but I had no where else to search.

"You got anything to say for yourself," Jacob sneered at me.

I rested my elbows on my knees, brought my hands together and clenched my jaw.

"Jake..." I heard his girlfriend start.

"No. This is his fault, why shouldn't he feel like shit?"

"And you think I don't?" I asked in a hushed voice, my voice had been scratchy from not speaking in a long while.

Jacob snorted and shook his head. "I always knew you'd end up breaking her heart"

I blinked as tears came to my eyes but kept my stare focused on my cell phone.

"Em, I think it's time you call Charlie" Jasper whispered.

Emmett continued to pace as he called Bella's cell phone repeatedly.

"Come on, Bells," he pleaded into the phone. "Please call me back. Let me know you're ok. Don't fucking do this"

I watched as he hung up the phone and hit redial.

"Ok, we just have to think," Jacob's girlfriend stated. "Where does she hang out?"

"She hangs out with all of us," Alice answered. "If it's not here, it's at our house."

"Does she have anywhere she goes to get away? To think, maybe?"

"Whenever she wants to get away, she reads or draws. And that is mostly in her room," Emmett mumbled.

My knee stopped bouncing and my heart stopped. There was one place she said had always made her feel better and helped to clear her head.

"Fuck," I breathed out.

Everyone looked over at me.

"I know where she is," I whispered.

Everyone started to speak at once but I just jumped up and ran towards the front door. Just as I stepped out onto the porch I heard my name being called and turned around. Emmett was standing there looking at me.

I had never seen him look so worried in my life.

"I'm gonna go get her. I know where she is, I promise," I told him.

He nodded his head and I ran to my car. I had driven faster then I ever had in my entire life and made it to the woods that lead to our meadow in less then ten minutes.

My heart pounded in my chest when I saw Emmett's jeep and jumped out.

"Bella!" I yelled and looked in the jeep.

I cursed when there was no sign of her.

I cupped my hands over my mouth and yelled out her name again but was met with nothing but silence. I grabbed the flash light out of my trunk and ran through the woods towards our meadow.

I shined the light over every possible surface but didn't see her anywhere. I started to panic again when I reached the edge of the meadow.

"Bella!" I yelled.

"Edward?"

I snapped my head towards the right to see Bella coming out of the woods with her own flash light.

"Bella!" I screamed and ran over to her.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she cried out as we made contact.

I yanked her into my arms and squeezed her to my chest.

"Fuck, Bella" I breathed out.

She started to sob in my arms as she continued to repeat she was sorry.

I pulled back and took her head in my hands and looked her over.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt?" I asked as I examined her closely.

She shook her head and told me she was sorry again.

"Stop apologizing, love," I whispered to her and kissed her forehead. "You did nothing wrong. It was me. Bella... you have to know..."

"No," she started, cutting me off. "It's mine. I'm sorry I ran. I know nothing happened, I shouldn't have run like that."

I searched her face and my heart soared.

I felt tears stream down my face.

"How? How did you find out I didn't do it?"

Bella gave me a smile as her eyes shined with tears. "I didn't"

My brows scrunched together in confusion.

"I just realized I already knew," she whispered.

I grabbed her face and slammed my lips against hers. I felt as she wrapped her arms around me and couldn't help but pull her closer.

When oxygen had become an issue, we pulled apart. I placed my forehead against hers and shook my head.

"There's no one else, Bella. There never will be." I put my hands in her hair and made her look up at me. "I love you, so fucking much. I'm so sorry"

"I love you, too. I'm sorry I ran," she whispered.

I shook my head and kissed her forehead. "I should have told you about the gifts. I should have known she wouldn't listen and come to the party anyway."

"Listen?" Bella asked, confused.

"I'll explain. But we should get back, you have everyone really worried"

Bella's eyes went wide. "I didn't mean to worry anyone! I didn't even realize you guys would be looking for me!"

I chuckled. "Of course we would be. Did you think that we would just let you leave?"

I put my arm around her waist as we turned and started to walk back towards the woods.

Bella shrugged. "I figured everyone just assumed I went home."

I nodded my head. "They did, but when we went there to see if you were ok and you weren't there, we all began to panic."

Bella began to ask a question when she tripped. I caught her before she fell and chuckled when she let out a growl.

"Here, take this," I told her and handed her my flashlight.

As soon as she grabbed the flashlight, I scooped her up into my arms, bridal style, causing her to squeal out.

I kissed her again on her lips and leaned my forehead against her.

"I love you, Bella"

She placed one of the flashlights in her lap before she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I love you" she whispered.

I started to walk us back towards the cars when she asked if Emmett was mad.

"No, love. He's worried. You could have at least answered your phone"

"My phone is in my bag that's in your room," she stated.

I shook my head. "Of course it is."

When we reached the cars, I placed Bella down. She pulled the lanyard off of her neck that was holding Emmett's keys and started to walk towards his jeep.

"If you think I'm going to let you drive back after I just spent two hours searching for you, you are out of your mind."

"What about his car?"

I looked at his jeep and then back at my car. "Let's leave mine. I'll come back and get it tomorrow."

Bella nodded her head and I made my way to the driver side of the jeep but stopped when she called my name.

"Can we talk before we head back? I'm going to have to deal with everyone once we get back and I don't want to have to put this off any longer."

I ran my hand through my hair. I didn't want to prolong our talk, either, but I knew Emmett was going crazy.

"Yeah, but you have to call your brother so he doesn't start ripping Fork's apart"

* * *

><p>"I promise, Em... I know... I'm really sorry... We'll be back soon; we're just going to talk for a little bit..."<p>

I leaned against my car with my hands in my pockets as I listened to Bella talk to her brother. I thanked who ever was listening that everything had turned out ok and Bella was unharmed. I thanked them even more for the fact that Bella believed me.

"I love you, too... Ok... bye"

Bella ended her call and walked back over to me.

"Everything ok?"

She nodded and handed me my cell. "He's upset that I disappeared but glad I'm ok. He asked me if I wanted him to kill you."

I snorted. I had no doubt that he could, I could feel how swollen my nose was and my head throbbed from when he punched me again after everyone left.

"What did you tell him?"

"That the jury was still out," she said with a smile.

I shook my head with a small smile. I noticed her shiver and suggested we get in the car to keep warm. I made sure my car was locked since I was leaving it before we go into Emmett's jeep. I started it up and waited to turn on the heat until it warmed up.

I turned on the interior light so that we could see each other better but instantly regretted it.

"Holy shit! What happened to your face?" She cried out as she took my head in her hands.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it"

"Edward! Your nose is about twenty times too big and you have two black eyes!"

I winced at her description. I had known it would be bad, but had been afraid to actually look in the mirror.

"It's really fine, love," I tried to explain.

"It's not! Who...?" She gasped. "Did Emmett do this to you?"

"He's your brother," I defended.

"I'm going to kill him!" She cried out.

I grabbed her wrists and took her hands away from my face.

"He was just looking out for you. I don't blame him. I'm not even mad at him. I would have done no less for Alice"

She huffed and looked over my face one more time.

"Did he have to hit the nose though? Your nose was so cute," she whined causing me to chuckle.

Her fingertips lightly touched under my left eye and I had to hold back my urge to flinch.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not so much," I lied.

She pressed her lips together and rolled her eyes before she mumbled something about stupid tough guy act.

We both sat there in silence for a couple more minutes before Bella spoke.

"I should probably start."

I looked over to see that she had turned to face me in the passenger seat with her one leg up and her other on the ground.

"If you want..."

Bella sighed and looked me in the eye. "I'm really sorry"

"Bella..." I started as I shook my head but she cut me off.

"No. No matter what you say, I do have to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run like that. I decided I trusted you a long time ago, Edward, and I can't just keep taking that back."

"But I know how it looked, I don't blame it."

Bella nodded her head. "It did look bad... really bad."

I flinched.

"But I know you, and I believe in us. I should have remembered that," she sighed again and ran her hand through her hair.

It was still slightly curled and she still had on that amazing dress.

"You should have told me about the gifts she was leaving you"

I nodded.

"I know," I mumbled.

"Why didn't you?"

I ran my hand through my hair and shrugged my shoulders.

"At first, I thought she would take the hint and just stop. But then she didn't and I just didn't want you to get upset over something that meant nothing."

Bella nodded. "I understand, but you still should have told me. Start from the beginning."

I let out a huff and began to explain to her everything Tanya had ever left me. I tensed when I got to the card and rose.

"I figured that one out of my own when I was thinking earlier," Bella admitted.

She looked me in the eye and said, "That's not ok, either."

"I know," I mumbled.

I told her everything up until the last gift she had found. She just shook her head.

"There's something really wrong with her"

I snorted. "You're telling me."

"And it was just the blow job that happened between you two? Nothing else?"

"That's it! No texts, no late night conversations. She blew me, that's it."

I looked over and expected to see Bella flinch but she just nodded. It was like I was looking at a completely different person. She wasn't shy or insecure, but confident and strong.

"I always did tell you it was going to come back to haunt you one day," she stated with a smirk.

I groaned and leaned my head back causing her to giggle.

"Tell me what happened tonight" she said after a couple of seconds of silence.

I turned towards her and mirrored her position.

"When you left this morning, I was pissed. I was... _am_... tired of Tanya getting in between us and decided to put an end to it. I called her and told her off. I basically told her she had no shot with me, I loved you, and she needed to leave me the fuck alone."

"What did she say?"

"She really didn't say anything. I was too busy yelling at her for her to get many words in... Oh! She did ask about the party."

"You're kidding me?"

I chuckled. "No. I told her if she set foot near my house I would call the cops."

"So you didn't know she was there?" Bella asked.

"No! Not at all! If I had, I would have kicked her out," I stated, firmly. "Did you think I knew?"

She looked out the window.

"At first... maybe... It's kind of hard to know what I was thinking at the time, but deep down I knew you didn't know."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"What did she say to the cop thing?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. I hung up before she had a chance to respond and didn't receive a call back."

"That's a shocker!"

I shook my head. "I know. After that, I completely forgot about her."

"What were you being so weird about in the kitchen? I saw you keep looking at the clock and the doorway every couple seconds then you just jumped up and left..."

I could feel my cheeks heat up and looked down at my hands.

"I was waiting to get the ok to give you your last birthday present."

"What?"

"Yeah. Jasper and Emmett were in on it, too. They were going to do it for Alice and Rosalie. Jasper's cousin helped put it together for us and I was waiting for him to give me the signal that everything was ready. When I jumped up it was because he had poked his head in the door way and told me it was ready."

"You were so nervous..."

I laughed and leaned my right side of my head on the seat. "I was at first... but then I got excited. I really wanted to give it to you. When I ran out of the kitchen, I told Jasper to get Emmett and to get ready real quick while I ran upstairs to get ready."

A small smile played on her lips. "Get ready for what?"

"Your present."

She bit her lip and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you going to tell me what it was?"

I grabbed her hand in mine and brought it to my lips. "Maybe later."

She nodded and I couldn't help the extreme joy I felt when she intertwined my fingers with her own.

"Then what happened?"

"Then I ran upstairs and went into the bathroom. I fixed my hair and unbuttoned my shirt to go with "the look" as your brother put it"

Bella's face turned into amusement but she didn't say anything.

"When I was finished I had to go to the bathroom. But I never got a chance because she slammed into the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. Knocked me back so hard I almost fell into the tub."

"So that's why your pants were undone"

"Yeah. I was midzip. Anyway, I didn't realize it was her at first because I couldn't see her face. I offered her a rag that was when she looked up."

Bella rubbed her thumb over my knuckles to let me know it was ok to continue.

"I freaked. I screamed at her for being there and told her she needed to get the fuck out. And the rest is history..."

"I heard you like... groan... though?"

I scrunched my face together in confusion before I remembered. "I grabbed her by her arms and lifted her, I was going to take her to the door, and I didn't care if I had to drag her. But as soon as I lifted her up her face turned this weird green color and she started to gag again. When I let her go she fell and puked in the toilet again. It was fucking nasty."

Bella giggled.

"I know how it looked," I whispered as I cupped her face. "But I would never do that to you, Bella. Never!"

She smiled and leaned into my hand. "I know. I'm sorry for how I reacted. My emotions have been crazy the past couple days."

I rubbed her cheek. "I understand."

She turned her head and kissed my palm.

"It's probably going to be a rough couple days when we get back to school" I whispered.

Bella shook her head. "No it won't. I don't care what anyone has to say. I know you didn't do anything. Let them think what they want"

I was speechless. Since the beginning of our relationship I had tried to get Bella to think that way and it seemed like she never could. But in that moment, it seemed like she finally decided to believe in something.

And that something was us.

I tightened my grip on her face and pulled her to me to kiss her. I ran my hands through her hair as she gripped my face. After a couple seconds of uncomfortable making out over the jeep's center counsel, Bella quickly sat up and straddled my lip.

I groaned when she sat down in my lap and gripped her ass. She grinded down against my growing erection and pulled at my hair.

Her lips left my own to travel down my neck. I let my head fall back as she nipped and sucked on my neck.

"Fuck," I moaned out when her hands left my hair to unbutton my shirt.

I grabbed her face and brought her back to my face and slammed my lips to hers. I sucked her tongue into my mouth and my eyes rolled into the back of my head when she grinded against me again.

When she reached for my belt I bunched her dress up around her waist.

The rational thought of my brain was telling me I should stop, ask her if she was sure, but the horny side of my brain, which was pretty fucking huge, was telling me to keep my mouth shut.

I opened my mouth, when my rational side rang out again, but when Bella put her hand in my pants and gripped my dick, rational ran the fuck away.

I quickly put my hand in between her legs, moved her panties away and slammed my fingers into her.

"Fuck, baby, you're so wet," I moaned.

Bella nodded. "I want you, Edward."

I groaned before we both moved to slide my pants down my leg. I moved her panties aside again and slammed into her.

"Shit!" Bella cried out and threw her head back.

It was the hottest fucking thing I had ever seen.

I sucked on her neck as she rode me. She felt amazing and I had to concentrate on not embarrassing myself.

"Oh god, Edward!" She moaned out.

"You feel so good, baby... so good" I mumbled.

Bella yanked on my hair, causing my head to lift towards her. She brought her lips to my own and sucked my tongue into her mouth.

I pulled away in just enough time to see Bella slam her right hand on the window, her left hand on the ceiling and throw her head back as she moved faster on top of me.

I grabbed her ass and helped her move faster.

"That's it... fuck yes... cum for me, Bella," I moaned.

Bella moaned out loudly as I felt her tighten around my cock. I tried to hold back but she felt too good.

I pulled her close to me, leaned my forehead against her collarbone and grunted out my release.

Bella slumped into my lap and we both sat, panting, and basking in the glow.

I rubbed small circles on her lower back and kissed her forehead.

"Wow. That's really a great stress reliever."

I chuckled. "It helps, yeah."

Bella lifted her head and smiled up at me. I moved her hair away from her sweat soaked forehead and just looked at her.

I couldn't remember the last time I saw her so relaxed and so... happy.

"I love you," she whispered.

I smiled and responded, "As I love you."


	25. Chapter 25

**I love every single one of you. You guys seriously are the best I could ask for!**

**unBETA'd cause I like to live on the wild side ;) lol**

**MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE END :)))**

**BD2 PROMO HAS STARTED! AHHH ! Can't wait!**

**I own a cat named Edward, just not the actual person :(**

* * *

><p>I pulled my knees up to my chest as I felt a shiver go down my spine.<p>

I honestly couldn't remember how I had gotten to the meadow; I just knew it was where I was headed when I parked Emmett's jeep.

I squeezed my eyes shut as the flashes of what I had just seen at the party flashed through my mind.

I should have stayed.

I should have demanded to know what the hell was going on. But the tears and hurt blinded my judgment and I just ran.

I was always running, and I was fucking tired of it.

My birthday had been absolute shit and it seemed like everything was going to shit with it.

And Edward...

I flinched at his name.

Did he know Tanya was at the party?

Did he invite her to the party?

Was she the reason he was so jumpy?

Did he tell me to go outback so he could be with her?

Did I really walk in on her giving him a blowjob?

A million questions were running through my head but with every question, I could only come up with one answer.

No.

I knew Edward, inside and out. He would have never hurt me that way. It wasn't just because he was my boyfriend… he was family.

Even if we had never gotten together, Edward would have gladly killed anyone that would have even attempted to hurt me.

So why did I run?

I ran my hands through my hair and let out a sigh. The past couple days had been some of the most emotional of my life and I didn't want to deal with them anymore.

I hated myself for what I did at the party, when what I had really wanted to do, was kick the shit out of Tanya, then smack my boyfriend for being stupid enough to believe that ignoring the situation would just make it go away.

I leaned back against the tree and started to think.

Edward had said she had been sending gifts to him for a while, so how did I not see something going on?

I started to think back on how he had been acting the weeks before and started to pinpoint certain times that stuck out in my mind.

There was the time at school when I walked into the lunchroom to see Edward standing there with a confused look on his face and Tanya was walking behind him. I didn't want to be the 'pushy' girlfriend and ask him if he talked to her, so I just asked if he was ok, figuring he would have told me if she had tried to speak to him. But he didn't say anything about it and told me he was fine.

I believed him.

There was the time the bitchy girls in school, mainly Jessica and Lauren, tried to tell me they had seen Edward at Tanya's locker one day after his football practice, putting something inside, but I just blew them off. I had meant to ask him about it, but that was the night I had given him the blow for the first time and it had completely slipped my mind.

There was also the time I had walked up to his locker when he was standing there. I couldn't tell what he had been doing since he was hidden behind the open door, but I could see he was holding a rose. When I asked him about it he jumped, shoved something in his locker, which, at the time, I had thought might have been birthday present he was trying to hide, and handed me the rose.

I shook my head and pushed down my anger.

If that rose was from Tanya, that shit was not ok, either, and we would talk about it.

I squeezed my eyes shut again.

That was if he would talk to me after I had just ran away like that.

I knew I hadn't thought it completely through yet and people would say there could be a possibility that he had gone with her at the party.

But I just _knew_ there wasn't. I couldn't even_ think_ about even thinking there was. It was all one big, fucked up, situation that had gotten blown out of proportion and I had no doubt in my mind that Tanya was behind it all.

I had no doubt she had planned the whole thing and me walking in had only made it that much sweeter for her.

I wanted to punch her face in and rip that blonde hair out of her plastic head.

Why couldn't she take a fucking hint? Get over it, he didn't want her.

And fucking Jessica stumbling up to tell me that shit, why couldn't _anyone_ take a hint?

Edward and I were together.

End of fucking story.

They _all_ needed to get the fuck over it.

I was done taking all of their shit. They had come in between Edward and me for the last fucking time. Let them talk, let them whisper; let them say whatever the fuck they wanted and think whatever the fuck they wanted.

I didn't care. I loved Edward and he loved me. I knew that, I believed that, and that was all that mattered.

I shot up and wiped my bottom off as I grabbed for my flashlight.

First, I had to make things right with Edward. I had to apologize to him for running like that.

My emotions had been all over the place and, if I really thought about it, the reason I ran was because I was just looking for something else to go wrong. So when the opportunity presented itself, I took it.

Childish, I know. But I prayed that he would at least give me the chance to explain.

I started towards the exit. My heart was pounding and I had new emotions going through me. One, obviously, was fear. Fear that Edward wouldn't listen to me, and tell me that he had enough of me not believing him, but the other, and most dominate one, was peace.

Peace at finally being able to say fuck everyone that ever doubted me and wanted to see me fail, not just with Edward, but with everything in life, because what they thought did not matter.

I stopped walking when I heard a noise and my body tensed.

I knew coming out into the meadow at such a late hour, by myself, was not a smart idea, but I chalked it up to not thinking clearly.

I would have to listen to some major bitching from Edward and Emmett if they ever found out. When I heard the noise again, I backed up into the woods a little more and covered my light.

It was probably an animal just passing through, but it was better to be safe then sorry. I heard another tree branch break and cursed myself for not having my cell phone.

Yeah, everyone was still at the party and probably wouldn't have heard their phones, but I could have continued to try and call until someone eventually picked up. And they would have, especially when they saw it was me.

Everyone had probably assumed I went home to cool off some steam and they were trying to give me the space I needed, but if I had called, they would have came running.

My friends were pretty fucking awesome.

My head snapped up when I heard my name being called.

"Edward?" I whispered to myself and walked out of the woods into the meadow.

I looked around and saw him at the other side looking around with a flashlight. He yelled my name again.

"Edward?" I called out to him.

He ran right to me and I couldn't help the raw emotion I felt. I apologized to him over and over as I sobbed in his arms.

Seeing him had actually brought the fear of losing him to light and I couldn't contain it any longer. I explained to him that I knew nothing happen and his face flashed with relief before it turned into confusion.

When he asked me how I found out he didn't do it, I smiled through my tears.

"I didn't," I responded. "I just realized I already knew."

He pulled me in for a kiss and I felt my knees grow weak at the passion that was behind it. Edward was literally pouring all of his love and devotion into that one kiss and I responded with equal fever.

When we pulled apart, he leaned his forehead against my own and shook his head.

"There's no one else, Bella. There never will be," he whispered as he made me look him in the eye. "I love you, so fucking much. I'm so sorry."

* * *

><p>"Promise me your ass will be home the <em>second<em> you two are done talking and you won't leave Edward's sight!" My brother hissed into the phone.

"I promise, Em."

"Do you know how fucking stupid it was to go there alone at night? What if something had happened?"

"I know," I mumbled as I kicked a rock on the ground.

I heard him sigh before he whispered, "I was so scared. If anything ever happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do with myself, Bells."

Tears pricked my eyes and I felt twenty times worse then I already had.

I hadn't meant to make anyone worry. I had honestly thought that they all had figured I just went home and I would talk when I was ready.

I should have known better.

"I'm really sorry" He sighed again and asked me how long we would be. "We'll be back soon; we're just going to talk for a little bit."

"Good. Maybe he can explain what the fuck happened tonight since he refused to tell any of us."

My brows went together. "What do you mean?"

"He said that the first person he needed to explain it to was you and that it was none of our business to know."

I bit my lip and looked over at Edward. He was leaning against his car with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the ground. I couldn't help but feel even better that he had decided to wait until he spoke with me until he told everyone.

"He's kind of right, Em."

Emmett huffed. "I know he's right, doesn't mean I don't like it," he paused. "Do you want me to kill him?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, I don't want you to kill him, Emmett."

I heard him grumble and told him I would talk to him later.

"Fine... I love you, Bells."

"I love you, too."

"I'll see you when you get home."

"Ok... bye"

I hung up the phone and started over towards Edward. He asked me how the phone call was and when I told him Emmett asked if I wanted to kill him, he snorted. I joked with him and told him I had said that the jury was still out.

After that, we got into Emmett's jeep and put the heat on so we could talk. I didn't want to prolong it any longer. Things had to be said, questions had to be asked and I wasn't letting anything else get in the way.

But when he turned on the interior light, my jaw dropped and my eyes went wide.

"Holy shit!" I screamed as I grabbed his face. "What happened to your face?"

His nose was swollen and both of his eyes were black and blue. I could also see faint traces of blood from under his nose and his lip was split.

He told me it was nothing but I wasn't buying it. Someone's face didn't just magically become that way. When I continued to push and he refused to tell me was when it clicked.

"Did Emmett do this to you?"

"He's your brother" he defended and I saw red.

What right did he have to attack Edward without even knowing the facts of what happened? Was he some kind of wild animal?

"I'm going to kill him!" I cried out.

Edward grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands away. "He was just looking out for you. I don't blame him," I looked at him like he was crazy. "I'm not even mad at him."

I yanked my hands away and turned towards the front.

"I would have done no less for Alice," he explained.

I huffed because I knew he was right. Emmett never started fights unless he had a reason too and would never full on attack someone without a good enough reason, either. I looked over at his face again and pouted at his nose.

"Did he have to hit the nose though? Your nose was so cute."

Edward chuckled as I lightly brushed my fingertips under his eye. I asked him if it hurt and he told me no.

I shook my head and mumbled, "Always have to go with the stupid tough guy act."

We fell into a silence before I broke the ice and started the conversation. I began with apologizing to him for everything and telling him everything I had come to realize and how I felt about the situation. I asked him why he didn't tell me about the gifts, and when he was done explaining himself, I told him to tell me everything.

I was prepared for the feeling of hurt and doubt to follow with every word he spoke, but there were none. I listened as he explained each time Tanya had done something and all I felt was my anger towards Tanya grow and a complete and utter understanding of what he was explaining to me.

When he had gotten to the rose, I told him I had figured that one out on my own and expressed to him that that wasn't ok, either. He agreed and we both sat in silence again.

"There's something really wrong with her."

Edward snorted and said, "I know."

"And it was just the blow job that happened between you two? Nothing else?"

It was the first time I could actually talk and think about the situation and not feel sick to my stomach. I had accepted Edward's past and knew he wasn't like that anymore.

When he confirmed that was it, I started to wonder what was really wrong with Tanya. Edward had made no promises to her. He hadn't whispered sweet nothings in her ear to get her to go with him. If anything, she had been all too willing to do what she did. Yes, Edward had been a whore back then, but he didn't promise her anything. Didn't tell her they would be together after, so why would she go to this great length for someone she had fooled around with once?

I told him to explain to me what happened at the party and he told me about the phone call. I was shocked to hear that even after he yelled at her she still asked about the party. That girl had serious mental problems. He confirmed that he didn't know she had been there until it was too late and asked me if I thought he did.

I looked out the window when I responded.

"At first... maybe... It's kind of hard to know what I was thinking at the time, but deep down I knew you didn't know."

He continued to explain and when he told me he was nervous because he wanted to give me my last birthday present, I was shocked. He said he had been nervous at first, but then he had been excited and ran out to go get ready.

"Get ready for what?"

He smiled and said, "Your present."

I pushed a piece of strand behind my ear and asked him if he was going to tell me what it was. He said maybe later and I wanted to push it more, but we had to finish our conversation. I listened as he told me he had been going to the bathroom when Tanya slammed through the door and threw up.

He had been just as shocked as me to see her there and demanded that she leave. Me walking up just as she finished throwing up the second time was just bad timing. He repeated that he would never to do that to me and I apologized again for running.

When he mentioned school, I told him exactly how I felt. How I didn't what they had to say or what they would think. They were no longer my concern. He pulled me in for a kiss after that which I readily responded too.

But after a couple minutes, I couldn't ignore the fire that was building inside of me. It wasn't just of want for Edward, because I always wanted him. No, this had been something completely different.

Something carnal.

I wanted to mark him.

I wanted him to know that he was mine.

I wanted to show him that he belonged to me just as much as I belonged to him.

It only took seconds for our groping to begin once I had straddled his lap and I couldn't help the loud moan that had escaped my throat when he put his fingers inside of me.

"Fuck, baby, you're so wet"

I nodded and whispered in his ear, "I want you, Edward"

I cursed when seconds later he was inside of me. When we had had sex the first time, he was on top, but with me on top, it was a whole new experience.

I felt fuller and felt him deeper. I could also feel my bundle of nerves rub against his pelvic bone and it all felt amazing. I didn't want the pleasure to end.

But minutes later, we both screamed out our release before I melted into his arms.

* * *

><p>We pulled into the gas station and Edward parked next to one of the pumps.<p>

"You need anything from inside?"

I wiggled in my seat and grimaced. I could feel the evidence of our love making leaking out of me and it wasn't exactly comfortable.

"I'm actually going to run to the bathroom real quick."

Edward's eyebrow went up in question. "Have to go that bad?"

I bit my lip. "Not exactly," when he continued to stare I rolled my eyes. "I just want to… clean up… a little that's all."

Realization hit Edward and his eyes went wide.

"Shit! We didn't use a condom!"

I looked at him confused before I remembered that he never knew I had been on birth control.

"Edward, relax," I told him.

I could almost see the million thoughts that had been going through his head at that moment. His face was pale and his mouth kept opening and shutting.

"We have nothing to worry about. I'm on birth control."

Edward looked taken back.

"What?" he asked confused.

I felt my cheeks go red as I looked down at my lap.

"I've been on birth control since I got my first period."

"What?"

I looked up and saw Edward had a shocked look on his face.

"It's not uncommon for girls to go on birth control when they get their periods to regulate them," I explained.

Edward's shocked expression turned to confusion. He sat back and looked out the window.

"How did I not know about this?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't make it a habit of telling the men in my life I was on birth control."

"Your dad doesn't know?" I looked at him like he was crazy. "So how did you get them?"

I bit my lip and looked down at my lap. "I went with your mom and Alice."

Edward snapped his head over to me. "My sister is on birth control, too?"

My eyes went wide.

"I didn't say that!" I rushed out. "I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back!"

I jumped out of the car and ran off before he could stop me. Alice would have killed me if she had found out I told Edward she was on birth control. That was if Edward didn't kill her first.

I used the bathroom and cleaned myself up. As I walked out and back to the jeep, I couldn't help but think about everything that had happened in the last couple hours and feel grateful that Edward and I had over come it.

Couples went through struggles every day, most of them, worst then ours had been, but it had been the worst so far, and we made it through.

A girls voice broke me out of my thoughts and I stopped walking when I looked up. Leaning against Lauren Mallory's car was Jessica, Mike, and _Tanya_.

My jaw locked and my fists clenched.

Mike was the first one that spotted me.

"Bella! What are you doing here?"

Tanya looked over at me and she actually looked a little frightened.

I took a deep breath and turned to walk away. I was not going to let them get to me.

"Beellllaaa," Jessica slurred out, causing me to stop. "How's Edward? Tanya said he was pretty good."

I looked over and watched Tanya slapped Jessica's arm as she continued to giggle.

My decision was made. The time for walking away had been over.

I stomped over to the car. As I got closer, I noticed Tanya's face. Rosalie had definitely left her mark.

"Bella..." Tanya started. "I didn't mean for you to..."

But she never got to finish her sentence. My fist connected right with her face and though a pain had shot through my hand, I had never felt more joy in my life.

Tanya cried out as she slumped against the car and Mike and Jess backed up.

"Tell them the truth," I hissed through clenched teeth.

Tanya held her face and screamed out, "You crazy bitch!"

I grabbed her by her hair and punched her again.

"I'm crazy?" I yelled out. "What about you? Sending notes and gifts to _my_ boyfriend even_ after_ he _ignored them all_! Then showing up to a party he told you _not_ to come to! You're the crazy one you pathetic bitch!"

I pulled back my fist and continued to punch her, repeatedly.

I had never been a violent person. I had been raised to believe that violence was never the answer, but fuck, if it didn't feel good.

I didn't stop until I felt an arm go around my waist and pull me back.

"Love, stop," I heard Edward whisper into my ear.

My heart was pounding and I had been panting.

"What the hell happened?" Lauren asked as she walked up.

Tanya kneeled on the ground as she cried and clutched her head.

"Tell them the truth!" I yelled.

"The truth is your boyfriend cheated, get over it!" Jessica yelled.

Edward had loosened his grip on my waist when I had stopped punching Tanya so I lunged for Jessica and smirked as my fist connected with her face.

"Shit!" Edward cursed as he yanked me back again.

"He didn't," Tanya mumbled from the ground.

We all looked over at her. She sniffled and wiped the blood from her nose.

"Edward called me earlier and told me not to come to the party. He yelled at me and told me to leave him alone. I went anyway," she shrugged.

We all stayed quiet as she stood.

"I went up to follow Edward to talk to him and try to convince him we'd be good together…" I heard Edward snort from behind me. "But that last shot hit me and I threw up. We didn't do anything." Tanya looked at me. "You just walked in at the wrong time and I took the opportunity."

"I know," I stated.

Tanya looked at my confused. "How?"

"Because I trust him," I snapped. "He loves me."

We all stood there in silence. The only sounds that were heard had been Jessica's sniffles and the cars that were driving by on the street.

"Let's get out of here," Edward whispered in my ear before he kissed my temple.

I nodded my head and looked Tanya right in the eye. "Don't even _think_ about coming near me, my family, my friends, or my boyfriend _ever_ again. Do you understand me?"

Tanya nodded and looked down at the ground. I looked around at the others. Mike stood there with a shocked, but had an amused look on his face, Jessica held her cheek as she cried and Lauren stood there with her mouth open.

I felt Edward tug on my waist and finally followed him. My heart continued to pound but I felt the adrenaline start to fade and my fists started to sting. All I wanted to do was go home and go to bed.

I was just about to open the passenger door on the jeep when I was whipped around and pushed against the side. Before I could get a word out, Edward slammed his lips onto mine and I moaned with I felt his tongue massage my own.

His hands had a firm grip in my hair that left me little room for movement. I grabbed his face and hooked my right leg around his waist. He pushed his lower half into mine and I felt his arousal push against me.

Edward groaned and kissed my top lip, then my bottom lip, before he pulled away.

"That…" he panted. "…Was the _sexiest_ fucking thing I have ever seen!"

When my brows went together in confusion he continued, "You beating her ass... defending me... defending _us_... sticking up for yourself... _fuck_... baby, that was so sexy."

I bit my lip to hide my smile. "You have some weird tastes, Cullen."

He smirked and shook his head. "You have no idea, Swan."

Edward kissed me again but stopped when we heard his cell phone ring from inside of the jeep.

"That's probably Emmett. We should get back, he's probably freaking out." I mumbled against his lips.

Edward nodded, kissed my forehead and told me to get in the jeep while he pumped the gas. I called Emmett back and explained to him that we were on our way, we had stopped for gas, and we would see him soon. He grumbled about killing Edward then hung up.

As soon as Edward got into the car, I intertwined my fingers with his and smiled when he brought my hand up and kissed my bruised knuckles.

For the first time in our entire relationship, I had no fear that something would rip us apart. I knew we would make it.

"We can not tell Emmett what we did in his jeep, he'll cut my dick off," Edward stated in a serious tone which caused me to giggle.

* * *

><p>By the time we had pulled up to my house, I could barely keep my eyes open. It seemed like all the adrenaline had drained from my body and I felt like I weighed about a thousand pounds. The mere thought of having to walk up to my room had me groaning.<p>

"Love, we're here," I heard Edward whisper as he ran a finger down my cheek.

I hadn't even realized he had gotten out of the car and had come over to the passenger side, let alone open the door.

"Mmm," came out of my mouth and Edward laughed.

"Do you want me to carry you?"

_God, more then anything._

But I shook my head and moved to get out of the car. I knew Emmett had already been worried and if he saw Edward carrying me, he'd freak. I took a step out of the jeep and lost my footing but luckily, Edward was there to catch me.

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry you? You're even more clumsy when you're tired, baby."

I threw him a dirty look.

"I'm fine. I don't need Emm…"

"Bella!" I heard Emmett yell, cutting me off.

I looked up to see him rushing out of our front door. Edward unwrapped his arms from me just in time for Emmett to pull me into his chest.

"Shit, B!" He breathed out. "Thank God you're ok!"

"I was perfectly safe, Em," I mumbled.

He pulled away but kept his bear hands around my arms.

"Don't ever fucking do that again, do you hear me?" He cried out as he shook me a little.

I opened my mouth to apologize but he cut me off again.

"Do you know how incredibly stupid that was? What if someone had saw you go in there alone? What if the followed you? What if a pack of wolfs attacked you? What if…"

"Em!" I cried out. "No one did and they didn't…"

He let out another huff and slammed me back to his chest. His arms were wrapped so tightly around me that it had began to hurt, but I didn't say anything. My brother needed the reassurance. We stood like that for about another minute before I pulled away.

"I'm fine, Emmett. Really," I assured him.

His eyes continued to rake over my body to double check and I had to hold back my chuckle.

"What the fuck happened to your hands?" Emmett yelled.

I winced. I had forgotten that they had started to swell already and one had a cut from Tanya or Jessica's tooth, I wasn't sure which. I opened my mouth to answer him when our front door opened again.

My jaw dropped before a smiled had formed.

"Jake?" I called out.

I took my hands away from my brother and ran towards Jacob.

"Are you ever going to not make us worry?" He asked with a smile.

I laughed, jumped up, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I hadn't seen Jacob in a couple weeks due to him working and when he hadn't been working, him and Nessie would be spending time together. We had only gotten to have brief conversations about my truck that he had been working on and nothing else.

Our friendship hadn't wavered. Since the day we had spoken at the diner, it was almost like we had never dated. That we had always been best friends and nothing or no one would ever change that.

I loved it.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I pulled away.

"Pixie called me to see if you were with me when they couldn't find you. When I told her you weren't, she told me what happened, so Nessie and I looked around the Rez and talked to a few guys to see if they had seen you, then we came here to help."

"Nessie's here, too?"

I was genially happy. Vanessa was an awesome girl and I loved her to death. I had been worried that no girl out there, no matter what Jake had thought, would have been good enough for him, but I had since changed my thoughts. I often teased Jake of not being good enough for her.

Jake nodded. "She's inside with blondie."

"I want to go say hi," I said as I started to walk away but Jake stopped me.

"Hey, what a second. Are you ok?"

I let out a sigh. "I'm fine. I really didn't mean for you guys to worry, I just went there to think is all. I didn't know this huge thing would happen."

Jake shook his head. "You never will understand how important you are to all of us, will you?'

I blushed and looked down at the ground.

"So, what happened?" Jake asked as he leaned against the railing.

I let out a sigh and brushed my hand through my hair. I had just opened my mouth to answer him when I heard Emmett yell.

"SHE DID WHAT?"

I bit my lip and cringed. Edward must have just told Emmett about my little incident at the gas station. I looked up to see Jake looking at me with an amused face and his eyebrow raised. I let out a groan and sat down on the step.

"It was just a misunderstanding, that's all. And with everything that has happened in the past couple days, I just kind of freaked."

Jake sat down next to me. "They told me about your Mom. I'm sorry, Bells."

I nodded. "I don't know why it surprised me. It's not like she has been much of a mother to me throughout my entire life. Coming to see me once a year doesn't exactly qualify her for mother of the year."

"I know, but she's still your Mom, and it sucks."

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's ok, I'm tough like that."

Jake chuckled and shook his head. I looked up to see Emmett and Edward talking. From the distance, it looked like a normal conversation, but with all that had happened between them earlier in the night, I knew it had to have been a serious one.

"Do you believe he didn't do anything?"

I looked back over at Jake and smiled. "Of course."

He just nodded his head and looked over at Edward and my brother.

"He's not as perfect as you think, Bella."

"I know who he is…"

Jake looked back at me. We stared in each other's eyes for a couple seconds before I spoke again.

"Do you really think he could do something like that to me?'

Jake pressed his lips together and looked back over at Edward before he rolled eyes, threw his arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead.

"No," he replied. "I may not like him, but he's bat shit crazy in love with you."

I giggled.

"I think he knows that he fucked up in the past and won't ever do something to make you question him again."

I nodded. "Me too."

Jake kissed my forehead again and chuckled. I scrunched my face up in confusion.

"What's so funny?"

He chuckled again and shook his head. I gave him a stern look, which caused him to tighten his hold on my shoulders.

"What's funny is the fact that even though he knows you're just as crazy about him as he is with you, I can still make him green with jealousy."

I snapped my head up and looked towards Edward. My eyes went wide when I saw him still talking to Emmett, but his eyes kept moving back to us and every time they did, he would either clench his fists or crack his neck.

I turned back to Jake and punched him in the stomach. He let out a groan as he laughed and removed his arm from around me. I stood up and brushed my bottom off.

"Let's go, funny man. I want to say hi to your better half before I pass out."

* * *

><p><strong>who the hell is as happy as i am that Tanya got her ass beat? hehe Bella's a little spit fire isn't she?!<strong>

**And you know I had to say goodbye to Jake! I couldn't just leave the poor guy without a second thought!**

**Oh, right, major annoucement. ::clears throat::**

**I know I told you all that this would be the last regular chapter and then the epilogue...butttttttt my thought bunnies just wouldn't go away and Edward would not stop leaving me alone! He wants one last say :)) Sooo that means! There will be ONE more regular chapter after this and THEN the epi! yay! hope you guys are excited!**

**reviews=teasers cause i like to give out prizes :)**


	26. Chapter 26

****unBETA'd****

**For pictures for each chapter, add me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, links in my bio!**

****Thank you to Mkystich for the freaking AMAZING Banners she made me so long ago :) you're awesome babe!****

**Oh how I wish Dadward was mine because in BD2 he was Oh so sexy!**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I walked into the gas station and tried to forget about the conversation I just had with Bella.

There was no way my sister was on birth control.

I fucking _refused_ to believe that.

She was a virgin and she would always _be_ a virgin.

And when she had kids it would be because of Inveto or the fucking Immaculate Conception.

Laugh all you fucking want, fuckers, it was the truth.

I walked up to the register and took out my wallet.

"Hey, can I get twenty on two please?" I asked the cashier as I handed him the money.

I had been just about to walk back outside when I heard my name called. I turned around to see Lauren standing behind me. I rolled my eyes, shook my head, and turned back towards the door.

"Edward wait!" she called out as she grabbed my arm.

I stopped and looked at her like she was crazy.

"Have you found Bella? Is she ok?"

She actually sounded genially concerned, but I still had my guard up.

"She's fine… Not that you care"

Lauren let out a sigh and looked down at the water bottle she held before she looked back up at me.

"Yeah, I guess you would think that… Is everything ok? I can talk to her… tell her nothing happened."

I chuckled and crossed my arms. "And why the hell would you do that? To try and get on my good side? I don't need your help, Lauren."

"It has nothing to do with that!" I snorted and Lauren huffed. "Look, I get it. You don't understand. I was just trying to help. I never believed Tanya when she would say all that shit about you and her; I knew it was all bullshit."

I looked at her skeptically.

"Why is that?" I asked.

She chuckled and looked up at me. "Because I'm not blind… I see… We _all_ can see how you look at Bella. Tanya never had a shot."

I raised my eyebrow. "That's why you would all spread rumors around that I was just using her and didn't really want to be with her?"

Lauren flinched and leaned against a cooler. "Not my finest moments, but it all boils down to one thing… jealousy. Everyone was jealous when you started dating Bella, even me."

I tried to keep the shocked look off my face but I didn't do a very good job.

"I don't get it. Why though?" I asked softly.

Lauren gave me an amused smile. "Have you seen yourself?"

I rolled my eyes. "But you all treated her that way before we started dating…"

"Because she always had a part of you that we couldn't touch, sure, we fucked a couple times… but with Bella… Edward, she had you before either one of even knew it. That's why she was treated the way she was."

It didn't piss me off anymore that other people had seen what Bella and I had before we did, I actually found it somewhat funny.

"So she deserved to get treated the way she did?"

"No, she didn't, and I'm really sorry. Can you tell her that for me?"

I looked Lauren over. She seemed to be genuine and even if she wasn't, whatever game she had planned wouldn't work.

"This is shit you need to say to _her_, Lauren. Not me," I said with a sigh.

Lauren nodded her head.

"I figured you'd say that." She stood up fully. "Is everything ok with you guys? I can really talk to her for you."

I smiled and shook my head. "There's no need. She knows I didn't do anything."

"Really? How?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "She just knew."

Lauren smiled and said, "I'm happy for you. It's nice to find somebody that you love and trust and loves and trusts you back."

"Right… I heard about you and Tyler."

Her face completely lit up when I said his name. I had heard rumors that Lauren and Tyler had started seeing each other the month before and I guess it had turned into something serious.

Lauren blushed and nodded.

"Where's Bella at now?" she asked as she put the water bottle on the counter for the cashier.

"She had to go to the bathroom real quick, I was getting some gas."

Lauren's face turned pale as she turned and looked at me.

"What?"

"Jessica and Tanya are with me. They are outside right now."

Before she even finished her sentence, I turned and ran out the door. My eyes nearly jumped out of my head at the scene before me.

Bella had Tanya pinned against a car as she repeatedly punched her.

It was fucking sexy as hell.

I didn't have time to enjoy it, though, because even though Tanya deserved every punch she got, I had to stop her. I ran up and wrapped my arm around her waist before I pulled her away.

I heard Lauren come up behind me and ask what happened. I figured Bella had calmed down enough so I loosened my grip on her and turned to Lauren to explain what happened when I heard Jessica screech something. The next thing I knew, Bella was out of my arms and had thrown a punch at Jessica.

"Shit!" I hissed and launched myself to grab her again.

That time, I kept my grip on her. I opened my mouth to tell her they weren't worth it when Tanya shocked the hell out of all of us and admitted the truth.

"I went up to follow Edward to talk to him and try to convince him we'd be good together…" I fucking snorted at that. She really was fucking insane. "But that last shot hit me and I threw up. We didn't do anything."

She explained to Bella that she had just walked in at the wrong time and looked shocked when Bella said she knew.

"Because I trust him!" Bella snapped. "He loves me."

_Damn right I do._

No body said anything and I decided enough was enough. I didn't want to deal with them anymore.

"Let's get out of here," I whispered in her ear and kissed her temple.

She just nodded and followed me towards the jeep.

* * *

><p>I pulled up to Bella's house and let out sigh as I parked the car. I looked over at her and noticed that she had fallen asleep. It was nice to see her at such a peaceful state after all the hell she had gone through the past couple days.<p>

I let out another sigh and got out of the jeep. I wanted nothing more then to just carry her upstairs up to her room and let her stay in her peaceful state but I knew that wouldn't happen because Emmett would want to speak to her. I carefully opened the passenger door and ran my finger down her cheek.

"Love, we're here"

She made the most adorable sound and I chuckled. I offered to carry her but she shook her head and stepped out of the jeep. She stumbled but I caught her before she could fall.

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry you? You're even clumsier when you're tired, baby."

I smiled at the dirty look she threw me. She started to say something else but interrupted. We both looked over to see Emmett barreling towards us. I let her go just in time for him to pull her into a hug.

I watched them with a smile. I knew I probably should have walked away and let them have their moment, but I wasn't letting Bella out of my sight. I never wanted to feel what I had felt earlier when I couldn't find her, so even if it meant that I would be an annoying leech for a little while, she wasn't getting rid of me.

"Do you know how incredibly stupid that was? What if someone had saw you go in there alone? What if they had followed you? What if a pack of wolfs attacked you? What if..."

I clenched my jaw as I listened to Emmett list of the possible things that could have happened. He was right. That shit _could_ have happened. If anything had happened to Bella...

_No._

I shook those thoughts out of my head. I had found her and she was home with us and safe.

"What the fuck happened to your hands?"

I looked over and winced. I noticed Bella's hands had started to swell on the drive home and she had a cut on one of her knuckles, as well. Emmett was going to shit a fucking brick when she told him what happened.

I shivered and reminded myself not to get turned on again by the memory of Bella beating the shit out of Tanya.

We heard the front door again and I watched the dog walk out. My jaw clenched as Bella ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

I fucking hated that kid.

"You keep clenching your jaw like that you're gonna break a tooth."

I snapped my head over and looked at Emmett who stood there with an amused look on his face. I let out a huff and shook my head.

"Whatever."

I turned away from Bella and the dog but kept watching them from the corner of my eye.

What? I didn't trust that fucker.

Emmett chuckled before he asked, "What happened to her hands?"

I let out a sigh and put my hands in my pockets. I explained to Emmett everything that happened from the moment I had found Bella up until I had ran outside of the gas station and her punching Tanya.

Minus the sex, we had in his jeep, of course.

"SHE DID WHAT?"

He yelled in shock and I chuckled.

"Had her pinned against a car just punching the hell out of her. I had to rip her off her. Then Jessica had something snotty to say and I had let my grip loosen and Bella shot out and punched her in the face."

Emmett looked at me with wide eyes. "No fucking way."

"Right in the jaw," I stated with a nod. "I grabbed her before she could do anymore damage and kept a firm hold on her until we left."

Emmett let out a breath and shook his head. "Fuck. I would have paid to see that shit."

I nodded. "It was pretty entertaining. Tanya was holding her face and crying."

"Did she say anything?"

I looked over to see Bella and Jake sitting next to each other on the steps. Fucker was sitting a little too close for my liking but I kept my mouth shut.

"Tanya admitted nothing happened," Emmett looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Yup… admitted she came to the party knowing I told her not to and she used me being in the bathroom when she had to throw up to her advantage."

"No shit."

I looked over at Jake and Bella and saw him look up at me. I gave him a blank expression before I turned back to Emmett.

"She admitted everything she did. I couldn't believe it. I guess she finally realizes she doesn't have a chance, thank God."

Emmett chuckled and nodded his head. We both stood there for a couple seconds in silence before he spoke again.

"She's my sister," He simply stated as he kept his eyes locked on Bella.

I looked over at him. "I know, Em"

I looked back over just in time to see that fucking_ dog_ put his arm around Bella's shoulder and kiss her forehead.

I cracked my neck and looked back over at Emmett before I did something stupid.

"When I saw her run out crying like that..." He shook his head; his eyes were still on Bella. "She wouldn't even talk to me. It wasn't until I saw you running after her that I went to go find someone to tell me what happened. Then I found Rosalie beating the shit out of Tanya and I just put two and two together."

"You really..."

"I do," he interrupted as he turned and looked me in the eye.

"You've protected my sister… for as long as you've known her, and, yeah, you've done shit, and hurt her in the past, but you never did it intentionally, and you never knew you were doing it. I always knew that if you did, you wouldn't have done it."

He was right. If I had known all the pain I had been causing Bella back then, I would have stopped instantly.

Nothing mattered more than she did.

"That didn't change because you two got together. If anything, it made your protectiveness stronger. Once everything calmed down, I knew you didn't do anything. Just seeing her like that… Then we couldn't find her…" He let out huff and ran his hand through his hair. "Look, what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry. I trusted you with my sister's heart the day you came to me and asked if you could be with her… I should have remembered that."

I looked over at my best friend.

We had been through a lot in all the years that we had known each other, laughter, jokes, parties, arguments, fights, disagreements… but we had never come to _actual_ physical blows.

To me, Emmett was just as much my brother as Alice was my sister, and there was _nothing_ that would _ever_ break that.

I gave him a little smile. "My face isn't made of glass, Em; it's not going to break."

Emmett gave me a look before he nodded his head.

He had never been good with apologizes, a trait he had picked up from his father, so my humor filled answer did two things.

It let him know that everything was ok between us and gave him an out from the awkward situation.

We both exchanged a chuckle before I looked back over at Bella and Jacob. He kissed her forehead again and I clenched my fists.

I saw him laugh and I knew then he was doing it on purpose.

"Dude, the fact that you still let him get to you is hilarious, I'm sorry!" Emmett laughed out.

"Fuck you," I chuckled and shook my head.

Emmett let out another laugh before it went silent again.

"So, ugh, do we hug this out or do the manly handshake?" Emmett asked.

"Manly hand shake," I answered quickly.

"Right," Emmett answered back just as quickly. "That's what I was going to say, too."

I stuck out my right hand out which Emmett engulfed into his immediately. I couldn't tell which one of us initiated it first, but two seconds later, we pulled each other into a hug. We patted each other on the back and he apologized again.

"Don't worry about it," I told him.

The sound of the front door opening in the distance caused us jump and break apart.

I cleared my throat while Emmett straightened his clothes.

"Did you see the game earlier tonight?" Emmett asked as he stretched his arms.

I ran my hand through my hair and rolled my shoulders. "Yeah, it was awesome."

"Badass fights," he stated with a nod, his tone a little deeper then usual.

I nodded and coughed.

We both stood there in awkward silence for a couple seconds for he motioned towards the house and said, "We should probably..."

"Yeah let's go," I agreed and we walked to the house.

When we walked into the house, my eyes immediately searched for Bella. I relaxed when I saw her in the living room giving the dog's girlfriend a hug.

"How was your 'bro-hug'?" Rosalie asked with mock sincere as she walked up to Emmett and me.

I cleared my throat while Emmett bulked up, coughed, and said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She looked back and forth between us in amusement. Before she could make another comment, I walked away and headed over towards my girl. I needed to be as close to her as possible because I knew she was tired and would want to go to bed and I wasn't sure if she would want me to stay or not.

I wanted to, but if she had asked me to leave, I would have listened. Well, in theory I would have. I would have just left and gone home to get a pair of clothes then borrowed Alice's car to come back and spend the night on her porch just to make sure she was safe.

I walked up just as she got finished giving the dog a hug and put my arms around her waist, which caused him to chuckle and kiss his girls temple. Now that everything had calmed down, I remembered that her name was Vanessa.

She actually was a very sweet, pretty girl. She was funny, easy to get a long with, and pretty cool if you asked me. I had no _idea_ what she saw in Jacob. However, I could tell he made her happy because the way she looked at him was the same way Bella looked at me.

"Call me tomorrow and we'll plan something for later on in the week," Vanessa said to Bella who agreed.

"Cullen" Jacob stated.

"Black" I answered back in acknowledgment, which caused both girls to giggle.

"You know it would be nice if you guys could just get along so we could double date every once in a while," Vanessa suggested with a smile.

"It could be fun," Bella agreed.

I snorted at the same time Jacob made some sort of grunting sound, which caused both girls to giggle again.

"Yeah, we figured" Bella stated with a nod.

Vanessa rolled her eyes with a smile and said goodbye to Bella again before she leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I smirked at how he clenched his jaw. He couldn't stand the fact that his girlfriend didn't hate me like he did.

They both walked out and Bella let out a sigh as she let her head fall back onto my chest.

"Tired, love?" I asked as I kissed her forehead.

"Mmhm," she mumbled.

We stood there for a couple more seconds before she lifted her head and my body deflated. I watched as she gave Emmett and Rosalie a kiss goodnight and let out a sigh.

"Can you give me a ride home?" I asked Jasper as he walked by with Alice.

They both looked at my confused before Jasper nodded.

"You're not staying?"

I turned around to see Bella standing behind me, her face filled with hurt. I looked around at everyone then back at Bella.

"I didn't know you wanted me to."

Emmett groaned and walked up the steps with a giggling Rosalie, while Jasper and Alice walked out of the house. Bella's face changed from hurt to amused. She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Let's go to bed," she stated as she turned and walked up the steps.

I chuckled and followed my girl.

* * *

><p>I wiped my hands on my pants for the fiftieth fucking time then ran them through my hair. I smiled at the people that walked by and let out a breath. When the band on the stage finished their performance, a girl that played the cello went on, and then I was up.<p>

I had found out all the information I needed and signed myself up the week before at one of Bella's Art Shows. My hands shook as I signed my name and I might have thrown up in the bathroom afterwards, but I got in my car before I could talk myself out of it.

A couple months had passed since all that shit had gone done on Bella's birthday, and we were stronger then we had ever been.

I always knew Bella loved me, but she always had this look in her eyes, almost as if she was just waiting for me to up and leave.

I hated that look… and her birthday was the last time I saw it.

Gone were the doubts and questions, they were replaced with confidence and the knowing that what we had was _real_, that I wasn't going anywhere, I loved her, and she was all I wanted.

After Jessica had told everyone about Tanya's lies and how Bella had beat her ass, but conveniently left out the part where Bella had punched _her_ in the face, things at school had changed drastically.

There were no longer evil stares in the hallways or whispered lies about me cheating, but actually _envious_ looks and open discussions about the latest 'adorable' thing Bella and I had done. We had somehow turned out to be Forks High School's 'It' couple, much to Bella's dismay, and I had even heard rumors that we had been in the run for Prom King and Queen.

Sure, a few girls still tried to flirt with me or vowed they would _have_ me, whatever the fuck the meant, but Bella would just laugh at them or they would get put in their place by either Rosalie, Alice, or _Lauren_.

That was another shocker, Lauren had become one of Bella's unofficial bodyguards right along side with Rosalie and Alice. She stuck up for Bella if anyone tried to mouth off behind her back and was quick to shoot down any silly ass rumors the few jealous girls had tried to spread right after it all happened.

I didn't know what happened or what was said between Bella and Lauren, all I knew was that that night, as we laid in bed, I told Bella about my conversation with Lauren inside the gas station, and the next day, she received a phone call. They agreed to go out to lunch and three hours later, they _still_ hadn't returned.

I had been just about to call Charlie and tell him to call the FBI and put Lauren's face on America's Most Wanted when they pulled in front of Bella's house laughing their asses off. My jaw fell to the ground as I watched them give each other hug goodbye before Lauren drove away.

When I asked Bella what exactly happened between them, she simply shrugged her shoulders and said, "We understand each other now."

Lauren and Tyler had even come out with all of us a few times.

I looked over at Bella and chuckled when I heard her shocked gasp as of one of the employee's of the show walked over and put a red dot next to her last drawing that had been for sale.

"I sold them all," she whispered as I walked up and put my arms around her waist.

"That still surprises you?"

"I just can't believe people would actually want to pay for something I've done…" I smiled and closed my eyes as I breathed in the scent of her hair while she continued. "I put a price on them just to help with donations for the Charity. I just… wow…"

I chuckled again and kissed her head. "You're very talented, everyone can see that."

She turned in my arms and looked up at me. "I love you."

I smiled. "I love you."

We shared a quick kiss before I heard the announcement that the next artist was about to start. My entire body went tense and Bella looked at me worried.

"Are you ok?"

I forced a smile and nodded. "Of course."

She raised her eyebrow as I took a step back.

"I have a surprise for you" Her face went hard. "You'll like this one."

"You know I don't like surprises."

"You liked Carlie," I reminded her.

Bella rolled her eyes. "What are you up to?"

I looked over her shoulder to see my parents and her father coming back from the refreshment table and took my chance.

"Can your Dad carry all that?"

Bella's eyebrows went together in confusion before she turned and looked behind her. I quickly took off in the other direction. I laughed when I heard her yell 'this isn't over' as I made my way through the crowd of people.

I knew I'd have to hear it for tricking her, but I hoped that what I had planned would give me a free pass.

The butterflies in my stomach started up again hardcore as I approached the door that led to the backstage area and I noticed my hands started to shake again, as well, when I handed the employee my entry ID. He nodded his head and stepped aside.

I gave him a single nod and walked through.

* * *

><p>I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair. My hands were still shaking, they were clammy, and my heart sounded like fucking thunder, but I was determined.<p>

As soon as I heard them announce my name, I stepped out onto the stage.

My eyes stayed to the ground while I walked over to the piano and sat down on the bench. I ran my fingers over the keys and willed my heart to calm down.

I looked up and my eyes immediately met hers.

Then everything went quiet.

My hands stopped shaking, they were no longer clammy, and my heart returned to its normal rate.

I smiled at her wide-eyed expression. The look on her face at that moment made it all worth it.

It was almost like everyone, but Bella and I had disappeared, and we were the only ones in the room as my fingers began to play the first cords of the song.

I chuckled as her jaw dropped right before I leaned forward and started to sing.

_**I'm not a perfect person**_

_**There's many things I wish I didn't do**_

_**But I continue learning**_

_**I never meant to do those things to you**_

_**And so I have to say before I go**_

_**That I just want you to know**_

Through out the entire song I kept my eyes locked on her. I wanted her to know the truth behind each word I sang.

_**I found a reason for me**_

_**To change who I used to be**_

_**A reason to start over new**_

_**And the reason is you**_

Tears came to my eyes as I prepared myself for next verse. I would never be able to be able to able to explain to her how truly sorry I was for what I had done in the past, but I had hoped that I was able to give her an idea.

_**I'm sorry that I hurt you**_

_**It's something I must live with everyday**_

_**And all the pain I put you through**_

_**I wish that I could take it all away**_

_**And be the one who catches all your tears**_

_**That's why I need you to hear**_

My voice started to get choked up during that verse and I had to take a deep breath before the chorus, but my eyes never left Bella.

_**I've found a reason for me**_

_**To change who I used to be**_

_**A reason to start over new**_

_**And the reason is you**_

_**And the reason is you**_

_**And the reason is you**_

_**And the reason is you**_

I watched as she started to walk closer to the stage. In that moment, I had a quick vision of what she might look like as she walked towards me in a white dress and my heart burst with longing for that day.

_**I'm not a perfect person**_

_**I never meant to do those things to you**_

_**And so I have to say before I go**_

_**That I just want you to know**_

Along with the words that I sang, and the music that I played, I tried to convey with my eyes all the love and devotion I felt for her, and how sorry I was for everything I had ever done to her. And if she would let me, I would spend my life making it up to her.

_**I've found a reason for me**_

_**To change who I used to be**_

_**A reason to start over new**_

_**And the reason is you**_

She stood at the rope that blocked the crowd off from the Orchestra that sat in front of the stage with a small smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

_**I've found a reason to show**_

_**A side of me you didn't know**_

_**A reason for all that I do**_

_**And the reason is you**_

I barely heard the crowd as they broke out into applause because my concentration was on Bella alone.

I needed to be with her… touch her… feel her… kiss her.

I pushed myself off the bench and headed towards the steps. I went to go down by was blocked by a group of people that kept asking me questions and kept telling me how talented I was.

Fuck.

I forgot they had told me when I signed up that some local newspapers attended the show and might ask some of us for an interview. But I didn't want to do an interview. I just wanted Bella. I tried to step down but it was almost like they pushed me back.

They wouldn't _fucking_ move!

I looked over to where Bella was only to see that she was trying to get through the crowd, as well, but since there wasn't music playing at the moment, people had started to move again. I looked back down the steps to see if anything had opened up but it was still jammed. The people continued to ask questions just as I jumped off of the stage into the Orchestra pit.

I aplogized as I knocked over instruments, stepped on shoes, and bumped into legs, but I wanted my girl.

I got the end and went under the rope. I looked around until I saw the top of her head peek out from a crowd of people.

"Bella!" I called out.

The crowd suddenly moved away when they realized she had been the girl I was singing to and watched us with interest, but I wasn't paying any attention. Because the second they made room, Bella ran towards me.

When we were together, Bella jumped up, wrapped her arms around my shoulders and her legs around my waist. My left arm went around her waist to support her while my right hand cupped her cheek.

Our lips connected instantly and everything in the world felt that it was the way it should have been. I felt the wetness from her cheecks as I wiped it away with my thumb. The familiar sounds of clicking cameras, people clapping, and women saying 'aw', were heard in the background, but we were oblivious to them all, no one else existed in that moment but us.

"You were amazing!" Bella whispered as we pulled away.

"You approve then?" I asked with a smile.

I still held her up in my arms, I refused to put her down.

She bit her lip and nodded before she gave me another quick kiss as her hands started to play with my hair. "I loved it."

"I love you," I told her with as much honesty as I could muster. "You'll never truly know how much, so I can only hope I can show you."

I rubbed my thumb against her cheek as I stared into her eyes.

"You're my best friend… my girlfriend…" I stopped because that word was almost disrespectful.

I shook my head and started again. "Baby… you _are_ my life, you always have been. I'm sorry it took me so long to see it."

Bella put her hands on my jaw and looked back and forth between my eyes as she firmly stated, "I've always loved you… everyday"

"Everyday with you still wouldn't be long enough," I admitted as she put her forehead against my own.

Because it all honesty, everyday _wouldn't_ be long enough with her.

"Why don't we start with forever?" I suggested.

Bella let out a breathless chuckle and nodded. "Forever and forever and forever"

I lifted my head and kissed her again after I mumbled…

"That sounds exactly right to me"

* * *

><p><strong>::wipes away tears::<strong>

**I can't believe it's over! Decode and Twilight! :: sigh :: at least we still have fanfiction!**

**In honor of BD2 I've added some quotes in there ;) HOW MUCH DID YOU ALL LOVE BD2?! IVE SEEN IN 4 TIMES SO FAR lol**

**I want thank all of my readers. Seriously, you guys kick major ass and I love you all! I don't know what I would do with out you! **

**I do hope you check out my new story _Beastly_. **

**Thank you all again ! you guys are the best!**


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